She is Worth my World- Shmi's Legacy
Not getting any sleep the night before perhaps was not the best way to make a good impression for the Jedi Council. Even if every part of your dress is spit-shined and your outward appearance is immaculate your weariness is obvious in your force presence. Obi-Wan cradled his head in a hand for a moment staving off a small headache. It was just a small twinge behind his right temple but it was insistent, most like his Padawan.
The young Jedi Master straightened himself up in his council seat and swept the room with a curious eye. Only five Jedi Masters were actually present for the audience with Anakin Skywalker, the others were too embroiled in their campaigns against the Separatists. It had only been a week yet already the Jedi Order has been scattered to the stars like dust in the wind. The Temple had been feeling empty as of late, even during the middle of the day.
Master Yoda sat in his customary seat, his normally open expression closed off and sober. The ancient Jedi Master must still be feeling the loss of so many of their number on Geonosis. 184 Jedi dead in a single day and less than 30 walked away and not a single one of them whole. Masters, Knights, and Padawans all gone and one with the force.
Master Windu sat beside the wrinkled green Jedi, his signature scowl etched on his face and a thumb unconsciously trancing across his lightsaber hilt. The Jedi Battle master may be a hardened warrior but the events of the battle of Geonosis seemed to have taken its toll. His mood looked even worse than usual, something that may make Anakin's time more difficult. Mace Windu doesn't like Anakin, he had been the chief voice against allowing the "Chosen One" to train as a Jedi despite being far too old by Jedi standards to start training.
Master Mundi seemed unconcerned with the early morning summons. He looked to be meditating, his eyes were closed and his breathing- actually no, now that he looked closer the Cerean was simply asleep. No doubt worn out by his worried wives the night before.
It was still odd to Obi-Wan that a Jedi had been allowed to marry. He understood why though, there are a few other species that had a mandated mating policy that ensured the survival of a race but to have children and remain detached enough to still be Jedi…
A pair of saucy blue eyes gracing above a witty grin and a glittering Mandalorian ball gown swept through Obi-Wan's thoughts, taking center stage for the first time in a while.
He shook those thoughts of her from his mind. He had pushed her away and she had done the same. No matter how they felt about each other it just wasn't possible they lived in two very different worlds. It was impossible for a Jedi to love a politician. Right?
The other two Jedi Masters present were Eeth Koth, a male Zabrack, the same species as Darth Maul only with yellow skin, and Shaak Ti, a Togruta Female with ornate blue and white striped montral (Horns) and leeku (head-tails) and deep orange-red skin. She was the only one present by hologram, being that she was placed in charge of training the new republic clone troopers being created on Kamino.
Obi-Wan swept his robe free of any non-existent dust and fidgeted in his chair. He nearly leapt out of his skin when Master Yoda's wizened chirping voice piped up.
"Master Kenobi, nervous are we?" The small green Jedi asked. His tone was light as if slightly amused and knowing, as if he could read the human Jedi's mind. Obi-Wan wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case.
"Anxious is perhaps a more accurate word Master." He replied.
Master Windu rose a skeptical eyebrow. "Don't you know why your Padawan has demanded this audience, Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm almost as in the dark as you are. Anakin refused to speak unless it was in front of the council."
"We are not at the beck and call of your darling apprentice Kenobi!" Mace Windu lectured, his nostrils flaring. Obi-Wan suppressed a sigh as the Jedi Battle master added, "Perhaps your attachment to the boy has clouded your judgement-"
For better or worse before Master Windu could continue to tear into him Anakin chose that moment to enter into the council chamber, interrupting the lecture and drawing Windu's wrathful scowl.
Obi-Wan glanced at the chrono above the far wall and noticed for perhaps the first time Anakin was actually on time.
His Padawan was clad in his usual tan and brown Jedi robes, the folds were pressed and straight and his hair freshly cut short with his padawan braid laid over his left shoulder. The only thing out of place was his golden Mechno-hand and the two brunt pieces of his lightsaber held in the metal fingers. Under the silent gazes of the Jedi Masters Anakin strode with purpose to the center of the chamber and dipped into a respectful bow.
It was seriously weirding Obi-Wan out how Jedi-like and so unlike himself Anakin was acting.
Who is this Jedi and what have you done with my Padawan?
"Masters, Thank you for allowing me this audience." Anakin said, his dead still bowed. A small smile fought to spread across Obi-Wan's face.
Never mind, I like this one.
Master Windu opened his mouth to reply, no doubt with a barbed tongue but thankfully Master Yoda beat him to the punch.
"Raise your head you may Padawan Skywalker." Yoda bid with a small tap of his cane against his knee. Once Anakin rose his head to look the Grand Master in the eye Yoda arched his eyebrows in an openly discerning expression. "Curious to the reason you have asked to see us, I am."
Obi-Wan caught the subtle glance Anakin threw his way and the near imperceptible tightening of his Mechno-hand's grip of his destroyed lightsaber. Though his face betrayed nothing but calm and confidence Obi-Wan felt a shaking ripple through their Force-bond like a rattling breath through petrified lungs.
On the inside Anakin was so nervous it eclipsed Obi-Wan's own. He now is just realizing just how important last night's conversation was to Anakin. His Padawan is right now leaning heavily against Obi-Wan's promise of support.
Can you trust me Master?
Obi-Wan sent out a pulse of reassurance across their Force-Bond and Anakin's death grip on his shorn lightsaber eased, the servos in his fingers loosening with a tinny groan of relief.
Anakin took a deep breath to center himself and Obi-Wan saw a familiar reckless light shining in his deep blue eyes.
"I'm getting Married."
Obi-Wan blinked, as did the other Jedi Masters, even Yoda looked thrown by Anakin's declaration.
I suppose not even Yoda could have sensed that plot twist.
Unfortunately Master Windu was the first to recover his composure.
"What did you just say Padawan?" Windu asked, is voice dipping into a growling baritone.
A wave of vindicated amusement rolled from Anakin and a small challenging grin spread across his face.
"I said I'm getting married Master Windu." Anakin repeated simply with a shrug, all sense of is previously flawless decorum promptly thrown out the window. Anakin could never back down from a challenge and Mace Windu happened to provide that.
"Padawan Skywalker," Master Windu's growl darkened as did his scowl. "since the moment we have allowed you to step into our temple we have allowed you countless exceptions."
Though Obi-Wan silently agreed with Master Windu so far the way the Battle master said these things irked him. Mace Windu seemed to be almost blaming Anakin for the circumstances of his admittance to the Jedi Order.
Though he knew it not to be true Obi-Wan felt Master Windu was inadvertently attacking his fallen Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He didn't like that one bit. He had to fight to center himself as Master Windu began to drag out fault after fault back into the light.
"We have allowed you to train as a Jedi despite you being far too old and the darkness that resides in your heart. We have allowed you to remain in the order despite your REPEATED transgressions and violations of the Jedi Code as well as the law." Mace Windu lifted a hand and extended a finger for each violation.
"Illegal modification of Speeder craft, underaged driving, street racing, betting on said street racing-"
"-In my defense I was left unsupervised-"
"SILENCE PADAWAN!" Master Windu barked. "You will not interrupt me again." He added in a dangerous rumble.
Obi-Wan held his breath but Anakin miraculously bit back a scathing remark of his own and allowed Master Windu to say his piece.
"We have allowed you exceptions time and time again, what makes you think we will allow you this blatant violation of the Jedi Code because of your flimsy corrupting attachment?"
Thunderous rage stormed over Anakin's expression and white hot righteous fury surged from him through the force. Obi-Wan flinched as if he had been burned, their force-bond exposing him to the unfiltered heat of his Padawan's outrage.
"Perhaps I hadn't made myself clear." In stark contrast to the inferno of anger roiling inside him Anakin's voice was cold and hard as tempered durasteel. The young man seemed to have skipped from blistered shouting straight to frigid and calm fury.
Anakin advanced a step toward the glowering Jedi Battle Master and thrust a finger in his direction causing the already twitchy Jedi Master to grasp his lightsaber on reflex. For one horrifying second Obi-Wan thought Master Windu was about to jump to his feet and strike his Apprentice down where he stood, somehow though Master Windu stayed his hand though his face hardened to stone as Anakin continued to speak, his voice powerful and his tone final.
"The most beautiful creature in the galaxy is outside waiting on me. No matter what happens in this chamber, no matter what you say, when I walk out of that door she and I are going to get married." Anakin's blue eyes sharpened as his own voice deepened into a growl. "I don't need nor want your approval on this matter. I'm not asking for permission. I stated a fact."
Obi-Wan looked to the rest of the council, noting the other Jedi Masters had stayed quiet as they watched the exchange, their reactions to his Padawan's statement varied. Yoda's eyes narrowed to a pensive squint as he absorbed Anakin's speech and the vibrations shaking through the force. Master Mundi held an understanding though pitying expression, as if he could sympathize with what Anakin felt but believed his attachment to his beloved was his downfall. Eeth Koth looked to be scrutinizing Anakin like he was observing him for the first time and trying to dissect his words like some puzzle.
Shaak Ti's holographic face on the other hand showed nothing but bewilderment. She had no idea what was going on and she felt way out of her depth since Anakin had started the audience. The poor woman. Though truth be told Obi-Wan was very much in the same boat with her clutching to the mast just trying to keep afloat through this stormy confrontation.
"You know Padawan Skywalker," Mace Windu said, his teeth bared in a restrained snarl. "Before you opened your mouth I was considering knighting you."
Obi-Wan was surprised by Master Windu's words and watched his Padawan closely for his reaction. It had been Anakin's dream to become a Jedi knight since Qui-Gon had freed the boy. He had expected some kind of surprise or conflict from Anakin didn't react at all, but both his hard expression and through their shared force-bond.
"To think of all we have given you Padawan." Master Windu continued, settling back in his chair and folding his arms. "When you were brought to us you had nothing. We have given you a home, food, training, education."
Mace Windu paused as if considering his words. "We gave you a life. Yet, this is how you repay us?"
Anakin's head dipped slightly and his shoulders shook. At first Obi-Wan felt distraught. It looked as if his apprentice was fighting to keep tears of shame from his face, but then Anakin threw his head back.
Anakin burst out in laughter.
"You gave me a life, yes." He chortled, now instead of a scowl Master Windu's frown was one of confusion. Suddenly Anakin's smile hardened into a disguised frown.
"To think you would use the same words my owner Watto said to me and my mother when I was a child." He sneered at a startled Windu. This got a reaction out of Master Yoda and a blink of surprise from Master Koth.
"You do not own me Master Windu." Anakin continued. He glanced at Obi-Wan to gauge his expression. Whatever he saw in his teacher's face must have satisfied him because when he turned his eyes back to the dumbstruck Jedi Battle Master his sneer lost some of its edge and Obi-Wan felt his anger relax.
"1,893,742." Anakin crossed his arms to mirror Mace Windu and quirked an eyebrow. "not counting official travel expenses that is how much I have cost the Jedi Order since I joined you ten years ago."
Obi-Wan once again found himself thrown off kilter. He had no idea that Anakin had been keeping track of something like that. Though now that he thought about it his Padawan had always asked the strangest questions about everything they used and did early on in his training as a Jedi. Obi-Wan had assumed Anakin had just been curious but was he saying he had actually been keeping track of every credit he used down to the cent?
"I was born into slavery." Anakin explained. "My life had always had a price tag on it. I was freed by Master Jinn in a wager valued in what would amount to a pallet of spare ship parts. I would be foolish when I was just freed to allow myself to be bought or indebted to another." Anakin narrowed his eyes at Mace Windu. "Just like you had just attempted to use against me Master Windu."
"I street raced for money. I bet on myself and saved every credit I could hide away. Still though, it wasn't enough so yesterday I sold the last of my speeders and droid projects."
Anakin spread his arms out in a proud gesture and grinned hollowly. "Just this morning as of twenty minutes ago I paid off every credit to my expenses to the Jedi Temple. I am once again a free man."
Anakin dropped his arms and his grin faded. "And as a free man I can choose whatever I want to do with my life, so-"
He flicked his Mechno hand and the two shorn pieces of his destroyed lightsaber clattered to the center of the chamber floor.
"I quit."
As Anakin descended the 750 steps of the Jedi Temple for what was very likely the last time he turned his eyes to the glorious sunrise peaking between the city's skyscraper studded horizon.
Though he knew the sunrise looked much like it always had everyday this time he saw it differently. It was the beginning of his new life. A life without the Jedi Order.
Though He felt no regret in his choice He had still wished that maybe…
"Anakin!" A familiar shout came from behind him in a voice that filled him both with warmth and guilt. "Anakin wait! Please! I need to talk with you!"
Anakin halted his descent and turned back to see his Master -Former Master- Obi-Wan standing at the stop of the stairs, his chest heaving and his face sweaty from chasing after him.
Anakin couldn't help it; a fond smile broke out over his face. He reversed his course and headed back up to the crest of the 750 steps and stood before his teacher. He didn't know what he was going to say now that he and Obi-Wan were alone and everything had been dragged out into the light. Apparently Obi-Wan had no idea either, but Anakin was alright with that. It was also funny to see the famous "Negotiator" at a loss for words.
Anakin decided to make the first move and plopped down on the steps and patted the spot next to him.
"Anakin, you can't sit on the 750 steps." Obi-Wan lectured on pure reflex. He stiffened at realizing his mistake but Anakin just chuckled and patted the spot again, insistent.
"I can and I will. And so can you Master." Anakin realized his own slip of the tongue but let it go. Hearing him say that seemed to put Obi-Wan a bit more at ease and to Anakin's pleasant surprise actually sat down on the steps, albeit after daintily dusting off the stone and primly setting his dress robes properly around his lap as if he was still in the council chamber.
They shared a quiet moment just allowing each other's familiar presences to relax the other. Gradually their mental defenses lowered and their Force-bond flickered to life, singing with bittersweet memories and dancing with Obi-Wan's light and Anakin's jaded and intense will.
When he felt ready Anakin was the first to break the silence, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"My mother died."
Shocked silence seized Obi-Wan and Anakin felt it in their Force-bond.
Obi-Wan felt as if his heart had been gut-checked by Rancor. Black tendrils of guilt wrenched his throat shut.
Anakin had told him of his dreams of his mother dying horribly and repeatedly several weeks ago. He had dismissed his Padawan's fears as a moment of weakness because of his lingering attachments. They had just been dreams, right?
Anakin's gaze drifted to Obi-Wan, his eyes clouded in fresh grief as he began his tale.
"I disobeyed you Master. Before you had been captured on Geonosis you commanded me to stay on Naboo and protect Pad- Senator Amidala." Anakin rubbed his tired eyes with his remaining flesh hand but did nothing to stem the tears that rolled down his cheek.
"Those nightmares of Mom dying continued and only got worse until one night I felt Mom reach out to me in my dream and scream my name. I-I decided to go, but I didn't want to disobey you until Padme offered to come with me so I could see Mom and still protect her. But when we a-arrived…"
Anakin's voice squeaked, he had to clear his throat. He flashed a weak and watery smile at Obi-Wan, this being more a confession to his Master than anything else.
"I have a step-father. And-and a step-brother and sister. They are moisture farmers, good, respectable people. Mom had been married for six years and had found freedom and I had no idea. I…I wasn't there."
Anakin blinked hard and let out a shaky resigned sigh.
"It happened little over a month ago. Mom had been gathering mushrooms when a band of Tusken Raider kidnapped her. That's when I began having those horrible dreams."
Unconsciously Anakin's flesh hand drifted over his golden mechanical hand, his thumb pricking at the exposed servo muscles in his wrist as he relived that terrible day.
"I found her in a Tusken Raider camp discarded like trash in a hovel. I cut my way through to try and rescue her but I-" He sobbed and cupped his human hand to his mouth. Obi-Wan was overwhelmed in the sorrow and agony flooding through their force-bond from his former Padawan. He felt tears of his own spill from his eyes as he hesitantly rested a hand comfortingly on Anakin's heaving shoulders.
"-Mom died in my arms." Anakin managed to choke out. He wrestled for control over himself and all the while Obi-Wan sat there patiently. Anakin drew from the calm and honest sorrow and guilt that rolled from his teacher. He wished he could sink into the force and let all his pain bleed away like Obi-Wan could. His former master was so much stronger than him and he could only hope to someday be almost as strong as him.
Anakin let out a long shaking breath and swallowed his tears. He could mourn later. He wiped his eyes and turned back to Obi-Wan.
"I got to say goodbye to her." He said. "All I could do was beg for her forgiveness for not being there for her and for being a horrible son. You know what she did?" He chuckled weakly. "She laughed at me."
Obi-Wan snorted in amusement, easily believing that the mother of his snarky Padawan was every bit as sharp-witted and teasing as her son.
"Mom told me she was proud of me." Anakin continued, his eyes drifting to the sunrise throwing beams of reddish light across the Jedi temple. "She told me I was her hero and that I don't have to be a Jedi to make her proud. She also made me promise her something."
"She told me never to stop loving, no matter how much it hurt." Anakin sighed. "So I intend to do just that. But I can't be a Jedi and love how I need to. So I had a choice to make and I chose a life without the Jedi Order."
"But… Anakin." Pain overcame Obi-Wan's face and Anakin crooked a grin and patted his teacher's knee.
"Master, I said a life without the Jedi Order, but I never said a life with you. I do love you." Obi-Wan blinked, startled at Anakin's blunt admission. Anakin's grin brightened. "I still want you in my life. You will always have a place with me. You are part of my family. How does brother Obi sound?"
Obi-Wan's breath hitched and he looked away but eventually he managed to retort albeit with a strained chuckle as he recalled an old nickname a certain Mandalorian senator had once called him. "I always preferred Ben myself."
Anakin laughed and Obi-Wan cracked a smile as hope returned to his eyes.
Perhaps all was not as lost as Obi-Wan had thought.
"So tell me Anakin," Obi-Wan began, a sudden surge of curiosity urging him to ask. "Do you think Padme is worth the risk of leaving the Jedi Order behind? What if you two don't work out?"
Anakin cracked a smile, not at all surprised that Obi-Wan knew which girl he intended to marry. "Leaving the Jedi Order was for me Master. I don't think I could be happy not being able to love, but Padme?" Anakin laughed brightly.
"She is worth my whole world."
A/N: I bet y'all didn't see this plot twist coming!
I feel that most of the pain and drama in Star Wars could have been avoided if Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, and the rest of the characters had only talked to each other rather than just locked everything inside and let it stew like a bunch of angsty tweens. Just admitting that you are not okay is more than half the battle and that alone would have steered Anakin clear from all of those years of suffering.
I wonder, now with everything out in the open and Anakin no longer a Jedi what will happen next?
I hope y'all enjoyed Shmi's Legacy as much as I did writing it. I relished the challenge with writing from Obi-Wan and Anakin's points of view throughout this project. I intend to continue this series, Shmi's Legacy being part 1 of a planned trilogy AU.
Be on the look out for part 2 of "Even If I Have To Give Up The Light"
See y'all soon!
-Untraveled