I felt as if someone had knocked the wind right out of my lungs. I couldn't breathe. I heard voices surrounding me but none of them sounded normal. Opie's face became clear and I realized I needed to snap out of it before I lost it. He was having a child, a real baby. Regardless on if him and Donna made it or not she would now forever be in his life. I felt my stomach start to heave but I couldn't lose it here, not in front of everyone. The tears in my eyes threatened to spill over but I shook them away as two big arms held me into place. I stared up at that gorgeous face that I have loved since I was a teenager and I felt gut wrenching pain throughout my whole body. I was losing him, maybe not in a forever kind of term. I still had an opportunity to make him mine, but now he will never be just mine. I was aware of how selfish that sounded but I couldn't help it. My fantasy image of us was shattered and lying around me. He slightly shook me and it snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Luanne, are you okay?" I took in my surroundings. Opie was merely inches from my face and Jax was hovering behind him. Gemma was on the opposite side of Jax and all of them were focused on one thing: me. I quickly smiled and even managed to giggle a little bit.

"Oh yeah I'm great, sorry I really spaced out for a minute. It just hit me that my best friend is going to be a dad," I actually managed to squeeze out that last part without choking on my own tears. Opie smiled and shook his head while looking down.

"I know I can't believe it. Its part of what I want to talk to you about. Its crazy isn't it? Um Gem can you give the three of us a few minutes?" She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a sad look. Yeah if I wasn't sure before, I was now. Gemma knew exactly how I felt about Opie.

"Sure baby," she said as she made her way over to Clay. Both of them seemed to lean into each other and whisper towards each other. Ope cleared his throat, bringing me back from my distraction.

"Well um, I'm not quite sure how to say this but uh, I've uh asked Donna to marry me. I want you guys to be apart of the wedding it would mean a lot to me." I thought the baby was bad enough news my world seemed to crumble apart around me at that moment. Nothing else seemed to matter. Jax seemed to notice this and quickly gave Ope a hug to disguise the heartbreak my face held.

"Ya know Faith, you would look super sexy in a tux," he said lightly elbowing me. I chuckled but my heart wasn't into it. I was glad that Jax was so in tuned with my emotions because he spoke so I didn't have too. "Congrats Ope, I guess you know what that means Faye, to the bar we go!"

I sat at the bar, tossing back a total of three jager bombs before I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. Instead of actually going there, I made my way to Jax's dorm room. I wanted to go to Opie's but I was worried I would run into Donna or something so my choice was already made. The absolute last thing I wanted was to see Donna right now. I walked over to Jax's bed and plopped down. My world was spinning and sadly it wasn't from the jager. Maybe I should have drank more, I shrugged my shoulders. For once, I highly doubted that alcohol was going to help my current mood. My best friend, my secret love of my life, was getting married and having a child. What was I going to do? I never have felt heartbreak like this before. I just thought maybe one day he would open up his eyes and see how freaking amazing I was and we would live happily ever after. Why couldn't things be like that? Maybe I should have opened my mouth, things would have been different. He would have been in love with me and not her and this would be my life. I was going to march in there right now and tell him. What he did with it was his business. I stood up just as Jax's door opened. He stumbled in, I'm not sure if it was from being drunk or just because the door sticks. He looked up at me and his smile could have been plastered on his face it was so big. He made his way over to the bed and plopped down belly first next to me.

"Well you look like a big ray of freakin' sunshine." I rolled my eyes at his obvious sense of sarcasm. Of course I was a big ray of sunshine. I had really just lost the love of my life.

"I couldn't be better Mister Teller," I said with a mock southern accent. He chuckled and sat up and threw his arm over my shoulder.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe he's not the guy for you Faye." My stomach lurched and I thought I was going to puke all over him. How could he say that to me knowing just how much I love Ope. Jax was my best friend and I felt like he was betraying me.

"How can you even say that? It was you that told me that the heart wants what it wants." He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag.

"Yeah I did, but you had to know this would happen eventually Faye." The tears that threatened to spill earlier now ran freely down my cheeks. In some sick twisted way I knew he was right, and that hurt just as much as the revelation tonight.

"You're right I did, but that doesn't make it hurt any less Jax." He nodded, blowing out a mouthful of smoke. Yeah because his smoking totally added to my feeling awesome let me tell you I thought while I rolled my eyes.

"I know it hurts, but maybe its for the best." I felt the sadness overwhelm me as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"It shouldn't be like this Jax," I said as I wiped my face on his shoulder. I know, the most attractive thing ever right? He didn't seem to mind. After I was done with the sob fest he pulled me in closer.

"I hope you find who you're looking for Luanne, you deserve it. You're beautiful, smart and you have one of the best personalities I have ever been around. If Opie doesn't see all of those things he is a fool." That had to be one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me only something felt very weird about it. I couldn't quite explain it but it was definitely something. I looked up to face him and I was met with his lips on mine. His kiss was warm and soft yet fast and hard all at the same time. I was so confused.

a/n: sorry for the long wait. i wasnt quite sure how i wanted to end this chapter and i felt this was a good enough end lol let me know what you think