I stood there dumbfounded for what was actually a few moments but to my heart it felt like a lifetime. I guess i finally knew what the saying 'walking away with my heart' means. The bad part is, I'm not sure which one of them walked away with mine.

I walked back to the bar with my head hung low. I guess this is about as close to a walk of shame as I would ever get. I laughed at myself maliciously, i never thought I would be doing a walk of shame. I felt as if I had been dumped by both of my best friends. in a way it was what I had coming. I had done exactly what I never wanted to do, I came in between the two most important people to me...well other than my mom of course.I kept replaying Ope swinging on Jax over and over in my head. Would they be able to come back from this? Did I ruin a life long friendship? I shook my head as the tears started to form in my eyes. I needed to rid myself of both of them for them to truly heal. My chest constricted at the thought of never again seeing their smiling faces but if that's what was best for them that is what I needed to do. I looked up and waved my hand to signal the bartender. He gave me a big grin and waltz over.

"What can i do ya for sweet cheeks?" I rolled my eyes.

"Can i get a pen, paper and envelope please?" He wiggled his eyebrows. I scoffed. Did I not just ask for stationary? I didn't ask for sexual implications.

" I can give ya something else. Something that will put a grin on that sad puppy dog face; something that will cure you deep in the soul..." I held my hand up to silence him.

Let me stop you there, first off never in your lifetime would you ever stand a chance with me..." he slammed his hand on the bar, startling me a bit.

"And whys that? Because I'm not some pretty boy like Teller?" The anger was clear in his voice. I half-smiled even though my chest hurt.

"Yeah because you will never be half the man Jax Teller is; not because he's pretty because damn right he is; but because he's one of the greatest man I will ever have the pleasure of knowing." He pushed himself off of the bar and went to get the things i asked for. And to think, I didn't even have to threaten him with Clay.

I started to draft my letter, I choked back the tears that were doing everything to let themselves be known. But I had to get through this I told myself as I pushed on through writing. I knew it my heart that if anyone would understand it was Gemma.

I finished my letter and did my next unexpected thing; I called my mom. I knew by her tone she could tell I was upset but she didn't ask questions over the phone and immediately answered that she would come pick me her credit, the ride home was silent but I knew I wasn't going to get off that easily. I sighed as I prepared myself to come clean about everything. If I wanted to truly start over, I needed to start over with my mom as well.

We pulled up to the house and she got out of the car swiftly and made her way into the house. I knew well enough to follow her. As I walked into the kitchen, I was surprised to see that my mom had cookies in the center of the table and was already seated across the table. Geeze that was fast. I took my seat and let out a sigh.

"So are you going to tell me or do I have to drag it out of u?" I picked up a cookie and slowly broke off a piece. I looked up my eyes are filled with tears.

"Well mom shit has hit the fan..." and with that I unloaded everything. I sobbed through being in love with Opie to how devastated I was when I found out he was getting married and having a baby.

" And that's not even the worst part mom! I was sitting in Jax's room trying not to let my emotions run wild and then Jax kisses me mom he freakin kissed me." My mom's response threw me for a loop. She snorted. Really I pour my heart out and she snorts!

"And what is so funny?" She picked up a cookie and bit into it. I believe she was personally stalling. It was a brief moment before she answered.

"Honey it doesn't surprise me Jax kissed you. That boy's been crazy about you since he was 15 years old." My mouth fell open. What?

"Excuse me?" She laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world. Meanwhile im over here stupified.

"You really didn't know?"

"Uhhh no!" That caused her to laugh harder.

"It is plain to see. Gemma and i used to laugh about it, often wondering what our grandkids were gonna look like." I didn't think my mouth go any wider but it did I couldn't believe they all knew but me.

"So are you gonna tell me who gave you that hickey or are we just gonna stop sharing now?"