Ch. 14 Memories of a Broken Heart

"Here we are, Miss Stephanie," Alfred said as he finished patching me up. "Now then, would you like your meal in the Cave or upstairs?"

"Upstairs please," I answered. Alfred started to gather his medical supplies when I jumped off of the gurney and gave him a hug. "Thank you, Alfred."

"You're welcome, my dear," Alfred whispered as he returned the embrace. "Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I have some waffles to make."

The past couple of hours have been a complete blur. There was nothing but silence on the plane. After I calmed down, I just sat and looked out the window. Cass sat by me. She didn't say a word, and that was fine. She knew I wasn't up to talking and that her presence was comfort enough. Tim stayed in the cockpit with Zinda. Eventually, I nodded off and fell asleep on Cass' shoulder.

Alfred was waiting for us as soon as we got back to the Cave. While Alfred was attending to me, Bruce wanted to talk to everyone else. A chill ran down my spine. That was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to. I watched as Dick, Damian and Cass followed Bruce upstairs. Tim waited a bit, glancing over to me before following everyone up.

He removed his cowl and I saw the look in his eyes. He looked even more exhausted than I was. Tim's eyes were sullen and it looked like he hadn't had much rest either. But the warmth was still there. He wanted to stay here, by my side. He wanted to wrap me in his arms and hold me. I knew that we needed to talk. I had to tell him everything that went down. I had to tell him about Jason. No more lies, no more secrets.

I finally decided to go upstairs to see how Alfred was doing. I was greeted with the aroma of freshly made waffles.

"Perhaps you should wash up, Miss Stephanie," Alfred suggested. "Your place at the table shall be set by the time you finish."

I simply nodded and padded over to the bathroom. There was a change of clothes and fresh towels laid out for me. My body ached as I slowly stripped off the clothes I wore while at St. Hadrian's and threw them in the corner. I almost didn't recognize the person in the mirror.

I stood under the cascading water for what felt like ages, easing the tension from my muscles. After a few minutes, I finally lathered some shampoo and ran my fingers through my tangled hair. As I washed away the last of the shampoo, I couldn't help but think about what happened the last few hours.

Jason… How could I just leave him there? How come I just let them take off? We could have saved him.

Tears welled up and began to fall, merging with the streams of water from the shower. Every memory, every moment spent with Jason just replayed in my mind.

I cried for a while, leaning against the shower wall for support. Luckily no one could hear my sobs over the rushing water. I stayed under the warm comfort until I ran out of tears. When I finally stepped out of the shower, the room was filled with steam. I quickly dried myself off and changed into the shirt and sweat pants that were left for me.

I walked back into the kitchen where Alfred was pouring a glass of orange juice. He smiled, nodding over to my chair. I sat down and grabbed the syrup, adding a bit to my breakfast. There was a satisfying crunch as I sliced into the first waffle. I savored each forkful of the first real meal I've had in a while.

Alfred realized that I was lost in waffleworld and chuckled. He placed a fresh batch in front of me and left to check on the others. I munched away, only stopping to down my glass of juice.

That's when I heard someone shuffle into the kitchen. I looked over to see Tim in his pajamas, his hair still wet and clinging to his forehead after his shower. He was just slipping his shirt on when he entered the room. I'd be lying if I said I didn't take the chance to sneak a peek at the goods.

Tim took a seat next to me and filled his plate with food. Anxiety crept through me. I wasn't mentally prepared to explain everything to Tim. I definitely couldn't do it during breakfast. But here he was, a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. His smile was half-hearted and his eyes still looked gloomy.

I didn't even realize I dozed off and that Tim was finishing up his food. I shook my head and jabbed my fork into my last waffle. I was about to say something when Tim got up and took his plate over to the sink, washing it before putting it away.

Once I finished up, I followed Tim over to the sink and washed my plate. He leaned against the counter, his thumb in between his teeth. I wish I could tell what he was thinking. I took the opportunity and flicked some water at him, breaking his train of thought.

"Hey!" Tim chuckled, a small smile crossing his lips.

Good, at least I know he's talking to me.

I finished washing my dishes and put them away. We stood in silence for a few moments, the only sound was droplets of water falling from the faucet. Tim then moved over to me, dangling the necklace he gave me the night of the gala for a moment before putting it around my neck.

My hand darted up to the heart shaped locket and my fingers grazing over the small diamonds. I turned back to Tim and took in a breath. But before I could say anything, Tim brought me into his arms. He tightened his embrace and nuzzled into my neck. I felt a shiver run down my spine and I suddenly lost my ability to speak. My knees buckled as I melted into his chest.

"Get some rest. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" Tim whispered into my ear. I could only nod. Tim shifted so his lips rested on my forehead. He gave me a chaste kiss before releasing me from his hold. "Goodnight, Steph. I love you."

I woke up the next morning tangled in a blanket and my hair a mess, the sunlight warm against my skin. I stretched and climbed out of bed, padding over to the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth and attempted to get my hair under control. While in the bathroom I heard footsteps shuffling outside.

I wonder who else is up right now?

After tying my hair into a ponytail, I made my way downstairs. The sound of the footsteps led me to the living room, where Damian was sprawled out across the couch listening to some music. I inched closer to him, not wanting to surprise the little monster.

"What do you want, Brown?" Damian asked as he peeked from under his hand.

"Good morning to you too, Sunshine," I greeted. "What're you doing up?"

"I haven't slept," Damian grumbled.

"So you've been up all night?"

"Yes, there has been a lot on my mind."

I took a seat at the end of the couch, tucking my legs under me. Damian shifted to give me more room. "Like what?"

"It's nothing of importance," Damian huffed, wrinkling his nose as if he smelled something bad.

"C'mon Damian, what is it?" I pestered. It only took a few seconds of poking at his leg before Damian let out an annoyed groan.

"Don't you have other things to worry about? Have you spoken to Drake yet?" Damian asked.

"Nope," I sighed. "We're going to talk today."

"What do you plan on telling him?" Damian questioned, propping himself onto his elbows so he could face me.

At that moment, we heard footsteps coming toward the room. My heart started fluttering as the pitter-patter of bare feet drew closer. It didn't take long for Tim to walk into the room. He was still in his pajamas and his hair looked worse than mine. He took a second to look around the room before speaking.

"Morning," Tim greeted. He brushed stray strands of hair from his face as we locked eyes.

"Morning," I answered, trying to be chipper.

"Drake," Damian grumbled as he got up from the sofa. I noticed a slight nod from Damian before he left us alone in the living room.

Tim then took Damian's seat on the couch, sighing as he slumped down into the soft leather.

"So, how're you feeling?" Tim asked.

My eyes trailed over to his side of the couch. It was a normal enough question, but I knew it wasn't the one he wanted to ask. He was staring out the window, as if he was distracted. It looked like he was trying his work out the best way to approach me. But if he kept this up, we'd get nowhere.

Just go for it, Steph.

"Tim," I started. "I know you must have some questions, so let's not tiptoe around this. What's on your mind?"

"Okay then." Silence filled the air between us. It wasn't the same comfortable quiet that I was used to. The longer we sat, the more anxious I got. A few moments passed before he spoke again. "When did you first meet Jason?"

"Remember when I got shot and I said that a doctor saved me?" I asked. Tim nodded in response. "That was a lie. Jason saved me that night."

It didn't take long for me to explain to Tim everything that's happened since that night. How Jason saved me and took care of me, my date with Jason, why he showed up at the gala, asking for my help tracking down Spoiler, and his betrayal.

Once in a while Tim would nod or grunt when something surprised him, but he let me tell my story without interruption. He rested his chin on his knuckle and leaned against the couch arm. His eyes never left mine.

Our eye contact broke as soon as I finished speaking. When Tim spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. "You must have cared a lot about him."

"I did."

"Did you love him?"

"…What?" I stuttered.

"Did you love him, Steph?" Tim repeated.

I could feel the warmth flush my cheeks. "How could you ask that Tim? You know how I feel."

"Do I?" Tim sighed. He ran a hand through his hair before continuing. "Because it seems to me like you've been having a hard time making up your mind."

"Tim, I love you. Nothing that happened with Jason ever changed my feelings for you." We locked eyes for a second before he pulled away.

"Then why keep him a secret? Why'd you lie?" Tim asked, his voice betraying the hurt he felt. "Why couldn't you tell me about him?"

"Listen, Jason saved my life and I didn't want you guys to get the wrong idea. He helped me and I wanted to understand him better. I gave him a chance and found out that he was a good guy underneath it all. He deserved a second chance."

"He sold you out to Talia!" Tim yelled as he stood up. "Don't you see? Jason wasn't a good guy. He played you and you almost got killed."

I was getting frustrated and sent Tim a glare. "But I didn't! Jason realized his mistake, he knew what he did was wrong and he did everything he could to make it right!"

"Why're you still defending him? Even after all the things you went through. You can't tell me that you're okay with all of it?"

"Of course I'm not okay with it!" I sighed, taking a second to gather my thoughts. "But it doesn't mean I couldn't see the effort. You weren't there Tim. You didn't see the hurt in his eyes. You couldn't see the conflict he felt everyday we were there. I'm not trying to excuse what Jason did, but he tried to be good, he tried to be a hero."

"And look where that got him!"

Slap!

The slap happened so fast; it was as if my hand had a mind of its own. Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at Tim. He raised his hand up to his reddened cheek, a surprised look painted his face. I couldn't believe those words came out of his mouth.

"How dare you?" I accused. I got up from the couch and left. I didn't want to keep talking if Tim was going to be an ass.

I know he's pissed, but to say that about Jason. Especially after what happened. Tim went too far.

I walked back to my room and plopped on the bed. I let out a tired sigh as I wiped away the tears from my eyes. This wasn't the way I pictured I'd spend my morning. My talk with Tim left me feeling like crap. It wasn't the fact that Tim didn't get it; I expected that much. It was the fact that Tim was asking all the right questions to make me question myself.

I love Tim. That was a fact. But did I also love Jason? The Jason who saved me, took care of me and played laser tag with orphans. Was there a small part of me who didn't mind that Jason kept popping up in my life? My thoughts were spinning as I stared up at the ceiling.

Luckily, a knock broke me out of my trance. I looked up to see the door opening and Damian peeking his head in.

"I take it your talk with Drake was less than productive?" Damian questioned.

I smirked, sitting up to face him. "What're you checking up on me?"

"Perhaps," Damian shrugged as he closed the door behind him. "Are you alright?"

"I… I honestly don't know. I'm all kinds of confused right now."

"So am I." Damian took a seat next to me, his eyes tired.

"What's on your mind?"

"It's my… my mother," Damian answered. "Father and I ran into her at St. Hadrian's."

"Not the best time for a reunion, huh?"

Damian shook his head. "When I entered the room, she was with a couple of guards. They took aim but she ordered them to lower their weapons. For a second, I thought I saw her face soften and a smile form. But that quickly changed. She grew cold again. She reminded me that I was her enemy and about the huge bounty on my head. Once Father arrived she turned to leave, warning us about the bomb."

I scooted over and put my arm around Damian, bringing him closer. He rested his head against my shoulder before starting again.

"I just want to know why." Damian said. "I want to know why she started Leviathan. Why she's amassing an army to fight us. Why did it have to be like this?"

I could feel teardrops wetting my shirt. This was the first time I've ever seen Damian cry. I took my hand and brushed his hair, trying to comfort him. Silence settled between us, the only sound was Damian's muffled sniffling.

A few minutes passed before Damian pulled away from me, wiping his nose on his sleeve. He then whispered, "Thank you, Stephanie."

I smiled back. Maybe there's hope for him yet.

It was quiet as I stood in front of the grave. The only sound that filled the air were birds singing and trees rustling in the wind. I brushed some stray leaves out of the way as I placed down the flowers I brought. I took a breath and read the name engraved on the gravestone.

Clancy Johnson.

"How's it going, Clancy?" I asked, placing my hand on the stone. I had only recently learned where he was buried and I thought it would be nice to visit him. "Well, everything's been going okay on my end too. School's out for the semester but my night job keeps me busy."

I took a seat, resting my chin on my knees. I rambled, talking about everything and nothing. I'm sure he didn't care what I chatted about. I also made sure I brought Clancy up to speed on how Gotham's been doing. After a few minutes of talking I started to doze off, my mind wandering to recent events.

Two months. It's been two months since we escaped St. Hadrian's. It's been two months since I last saw Jason. Bruce told me that Knight and Squire couldn't find a body. I didn't have any proof, but I knew that Jason somehow survived the explosion and made it to safety.

Meow.

From the corner of my eye I noticed an orange cat lazing on one of the tombstones. It was as if he appeared out of nowhere. It took me a second, but I remembered where I've seen this cat before.

"Teekl? What are you doing here?"

"We're here for a visit, isn't it obvious?" a voice from above answered.

I looked up to see a familiar blue boy sitting on a branch above me. "And why are you visiting, Klarion?"

Klarion jumped from the tree and landed next to me, taking a seat in front of Clancy's grave. "It's been some time since we saw each other last and as you remember, Limbo Town can be such a bore."

Teekl walked over and sat on Klarion's lap. Light purring filled the air as the Witch Boy caressed his familiar. Moments passed before Klarion spoke again. "Who is Clancy?"

"Someone who died while trying to help me. It seems like a trend for me lately, getting people killed."

Klarion gave me a wide-eyed look. "Who else have you gotten killed?"

I gave Klarion the quick version of everything that's happened up to now. Well, as quickly as possible anyway.

"I was right, compared to here Limbo Town is quite boring," Klarion noted. "But it is as you say, you are not completely sure of Jason's demise. Then there is hope?"

"Yeah there is, but it's hard. Our associates in England couldn't find a body and I don't even know where to start looking.

"Well, if I had something that belonged to Jason, I might be able to trace him with magic."

I jumped at what Klarion said. "Really? You think you can find him?"

"I'm pretty sure," he nodded, getting up and dusting himself off.

It didn't take long for us to get home. Luckily Mom was at work so I didn't have to explain the blue boy coming home with me. When we walked up to my door, there was a package waiting there. It was addressed to me, but I found it strange that there was no return sender.

Once we got inside, we walked into the kitchen and opened the package. Underneath all the packing was a vest attached to a laser tag gun. The vest looked almost identical to the ones used at the arcade. I lifted the vest and an envelope fell out.

Keep practicing.

-J

Looking over my shoulder, Klarion read the letter. "See, you worried for nothing!"