I was more thankful than hurt that Jax dropped me off and left without another word. I was still pretty stunned by his words, but torn at the same time. It was what I wanted right? I didn't want to mess up our friendship so why was this bothering me so much? I stood on my porch and watched him pull away. Granted, I couldn't really see his expression from here but I knew he was at ease, even with a million troubles on those big shoulders of his. There was no place in the whole world that made Jax happier than on his Harley. I sat down on my porch swing and let the day's events take hold of me. I woke up in Jax's arms and was really enjoying myself until Opie walked in, which really blew my mind. Jax told me that Ope had a spazz attack over seeing me with him, which not going to lie it made me feel smug. I'm glad he was jealous. He deserves it after making me jealous so many times and just for the record he was getting married. There's no room for jealousy when it comes to someone else when you're about to commit your life to someone...unless. Maybe he really did still have feelings for me. I jumped off of the swing and stood with a goofy grin on my face. My stomach started to flip. That would be amazing, we would finally have our chance, only I would always have to deal with Donna because of the baby. I slumped back down on the swing. Why couldn't things be easier? Didn't I deserve happiness? I looked out into the driveway and sighed. I really wish I could call Jax and talk to him about it. He'd tell me what to do. I just wish things with us wasn't so complicated right now. With everything going on I feel like I need him now more than ever and a little kiss seemed to put a big damper on that. Not to mention I was confused with how I'm feeling about everything right now. I mean I was just praying a few nights ago that he hadn't meant to kiss me and now that he admitted that he didn't I was down in the dumps. I still hadn't quite dealt with the entire Opie-Donna situation and now I'm tangled up with feelings about Jax. I needed to heal properly from the sorta loss of my first love, only right now I wasn't so sure it was a loss. I'm still holding on to the fact that we might still have a chance and it was eating me up. The front door opened bringing me out of my thoughts. My mom stood leaned against the door frame, studying me. I quickly threw on a peppy smile and looked up to meet her eyes to at least look sincere.

"You doing okay baby?" I nodded and stood up quickly. I made my way over to her and gave her a hug. She held me for a minute and her smell seemed to wrap around me. My eyes watered up and threatened to spill over but I stopped it real quick. I felt the urge to spill everything to her in that moment but I bit my tongue. She doesn't need my drama added to her already hectic day with work.

"Yeah mom I'm great. I was actually just thinking about how exactly to throw a baby shower." She arched her eyebrow at me and I laughed.

"Jax?" I shook my head and laughed somemore . Leave it to my mom to assume that Jax would be the first one of our tight knit group to have a child, then again the way he was with women I could see it too.

"Actually no, its Opie." From the looks of it, my mother's eyebrow was going to permanently stay on her face like that. She just stared at me for a few minutes and then shook her head.

"I figured he would be smarter than that but it happens. A baby is a wonderful gift from above sweetheart don't ever forget that. Now I came out here to tell you that there's someone on the phone for you." My face must have lit up with my smile. Only three people have my house phone number and that's Jax, Gemma, and Opie and to be honest hearing from either of my best friend would be wonderful. I ran towards the phone and picked it up just as I heard my mom say, "and for once its a girl." My heart sank. If she would have told me this prior I wouldn't have ran.

"What's up Gemma?" There was silence and then there was laughter. I looked at the phone confused. Okay that was weird, maybe she's high? I don't know.

"Actually, it isn't Gemma. Its Donna, Ope gave me the number I hope its okay that I called." Great just what I wanted, to talk to the love of my life's fiance/baby mama. I wedged the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I began to pick at the beds of my nails.

"Yeah its cool I guess, I'm just surprised he gave my number out. So what's up?" Was this going to be a thing now? Her calling me out of the blue because I don't know if my poor heart can take it.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch with me and go shopping for a little bit?." I smacked myself in the forehead. Great just great , because this is just what I wanted. How do I say no and not sound like a bitch? How about go yo hell you demon spawn? I grinned and to be honest it probably looked like Goob's smile from meet the robinsons. Yeah in my spare time I'm an evil genius so what? How I wish that were true. I realize I had been silent longer than it was socially allowed so I spoke.

"We could do that. When do you want to go?"

"Now preferably. Its going to take me ten minutes to get dressed and then maybe five to get to you. Does that sound good? Can we meet at the clubhouse this time and next time I'll pick you up at your house? " I mouthed fuck my life to no one at all and layer my forehead lightly against the wall by the phone.

"Sounds good, see you soon." I turned around and blushed when I noticed my mother had probably watched my whole conversation. She was leaned up against the kitchen entry way with a smug smile on her face. I had been caught being less than ecxited talking to Donna. I smiled sheepishly as I hung up the phone.

"Hey mom," I said with a smile. I was trying to lay on the niceness with my mother thickly, hoping to avoid an argument.

"So what did that girl ever do to you?" I shrugged again. It was very complicated to explain. How do I tell her than I mainly hate her because of my circumstance. She would just lecture means I'd pretend to agree with her and who would that help anyway? Exactly no one.

"Uhm well that's Ope"s fiancé/baby's mother. She wants to hang out and well yeah." Mom just shook her head.

"A conversation for another day I guess. Please attempt to have fun. You need female friends too don't forget that." I nodded and hugged her as I ran past.

I went upstairs and quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and slipped them on. It would be nice if I could just wear Jax's pajamas but sometimes cuteness had to come before comfort. I ran to my closet and started scanning through every I owned until I spotted my light green 'more than just a pretty face...I've got a great ass too!' t shirt. I quickly changed shirts and put on my deodorant and then went to work on my make up. I'll admit I looked okay, not smoking hot like the other night but okay. For once I was fine with that. I gave myself one last once over and sighed. You can do this. She's just a girl, even if she is Opie's girl you can still be cordial. Let's do this. I walked downstairs and mom was sitting at the table reading the paper. I cleared my throat and she looked up from her paper with a smile.

"Hey mom, can I borrow the car for a few hours to go hang out with Donna?" She nodded and indicated the keys on the counter.

"Just be back before I have to go into work at two." I stared at the clock, it was a few minutes past eleven. I could stay for an hour maybe two with Donna and that would be acceptable. To make it even better I had a valid reason for leaving. Score one for Faith. I walked over to the counter and grabbed the keys and then made my way over to mom and kissed the top of her head.

"Thanks mom, I'll be back in plenty of time for you to go to work. I love you." She called out an I love you too as I neared the front door. I took a deep breath and walked out of it. Here goes nothing.

I made it to the clubhouse in eight minutes. I got out of my car and walked over to the picnic tables and was surprised by the sight I seen. Jax and Tara were sitting there talking but it didn't seem like a friendly conversations so I turned around and started walking back towards my car when I heard him raise his voice.

"Charming is my home Tara. Our home at that, I can't just leave it." I froze. What exactly were they talking about? She said something quietly so I couldn't really hear it but I heard his response.

"You know this is all I ever wanted. I thought it was enough for you. I love you don't you see that?" I hurried the rest of the way to my car and leaned up against it. She's trying to take him! Where I don't exactly know but is he going to go? Why does she want to leave? The first question repeated its self in my head. Is he going to go? I felt my heart drop to my stomach and I got the strong urge I was going to puke. I bent over just in case as Donna pulled up and rolled down the window of her beat up Honda.

"You ready to go?"

a/n: sooooooo new chapter, I'm kinda fond of the twist with Tara trying to take Jax with her when she leaves what about you guys? Let me know what you think. I can't believe there's only two episodes left I'm going to cry I think especially with this mayhem vote coming they can't kill Jax! BTW do any of my readers watch the walking dead? If so I'm still in shock over last nights episode well as always review or just pm me and let me know what thou think u guys are the best