What does Zuko know about love?
Well, he knows it's not supposed to hurt nearly half as bad as taking a lightning bolt head on. But it sure hurts more than that right now, like he's holding on to lightning itself that desperately wants to be let out. And he can't, not behind the walls of the Fire Nation Royal Palace. If he did, he'd be destructive, and chaotic, and have nowhere to aim it at. So, he holds onto it just a little longer even if it kills him.
Katara's relapsed and it came after a few days of intense migraines, dizzy spells, and their finest healers unable to soothe away the heightened pain she compared to her "head splitting." Sokka demands a water bender healer and Toph just wants him to stop yelling at everybody, because then he's giving her a headache.
When Aang has to keep reminding Katara he's the Avatar every day, he's quick to offer up abandoning his Avatar duties, and Zuko wants to do the same. Except it's only natural for Aang to voice his feelings to everybody. When Suki catches Aang in the middle of the night trying to fly away to the Northern Water Tribe, she shakes her head and talks him out of it. An important meeting is coming up; the Earth Kingdom is sending their representatives and advisors to come meet with the Fire Nation to establish a plan of action to rebuilding their treasured wall. Aang could care less about some dumb, stupid wall.
"You need to be there," Suki persuaded, Aang's head hanging low, like a stubborn child. "The Earth Kingdom is expecting you, the Avatar, to make sure that they can trust the Fire Nation."
"I'll be back in a flash; you won't even know I was gone! Appa can get me there in three days and back!"
"That's nearly a week. They're arriving tomorrow night, and then the day after is the meeting."
"Well, what about Zuko?" Aang had asked. "They know Zuko's a good Fire Lord, isn't that enough to make them want to work with the Fire Nation?"
Suki lowered her voice. "That's still Fire Lord Ozai's son." And she doesn't mean to say it like a creeping poison, but it comes out that way. Zuko knew not to take it personal before he disappeared back to his room, hid the Blue Spirit Mask in the secret compartment in his dresser. He resisted the urge to go out and fire bend in the middle of the night, felt anger at Katara's near hopeless situation, at Azula for not being good (so she can be Fire Lady instead), and most of all, for being his father's son.
He decides to go where he's needed.
Zuko pulls his bag to his chest, tight, mentally checking off the list of small things he was going to use for the trip. He's in all black, his hair loose and not pulled tight into a bun on his head. When he looks in the mirror, he feels more like himself than he has in months.
Mai is outside of his door, already waiting for him. Her arms are crossed against her chest, and she looks how she always has. Not happy. Zuko doesn't have time for this.
"We need to talk," she says. He brushes past her, feels her hand tug on his sleeve. "Zuko."
"I have to go," and it reminds her of all the times he's left without a proper explanation. She lets the sting settle for a bit, before she remarks, "I'd really appreciate if you took the time to speak to a concerned Fire Nation citizen."
He continues to walk away, says, "You can take it up with one of the advisors."
With an angry noise so unlike her, she shouts, "How could you take away all that my family owns?"
He stops. Turns back and sees her teeth pulled back, like she wants to rip his throat out and then shove it somewhere. Says, "I didn't take anything."
"Yes, you did," she hisses. "You're the Fire Lord. You're the only one approving the ideas by signing those papers. But you probably didn't care to read over them."
Zuko can vaguely recall Uncle Iroh telling him about paperwork dealing with former advisors and generals, but he didn't read too far into it. Really, only skimmed it, and it seemed a reasonable price. Punish those who served former Fire Lord Ozai for their evil deeds.
Oh. Zuko realizes. To repay the Earth Kingdom, they were going to take from father's previous advisors and generals. That means Mai's father.
"I'm sorry," he says, hastily. "I didn't come up with the idea."
"Now we have next to nothing," Mai says, digging her nails into her flesh so hard, she might just bleed from it. "My father's lost his job, we barely have any money left to take care of ourselves, and we're losing our home."
Zuko's brows pull together, sympathetic. "Mai, it won't be that hard. Your family can find a job in the city, and there are decent places to live, affordable even. I did it, my uncle and I-"
"Who's going to hire him? He worked for a horrible person and did horrible things. And after everything I've done for you, this is how you repay me?" Her voice cracks, and Zuko's feet feel glued to the floor. But he wants to hurry to Katara, he really does, but…
"In life, there are second chances. To do better and to be better," he rushes. Suki and the rest of the team were literally waiting for him outside. "When I get back, I promise I'll help your family."
"Where are you even going? Don't you have a meeting to prepare for tomorrow?"
He hesitates. "I'm taking Katara home."
The previous night, Zuko spoke with his uncle about it. He needed his uncle to represent the Fire Nation during the Earth Kingdom meeting because out of everybody here, Zuko was needed the least. His uncle didn't even try to talk him out of it, knew his decision was made the moment Zuko walked through the door, his shoulders set, head held high.
"I guess I'm going to have to lose some weight to fit into the Fire Lord outfit," he chuckled, and Zuko hugged him, thanked him for doing this. Katara was his priority.
Mai has nothing to say to that. Disappointment sets her lips into a thin line, and she looks at Zuko and doesn't see the great Fire Lord she thought he'd turn out to be. She doesn't even recognize him anymore, an empty shell of the boy she thought she loved.
No. She's mistaken. This is not the great Fire Lord she thought he'd be, but it's still the boy she grew up loving. Sweet, honorable Zuko who remained loyal to the people he loved most once he figured himself out. The boy who craved adventure and loved playing with knives, and offered friendship with his awkward conversation skills and bland tea, and impressive fire bending. So unlike any other Fire Nation noble she'd ever met in her life, better than the ones thrown at her by her parents for an arranged marriage, because this one actually cared. Yet he's broken her heart again, whatever's left of it.
He holds his breath until she says, "Go."
He smiles at her before he leaves, and she doesn't realize the tears streaming down her face until she relaxes her jaw and tastes the salt on her tongue. Growing up, whenever she'd envision the boy she loved, she always imagined he'd love her back. And it's because of this, that she doesn't recognize Zuko, because he's in love with somebody else.
"Finally!"
Zuko jogs up to Appa and the others who squint at him in the early morning light; Katara's all bundled up snugly for the freezing temperatures up north. "Sorry, I'm late."
"You're going to need more than just that," says Suki, and she wraps a giant, puffy jacket around him, satisfied at how it smothers him whole, bets he's warm now. Zuko's a little short on winter wear and he's grateful to her.
Katara looks like she's in a daze, "What's going on?"
Zuko's expression softens, "I'm taking you home."
"Where is that?"
She's asked so many questions these past few days, but nobody gets tired of explaining it to her. Not when she's nagged everyone so many times about picking up after themselves, collecting food, and to stop scamming people. At this point, everybody misses Katara and it's about time they've done something about it.
While the girls get Katara situated on top of Appa, Aang and Sokka peek sidelong at Zuko. They exchange looks amongst each other, as if they were co-conspiring against him. He doesn't know what to say to them, and thankfully, they take the initiative. Sokka puts his hand out, and in it, there's a map.
"You're going to need this. These are my dad's ship routes in case you guys run out of supplies and need to restock on the way. I already sent a message letting him know."
"Thank you," Zuko says, rolling the map into his bag.
Aang wears a somber expression. "And this." He hands Zuko the necklace Katara always wears, from her mother.
"Why do you have this?"
"She… forgot about it." At this, they all look down at their feet. Zuko's careful when he folds it into his bag, tucks it securely between the clothes. He'll figure out the best time to give this to her.
When Aang walks over to say goodbye to Appa, Sokka places a hand on Zuko's shoulder. He looks him dead in the eyes. "Keep my sister safe, no matter what."
"I will."
"Because if she gets hurt again, I will hunt you down."
"As you should."
Sokka nods, and it feels almost like approval. Toph calls out from on top, "You ready yet or are you two lovebirds still kissing each other goodbye?"
Right before Zuko and Katara lift off with Appa, the rest of them wave goodbye from down below, and Zuko doesn't miss the sad look on Sokka's face nor Aang's, as he's sure they wanted to be the ones to take her. But Aang, as Avatar, is needed for peace, and Sokka is a representative of the Water Tribe. Zuko hopes they find what they need in the Northern Water Tribe, remembers they have special healing properties. Tries not to think about what he left Mai behind with, a bitter taste in his mouth.
Katara is quiet most of the way, except to tell him he should probably get some rest because he's been flying Appa for quite some time. And Appa needs his rest as well. They stop by a couple of villages, though not for very long; only to fill their stomachs and stretch out their limbs from sitting for too long. He speaks very little to her, and Katara wonders if she's done something to upset him, so when they're back in the air again, she asks.
"No," he says, his back facing her. There goes that.
She frowns a little. Decides to poke. "From my understanding, you're the Fire Lord. Why is it that you're the one taking me and not anybody else?"
"Because," he sighs, "This is my duty."
She scoots up to sit beside him and he's thrown off by how close she is. "What-"
"Who am I to you?"
She looks at him so intensely, that he utters out a brilliant, "Uh."
"Nevermind, you don't have to answer," she says, just as quick, and looks out at the view to ponder. Zuko's slightly relieved because he's not even sure anymore either. The weather grows increasingly cold and they huddle together for warmth, the snow slowing them down greatly.
They camp out for the first couple of nights, forced to share one tent because the freezing air is too much to handle for just one person. Zuko watches her back, sees the shivering, and tries his best to warm the tent. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable by getting too close. He's a stranger again, but in the morning, he feels her back pressed against his and remembers that by the end of this journey, things will go back to how they are between them. She'll be better.
After three long days of flying and silence, they see the edge of the Northern Water Tribe. The tall glacial walls surround the city and a flashback of the Fire Nation invading them makes him hold Appa's reins a little tighter. He was the one who led them there and that inevitably led to the death of Princess Yue.
When they land, they're beside great naval ships belonging to the Southern Water Tribe. Hakoda walks out of the grand city walls first, calls out his daughter's name. "Katara!"
He rushes over to her, pulls her into a tight hug. She glances worriedly at Zuko but he just nods, reassuring her. "It's your father."
When Hakoda turns his attention to the fire bender, Zuko bows deeply, goes so far as to call him sir, and then they're led into the icy city to put away their belongings and rest for a bit before dinner. Hakoda informs them, mainly Zuko, that Pakku has returned to the Southern Water Tribe to remarry Katara's grandmother. He's received Sokka's letter and decided to take a detour on their long route from helping villages struggling for resources. Zuko says sorry, for the thousandth time, but Hakoda waves his apologies off, insists that they must do what they can, and he was close by anyway.
They stay in a little ice hut, cozy enough for the two of them despite Hakoda eyeballing the small amount of space between the beds. It could be combined into one easily, and when he signals Zuko to follow him out for a talk after dinner, Zuko's hands grow clammy and he wipes his nerves on the front of his pants.
They stand on a bridge that overlooks the canals of the water system. Zuko avoids looking directly at Hakoda. "So, you're the one who's been taking care of my daughter."
"Yes, sir."
"You were, no offense, but probably the last person I expected it to be."
Zuko doesn't know what to say. It would have made much more sense to have Sokka or Aang do it, even Suki, but he just had to be the one to take full responsibility over her. It feels like her dad knows what he's up to, and he fidgets under Hakoda's gaze.
"I guess it's a good thing it was you then."
"I'm sorry, sir?"
He laughs, slaps his hand on Zuko's back a little hard, but he takes it. "You're the boy Katara was always complaining about, that fire bending boy. Though, you're a Fire Lord now, right? I commend you for putting up with more than what people think you put up with."
Zuko's a little touched. "Thank you, sir."
"You don't have to keep calling me 'sir.'" Hakoda points out, though he does appreciate one of the kids out of Team Avatar being respectful. Thinks that his children found some worthy partners. Sokka found Suki, a polite and headstrong girl. And Katara… "Are you two…?"
Zuko's face flushes red. "Excuse me?"
Hakoda looks nervous suddenly, and wonders if he's done that thing Katara hates, where he assumes any guy is her boyfriend. "Uh, well, I mean. If it was you bringing her here and not the Avatar or Sokka, then are you two…?"
"I uh, I don't know, sir." Zuko's impressed by the amount of heat he's applying to the ice bridge, and yet it still won't melt. "I don't think she'll like me very much after this is all said and done."
"Huh."
Hakoda doesn't want to think too much about his daughter's relationship with the Fire Lord. Zuko doesn't seem like a bad kid, after all, and that uncle of his has been a good influence on all the kids. Nope, doesn't want to think about that small hut his daughter and Zuko are sleeping in together, when they could have easily found a room for each of them, separate. When he wakes them up in the morning for breakfast, they're both snoring heavily, exhausted from the trip. Zuko's bed is pushed all the way to other end of the room. Smart boy, Hakoda thinks, almost chuckles to himself. His children have found a couple of keepers.