Riding on the back of Opie's Harley was a different experience than riding with Jax. The silence didn't feel nearly as comfortable and Jax would always turn around to look at me. I know it sounds like a weird thing to miss but idid. Its funny how once I preferred to ride with Opie but right now I missed the comfort that Jax has always given me. How could I not see that he loved me? Was I really so self absorbed that I couldn't see his love for me over my love for Opie? I felt like a bad best friend. I must have broke his heart a million times and I never knew it. I needed to set things right. Jax and I may not ever be romantically together but I was determined to fix our friendship. If I was being totally honest, Jax was my very best friend. I called him for everything and he was always there but truthfully I didn't do the things for him the way he did for me. My heart broke on the spot. It never really hit me until this moment; I may have been in love with Opie but Jax was my other half. I didn't do anything without him...okay that's not true. Obviously we showered , slept and he did a lot of other things without me; but what did I do without him? I partied with him, shopped with him, texted, laughed and drank with him. God I'm a loser. The only memory I had here lately that wasn't Jax related was dress shopping with Donna, and every one knows how that turned out. Maybe my mom was right, I needed more girl friends.

We arrived at the clubhouse and to be honest I almost didn't want to go in. This conversation needed to happen even if it brought on the change I was dreading. I eased myself off of Ope's bike and let out a shaky breath. This was it. It was time to make ammends with my best friend. Ope laid a heavy hand on my shoulder; it wasn't intentionally heavy because I don't think he was purposely trying to throw me off balance. That brought a smile to my face.

"You're his best friend too, don't forget that." I smoothed down my pants, which wasn't easy considering they were Jax's pajama pants. I read Ope scoff and I could see the eye roll without looking at him.

"I'm nervous okay?!" I practically yelled.

"There's nothing to be nervous about. You go in apologize, he apologizes there ya go best fucking friends again!" I turned to face him, making sure my facial expression said everything. He raised his hands in defense.

"It may not be that easy. What if our friendship changes? What if its not the same? Everyone keeps saying he's in love with me. Now that I know, how do I go back to the way things were when I know that now?" He sighed and ran his hand along his face. I always wondered why men do that. I mean is it to show us that they're out of options or frustrated. I decided against asking him just that and gave him time to think.

"Are you sure you want it to go back the way it was?" Well I wasn't expecting him to go there. I sat there dumbfounded. What did I want? I don't even think I know. I love Jax but do I love him in a forever kind of way? He said himself that hes no good for me. Is he right? Would we completely ruin our friendship if we crossed that line?

"I honestly don't know what I want." He placed his hand on my shoulder again. I placed mine on top of his and we stared at the clubhouse together in silence; both mentally preparing for the changes that were coming our way. The sad part is, there was nothing we could do to fix it.

I slowly walked into the clubhouse and made a beeline for Jax's room. I didn't want to deal with anyone else because I was nervous enough without having to answer a bunch of questions. I let out a deep breath and knocked on the door. My heart was beating out of my chest and I could barely breathe. This was the longest minute of my life. Why wasn't he answering?! I knocked again a little louder this no answer so I pushed open the door only to regret it.

"You know when people don't answer the door there's normally a reason!" The blonde who was currently climbing off of Jax stated. I stared at him blankly

"I'm sorry I'll go." I said as I looked at the ground. The blonde walked to the bathroom and Jax rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"That was uh Wendy..."I nod as I stared towards the bathroom.

"Shes something huh," I said with my hand up against my mouth holding in a laugh.

"She makes the time pass." He said with a chuckle.

"Well when you get finished with her I need to talk to u." He picked up his pack of cigarettes and pulled one out. He lit it and took a long drag then gave me a megawatt smirk.

"Darlin that was round three,I think she's good." My face heated in response. I can't believe he just said that. He patted the spot next to him and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

" Not in your life will I ever lay in another girl's cum for you. Sorry bout your lucky buddy." He took another drag then smiled again.

"But babe,there's some of mine in there too." I wrinkled my face in disgust again.

"Get dressed then meet me at the picnic tables."He stood up, completely naked causing me to turn four shades of red.

"You sure that's what you want?" I stammered and stubbled the whole way out of the door.I couldn't believe he did that to me. I kept my face down the whole way out of the clubhouse and to the picnic table. Now that was a real walk of shame.

a/n: so a llittle short I know but I didn't want to go out with a cliffhanger today. How'd we like playful Jax? Let me know what u think :D