Thank you for your continued support. I appreciate it.
Standard disclaimer.
I hadn't meant to doze off, but somewhere between watching Hilary remodeling an old farmhouse and David showing a peculiarly picky couple houses on HGTV, I'd fallen asleep on my side, with my back curled against Sam's front.
I'd never fallen asleep on a couch with a guy before.
It seemed like such a simple thing, I imagined millions of people took it for granted, but it was something entirely new for me.
At first, I wasn't sure what woke me up. But I blinked open my eyes, confused.
There was an infomercial on TV, selling the newest Bowflex machine, so I stared at it for a moment.
Seconds from drifting back to sleep, I felt Sam jerked behind me and my heart jumped at the unexpected movement.
His arm was lax under me, I noticed, but when I looked over my shoulder, I could see the tension practically pouring off him.
He was on his side, but his face was turned up to the ceiling.
His jaw was locked in a tight, hard line and his brows were furrowed.
And every couple of seconds, his thick lashes would twitch.
I saw his lips moved, the words silent, but his chest rose with a sudden, ragged, and broken breath.
"Sam?" I whispered, but he didn't hear me.
His chest rose again, this time, the breathing more rapid.
I twisted onto my other side, facing him, and pressed my hand on his chest.
He jolted away, his gaze fixed on the ceiling, and for a moment, he looked so far away, as if he wasn't even aware of where he was.
Seconds ticked by and then he turned his head towards me. Immediately, his expression relaxed.
"Hey," he murmured.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
He swallowed.
"Yeah."
I didn't really believe him.
"You sure?"
His arm curved around me, as he tucked me against his side.
"Yeah, sweets, everything is fine." As he threaded his fingers through my hair and guided my cheek to his chest, he sighed deeply. "Everything is good now."
"You got some this weekend."
I nearly choked on my soda as I looked up.
San slid into the booth across from me, a bright pink-checkered bandanna wrapped around her head.
Her off the shoulder, fuzzy blue sweater, looked like it had it out with a bedazzler and lost the battle.
She wasn't alone.
Marley sat down next to her. She'd come back into town yesterday morning and had worked at the bar last night.
Grinning, she tugged her blond hair up into a ponytail.
I remembered, when I first met her, she'd always kept her hair down to hide the scar. Not so much anymore.
Ignoring San's somewhat astute comment, I nodded at Marley.
"I'm surprised Ryder let you out of his house to have breakfast."
"He knows better than to get between me and food and my friends."
Flipping open the menu, she raised delicately arched brows at me.
"So, is San right? You get some?"
San grinned.
"I'm always right."
I rolled my eyes, as I sat back against the booth.
Sam had fallen back asleep, after what I guessed was a nightmare, and I'd taken him home yesterday morning.
Before he'd climbed out of my car, he'd leaned over and kissed me.
Just thinking about that scalding kiss, made me want to fan myself, and then it made me think of what I'd watched him do.
Goodness, I needed a cold shower.
He worked the night shift last night, and I figured he was probably sleeping right now.
Right before I got off last night, he had texted me a quick message, telling me to let him know when I got home, and I did.
The request was...cute, like he was thinking of me, and it made me feel all girlie.
"Your face looks flushed and you have that look," Marley pointed out, eyes narrowing. "Come on, fess up."
The waitress saved me for a few minutes, while she took our orders.
San ordered half the diner, going for every version of bacon and sausage they had. Sometimes, I wonder, where all that food goes.
"I need my protein," she said, as Marley and I gaped at her. "Dancing and climbing a pole is one hell of a workout. You guys should try it."
I giggled.
"No thanks."
She rolled her sable-colored eyes.
"You guys are no fun." She twisted towards Marley. "When is Suzy coming back up? She wanted to learn how to shake it, until she breaks it."
"I think she and Hunter are coming up with me, in a few weekends."
Marley smiled, as the waitress returned with two coffees and a fresh soda for me. Then, she pinned me with a look.
"Did you and Sam hook up?"
"What?"
At the same time, San answered,
"Yes."
I shot her a baleful look.
"How do you know if we hooked up? Were you hiding in my house?"
"I know things," she replied. "I know lots of things. And you totally just assumed that I'd be hiding in your house, which means, something of the fleshy kind went down in your house."
Marley propped her elbows on the table.
"And Ryder told me, Sam came in on his night off and waited for you to get off. That you drove him home."
"Ryder gossips like a thirteen-year-old girl," I retorted, but I wasn't upset with their line of questioning.
I was glad both girls could do breakfast this morning, because, I really, really needed to talk to them.
A moment passed and then I leaned forward, unable to keep quiet about it a second longer.
"Okay. We kind of did hook up Friday night. We didn't have sex, but..."
I trailed off, recalling those early-morning hours. I could see him now, his hand wrapped around...
"All right, you guys definitely did something of the fun and naughty kind, based on the way, you suddenly look like, you just took a hit of ecstasy," San said.
Marley clapped and bounced in her seat.
"For real? Okay, girl, I'm happy for you, because, San is right, you look like you just slipped into a sex coma."
"Something you know a lot about," I said under my breath.
She rubbed her nose with her middle finger, and I giggled.
"But you wouldn't even talk to him just a few weeks ago. Every time he walked in or even looked in your direction, you bailed. I've always known something was up between you two, but I'm confused as to what is going on here," Marley said.
I gave a wobbly smile.
"Well, it's a long story."
"Since I ordered half a pig, we have time," San replied.
"And you guys are going to think I'm a terrible person," I said.
"Doubtful," Marley reassured me.
I wasn't so sure about that, but I hadn't told a soul, except Kurt, about what had gone down between Sam and me, including the huge misunderstanding.
I took a deep breath and then, I told them everything about the night with Sam, pausing long enough, for our food to be delivered.
"So, yeah, that's where I'm at, with everything," I finished, as I cut the rest of my waffle into tiny squares, and dipped them into the syrup on the side.
Marley stared at me, a piece of extra-crispy bacon dangling from her fingertips.
Even San gaped at me, which was saying something, if I managed to shock her into any realm of silence.
I shrunk back against the booth, feeling sheepish and crappy.
"I'm a terrible person, aren't I?"
"No," Marley said immediately. "You're not a terrible person."
"Wait!"
San held up one hand.
Somehow, a thick piece of sausage had made it to her fingers.
"So, let me make sure I have this correct. You've basically been in love with Sam since you were fifteen."
"I wouldn't say in love," I muttered, but my heart thumped.
"Whatever. I know you're in love with him," she insisted.
I didn't protest it, because, I figured it would end up with a discussion, about her super-stripper powers.
"Anyway, you've been in love with him, but he always treated you like the annoying kid next door."
My eyes narrowed on her.
"I wouldn't say he treated me like the annoying kid next door either."
She ignored me.
"He finally starts treating you like the hot chick that you are, he comes to the bar one night, gets shitfaced, but because you're madly, deeply, and irrevocably in love with him and because you're a girl, you don't realize he's shitfaced."
My eyes narrowed further on her.
"You two go to his house, because, he asked for a ride for his drunk ass. Things get hot and heavy an you see his sausage."
She waved the sausage she held, and Marley made a choking sound, as she reached for her coffee.
"You guys make out all the way back to his bedroom, where he passes out. Am I following this so far?"
"Yeah." I folded my arms. "Kind of."
San nodded sagely, and I had no idea what she was being sage about.
"First off, that's lame of him to get that freaking drunk, so he gets a cool point taken from him."
"Cool point?" Marley asked and turned wide eyes on her. "We're still adding and taking away cool points?"
I snickered.
"In my world, we are," San replied, and then she bit into the sausage, chewing thoughtfully for a moment. "So he passes out, you stay with him, and then he wakes up, thinks you guys had sex and is apologetic and regretful?"
Nodding, I popped a piece of waffle into my mouth.
"And you thought he regretted having sex with you," Marley tossed in. "But he regretted getting so drunk and having sex with you?"
"Yep."
San shook her head, as she picked up the salt and dumped it on her half-eaten sausage.
"But you two didn't have sex."
"No. And I started to tell him that, when he first made the assumption, but he was so damn sorry about it all, that I thought he was talking about the actual sex."
"And that hurt your feelings," Marley said gently. "That's understandable. I probably would've thought the same thing."
"But you could've cleared it up right then," San pointed out.
"No shit," I replied. "But I didn't. I was so embarrassed and...yeah, my feelings were hurt. So, I left his place and so much time passed, and I was still all butt sore about it, that I never cleared it up."
San finished off the sausage and then moved onto the smaller links.
"And Fish Lips has this thing with lying? That's not good."
I pinned her with a bland look.
She leaned forward, waving the link around like a wand.
"Look, I totally get why you haven't said anything. It's like telling one little lie and then telling another little lie, to cover that one and so on. Then it all builds up. I get that. A lot of time has passed and how would you explain what really happened? Hey Sam, would you like to play with my tits? Oh, by the way, we never had sex."
Marley almost choked again.
"That sounds like an awkward conversation."
I sighed, as I pushed my plate away from me.
"I do feel terrible. I wish I'd pulled my head out of my ass long enough to give him a chance, to explain why he reacted that way. I wish I'd just told him the truth."
"He ain't completely innocent in all of this," San argued. "Remember, he was so drunk, he thought he had sex. I've drunk a lot in my day. A lot. Like so much, I'm pretty sure I've turned into a brewery, but I've never been so drunk, that I didn't know if I had sex."
Marley nodded, as she poked at her scrambled eggs.
"True."
Neither had I ever drunk that much, but that was beside the point.
Taking a sip of my soda, my shoulders sank, as the weight of the situation settled on them.
I straightened my glasses, and said,
"I really like him, guys. I really do."
"Duh." San rolled her eyes. "You're in love with him."
I ignored that comment, because, love was a scary four-letter word.
"He's a good guy, a really good guy. And you remember the last dude I kind of seriously dated?" I asked San.
She wrinkled her nose.
"Before Sean the ginger?"
"Oh my God," Marley murmured, stifling her giggle with the back of her hand.
I shook my head and then took a drink.
"Yes. Remember Robbie, the..."
"The really nice guy who took you to the Eagles game and you totally got with him in the parking garage, but he turned out to be married?" San supplied happily.
My lips pressed together.
"No. That was Raymond the fucker and thanks for reminding me about him. He also had a kid he never told me about. I was talking about Robbie the starving artist, who stole my jewelry my grandma left me."
Marley blinked several times.
"Wow. A married guy and a thief?"
"I normally don't attract the greatest people," I said.
The thing was, I knew I dated guys like that for a reason. They were safe.
"But Sam is not like them, and a part of me..." I let out a slow breath. "I have spent years lusting after him."
'Liar! You know it's something stronger than that.'
I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
What was I even doing?
I just needed to tell him the truth. And let this thing between us die, before I got burned big time, but I couldn't not try with him.
Not after all these years of wanting him.
God, I sounded like I had a split personality.
Go after him. Don't go after him. Tell him the truth. Don't say anything. I was giving myself whiplash.
"You need to tell him the truth," Marley advised. "As soon as possible. But I wouldn't worry about it too much."
I arched my brows at her.
"Seriously," she insisted. "It's not like you lied about something major."
"I think, not telling him we didn't have sex is pretty major."
"Not really." She smiled at me. "Trust me, there are worse lies out there. It's not like you lied about being with someone else, while with him or anything like that. He'll understand. Right, San?"
San watched me, pouty lips turned down at the corners.
Marley elbowed her, frowning.
"Right, Santana?"
Frost coated my insides, as San's eyes clouded over.
"I don't know, Chica. Tell the truth before he gets in those pants of yours for real. If you don't, I think you've gone too far."
Agreeing, I nodded slowly.
The same dread I experienced the first time, I realized I needed to tell Sam what really happened, returned.
Marley cleared her throat.
"It'll be okay."
"She's right," San agreed, stabbing her last link with her fork. "Besides, you broke Patrick Karofsky's window and Sam still gave you an orgasm. You'll probably get an even better one out of this."
Smacking my palm off my forehead, I groaned.
"Oh God. Who doesn't know about that?"
"No one, honey." San bit off half the link. "Absolutely no one."
Marley and I watched San speed out of the parking lot in her Mini Cooper, almost clipping a minivan, that had a Baby On Board bumper sticker, but when the van parked, an elderly couple climbed out.
"You're really not going to hold a séance, are you?" Marley asked.
I laughed loudly.
I'd told them about the strange things happening in my apartment. Luckily neither of them thought I was crazy, or that I was weird, for thinking that my place may be haunted.
Of course, San had lots of ideas of how to address the strange happenings, and one of them, was by calling someone in town, who supposedly communed with spirits and could host a séance.
"Ah, you know, I don't think that will be a great idea," I said, grinning. "If there really is a ghost roaming around, it hasn't tried to scare me. In a way, it's been strangely helpful."
Marley snorted.
"I bet more people would like to have a ghost like that."
"And the whole idea of séance or allowing a psychic in the house...I don't know. If that's what it really is, I don't want to know what's there. As long as I don't wake up in the middle of the night and find it staring at me, then I'm cool with it."
"Oh my God." She shuddered. "That's so creepy." There was a pause. "But what if it isn't a ghost?"
"What else could it be? Seriously, though? Unless I have people living under my stairs, like in that creepy eighties movie, it's either a ghost or I'm losing my mind."
"You're not crazy." She squinted. "But maybe, you should have Sam take a look at your place. Or Ryder?"
Yeah, I could picture both of guys, never letting me live it down, if I told them I thought I had a ghost in my house.
"So, how long are you going to be up here?" I asked, changing the subject, as I leaned against my car.
"My morning class is cancelled tomorrow, so I'm going to head back then," Marley replied.
She glanced up at the overcast skies. The scent of rain was thick in the air.
"Which is probably a good thing, since I think, they're calling for pretty bad storms today."
I slipped my glasses on, smiling when I didn't see any smudges or spots.
"You and Ryder got anything planned for today?" I asked.
"I think we're just going to hang out at his place." She twisted a length of hair between her hands, as she shrugged. "What about you and Sam?"
"I don't think we have anything planned. It's weird. I don't know if we're dating, or if we're just...hooking up. He texted me last night, asking me to let him know when I got home and I did that."
I folded my arms, pursing my lips.
"So I really don't know."
"Well, you just text him, invite him over, if he doesn't have to work and just keep it casual," she offered, and then laughed softly. "Honestly, I'm the last person who should be giving you advice, when it comes to this."
"No." I reached out and squeezed her arm. "You obviously know what you're doing. You hooked a guy like Ryder."
Her cheeks flushed and she laughed again, as she propped her hip against the passenger door.
"You know damn well I had no idea what I was doing, when it came to him."
I grinned. Marley had indeed been pretty clueless.
"True."
"But you know, I think it's always like that, when you really like someone. It was the same with Suzy and Hunter. Liking someone makes us stupid. That's what I'm going with."
"Sounds accurate," I said.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I forgot to ask you last night. Who got you the roses? They are beautiful."
Feeling creeped out by the roses, since I assumed they were from Sean, I'd left them in the office.
Now, that room smelled like a florist shop.
"You know, if they're not from Sean, I have no idea."
She arched a brow.
"You really think they're from him?"
I shrugged.
"I guess so."
"What did it say?"
"Something like, next time will be better," I told her, frowning. "Weird, huh?"
She nodded, as she pushed off the car.
"Maybe the flowers were meant for someone else, if they weren't from Sean."
"I don't know. They had my name on it. Maybe it was just a mistake."
Marley smiled, reached down and gave me a hug.
"I've got to run, but I'll call you later, okay?"
I waved good-bye, then climbed into my car and drove off.
On the way home, I was surprised when Denny called.
Since it was Sunday, I wasn't expecting to hear from him, but cops didn't work normal Monday-through-Friday schedules.
He told me Karofsky had gotten an estimate for the windshield damages and it was going to cost a couple of hundred to fix.
I groaned, thinking of how much I had in my savings account, which wasn't a lot at all.
But this was my bed I made, so I had to roll around in it and pick up more web design to make back the cash.
When I got home, I was halfway across the sidewalk, when the sky ripped open and rain pelted me, soaking me in seconds.
Squeaking, I dashed up to the porch.
My wet sandals hit the floorboards, and I slipped. Arms wheeling like a windmill, my purse hit the porch and I lost my balance.
I was so going down.
Before I crashed, the entrance door swung open and a blur shot across the porch.
Strong arms caught me around the waist and jerked me up.
The sudden impact against something hard and dry, knocked my glasses off my face and punched a grunt out of me.
For a moment, the only thing that moved was my pounding heart.
"You okay?" asked a low-pitched male voice.
Lifting my head, all I could make out through the curtain of my dark hair, was a guy with blonde hair. Definitely not my neighbor, who had coal-black hair cut short.
"I'm so okay. Thank you for...um, catching me."
Feeling like an idiot, I pushed my hair out of my face, and got a good look at the guy.
His face was vaguely familiar...cheeks a little round, with a nose that was slightly crooked, obviously broken many years ago.
His eyes were a dark brown and sharp. Intelligent eyes.
And he was still holding me by the waist.
Geez.
Stepping back, I laughed awkwardly as he dropped his arms.
"Sorry about that. Usually I don't almost kill myself, when I try to walk on to the porch."
A tight-lipped smile formed on his face.
"That's good to know. Wait," he said, as I started to step to the side and reach for my purse.
I froze, while he swooped down, snatching up both my purse and my glasses.
"You almost stepped on these."
Double geez.
"Thank you again." I took them and smiled. Tucking my dripping hair back behind my ears, I squinted up at him. "I don't think we've met."
The tight smile expanded, flashing a little of white teeth.
"I'm Kip Cavanaugh. I live upstairs. I actually moved in a couple of months ago."
"Oh!" I exclaimed. "That's why I thought you looked familiar."
"You thought so. How come?" Surprise colored his tone.
I nodded.
"Yeah, I must've caught a glimpse of you coming or going or something. Anyway, I'm glad we finally got to meet."
"Same here."
He glanced out towards the street. Rain was coming down so hard, I could barely see my car parked along the curb.
"Well, I've got to go." He pulled out a set of keys from his pocket, as he sidestepped me. "It was good meeting you."
I turned to my door and wiggled my fingers at him.
"Same here."
He hesitated at the top of the steps.
"Be careful, Mercedes."
Unlocking the door, I pushed it open, as I sent him a smile over my shoulder.
"You, too. Don't get washed away."
He was already racing down the sidewalk, as I stepped inside, closing the door behind me.
Dropping my purse in the recliner, I stopped in the middle of the living room and frowned.
Wait. He knew my name. I didn't think I'd told him what my name was.
A knot of unease formed a tiny ball in my belly.
How did he...?
Okay. I was being stupid. My neighbor or his girlfriend...even the Figgins' could've told him my name.
I needed to stop being an idiot.
Glancing at my purse, I also needed to stop being a baby and text Sam. But first, I needed sweet tea.
After making myself a glass, I flipped on the TV and turned it to the HGTV channel.
Property Brothers marathon for the win.
Grabbing my cell out of my purse, I took it with me to my studio room.
No sooner had I headed down the hall, the phone rang, while I held it.
I glanced down and cursed, when I saw that it was Sean. Part of me wanted to hit the reject button, but I forced myself to answer the phone.
"Hello?" My voice sounded as flat as a sheet of paper.
There was a beat.
"Mercy?"
I rolled my eyes. Who else could it be?
He called me, and I answered.
As soon as those thoughts wrapped up, I felt bad. Sean hadn't done anything wrong.
"Yeah, it's me. I'm getting ready to..." I looked around the room frantically, trying to come out with an excuse. "...to...take a shower."
I winced. God, I sucked.
Sean laughed softly in my ear.
"Well, thank you for planting those images in my head," he said, and I cringed. "I don't want to keep you. I just wanted to know if you were free tonight?"
"Sean," I sighed, wanting to bang my head off a wall. Instead, I pushed my glasses up to the top of my head. "I actually do have plans tonight..."
"What about tomorrow?"
I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes.
"Sean, I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in a second..."
"I know we didn't have the greatest first date, but I think we hit it off," he insisted, and in my mind, I could almost see him blinking as he spoke. "And I think if we have another date..."
"I'm seeing someone else," I blurted out, and that wasn't a lie. Not really.
His inhale was heard through the phone.
"What? Since when?"
"I'm sorry. You're a great guy. It's nothing personal..."
"What the fuck, Mercy?"
My eyes popped opened, as I pushed off the wall, stiffening.
I'd never heard him cuss before. Not that I had sensitive sensibilities, but hearing him talk like that was jarring.
"You've been seeing someone else?" he charged on. "Don't you think you could've told me that in the beginning? I wouldn't have wasted my time with a slut."
"Whoa. Yeah, that's not okay. Fuck off," I said, and then hit the end-call button.
My skin crawled, as if a dozen fire ants were climbing all over me.
I was so angry, my head was going to spin.
It took several minutes for me to calm down enough, to walk into my studio.
The plastic-like scent of the watercolors and the cedar brushes tickled my nose, as I nudged the door open.
I breathed in deeply, letting the fumes that might irritate someone else, relax me, and push away all thoughts of Sean.
Some of my favorite paintings hung on the walls.
And directly below them, were magazine clippings, words and phrases, I've found over the years, that I'd thought matched the paintings.
Placing the tea and cell phone on a small table by the door, I shuffled over to the easel, as I pulled out a hair tie.
My steps slowed, and I stopped in front of the easel, as I tugged my wet hair up into a quick ponytail.
Wait a minute.
Lowering my hands, I clenched my fingers, as I stared at the easel.
When I pulled off the painting I had completed on Friday, to take to Kurt, I hadn't replaced the canvas, and I hadn't had time Saturday to do anything.
Come to think of it, I hadn't even stepped foot in my studio yesterday.
But a blank piece of canvas was stretched onto the frame, sitting on the easel.
Cocking my head to the side, I retraced the last forty-eight hours.
Was it possible that I had done that when I finished the last painting?
It was possible.
I did things a lot, that I didn't realize I was doing out of habit, but I was pretty positive I hadn't done this.
I thought about the remote in the fridge, the dishwasher, the toilet seat and so on...
I really needed the Ghostbusters.
Then again, this ghost has been super helpful...creepy but helpful.
Turning from the canvas, I shook out my shivers, as a chill snaked its way down my spine.
My gaze fell to the cell phone.
Forcing myself over to it, I picked it up and tapped on the message icon.
Just holding the phone and opening Sam's last text, got my heart pumping ridiculously fast.
Texting a guy was not a big deal.
Texting a guy who'd seen my boobs and had gotten me off shouldn't be hard.
Texting a guy I really, really liked, was scary as hell.
I texted Sam a quick hello, before I wussed out and then dropped the phone on the table, like it was a snake.
Then, I felt like an ass, because, he was probably still asleep.
Hurrying away from the phone, I had just grabbed my stool, when I heard it ding.
My stomach dropped.
"Oh God," I whispered, turning around. The screen was lit up from a message. "I'm being such an idiot."
I made my way back to the phone.
As expected, the text was from Sam.
Seven words...only seven words...and my lips split into a giant, goofy smile.
SAM: Hey babe, was just thinking of u.
Clutching the phone, I took several deep breaths.
MERCEDES: I was thinking of u too.
My cheeks heated, because, my response sounded so corny, when his was all swoony.
The reply was almost immediate.
SAM: Of course u were.
I laughed at his cockiness and felt my stomach dip again, because, I knew what I had to do. I needed to talk to him before any of this went further.
Before I could respond, another text came through.
SAM: I really was just thinking about u. Guess what I was doing while I was thinking about u?
My eyes widened as I responded.
MERCEDES: Oh my.
There was a pause.
SAM: Is that too real to admit that?
'No.' I shook my head and replied.
MERCEDES: No.
SAM: Good. Glad to know u don't think I'm a pervert.
MERCEDES: Says you. I still thin pervert.
SAM: A hot one at least?
I laughed out loud at that.
MERCEDES: Definitely a hot one.
I waited a whole second and then texted,
MERCEDES: I think my house is haunted.
SAM: What?
My face heated, and I wished I could somehow un-send that text.
MERCEDES: Never mind. I'm being stupid. Are u free tonight?
There was a pause before his response, which caused my stomach to twist.
SAM: Got to work 2night, but I'm all yours 2morrow if u'll have me.
MERCEDES: Is that a joke?
I typed back. Doing that stupid smile thing. I allowed myself a hobble and a shimmy, before I added,
MERCEDES: Tomorrow would be perfect.
We exchanged a couple more texts, deciding on meeting at my place around seven in the evening.
He was going to bring food, and maybe I should go get some wine, since I was probably going to need some liquid courage, in case it went bad, to drown my tears in.
Stay safe!