FYI Lemons ahead*
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Ch. 59 Let's Get It On
The journey to the bathroom felt like it was a 5k crawl rather than just the few steps it was to walk across the room. I attempted—and failed miserably—to keep a cool exterior while my thoughts ran rampant, my anxious nature in overdrive. Edward was either too wrapped up in his own thoughts or too much of a gentleman to say anything about the chaos in my mind. Maybe it was a little bit of both.
As I finally—ten years later—reached the bathroom door, Edward close behind me, I extended my hand toward the door handle but paused just before the cool metal touched my skin. My chest suddenly felt like it was too small, like my lungs couldn't hold enough oxygen. My breathing sped and became so loud that even my lame human ears could hear it, and I struggled to focus on anything else.
God, why am I freaking out? He's going to think I'm having second thoughts, and I'm not...it's just...Ugh, I need to get out of my head. Stop thinking about it, Iris. Just do something. Move, damnit! You're standing here looking like a crazy person—
"Iris." My whirling, self-doubting thoughts halted abruptly when I felt Edward reach around my waist from behind and place his hand over my own which still remained extended toward the door. The feel of his cool skin, such juxtaposition against the warmth of my own, soothed me as a reminder that he was here, and I was not in this alone. He took a steady step forward while I stayed in place, leaving very little space—as in no space at all—between his front and my back, and I felt him. Let's just say that he was no longer restricting contact between us. Oh God...
He leaned down slowly so that his chin rested on my shoulder as he folded our hands around my abdomen, hugging me from behind. With a sigh of relief, my breathing regulated to match the steadiness of his, and he began working his way along my neck with light kisses up to my ear lo—ohhh...
I hardly registered that we were no longer outside of the bathroom until I heard the water turn on in the shower. Edward took one short step away from me, and I embarrassingly whimpered at the sudden, unwelcome distance between us.
He spun me around, watching my expression for any sign of protest as he cautiously reached for the hem of my dress. Once there, he paused with a quirk of his brow, silently asking for my consent, so I lifted my arms, wordlessly allowing him to slide the fabric over my head. As he inched the cotton gradually higher and higher, more and more of my skin was exposed, leaving me nearly bare before him. Only my bra and panties remained between me and the cold air as I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other and shrugged. What you see is what you get. Sorry...
Edward didn't look sorry at all. His eyes grazed over me appreciatively—at least I hoped that's what the expression was—as I stood there totally vulnerable with almost every bit of my skin uncovered.
"There will never be a more beautiful sight before me than this, Iris. You are absolutely exquisite, the muse every artist would dream of, the image which even Michelangelo could never achieve. Every inch of you deserves to be worshipped for the divine creature you are..." His voice grew lower, rougher, and more sensual the longer he spoke, drawing me in and enticing me further to close the distance between us. Right then I knew that I had never and would never again feel more attractive than when he described his desire for me through his words.
His tongue darted out quickly to wet his lips and he stepped forward in an exaggeratedly slow, smooth motion so that he could bring his mouth to mine. I froze as his wintry hands crept their way to the front of my bra. I felt the click as he opened the clasp there, the tight band around my chest hanging free, and the material fell haphazardly to my feet. My breath hitched when his fingers ghosted over the sensitive skin where my ribs curved into my breast. Edward...
After those first reverent and timid advances, he never ceased in his endeavor, trailing kisses lightly down my neck, my shoulder, across my collar bone, and down my chest. Without stopping, his silkened lips skimmed around my breasts rather than across them. He grazed my ribs with his icy tongue, and the sound of another low rumble emanated from his chest. I reached my hands behind his elbows, pulling him closer to me as I lost myself to him.
But despite my eagerness, he finally slowed as he fell gently to his knees, his lips continuing to make their way tenderly, purposefully across my abdomen. He paused and hesitantly reached for the waistband of my underwear.The sight of his hand outstretched reminded of me of my own in the hall. He was still very scared.
"I trust you. I love you." I whispered truthfully, and he looked up to meet my eyes as his thumbs looped the fabric, and he drew them downward, agonizingly slowly, leaving my body truly exposed to him. Wordlessly, he stood without leaving my eyes.
I stepped forward to reach for his shirt, carefully tugging it free of his slacks, our eyes still burning into one other's. My fingers moved to unfasten his buttons, shyly starting from the top.
The intensity of the moment expanded as I made my way through the buttons one after another, never leaving the other's vision. However, I knew that I had to break the eye contact eventually because I was totally unwilling to miss my first view of an unclothed Edward.
With my thoughts of desire for him in full swing, his dark eyes simmered with warmth and his own desire. He finally allowed himself to look down, catching a full view of my naked body, and I think I can say that I actually did the impossible. I had dazzled Edward Cullen.
"So beautiful..." he whispered with a look of awe.
When my hands unclasped the last of the buttons, I slid my hands up the center of his abdomen to his chest just enough to push his now unencumbered shirt off his broad shoulders. I sighed in contentment as my fingers eagerly traced along each well-defined muscle of his arms, chest, abdomen...I stopped myself when I reached the deep 'v' which was lost in the waistband of his pants.
He watched me patiently as I too hesitantly reached to unlatch the buckle of his black leather belt, an uncharacteristic blush rushing to my cheeks, and subsequently unfastened the button of his pants just beneath the belt. In an exaggerated motion, I lowered the zipper next, looking back into Edward's eyes as I nudged the fabric of his slacks south, exposing as much of him to me as I had ever seen.
Edward was apparently a briefs man, and I appreciated the way they hugged him in just the right way...but now it was my turn to take a step back and fully drink in the perfection of my husband's form.
As vulgar, awkward, and silly as I normally would have been in a moment like this, I was surprised by the wave of sentiment which overtook me. Tears prickled my eyes, and my lower lip began to tremble. He was, without a single doubt, the epitome of beauty. It was almost painful to stand before him in all his glory.
"You're mistaken." He finally broke the heavy silence, sauntering toward me and brushing away the salty tear which had fallen to the crest of my lips. He cupped my face lovingly in his hands as if I were the most precious thing they had ever handled. "It is you who is the epitome of all things beautiful. I am not worthy of your company, and yet, you have granted me the gift of your presence time and time again. You have also—so graciously—allowed me the right of calling you my wife, so now, please, let me show you exactly what all of your grace means to me, Iris, my beautiful wife." His features grew even more severe with lust as he drew in a steady breath. I copied the motion, but my inspiration wasn't as steady as I suddenly grew impatient with anticipation.
Edward lowered his own briefs, stepping out of them, and kicking them leisurely to the side with a smirk and quirked brow. I couldn't help but look down, and my eyes widened. Oh. My. Edward.
He took another step toward me, gently guiding me toward the shower which had steamed up the whole room at this point.
The water should have been too hot for me to bare. It should have burned my skin, but Edward was everywhere as he kissed me, caressed me...worshippedme...and his freezing cold skin neutralized the scalding sting of the water which pelted me from every angle.
His breath caught, and he moaned, "Iris..." in satisfaction as my hand travelled a bit lower than usual, meeting him. He immediately stopped kissing me, slamming his hands on either side of my head against the wall. "Wait, please," he almost growled.
When I pulled away, shaking, and leaned my back against the slippery, smooth tile, I saw that he had his eyes squeezed tightly closed, the rest of his expression blank, and he was inhaling and exhaling long, deep breaths.
"It's ok. You'll be alright. You won't do anything to harm me. Please..." I whispered to him in encouragement as I lifted my fingers up to gently caress his cheek.
We waited together through the tense silence until he finally spoke in an forced calm voice. "I think we need to go just a bit slower." He explained. Slower?! Umm, I mean, slower, ok, I can do slower...
Edward opened his eyes, grinning in amusement at my eagerness. He reached around me for a bottle of shampoo which I hadn't even noticed before while we were...busy. He squeezed some of the gel into his hand and turned me around so that I way facing away from him. "Allow me, my dear wife. Intimacy doesn't always have to begin with intercourse, you know..." I could hear the smirk in his velvet voice. His hands began brushing through my hair, lathering it in aromatic suds. Goosebumps erupted all over my body at the indescribable and unexpected tingling pleasure I was experiencing with his touch.
He ran his fingers slowly through my hair again and again. The motion which was innocent by definition felt almost more erotic than what we had been doing before. He then reached for a bar of soap and began dragging it along my skin with just a bit too much pressure, starting at the apex of my shoulder and continuing down my arm, my back, my legs...and back up. He turned me back around and repeated the process along the front of me.
I felt every brush of his fingertips on my skin, my senses so heightened in anticipation and sensuality that I was sure the smallest thing would set me off. I cried out when his hand purposefully, yet so gently, grazed up to the point where my legs joined, and that was it. I was totally limp, putty in his hands.
I could have sworn that I heard a purr when he moved quickly to support my weight so he could finish rinsing my non-functioning body. He shut off the water and grabbed a towel off the rack with his free hand, swaddling me in the thick, fluffy fabric and tenderly drying my skin completely before easily wrapping a second towel around his own waist with one hand. He lifted me, bridal style, into his arms and carried me back to the bedroom, sitting me lightly on the edge of the bed. He stepped away just long enough to unwrap his towel and finish drying himself off.
I couldn't speak this whole time. My brain was mush. I was caught in a trance as I watched him move so perfectly, so gracefully. His eyes met mine then, and the intensity between us grew once more. He sat on the bed beside me, and his nearness sparked me back to life, my sudden ardor giving me the boost I needed to regain my ability to move.
I shoved the towel away from myself, haphazardly flinging it to the floor, and excitedly pushed the sopping wet cords of hair still dangling wildly around my face off my shoulders.
"Edward?" My own voice was low and rough with desire now. Oh God. I can't take this much longer...
"Yes?" There was a small grin on his lips, his dark golden eyes were still wild with hunger. How he was controlling himself so well was beyond me.
"Lay down." I gently demanded.
"As you wish, my love." He moved so that his head was positioned comfortably on the pillows at the headboard.
"Don't move." I commanded him again.
"Whatever you say..." He said with a casual smile. His eyes were black now, and his...body...was called to full attention. He was definitely enjoying this...
"Now let me show you what you mean to me..." I repeated his words from before in what I hoped was an alluring tone. Try not to move. Just enjoy this...
I crawled slowly from the foot of the bed, pausing once I could touch his skin. I began to create my own trail of kisses up from his foot to his ankle and leg, around to his hip—there was no way that he was ready for me to move any closer to his center—and up his ribcage. I subtly changed direction as I made my way across the expanse of his firm chest and not-so-gracefully climbed over him so that my legs now straddled his abdomen, but still avoided making contact with a certain prominent body part. I had to go slowly for him. His whole experience was new to him. I wanted him to know that I would care for him, respect his need to build up to our mutual desire for one another. His unnecessary breathing became ragged, and a growl erupted from his tightly clenched teeth and taunt jaw.
I bit back a smile at the sound and tossed a pillow to him. "Bite this if you need to, my love, and stop me if it's too much." I lowered my head so our lips could meet, and he reached behind me, placing his hands timidly on my back. He was testing himself.
As our kissing deepened, I began to slide my body down his so very, very slowly, so gradually that my intention was clear to him both mentally and physically. I would not take my inexperienced, overwhelmed, vampire of a husband by surprise tonight for each of our sakes.
We gasped together, but another, fiercer growl escaped him as our centers brushed in contact. I felt him tense as I prepared to take him into myself.
"Are you ok?" I breathed as my heart rate and respirations raced in response to my desire for him, my husband.
"I've truly never been better, Iris." He gritted out, his eyes onyx wild with his own readiness.
I slowly lowered myself, closing the distance between my heat and his cool. We gasped again together as he fully entered me.
Again I was taken by surprise at my own reaction compared to my expectation. I couldn't move because I was so consumed with the energy that exploded between us as we became one. He arched his head backward into the pillows, his eyes rolling back just before his lids closed, and a third, deafeningly loud roar gave forth. This time the sound awoke something primitive within me. I had meant to be careful and purposeful in my course tonight, but when he made that noise, I couldn't remember why I was being careful. This was my husband, my mate. MINE.
He suddenly ripped his hands away from my back, grasping desperately for anything in his wake as he hissed at the new sensation of being inside of me. His hands settled on the mattress, his fingers digging violently into the bed and shredding away pieces of cotton, foam, and metal springs in chunks as if he were grasping sand on the beach.
His face contorted in pain as he growled. "Wait, Iris! Wait, please. I can't..." I hadn't really even moved yet besides the gently swaying of my hips that seemed to be involuntary as I slowly lost my balance in accordance with my focus. I was just his reaction to feeling me fully. God how were we going to make it through this?
I stopped any and all motion as I came back to full awareness. I even held my breath until I knew that he had full control again. Oh crap. Sorry...
"Iris, I need to do this. It's too much for you to be so in control. I have to do this on my terms." He spoke seriously while he calmed himself, but after a moment, his whip-lashing mood swings struck again as his eyes grew lustful, and he grinned devilishly up at me. "Let me ravish you, my love." He reversed our positions—still keeping our connection—so quickly that when my back hit the mattress I was momentarily confused.
"Edward!" I gasped. Fuck!
He laughed freely as his face moved toward my neck where he began running his nose up and down, inhaling deeply. After a moment, he moved his mouth back toward mine to kiss me over and over and over again until my mind was as solid as mud.
He pulled himself back so that he almost freed himself of me but then moved back in just as slowly.
"Ohhh..." I moaned at the wonderfully charged sensation down below, unable to coherently form any words.
He rocked himself back and forth, outside and inside of me again...back and forth, back and forth...so slowly...so gently...and another feral sound built in his chest, protesting loudly to break free of him, but he never lost his pace.
He increased his rhythm ever so slightly to my delight, somehow a master of all things sensual while he was trailing kisses across my jaw, down my neck...in and out...in and out...
"Oh...God..." I cried softly, but he didn't pause, only moving faster and more forcefully in the most delicious way with every noise I made.
His lips continued their assault across my chest, and I fully yelled when his tongue finally swirled around my pert nipple.
"Iris...so beautiful..." he moaned in a sweetly awed whisper against my breast as he continued to nip gently and suck. He thankfully switched sides, not willing to neglect my other breast.
In and out...in and out...faster and faster...I could feel a pressure building inside of me, crying out Please! Please!
"Ed—" Ohmygodohmygod! I was breathless as the feeling within me grew stronger and less deniable. Edward was undeniable.
He abruptly flung his head away from my skin with a hiss as he clenched the headboard, shredding impressive, hand-sized mounds out of the ornately carved wood.
In and out...faster and faster...this feeling couldn't possibly grow any greater...but it did...in and out and in and out...faster and faster...He was everything!
Suddenly a wave of energy overtook me as my body acquiesced, reaching its maximum capacity for such power surging through itself. Edward roared out one final time in pleasure and I just caught sight of him sinking his teeth into a pillow as he too rode out his release. I too moaned as one last joyful wave ebbed me into heaven, and Edward pulled me back to him, a lazy grin forming on his face of unreachable beauty.
A flash of light beamed away from us, blinding in it's power, and then it was totally black.
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