I watched as he pulled out of my driveway and I silently prayed that he was truly okay. I hoped I had helped ease his mind some but I don't know. He seemed to bounce back pretty fast. I sure didn't bounce back so quickly after I found out Opie was having a child. Hell I was still emotionally wounded over him being in love with someone else. I still got to see him though, even if he didn't love me. It still hurt like hell regardless. Jax would never see Tara again and yet he left out of here smiling. I know its not that easy. He really loved her. I just can't fathom the reason that she would leave him. He did everything for her and yet she still left. It just goes to show you that no matter how much you can love someone, if its not working for them there's nothing you can do. It would absolutely devastate me to be that crazy over someone and then they disappear out of thin air. I blew my hair out of my face. What in the hell am I going to do? He's hurting badly but refuses to show it. How can I help him if he doesnt want to be helped? I don't want to force myself on him but how else can I can I make him talk to me. I just don't want him burying his emotions. It'll just blow up on him and probably when he's in the middle of some shit. I can't have him dying because his head is not clear. I shook my head as if to shake out the thoughts like cobwebs. If I don't do anything else today, I was not going to picture Jax dead. That's at least a promise I can try to keep.

I found myself in my room, looking through my clothes. I wasn't quite sure when I made the decision to go to the clubhouse but here I was digging through my clothes to find something to wear. Maybe it was a good thing I decided to go. I would know first hand how Jax was doing and I would stop panicking over the sounds of car doors. I was terrified my mom was going to come home early. I knew that if she seen my face, regardless of how tired she was, I wasn't going to hear the end of it. Hell she might just forbid me to go to the clubhouse and that wasn't what I wanted. And really how was I goimg to explain what happened if she did see my face. The "i fell" excuse is so played out. I couldn't tell her I was wasted. That will go over so well. If i tried to tell her I had gotten into a fight , I really wouldn't be able to go anywhere. To make it worse I know she'd place blame on Jax and Ope. They didn't do a good job protecting me. I rolled my eyes. Yeah so my mind is made up; to the clubhouse I go! So needless to say, I couldn't risk my mom seeing my face and to be quite honest, I wanted to see the damage Happy had done to Kyle's face. I wanted to see just how extreme of a job someone who barely knew me had done in my defense. Though I probably should just take Jax and Opie's word for it. They've never been ones to exaggerate. They both seemed to describe it as gory. Yeah I'm a weirdo, I want to see some guy's face smashed in. To be honest, I don't think the urge to go and see someone's face in total destruction would be so bad if it wasn't Kyle. Who in the hell was I lying to? I have always been a sucker to watch a good fight and hanging around the clubhouse there always was one.

I walked out of my bedroom and made my way towards my house phone. I realized as I picked up the phone that I had no one to call. Jax had just left and I was really trying to surprise him. Opie was probably working at the shop or with Donna and it would only spark up rumors is I called Happy. So I swallowed so hard it made a loud gulp noise and went through my caller id. Donna's name lit up on the screen and I hit the call button. Here goes nothing.

"Hello?" She answered cheerfully on the other end. I leaned my forehead against the wall. I like this girl so why was it so hard to ask her to pick me up. Oh yeah probably because she was shacked up with the love of my life. Well in all fairness, he's probably the love of hers too.

"Hey its Faith, I uh..."

"Oh my god Hi Faith! How are you doing? I'm really surprised you called. I didn't expect to ever hear from you again." She cut me off mid sentence and started talking a million miles an hour. I sat silent on the other end until she was finished.

"No I'm good. I'm not mad at you over what happened. It was my own fault. Actually there is a reason I called. I wanted to know if you could give me a ride to the clubhouse."

"Of course! I'll just pop in and say hi to Ope while I'm there. I'll be there in a few minutes." I hung up the phone and sighed. Here we go.

I was putting my bag by the door when she pulled in the driveway. She got out of her pick up truck and walked up to the porch. I grabbed my bag and met her outside. As soon as I got within her reach she scooped me into her arms for a hug. I sat there awkwardly at first then I returned her hug. She held me for a minute then let me go.

"I'm so glad you're not mad at me. Woah what happened to your face?" I sighed as I began walking towards her truck. I wasn't sure if I should tell her or maybe I should just give her the condensed version. I didn't exactly want to tell her that I was drinking with her soon to be husband and I really believed he had feelings for me. I couldn't even tell her about the situation with Kyle. She'd just tell Ope and not only would Kyle get his ass kicked again I'd have a lot of explaining to do. So I made the decision to keep it as brief as possible. Donna seemed to realize I was already three fourths of the way into her truck and she got the point I was ready to go. She hopped off my porch and quickly made her way towards her truck. I don't know how anyone could be so happy all the time. Then again why wouldn't she be happy? She had everything she wanted. She had the guy and now she was going to have the baby. What could be better?

"I was drinking and tripped over the picnic table." I said as she got inside the truck. She nodded as if that explained everything. I was just happy we were going to drop the subject. I didn't want to risk the chance of my story slipping up.

"So I don't want to bring this up but I kind of need too. Given the situation with the dress, do you still want to be in the wedding?" I nodded. No I really didn't want too but regardless of how I felt about him, he was my best friend. I was going to be there for that reason alone.

"Yeah I still want to be there. I can't go back to that dress shop though." She laughed.

"No of course not. I figured we would go into Stockton for our next trip. Besides, I don't think the owners want you back into the dress shop." I nodded.

"Sounds good just let me know when."

We pulled up to the clubhouse and I quickly hopped out of the car. Donna got out as well. She seemed to glide as she made her way towards the garage. Oh to be that happy. Maybe I will be one day. I made my way towards the clubhouse as I watched Opie scoop Donna up in his arms and kissed her. I felt my heart jump down to my feet. I quickly turned away. Watching the two of them together just made me miserable. I walked inside and immediately came face to face with Kyle. Talk about miserable, looking at his face I know he was in a world of hurt. My hand flew to my mouth. His right eye was swollen shut, his bottom lip was busted open and the rest of his face was a map of purple and blue. Wow was all I could say. Happy had really done a number on his face. I wonder if Kyle even knew why it happened. I wanted to laugh in his face. Maybe now he would get the hint.

"You gonna kiss it and make it better?" I rolled my eyes. Yeah so much for that. I should have known that nothing was going to diminish his king size ego.

"Nobody kissed mine and made it any better so no I'm not going to kiss any part of you." He laughed and raised his hand to stroke my cheek.I quickly pulled away from him. He had some nerve touching me.

"Aww Teller didn't kiss it and make it all better. Oh maybe that's because he traded you up for a new piece of ass, some hot little porn star. There's always room in my bed for you princess." I quickly pushed away from him and walked towards Jax's dorm. I shouldn't let Kyle's words bother me but it was hard to ignore with Kyle's laughter following me the whole way there. I don't know why I was so mad. Kyle was probably lying. Jax was hurting inside and seriously how did he have time to sleep with anyone. He's been at my house most of the morning. I pushed open Jax's door and sure enough there was some skimpy blonde performing a strip tease while he sat on the edge of his bed watching. His eyes swung towards me and guilt shone in them. Well I'm pretty damn sure my brown eyes were flaming. Why am I so mad? He's not mine!

"Get the fuck out now!" She turned to me and put her hands on her hips. Meanwhile, he sat there a slight smirk playing on his lips.

"Um honey I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with Jax and you can get out." I rolled my eyes and in an instant I surprised even myself by grabbing a handful of her blonde hair and threw her right out of his door and slammed it behind her. I turned around and pushed my hair out of my face. He rubbed his hand over his slight beard, very obviously trying not to laugh.

"Ain't a damn thing funny Teller. Your girlfriend just left you! What the hell are you doing? Shacking up with the first available ass you find? You can't bury your face down and ignore your problems." He actually laughed and then stood up. He took a step towards me and just stopped.

"Yeah but I can bury it in pussy." My face turned three shades of red. I couldn't believe he had just said that to me! Oh the nerve of him and his sarcasm!

"Wasn't pussy the problem in the first place you idiot! You sat at my house damn near in tears this morning over Tara and now you're fucking a porn star."

"Technically I wasn't doing anything yet." Ughhhh! He was making me so damn mad. He took a step towards me.

"You know when Kyle said that you were with a porn star I didn't believe it! I expected to find you drinking! Not sitting here with your tongue hanging out! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Why would Kyle tell you what I'm doing anyway?" That's really what he was worried about? After everything I said!

"Because! He thinks we're together dumbass! He was trying to hurt me!" His happy go lucky demeanor went out the window. His face went serious quick.

"He wants you? Is that what you're telling me? I'll fucking kill him if he even thinks about it." The muscle in his jaw started to tick. And in that moment I was strangely drawn in. The angry look on his face was almost mesmerizing.

"You know you're actually kind of cute when you're angry." My hands flew to my mouth. I can't believe I had just said that. My cheeks started to glow red. I could barely bring myself to look at him but I knew I had to. I slowly lifted my eyes to his face and his face looked puzzled. I guess that's why it took me by surprise when his hands wound up in my hair and his lips smashed into mine. Oh boy here we go again.

sorry this chapter took so long. I knew where I wanted it to go but I couldn't get it there! But now it is finally done enjoy :)