Over the next week it seemed like we spent every moment of our free time on the phone together, whether we were talking or texting. I found myself checking my phone for no reason at all and I noticed that I was smiling so much more. I was really happy, even if he lived what seemed like forever from me, our phone calls never failed to make me cheese from ear to ear. I was more eager for my breaks from the office or even being thankful she didn't need me at all, which is very unlike me. I loved being at the garage, I loved the smell of it, the people there, and normally just how it always calmed my nerves.I grew up with a bunch of motorcycle enthusiast, what can I say? It's just something about him. I can't shake my smile. This thing with Josh was new and exciting. He had changed something in me, I was surprised to find that I was actually glad Jax decided to pull his shit. I had to become my own person, learn how to handle shit on my own. Opie helps now but I don't run to the phone every time I have a crisis. I was growing up and actually happy about it.
Even though I would much rather have begun our learning phase in person, over the phone worked too. I learned that he had two younger sisters named Lacey and Heather, that he was picked on throughout elementary school and that he bought his own place so that he could have privacy. He said regardless of his age, his sister's had a bad habit of just barging into his room. It led to some, uh embarrassing inconveniences. I was an only child so I really didn't understand what it was like to have any siblings, much less younger ones, to pester me. Someone who would just randomly burst into my room, interrupting my solitude or someone who would borrow my things without asking. Someone like a brother or sister. Sometimes I was sad that my mom never had more children but I guess in a way I had two brothers. Even though at some point I managed to have feelings for both of them, we were family. They looked after and protected me, they managed to annoy the shit out of me so I guess I did have siblings. I found myself smiling, I had never really put it together like that before. I always told everyone that we were best friends, but in reality we were so much more. It hurts my heart that my bestest friend doesn't have much to do with me, but I was learning to live with it. I'm not his personal assistant, here to take his abuse. I've never really ever had to be without them; which makes this thing with Jax that much more painful.
The more I learned about Josh, the more I liked about him. He was just what I needed, and the fact that it drove Jax crazy that I no longer paid him any attention made it all the more satisfying. He never came out and said anything, though I noticed that he went out of his way to avoid subjects that had anything to do with Josh. Like if his name came up, Jax had something to do. He tried to do other things to draw me back in. He would do things in front of me; like miraculously drinking Jager bombs in my presence, which I've never seen him do before ; or talking out loud about wanting to go on a long ride. Granted the ride thing used to be our thing. We'd take off for a few hours and just drive, it was the most calming thing. But he was the one who screwed shit up, not me. And if he wanted to be friends again, he was going to initiate it, there's no way I was falling for that again. I'm done being a lap dog. I was truly happy. I found that with Josh, things were easy. There were no hidden feelings between us, no secret longings that caused me to be resentful. Even though we were only friends it was obvious that we were growing to something more and I was actually looking forward to that.
Which brings me to my current situation, I'm sitting at the picnic table bored completely out of my mind. I was helping Gemma, but she needed 'a minute' with Unser so I'm hanging out here. The last time I heard from Josh was roughly two and a half hours ago when he said they were heading into the chapel. I pulled out my phone aimlessly checking it to see if I missed any texts. I hadn't, so I sighed and closed my phone. I stared out aimlessly into the parking lot of the garage. At that time three bikes pulled up and I turned my head to look in a different direction. I knew Jax was one of them, I could tell by the way he pulled into the lot. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that I was watching for him. My phone rang, thankfully saving me from what was beginning to be an awkward situation for me.
"Hey sunshine, what are you up too?" The smile was instantly on my face. He had perfect timing. My heart started beating heavily.
"Hey Josh, you know I think I need to come up with some gooey nickname for you, like sugar bear. Calling you Josh all the time gets boring. Maybe I should start calling you Joshua." He gave me a deep chuckle that caused my stomach to do flips.
"Ah no I don't think so. Do I look like a sugar bear to you,...Never mind ; don't answer, lets go back to my original question before you have me contemplating the pros and cons of this nickname nonsense. What are you doing?" I started to pick at the picnic table, subtly letting the world around me fade away. That's what I liked so much about Josh. Our conversations made everything else drift away. He was so different than what I was used too and I found myself slowly getting addicted to the feeling.
"Sitting at the picnic table, bored out of my mind." It was the truth. With Gem talking to Unser about God knows what, I at least had ten minutes to myself.
"You weren't joking, you really are at that place a lot. I bet your mom misses the hell out of you. Why don't you go out with some of your friends or something. Get away from that garage for awhile."
"What the smell of axel grease doesn't turn you on?" He laughed again. I felt that now familiar pull to the apex of my thighs. That's something else that was new that I wasn't used too, granted I've been turned on before but not like this. I mean just simple things he says, gets my stomach turned into knots.
"On you I bet it smells amazing, on my brothers it's another story." Now it was my turn to smile.
" Aww that's so sweet, I bet you're really sexy covered in axel grease." I quickly shook the image out of my head before I said something I couldn't take back."Now back to the subject, I don't have any friends really just Jax, Opie and you." I found myself smiling as I thought about our friendship. And that's what we were right now, was just friends.. .Even if it was a friendship filled with a lot of flirting and innuendos. I was glad he came into my life, even if it's only a friendship we would end up having. In my head I imagined him kicked back in a chair with his legs propped up, smoking a cigarette. I felt that stir in my belly again and the mere thought of him seemed to be getting to me.
"Maybe that's the problem doll face. You're only friends with guys. You need a girl you can go get your hair or nails done with. Or hell someone to go shopping with, do girl shit with I don't know." I could see him shaking his head, putting out his cigarette.
"Well there is Donna..." I sort of let my voice trail off. Even though things were good with me and Donna, I found myself on edge when we hung out, it was like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've never been friends with a girl before, things were much more complicated. Our friendship was so great, even if at one point I envisioned her dead or a liar. If nothing else, our friendship was the one good thing that came out of mine and Ope's imaginary love story. To be honest, I'm kind of glad she now knows about my thing for Opie, it makes things a lot easier on me. I'm not tripping over what I'm saying or worried I will say the wrong thing. I know a part of me will always love him and I'm okay with that, but I know my next great love will be with someone who loves me back. Someone who treats me like a queen. Someone who loves me the way Clay loves Gemma.
"Opie's old lady...Donna? Yeah I think that's her name, there you go call her. Go get your nails done or something, get out of that garage for awhile. You need a break from that place." I started to pick the beds of my nails again out of habit. He had a point, I am here too much. I could call her, go out to eat and get our nails done. Or was it the thought of me surrounded by men all day that bothered him? Either way I didn't care...I needed a break from this place he was right. As soon as I hung up with him I would call Donna and see if she wanted to get out of the house for a little bit. Reality hit me like lead, I don't get paid until tomorrow.
"Well as good of an idea as that sounds, I can't. I'm lacking in the funds department at the moment." He stayed silent for a moment or two. That's something else I enjoyed, our silences never felt awkward or uncomfortable. I didn't trip over myself to fill the void, we could just stay like that until the other started talking.
"Hey sunshine I gotta go for a little bit. I'll talk to you later." I hung up the phone and stared at it for a few minutes. That was odd, normally he gave me time to say goodbye before he hung up. Maybe an emergency popped up.i shrugged my shoulders. I would just have to let it be for awhile.
I went back to the office and threw myself into these damn papers. I tried not to look at my phone or acknowledge that Josh hadnt called me or texted me in three hours. I also tried not to envision him in a heated gun fight or lying in a ditch dead somewhere. See that's one of my faults. I know it's anxiety. I constantly image the worst when I don't hear from someone or something new is thrown in the mix. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. The doctors prescribed me different medications but I don't like them. I don't feel like myself. I took one more deep breath and found myself slightly calmed down. What was so urgent that he hung up like that? Better yet why hadn't he called or texted me to let me know that everything was okay. Something didn't seem right and to be honest, it was rattling my cages. Gemma could tell something was up but I guess sensed it was best to stay quiet for now. Maybe she was giving me the opportunity to speak up, but right now I didn't feel up to it. The Prince decided to add to my already uneasy stomach by strolling in the office with a big smile on his face. He sat on the edge of the desk facing me. Of course when I 100% don't want to deal with him, he is practically in my face. Great so much for trying to get my nerves under control.
"Hey I need to run some things by you. Do you have a minute?" I swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my stomach and nodded. He gave me his famous award winning smirk and hopped off of the desk. What does he have to talk to me about that he doesn't want to bring up in front of his mom? The lead like feeling increased.
"Great, let's take a walk." I pretended not to notice the perk in his demeanor as I followed him out. Oh how I envy him. The man never seems to have a care in the world, he usually has a happiness about him that I wished I had. I walked towards the picnic table, causing him to raise his eyebrow. I guess he wanted to take an actual Walk. I rolled my eyes and walked back towards him.
"So is everything okay?" My insides seemed to melt and the tears started to spill but I quickly reigned them back in. Nope, we weren't on this level anymore. I couldn't spill my guts at him merely asking if I'm okay. I had to pull it together. I took a deep breath and brought myself back down to a normal level.
"I'm great, what's up?" He ran a hand through his hair and aimlessly kicked up the gravel. I could tell he was contemplating what to say. I stayed quiet, not even attempting to offer a lifesaver of a conversation starter. Things never used to be so tense between us. My heart hurt at this notion.
"So uh Ope and Donna are supposed to be walking down the aisle soon.. well in a couple of months. Ope said that she wants to do the wedding before she gets too big. I wanted to be sure you'd still be down to plan the bachelor party. I mean I understand if you say no, because I know we're kind of not speaking right now really." I looked off into the parking lot, holding in my laughter. It's not often that Jax Teller fumbles from being nervous but it was nice to be the cause. I'm glad I made him nervous, let him feel how I felt these last couple of months.
"Yes Jackson of course I will help. Opies my best friend too so it's kind of my job." He let out a big breath. The smile appeared back on his face.
"Great, that takes a load off of my shoulders. I know we're not doing so well bc I'm a dick and in sorry." My phone chirped, breaking my concentration. Okay that has to be Josh, I'll read it real fast then return my attention to Jax. Only the text wasn't from Josh, it was from the bank.
New account balance:$347.50
uhhhmmm excuse me?!; That's about $345.00 too much! I looked at Jax with a quizzical look and then back at my phone. Why in the hell is there money on my card? I know my paycheck didn't hit early.
"Uhmmn Jax, I'm going to have to finish this conversation later. I have to figure out why I have an unexpected deposit to my bank." He rubbed his beard as if he was thinking about what to say.
"Okay but we got to get shit straight. I miss you Faith." I nodded a d turned and started to walk back towards the office. My mind obviously somewhere else
"Hey now that I think about it Juice did ask me if you still used your bank."
"And why would Juice need to know that?" Jax shrugged his shoulders and i went to find me a Puerto Rican.
a/n: new chapter! Sorry about the wait. Christmas is an extremely busy time when you're a mom. Let me know what you think!?