I was sitting in the office, typing in all of the reciepts from the last few days when I heard the loud rumble of motorcycles. Around this place it was nothing new so I put my head back into the screen. Normally this was Gemma's job, but she's at the salon getting her hair styled. Probably colored and cut too knowing her, so I could be here awhile. My day wasn't going too badly though, its already one. I'm normally done with my day at three to four depending on how bad we were backed up. I still haven't taken my lunch break so there's a half hour of my time. I just had two and a half hours to go and then I am homefree. Thankfully I didn't have any plans after work. I'm just going to go home, make dinner and then binge watch scary movies. I had a heavy day tomorrow.I'm trying to keep it as low key as possible for that reason. I had to take my disastrous dress to the cleaners, go put a down payment on the hall for the reception, go with Donna to Stockton to try on dresses. The wedding was in two months. She said she wanted it before she got too big but she might have to move it up. She's roughly 14 weeks pregnant now and already got quite a belly on her. I found myself looking as forward to her appointments as she was. She's only had three so far but normally she called me not long after .There's so much excitement for my little niece or nephew to be here. I wanted to start buying clothes but Donna said to wait a few more weeks until we found out the sex. Honestly since meeting Josh a few weeks ago, I found myself so much more excited for Donna and Ope. Part of me thinks its because I had finally let him go. The leading up to this part hurt like hell but I'm glad i am finally here. I wanted to be happy for my two best friends. I wanted to not feel jealousy when I stared at Donna's growing stomach or as I helped with the wedding plans. I'm glad that I was finally able to feel that way. It sure took awhile but god it felt good to have the weight off of my chest.
A flash of movement in the window caused me to look up and my heart dropped in my stomach. Happy and Josh were standing in the garage talking to Lowell and Kyle. Lowell shrugged his shoulders at whatever Happy had said but Kyle had taken two steps back from Josh; what was that about? I knew that Kyle had come back from the run beat the hell up pretty bad but I had assumed it was from Happy. Didn't Josh tell me that Happy was acting like he wanted to add another smiley face? That part made sense, Hap was extremely protective of me since I told him about Kyle. But that didn't explain why Kyle was four steps back from Josh and seemingly only talking to Happy. If someone kicked my ass, brother or not, I definitely wouldn't be smiling and talking to them. So whats the deal here? Josh raised his hand to push up his sunglasses and Kyle flinched, like visibly flinched. He leaned down and placed his hands up to block his face. My eyebrow raised. Josh just gave him that full teeth smile that I loved so much and placed a hand on his shoulder. I got up from the desk and moved closer to the window to get a better view. It was then that Kyle pointed towards the office window, where i was standing. I had just gotten caught being nosy.
Josh turned and looked right at me and my heart that was previously in my stomach fell to my feet. I was still mad at him for what he did but damn seeing him felt good. My blood heated at the sight of him. I found myself wanting to smile. I quickly shook it off. This thing with us was over as much as it broke my heart. It was for the better. I pushed my hair out of my face and despite my gaze moving, his didn't. I turned back towards him and he was still facing me. I stalked away from the window and sat back at the desk. No one, not even Josh, had said anything about him and Hap coming down. So why was he here? As sad as i was about things ending between us, I was still glad to see him. I went back to my filing, trying to pretend that he wasn't still staring at me. I could tell that he was hurt by my voicemail, as a matter of fact he has called me six times since I left the voicemail. Well really since he got the voicemail like an hour later. I hadn't answered, trying for a nice clean break. I smiled to myself though it was without humor. We weren't even a couple and yet we had broken up.
The door opening brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up and my eyes locked with the warm chocolate ones that caused my insides to flip. He made his way over to the desk and sat in the chair next to it. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt like i couldn't breathe. I wasn't sure what to say. I knew i had to say something though.
"Hey..." Oh god that's all I could think of. I wanted to smack my forehead. The smell of his cologne filled my nose and I felt my insides relax.
"Hey," he said in the quiet way that told me he wanted me to speak first. Only I didn't know what to say. I was right in my actions to break things off. I didn't want secrets between us. Was it the beat reason? No. But if this thing was long term, it was better to be fixed now. I wanted to pull him into my arms and squeeze him but that was no longer an option. Why were relationships so hard?
"Look I'm sorry Josh but I'm not having secrets. I can't be that old lady that never knows what's going on. I am the type of girl who constantly worries when she doesn't get a call that every thing is fine. I'm the type of girl that calls just to see how your day is going. I won't be okay with road pieces. I have to be the only one or nothing at all. I'm not a fool Josh. I know you guys do some bad shit but I need to know. If we're not all in then i would rather be out. I'm sorry, i guess I'm not old lady material. I can't allow certain shit to fly. You were right. I am different and that difference that drew you to me is going to be the end of us. It was better this happened now." He put his hand under his chin. His index finger under that gorgeous bottom lip and his thumb rested on his chin. The movement brought my eyes to his lips and I was surprised just how much I wanted to kiss him. I had to look anywhere else. I stared at his neck and the throbbing vein there caused my own veins to throb. I had to divert my thoughts before I grabbed him by the hoodie and kissed him. I was surprised at how easy the words just flew out of my mouth. I found talking to Josh was easy though. It had been that way from the start. Its one of the reasons why I was so attracted to him. I could just be myself. I didn't have to worry about secrets or afraid I'd let too much of myself show.
"Okay. I wasn't trying to be secretive. I was trying to be considerate. A good...shit i was going to say boyfriend but we're not there yet. That's all i was trying to do was brighten your day the way talking to you brightens mine. I can't believe you called yourself a whore. That's the last thing i would think of you as. This is the last thing I imagined when I did this yesterday. Why couldn't you just talk to me about this instead of ending shit? Is this how its going to be." He reached out and grabbed ny hand. He turned to face me, his eyes giving me the look of a sad puppy.
"I really like you Josh. I do. It scares me just how much. I constantly checky my phone, hoping that you've texted. That's not the kind of person I am. I haven't really done the relationship thing, all of this is new to me. You're right. I should have talked to you but I was scared. I was scared because of how I feel for you, I knew you'd say something and make me change my mind." He started to play with my fingers, lightly caressing each finger then tracing them. I could tell he was contemplating on what to say.
"This," he raised up my hand so it was in the air. "Is new to me too. I drove all the way out here just to try to make shit right. I asked Lee for a few days to try to figure shit out between us. He was shocked to say the least, I haven't ever asked for anything like this. That should tell you I'm serious." I nodded, staring down at our intertwined hands. I wasn't sure what to say. I should have known he was here for me when I saw him in the garage but being that Happy was with him I wasn't sure.
"How come Happy is with you?" I know it probably seemed like I blew off his entire statement but I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I wanted him, I knew that. In the past my judgement hasn't been all that good. Was being with Josh really what I wanted?
"He found out I was coming down and wanted to come with." I started to trace his fingers, my blood was starting to heat my whole body up sitting this close to him and now actually touching him it was making that ache in my stomach worse.
"So uh, what happened with Kyle?" He looked up at me, the sadness gone from his eyes. It was replaced with a curiosity. His lips twitched with a smile.
"Why did he say something to you?" Now it was my turn to smile. It looks like Kyle's reaction did have a reason. I guess we are about to find out just how much he was wanting to make this work.
"No, I've been sticking to myself though, not really giving anyone the chance to speak to me." He nodded amd stared off at the garage through the window. "What happened Josh?" He sighed and pulled his hand out of his. He ran his hand over his face and let out a loud exhale. He stayed quiet for a few minutes, meanwhile my heart was pounding like crazy. This was it, the moment of truth. If he told me the truth of what happened, that told me that we could work. That I could trust him to be truthful to me in the future. If he didn't, I couldn't work around that. Here it goes, time to see if our relationship will work.
"I couldn't get the sound of your voice when you talked about Kyle out of my head. The night we met, you played it off nonchalantly like it didn't bother you. Your eyes though, I seen the spark of fear in them. I didn't say anything then. The first time we talked on the phone. I deliberately asked about Kyle to hear your reaction without looking at you. I figured I could hear the truth in your voice because not only was I not looking at you but I had just woken you up. You stayed silent for over a minute and I had to bring it up again to break the silence. You cracked a joke and then proceeded like it was no big deal, but thst silence for even a minute told me more than you were willing to say. You're scared of him. I didn't like not knowing if something worse would happen when I wasn't around so i handled it. Its done." My breath came out in a whoosh and i started to fidget with my own hands. How did he know? When I've worked so hard for it not to show. My eyes started to water and I quickly shook it off. No I wasn't going to cry. Why was it this man that i have barely known for a month was able to see through all my bullshit facades but not my two best friends for over a decade?
"How," I cleared my throat. "How were you able to tell?" He turned and gave me one of his beautiful smiles. That seemed to dry the tears right up and I almost found myself smiling.
"You're damn good at hiding your emotions but I got a knack for that shit. I'm quiet so I'm able to observe. Don't worry, I doubt anyone else has ever noticed, well maybe Happy. He's good at picking up on shit too." I rolled my eyes and shoved him lightly. I got up and stood in front of his chair.
"You think you have me all figured out don't you?" He shrugged.
"Not all the way but i have a pretty good idea."
I leaned in and kissed him. Now that I could tell caught him off guard because it took him a minute to react. He pulled me into his lap and deepened the kiss. I ran my hands through his hair as his hands roamed on my body. I felt like my skin was on fire. His lips moved from my lips , down my jaw line to my neck and I felt like I was going to explode. Thankfully, before I started to grind on him like a dog in heat, he moved back to my lips. I caught his bottom lip with mine and lightly sucked on it. He threw his head back and his hands went under the back of my shirt. I hoped that I was doing this right. He didn't seem to mind. Its not like i had a lot of experience in this department. His hands began to trace the outlines of my back pockets. I personally think he was trying to feel on my ass without getting yelled at but he never actually grabbed a handful so to say. I actually appreciated him. He was being respectful of my boundaries and around here that's rare. Out the window i saw Gem's caddy pull up. So i quickly made my way back to the desk to finish my work, or at least make it look like it. He looked at me obviously confused.
"Did I do..."
Gem walked into the office and took off her sunglasses. She looked from Josh to me and gave me a knowing smile. Meanwhile I did my best not to look at him because I knew I would give it away. I caught him out of the corner of my eye and thankfully his confused look was gone.
"Hey baby, I'm here now if you want to go." I looked at her skeptically. Gemma wasn't the type to let me go early.
"Are you sure Gem? I know its pretty busy today and I'm off tomorrow." She looked at Josh. Then back at me with her smug smile. What was her end game here?
"Oh yeah I'm sure. Don't forget, I'm doing a dinner tomorrow." Shit! I had forgot.
"I actually did forget. What do you need me to bring?" She seemed to think it over or maybe she was just judging the situation between Josh and I. She stayed quiet for a few minutes and my heart was beating out of my chest.
"Want to bring dessert? I know Clay is fond of your pies." I held in my exhale becaude as much as I wanted to do it, it would have set off a red flag in Gemma's book.
"I can do that Gem. I'll bring chocolate, butterscotch, and the banana pudding one he likes so much. You sure you're okay with me leaving?"
"Its not every day your man comes down to see you. That is what he is now right? Go have fun." Well that was weird. Josh and I walked out of the office and he pulled me towards his bike.
"What are you doing?" He grinned at me and kept tugging me until we got there. I could tell he was more than happy that I got released early.
"Let's go for a ride." I shrugged my shoulders and said what the hell. Riding was Jax and my thing but its time for something new.
There's nothing that can compare to the feeling of being on the back of a bike. It was freeing. All of your problems just lost in the wind. Despite my better judgement, i took my hair down. The wind whipping my hair all around, even with it hitting me in the face it was amazing! I loved feeling the breeze blow through it, even if it meant endless tangles later. I had no idea how long we had been riding but i didn't care. This was the best i have felt in a long time, maybe i should have taken Jax up on the offer a time or two just to clear my head. Josh sped up and let go of the handlebars. He spread his arms wide causing me to laugh. He quickly put them back on. There was no one around but us so there was no real danger. The next time he did it though, we seen flashing cherries behind us. Great, just what we needed. A run in with the cops. Josh pulled over to the side of the road and started digging in his pockets for his wallet. He had his license and registration for his bike out before the cop had approached.
The officer walked up to the bike and Josh handed him his papers. He went back to his car to run his information. Josh seemed at ease so I felt okay too. Obviously he didn't have a warrant or anything because I doubt he would be so calm and collected. The officer was back in under five minutes. The realization that he might have pot on him caused a deep worry but if he wasn't worried, I shouldn't be either right?
"I need you to step off of the bike sir." Josh raised an eyebrow but put up the kickstand and got off. He turned to help me off to ensure I didn't fall off of the bike. I brushed my jeans off to keep my emotions in check. This was not good. If nothong was wrong, he should have brought his stuff back and we would be on our way.
"What's going on?" The cop took his glasses off and sneered in our direction . He didn't look familiar to me but I don't know many of the officers other than Unser and Candy. He had thick black hair that shone in the light, whether it was just naturally like that or greasy i have no idea. He had a thin pencil moustache. He had a slim build but not enough that he seemed to be bowed over easily.
"You sons act like your God's gift but you're nothing but fucking trash..You ride around here like you're hot shit but irs not going to fly with me. The citizens of Charming should be glad that I was on duty when you pulled your little 'no hands' stunt." Josh tried to hide his amusement as he ran a hand down hia face. I on the other hand wasn't pleased.
"That's discrimination. You can't pull him over because you don't like his cut. Sorry copper that's not how this works." He turned to look in my direction. I crossed my arms over my chest. He looked me up and down and gave me a sick smile. Josh reached out and grabbed his shirt. I tried to pull him back but Josh easily shrugged out of my grasp.
"Hey. Don't look at her. I don't give a damn if she speaks to you but you don't look at her ever." He snatched himself out of Josh's grasp.
"So lets see here we got reckless endangerment, assaulting an officer. What's next pretty boy?"
"Reckless endangerment my ass. There's no one out here but us!" I took a step closer to him but Josh reached out and grabbed my arm. Officer turned towards me again and stared right ar my chest. I knew he was provoking Josh now so I wrapped myself around his arm. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
"Sure looked reckless to me, riding a bike without a helmet, letting go of your handlebars. This little lady mouthing to me she needed help. They're going to like you in jail pretty boy." I stepped in front of Josh. I took a step towards the cop. I ran my finger down his cheek and he started to grin.
"I did no such thing. I knew I was okay. You know I find it funny that you keep calling him pretty but honey he's mine so you're going to have to back off."
"I guess biker sluts gotta stick by their man huh? That's okay honey, don't no one want a girl nastty enough to fuck one of them." That's when my fist connected with his nose and Josh pulled me off of him. To be honest looking back on it now i realize that moment there was what landed me in the back of the squad car. Officer Dejesus, I sae his name tag as he swooped me up by the arm and led me to the squad car. I was barely in the car when Josh showed up at the window and grabbed him up.
"You little pussy, you want me. Don't take this out on her. You want me over this kutte then your beef is with me." Josh was shoved into the car and his face bounced off of the car. I winced for him. He was threw in the car with me and his head landed in my lap. He sat up with a grin on his face.
"Helluva first date huh?" I smiled and looked down at my hands then back up at him.
"The best."
a÷n: new chapter. This story isnt getting reviews again im not sure why. I have plans in mind for her and Josh and a sort of big reveal in the next chapter so until next time kiddos.