I pushed myself off of the picnic table and made my way inside. It took everything in me not to look back. What in the hell was going on with him? Okay he didn't want to be with me, fine but he didn't have to act like a complete asshole about it. Despite my fake confidence, I was shaking inside. I had just laid it all out on the table with Jax and he acted as if he could care less. That alone pissed me off. A week ago I couldn't get him to leave me alone, now I decide to give this a shot and he's non chalant about it.

I pushed through the clubhouse doors and was surprised that Opie wasn't waiting there for me. I wasn't out there with Jax that long and yet Ope seemed to have disappeared. I glanced around the clubhouse and didn't see him so that only left his dorm room. I knocked gently on the door as my heart pounded into my chest. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous, Opie and I had made up. We seemed to be doing pretty okay despite everything. I was beyond relieved. If it were any other friendship I doubt they would have made it through the screaming and former love confession as well as we had but he came and pretty much kidnapped me to fix things so I think we are on the right track.

He opened his door and moved so I could come in. He had an old book laid out on his bed. I smiled instantly recognizing it as a photo album I had made him for one of his birthdays. I walked over to it and opened it up. The first picture was the three of us, it wasn't long after we became friends so I was about ten. I was in the middle of them both with my arms wrapped around each of their necks. My smile was so big it could have shattered my face. Now both of the boys didn't quite share my smile but that was okay. I flipped the page and the tears filled my eyes. All of our memories throughout the years could be pictured here. Why did things have to change? I looked up at Ope with tear rimmed eyes.

"We were all so happy then, before things were complicated." He sighed and came to sit next to me on the bed. He placed one of his arms loosely on my shoulder, trying to offer support I think. It surprised me but I didn't say anything. He's never been the affectionate kind of friend that was always Jax so any display of contact said a lot for Ope.

"I think things were always complicated, we just didn't know it." I wiped my eyes, obviously confused. Things were good when we were younger, no one fighting or hurting each other's feelings. As of a matter of fact, we hardly ever fought as kids. We were the three amigos anf I missed the simplicity of that more than anything.

"What do you mean Ope? Things were great. We hardly ever fought, we always had each other's backs and there was no feelings of animosity like right now." He pulled my head into my chest and lightly strokes my hair. Woah, who was this guy and what did he do with Opie? I sucked it up though, an obvious glutton for punishment because this one moment of bliss was going to cost me a world of hurt later.

"There was , you just didn't realize it, both Jax and I being crazy over you. We were constantly fighting for your attention. I wouldn't trade it for anything though you're right they were good times." I lifted my head up to look at him in his eyes.

"I never realized Ope. I was crazy over you too ya know." He shook his head and pulled my head up to look him in the face.

" I love Donna. I really love Donna but it would never compare to the crazy, stupid kind of love I have for you and that's never going to change. But one thing I realized early on is I was never going to be good enough for you. you are too pure hearted for this life and I couldn't be the one that broke your innocence." The tears flew freely now. Why hadn't I known? How did I miss the signs?

"Ope that wasn't your choice to make. It was mine. You're a good man Harry, you just don't see it. You've always had the idea in the back of your mind that you're just like Piney but you're not. You're so much better than he is. I just wish you would see it." He ran a shaky hand through his hair and let out a rugged breath. He seemed to be thinking things over but the silence was killing me. This was one of the most truthful conversations we have ever had and I wasn't ready for it to end.

"You're wrong, I am a lot like the old man... Because if I wasn't, I wouldn't do this." He grabbed me by the back of my head and crashed his lips into mine. My mind just went blank. Then the warmness spread throughout my whole body, quickly followed by guilt. This was all I ever wanted, what did I have to feel guilty about? I pulled back and we both just stared at each other, unsure of what to say. He cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"I'm sorry...I uh shouldn't have done that." I shook my head and just started to laugh. He looked at me like I have lost my mind entirely but I couldn't stop laughing. He started to laugh too though I'm guessing it's because I was laughing so hard.

"It's okay Ope, I've only been dreaming of this moment most of my life and it was wonderful but I feel so guilty...Which is the last thing I imagined I would be thinking about when you kissed me." He nodded, "I'm guessing you feel the same way. It just wasn't our time I guess. But know this Harry Winston, I will never stop loving you. It may not be the same way as I always have because let's face it one day some guy will sweep me off my feet but I will always love you." He smiled and pulled me into a hug

"You keep dreaming that sweetheart, because when that guy comes along Jax and I...We just might kill him."

so it's been awhile and I apologize again...Plan on sticking with it this time lol. So this has been on my mind for awhile and as a mom and a wife sometimes there's just not enough time in the day. So read review fill my inbox and reviews with lots of comments lol because at the end of the day even when it's been a chaotic one they make my day

Thanks for still reading even though I'm good with disappearing

- chellie šŸ˜