Chapter Eight

Hermione stared at the piece of parchment in her hand. I am sleep-addled, she thought. It cannot possibly say what she thought. She read it again.

Hermione,

I can't. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me.

~ S.

It did. Unbelievable.

"Coward!" Hermione yelled, picking up the plate and throwing it across the room. It smashed against the opposite wall with a satisfying crash, the eggs, bacon, and toast mingling with the broken shards. She closed her eyes and raised her hands to massage her temples. Now what?

She had to stop him. She had to find him. They were supposed to meet Kingsley in less than two hours.

"Accio wand," she said, stretching out her hand. Her wand came whizzing into the room, landing on her outstretched palm. She waved it around in a flurry; scourgify for the mess on the floor and wall, accio for the outfit she had laid out the evening before, and finally, expecto patronum to summon Harry. "Tell him to come in fifteen minutes," she told her merry little otter, and it disappeared in search of her friend.

Dressing quickly, Hermione forced herself to think rationally. She would go to Severus' and see if he was still in his flat. Maybe she would luck out, and catch him packing. It seemed unlikely, though. Severus was a planner; he would have saved preparing breakfast and leaving the note for last. Nevertheless, she had to check. With another wave of her wand, she disapparated for Severus' flat.

As expected, it was empty. Every stitch of furniture, book, painting, and plant had gone as if they had never been there. Everything, except for a small box filled with items she recognized as belonging to her, including a spare toothbrush and an old Gryffindor quidditch jersey she had pinched off one of the boys long ago. At the top was another note. This one simply stated I'm sorry.

Hermione stuffed the note into her pocket and picked up the box. She apparated back to her flat. Harry had not arrived yet. She sank onto her sofa.

Where could Severus be? He could not have apparated outside of the UK; it was too risky to apparate internationally. Could he have gone to Daphne's parents? Professor Sinistra? He would not have had time to plan an international portkey – would he?

The alarm clock went off in Hermione's bedroom. She had set it for 6:30. She was supposed to meet Kingsley in an hour and a half, and she had no idea what she might say to him now. She sighed and went to shut it off.

She needed to contact Kingsley. She needed to find Severus. She needed… she did not know what she needed. She desperately wanted to crawl back into bed, draw the covers over her head, and erase all memory of the last twenty minutes.

When you are ready to come out with your relationship, let me know. I'll do everything in my power to soften the blow.

She needed Daphne.

Hermione moved to her wardrobe and withdrew her jewelry box. There was a false bottom to the top compartment; she had hidden Daphne's address there. She retrieved the piece of parchment and headed into her living room just in time to see Harry tumble out of the floo.

"Sorry I'm late, Hermione," Harry greeted her. "Your otter had a spot of trouble waking me up." He yawned and rubbed at his eyes, knocking his glasses askew.

"Thanks for coming," Hermione said with surprising calm. "There's a pot of coffee in the kitchen. Help yourself to it, please. I need to make a quick floo call." She summoned a pillow and placed it in front of the fireplace. With a wave of her wand, the fire was roaring. She threw a pinch of floo powder into the flames. "17 Knob Hill Road, Ipswich," she said. The fire glowed green. Gingerly, Hermione leaned forward and stuck her head through the flames.

Daphne's living room – at least from what Hermione could see of it – was a large, airy room that got a lot of morning sun. "Daphne," she called. She did not know who Daphne lived with and hoped she was not about to wake up an entire household.

Adrien Pucey popped up from behind the sofa.

"Is that you, Granger?" he asked. He was dressed in running clothes and seemed to be in the middle of stretching. To her immense relief, he did not seem upset at her early morning floo.

"Yes, Pucey, good morning."

"Good morning," he replied, pulling his arms to the left side of his body and then the right before dropping them down slowly. "Looking for Daphne?"

"Yes, please. I apologize for the hour. Is she awake?"

He nodded. "Yes, we were just about to go for a run. Hold on, I'll fetch her." He disappeared behind the white sofa, out of Hermione's sightline.

Daphne appeared moments later. She, too, was dressed in running gear, her blonde hair pulled back in two long plaits.

"Is that you Hermione?" she said, hurrying over to the fireplace.

"Yes," Hermione answered. "I'm sorry for calling so early, but it's a bit of an emergency."

Daphne nodded. "Move aside, I'll be right through."

Hermione stepped back from the fire. She heard Daphne call out to Adrian, telling him to go on without her. "I'll send word as soon as I can," she heard her promise. Seconds later, she was stepping out of Hermione's floo and into the sitting room.

"What's wrong, darling?" Daphne asked, brushing a bit of soot off her arm. She stepped down from the ledge of the fireplace and placed a concerned arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Are you okay? Is Sev-," She had been about to ask if Severus was all right when she caught sight of Harry over Hermione's shoulder. She clamped up immediately. "Oh," she said softly, composing herself. "Good morning, Potter."

Harry stepped into the sitting room. "Greengrass," he said, nodding. He held up two mugs. "Coffee?" he asked. She shook her head. Harry placed one of the mugs in front of Hermione, before taking a seat on the edge of the sofa.

"It's okay," Hermione said quietly to Daphne. "He knows. Most of it, anyway, though I expect everyone will be up to date by the end of this conversation." She sighed deeply. "Severus is missing."

Hermione spent the next quarter of an hour filling in her friends on their gaps of information. Harry had been shocked to learn that Daphne was the one who had saved the Potion Master's life, and was, in fact, one of his closest living relations. "I never would have expected," he kept saying. "There is no family resemblance. I don't think I ever saw him show you any favor in his classes."

Daphne, for her part, was pleased to learn that Hermione and Severus had finally had the talk she had encouraged, though equally dismayed at the turn of events. If she was disappointed in Hermione for spying on the Professor, she did not show it. "I didn't know he kept in touch with Professor Sinistra after his greatly exaggerated death," she admitted. "Though I have known they have been friends for a very long time. They were in Slytherin House together at Hogwarts."

"Professor Sinistra was in Snape's year?" Harry asked. "My parent's year?"

Daphne nodded.

"She looks so young."

Daphne smirked. "Her brother Avery owns a very successful cosmetics company that specializes in youth potions."

Hermione glanced at the clock on the cable box. "We're due to meet Kingsley in an hour," she said quietly.

Harry whipped out his wand. "I'll cancel it."

Daphne shook her head, placing her hand across it. "Don't," she said. "Not yet." She stood. "Give me twenty minutes." She turned to Hermione. "Can I disapparate from inside your apartment?"

Hermione waved her wand, dropping her wards. She nodded.

"I'll be right back," she said, withdrawing her wand. She glanced at Harry, taking in his tartan pajama pants. "Perhaps you'd like to go home and get dressed, Potter?"

Harry rolled his eyes but transfigured his sleepwear into a pair of jeans and pullover. Daphne shrugged and disappeared.

Harry sipped his coffee. It had turned tepid, and he made a face. "Where do you think she went?"

Hermione shrugged. "No idea."

As promised, Daphne returned twenty minutes later. A man and a woman, both in their early to mid-fifties and greatly resembling Daphne, accompanied her. The woman looked vaguely familiar.

Daphne made hasty introductions. "This is my father, Julian Greengrass," she said, gesturing toward the man. "And my aunt, Vivienne Ketteridge. Daddy, Auntie, Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter."

Julian Greengrass reached for Hermione's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Granger," he said formally. He shook his head. "Naturally, I had hoped we would become acquainted under better circumstances."

Hermione smiled weakly at him. "Me, too," she said honestly. She had been looking forward to meeting Severus' cousin, though certainly not like this.

"We know Vivienne, of course," Harry said cordially.

Did we? Hermione wondered, wrinkling her brow.

The blonde witch nodded. "I head the Ministry's Department of Public Relations," she explained. She gestured her head toward Harry. "Mister Potter and I have spent a great deal of time together. It's nice to remake your acquaintance, Miss Granger, even under these circumstances."

Julian Greengrass clapped his hands together. "Daphne's filled us in a bit," he began. "I understand you, Miss Granger, are the young woman Cousin Eileen told us about. Severus was ready to come clean, then, was he?"

"So he said," Hermione breathed. She coughed. "We're meant to meet Kingsley in less than half an hour."

"Where?"

"At my office."

"Ah," Julian scratched his chin. "Mr. Potter, you're close with the Minister, correct?"

"Yes," Harry replied.

"Do you think he could be persuaded to either meet us here at the appointed time or perhaps later in the day?"

Harry nodded, picking up his wand. "I'll ask." He disapparated, presumably headed to the Shacklebolt's home.

Julian Greengrass studied Hermione appraisingly. "I hope you don't mind, Miss Granger," he said.

Mind? Hermione was relieved the have someone take charge. She still longed to crawl back into bed. She nodded her assent.

"Excellent." Julian Greengrass sat down on the wing chair across from Hermione. His sister and daughter likewise took seats, Daphne sitting closest to her. She placed her hand on top of Hermione's.

"My family has jumped into action," she told her. "Mum has gone to Hogwarts to find out what, if anything, Professor Sinistra knows. Theia has already headed into the Ministry; she is trying to use her husband's diplomatic status to ascertain if any portkeys were used to leave the country."

"We've dispatched the rest of the family, as well," Mr. Greengrass added. "I've notified Eileen that Severus has disappeared, and Phoebe, Astoria, Adrian, and Thomas are looking for him in various haunts we've known him to frequent over the years."

"Thomas?"

"My husband," Mrs. Ketteridge piped up. "He's a retired Cursebreaker. He's checking at Gringott's to see if Severus headed over there, and plans to check around Knockturn Alley as well."

Hermione wanted to cry. Severus' family was wonderful. It both comforted and made her miserable at the same time. None of these kind people would say it, but he had clearly left because of her. She has pushed him too far, too fast.

Daphne sensed her discomfort. "Don't worry, Hermione," she said, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder. "He's somewhere out there, and we'll find him."

Harry returned with Kingsley at eight on the dot. Hermione was much relieved that Mr. Greengrass continued to take the lead. He filled the minister in on what had transpired – that he and Daphne had taken Severus from the Shrieking Shack during the Battle of Hogwarts to their home in Cambridge. That his wife and eldest daughter had dutifully tended to Severus' wounds during a very long convalescence and had managed to restore his health. That Severus had been living for the past several years abroad in Italy with his mother and had recently returned to the UK.

Then it was Hermione's turn to speak. She told Kingsley that she had run into Severus shortly after his return. That they had become close friends. That she had called the meeting with him today because Severus said he was ready to give up living in hiding.

When she finished, Kingsley shook his head. "I'm glad to hear Severus survived. I have known him since he was a scrawny first year – I hated thinking he died in that dirty shack, all alone, and that some Death Eater had taken his body for some nefarious purpose. But why was he in hiding at all?" He directed his last comment to his head of Public Relations and her brother.

Vivienne Ketteridge answered. "He's been serving two masters for more than twenty years, Kingsley. Our cousin just wanted to be free."

"He made a stupid mistake in his youth," Mr. Greengrass continued. "And spent the rest of his life repenting for it."

"He's been cleared of every charge against him," Kingsley argued. "His bravery is celebrated throughout the -,"

"He knows," Vivienne interrupted. "He hates being called a hero. He thought it would be best, easier for everyone if he just disappeared."

Kingsley frowned. "Then what's changed? What made him decide to come out of hiding?"

Hermione stiffened. Me, she thought miserably. She was about to confess it, but Daphne stopped her.

"Me," Daphne answered. "I'm getting married next month, Minister. It was my dearest wish to have my cousin at the wedding. I've gone and planned a big affair – my fiancé and I have been together for years, you see – and he felt that the only way he could attend was to come out of the woodwork, as it were." She sighed. "It seems we pushed him to do so before he was truly ready."

Kingsley was no fool, and Hermione knew it. He could sense there was more to the story. Fortunately, he was polite enough not to push for more information.

"I appreciate all of you telling me this today," he said. He looked around at each of the assembled party in turn, hesitating on Hermione, before turning to address Mrs. Kitteridge. "We will keep this story quiet for now, just between us, and the rest of your family. As much as I wish that Severus had come to me, you are quite right, Mr. Greengrass, Vivienne. He has paid his penance and served masters long enough. If he wishes to remain in hiding that is his right." With that, the Minister stood, signaling the end of their meeting. He shook hands with everyone in the room, save for Hermione, who he wrapped in a fatherly hug.

"I'll let your supervisor know you'll be taking the week off," he whispered into her ear. "If you need me or Nimue, do not hesitate to contact us." Hermione nodded into his shoulder and managed a thank you. With that, Kingsley left, accompanied by Harry who promised he would return shortly.

Vivienne glanced at her wristwatch. "I should go, too. I'm due at the office." She turned to her brother. "I'll check in with Thomas from there. We'll speak later Julian." She smiled weakly at her niece and Hermione and wished them a good day before disapparating.

Julian Greengrass was next to leave. He, too, promised to keep Hermione and Daphne abreast of any discoveries. Before he went, he scribbled his address on a piece of parchment, pressing it into Hermione's hand. "If you need us, my dear, we are there," he told her, before departing.

Once he was gone, the tears that had been threatening to run for the past few hours started. "Your family is amazing," Hermione told Daphne, dabbing at her wet cheeks. "I'm so sorry I've caused this."

Daphne stared at her incredulously. "Darling, you haven't caused anything!" she said, pulling Hermione into her arms. "Shh, don't cry." She rubbed her hand in soothing circles along Hermione's back.

Her compassion made Hermione cry harder. "I have," she sobbed. "I pushed him too much. I made him leave."

"No, you haven't. His own stubbornness made him leave," Daphne replied. She gave Hermione a tight squeeze and withdrew. "And yes, my family may be amazing now, but I will share a secret with you. Much of it stems from guilt. My Dad and Vivienne are significantly older than Severus, ten and seven years respectively. Neither of them spent much time with him as a child. You see, Cousin Eileen was disowned when she married Severus' father, and later, and when my family discovered the abuses that man inflicted upon the pair of them…," Daphne trailed off, shaking her head. "They still have not forgiven themselves for their inaction, Dad, in particular. A part of him believes he could have stopped Severus from joining with the Death Eaters had he tried."

"Oh," Hermione breathed.

"For my part, I don't think Dad is right. Perhaps if they had the relationship they do today, maybe, but certainly not as it was then." She shrugged. "Besides… if he had… who knows what our world would like today, eh?"

True, Hermione thought. Severus had played such a big part in the fall of Voldemort. Who knew what might have been if he had never become what he was?

"You look tired, darling," Daphne said, brushing back Hermione's hair. "Why don't you take a kip? You must be exhausted. I will check in with Mum and my sisters and see if they have learned anything. I might try a few places, as well."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly sleep," Hermione protested, as a yawn escaped from her lips.

"Try," Daphne insisted. She reached for the blanket lying over the back of the sofa and spread it over Hermione. "I'm going to go now, but I'll be back later, I promise."

Hermione closed her eyes for just a moment. She did not hear Daphne disapparate as sleep quickly overtook her.

Hermione awoke several hours later. Blinking in the bright afternoon sun, she guessed it was close to or even after noon.

"Hello there," a quiet voice greeted her. Hermione rubbed her sleep-filled eyes and glanced up. Sitting across from her was an unfamiliar woman with auburn hair, a few years older than she. She was holding knitting needles and seemed to be working on what looked like a dress for a little girl.

"Hello," Hermione answered uncertainly. The woman smiled kindly at her.

The woman set aside her knitting. "I'm Phoebe Wood," the woman said. "Daphne's sister. Daphne and your friend Harry ran out and asked me to sit here in case you woke up. I hope you don't mind the intrusion."

Hermione shook her head. "Not at all," she said. "I'm sorry to be such poor company."

Phoebe smiled again. "I'm a Healer," Phoebe replied. "I'm used to my charges sleeping."

Hermione sat up. "Wood, did you say? Are you related to Oliver, as well?"

"Yes. Ollie's my husband Gareth's younger brother."

"Oh." My, thought Hermione, the Greengrass' seemed related to everyone in the Wizarding world.

"Would you like something to eat?" Phoebe asked, drawing to her feet. "I brought over sandwiches and pumpkin juice. Daphne said your fridge was rather bare."

Hermione blushed. "I'm rubbish at keeping it stocked," she admitted. "Severus usually does the shopping." Her stomach growled. "Yes, a sandwich would be lovely, thank you."

"Of course." Phoebe headed into Hermione's kitchen. Hermione raised her hands over her face and inhaled deeply, holding her breath for a count of ten, before exhaling just as slowly. She repeated the action four more times before Phoebe returned.

"That's an excellent breathing exercise if you're feeling anxious," Phoebe said encouragingly. She set a plate and a glass of pumpkin juice down in front of Hermione. "I hope you like roast beef and swiss."

"Looks delicious. Thank you," Hermione said. She lifted the plate and took a big bite. It was the first thing she had put in her mouth since Severus has disappeared. She gobbled down half the sandwich before speaking again.

"Your father told me that you, Astoria and Adrian went looking for Severus this morning," she said.

Phoebe nodded. "With no luck, unfortunately. I checked around Holyhead and Godric's Hollow before meeting Mum in Hogsmeade. There was no sign on him."

"Professor Sinistra?"

Phoebe shook her head. "Was surprised to learn Severus was going to come forward, and equally surprised to hear he disappeared."

Hermione tapped her lip. I should write this down, she thought. Wandlessly, she cast another accio and a quill and piece of parchment flew into her hand. Carefully, she wrote Godric's Hollow, Holyhead, and Hogsmeade on the parchment.

"You don't think he would have returned to the Hogwarts, do you?"

"No, I don't think so. Besides, the castle is more heavily guarded than it has ever been. It would have been impossible for him to get in there unnoticed."

Somehow, Hermione doubted that. If anyone could sneak into the castle undetected, she was sure it was Severus Snape. After some hesitation, she added Hogwarts, with a question mark.

"Do you know where Adrian and Astoria looked? And your uncle – Thomas, right?"

"Yes," Phoebe nodded again. "Thomas checked Diagon Alley, Gringotts, Knockturn Alley, and the Leaky Cauldron," she listed, counting off on her fingers. Hermione added them to her list. "Adrian looked around Ipswich and Cambridge, and Astoria checked Wiltshire." She frowned. "We doubted he'd go to the Malfoy's – he didn't seem particularly eager to reacquaint himself with them - but Tor gave the Manor a thorough once over, anyway."

Hermione added those locations, as well, as Phoebe continued.

"Aunt Vivienne checked the Ministry, and Theia has been searching for any portkey activity, but nothing has come up yet. Mum also made inquiries at St. Mungo's, but so far, nothing."

Hermione added them, as well.

"Dad has been checking with old acquaintances of his. He has not checked in yet, so I do not know how he has fared. Your friend Harry mentioned someone named Fletcher, an illegal artifacts dealer?"

Hermione nodded and added Mundungus to the list.

"Daphne went to question some of her old Housemates, as well. I expect she'll be back soon."

Hermione cocked her head. There was something in the way Phoebe had phrased her sentence that gave her pause.

"You weren't in Slytherin?" she asked the other woman.

Phoebe shook her head, smiling again. "Just Daphne and Astoria. I was a Hufflepuff, and Theia was in Ravenclaw."

Interesting, Hermione thought, if irrelevant. Still, she found herself asking, "Did you know Tonks?"

"Yes," Phoebe answered, and Hermione noticed her voice became a bit shaky. "She was a very dear friend."

"To me, too," Hermione replied quietly. And just like that, she decided that she adored Daphne's eldest sister. She picked up her sandwich and finished it off.

Daphne and Harry arrived soon after.

"No luck," Daphne said as she dropped onto the sofa beside Hermione. Spying Hermione's list, she picked it up, read it, and then reached into her pocket for a self-inking quill. She added half a dozen names to it; Zabini, Parkinson, Nott, Flint, Warrington, and Slughorn.

"Professor Slughorn?" Hermione asked.

Daphne nodded. "Tracked him down in Cookham. He hasn't heard anything."

Harry flopped into the chair next to Phoebe. Daphne handed him the list, and he made an 'x' next to Mundungus' name. "Fletcher hasn't either."

Hermione frowned at her friends. "You're not… asking people if they've seen Severus Snape, are you?" This was not what she wanted. She was desperate to find him, but she did not want them to reveal his secret to the very population he was trying to get escape.

Harry and Daphne shook their heads. "No," Harry said. "We've been asking if anyone has seen a wizard fitting his general description. Although, Mundungus did say it sounded like we were describing Professor Snape."

"As did Pansy," Daphne added with a nod. "She gave me quite an unbraiding, reminding me that our former Head of House has been dead for years, and saying I was quite insensitive for stirring up memories." She rolled her eyes and glanced at Phoebe. "She still has no idea we are related to him."

Phoebe shrugged. "I never did like her, Daphne, you know that." Phoebe stuffed her knitting into her handbag and stood up. "Hermione, it was a pleasure. I hope next time we meet, it will be for happier reasons." She nodded at Harry, and then her sister. "Please excuse me. I have to pick up the little ones from their Uncle Ollie. He was pressed into babysitting duties quite against his will."

"Send regards," Harry said, waving his hand. Phoebe nodded and disapparated.

"Did Phoebe leave sandwiches?" Daphne asked. "I'm starving."

"Roast beef and swiss," Hermione replied. "They're delicious."

"It's the mustard," Daphne said conspiratorially. She stood and looked at Harry. "Sandwich, Potter?"

"Yes, please," answered Harry.

Hermione, Harry, and Daphne spent the next couple of hours drafting a list of people and places that Severus Snape might have gone. It was only when they finished and Harry and Daphne had left for the evening that Hermione realized there was little to no chance that they would find him at any of the locales. Everything and everyone on the list had some sort of magical relevance. Severus, Hermione knew, was quite adept at living like a Muggle.

Hermione sighed and pushed the list aside. Reaching for a clean sheet of parchment, she started again.

The next few days flew by in a flurry of activity. Every morning, Harry and Daphne would pop in around eight-thirty to share breakfast and updates on their search. Harry would leave promptly at nine; Kingsley had given him a week to search for Severus, but only a week. Harry, dedicated Auror that he was, wanted to make sure he left no stone unturned.

Daphne stayed and spent the day with Hermione. After Harry would leave, the two would head to various Muggle locations around the UK Hermione thought Severus might be interested in visiting. They would return home in the evening. Over dinner, Hermione would indulge in a good long cry, while her new friend rubbed her back and did her best to cheer her up.

By Thursday, Hermione was all cried out. "Don't you have a wedding to plan?" she asked Daphne over takeaway Chinese. "You are still getting married in two and a half weeks, aren't you?"

"Of course," Daphne assured her. "But at this point, the plans are all set. All I have left to do is the seating chart. You're still coming, aren't you?"

Hermione assured her she was. Daphne had placed her at the Greengrass family table, with Phoebe on her left and an open seat for Severus on her right.

On Friday morning, Daphne arrived earlier than usual. "Daddy has heard from Severus," she announced dully.

Thank Merlin, Hermione thought. "Is he okay? Where is he?"

Daphne sighed. "No idea, other than that he is certainly outside of the UK. A parcel arrived early this morning, by international post-owl." She removed two pieces of parchment from her pocket. Wordlessly, she handed them to Hermione. The first was a letter to Julian.

Julian,

My deepest apologies for disappearing. I am, regretfully, a coward after all.

Enclosed, please find my manuscript. If you can forgive me for being the monster I am, please forward this to your publisher.

I grant my permission for you to sign off on any changes he wishes to make, excepting the dedication. My wish is for it to remain unchanged.

~ Severus

The second page was a typewritten copy of the dedication itself.

It is a fortunate man who meets someone with the ability to challenge him to succeed when he has lost his way. I dedicate this book to my dearest H.G. You inspire me, every day, in every way, even when we are parted. I love you. May we fair better in another life. – S

Hermione dropped the papers onto the coffee table. "What does this mean?" She breathed.

Daphne toyed with the ends of her blond plait. Hermione had come to learn this was her friend's nervous tick. "I don't know," she admitted.

Hermione sank into a wing chair. "He's not – you don't think,"

"Suicidal?" Daphne shook her head vigorously. "No. I don't think so." She exhaled. "I'm afraid though, that…"

"What?"

Daphne looked at her friend, her big blue eyes filled with unshed tears. "Hermione… he's left the country. I don't believe he means to return."