Note on the words formatted as (this) or (this) are corrections made by Vanya on her entries. Strikethrough doesn't seem possible on this site.

Chapter title is from the same song title by Caamp

Vanya

May 26, (2019) 2012

I was still getting used to the date. It was kinda funny, actually. I could only imagine how Five was faring with writing down the date year—but that was Five.

Speaking of Five, I wondered where he went every time he left. Allison pointed out that it was going on for almost as early as the first week we were here. Klaus thought it was a secret lady. I wasn't sure why he thought so because, again, that was Five.

His cat got a name now. Unsurprisingly, he called her Dolores, but the cat had several names at this point that it would depend on who was addressing her. I called her Mrs. Pennycrumb. I believed she liked it.

May 28, 2012

I got my online accounts set up. Stark said it would help with our public image; we didn't have to be active, he said, just visible enough to acclimate the people with our presence through the internet. Allison helped me with Instagram and Twitter. Klaus helped me with Facebook that he claimed was better because it had these 'memes'. Oh, and he started calling me 'Vanny' after a slip-up that he just kept making. He never had any nickname for me before. It was nice.

Ben introduced me to this website where you could post original fiction. Worth checking out tomorrow.

May 29, 2012

I didn't notice it with all that happened to us in the last few weeks, but… Luther and I hadn't talked yet. No direct interaction whatsoever. It wasn't until we got left alone in the room that I noticed he was awkward and tense around me. He looked like he wanted to say something, and that was when I remembered that we were yet to say a word to each other.

Were we both so disconnected from each other that I hardly noticed it too?

May 30, 2012

Luther apologized to me. We talked. A lot. He said sorry for a lot of things, for what happened before the Apocalypse and the time it took him to muster up the courage to speak to me. To be honest, the memory of him locking me up seemed so distant. Some part of me didn't want to forgive him, and the thing was, I knew Luther would accept that. He said he just wanted to apologize and work for my forgiveness. I didn't say anything back, but I knew in my heart that I already forgave him.

May 31, 2012

I felt like playing today. Ben said he would gather the others. I was nervous.

June 1, 2012

I was glad they liked it. I thought I'd be rusty (I still thought I was). I noticed Stark yawning halfway. He was embarrassed when Pepper pinched him awake. I didn't mind. I thought that was proof enough that there was no influence coming from my playing unlike in my audition before. Besides, it wasn't the kind of music for everyone.

I told Bruce that I was keeping a journal as he advised. In turn, he invited me to some morning meditation and to this tea house whose owner gave him the Valerian plant. I was curious about this place that he spoke highly of so I accepted.

Pepper asked me if it was okay to have my performance recorded next time. She said it could be my personal log of progress as well. Stark commented that Pepper just wanted to show me off to her side of the family so I should expect that she would ask my permission to upload the videos on YouTube next. Stark was incredulous when I told him I didn't know what this YouTube was.

June 2, 2012

I almost overslept after staying up watching cat videos on YouTube, and there were a lot.

Bruce sounded sheepish when he told me he might have set the time too early. Not really, and it was embarrassing to turn him down after I accepted last night. I told him the tea was welcomed against the few hours of sleep I had.

When we reached the tea house after a couple of blocks walk in the early morning that didn't have its usual rush yet, I understood now where the glowing recommendation came from. The place had this calming atmosphere that was almost out of place in the middle of the city. The air smelled of mildew, soil, and plants (must be the natural bamboos that decorated the interior), and while I wasn't a tea person, I could see myself visiting the place again.

Bruce was clearly close to the owner who I wasn't sure how to describe other than objectively pretty in an androgenous way with his long red hair and striking green eyes. He smiled at me warmly like it wasn't the first time he saw me. He said he heard of me from Bruce, who was a regular customer. Knowing I wasn't a big fan of tea, he served me something different from Bruce's. He said it was Hibiscus, and it wasn't as strong as I expected. I liked it.

Bruce was an unassuming man, but when he was in a relaxing space, he could talk a lot. I noticed it too when he first approached me with the small potted plant. Eventually, he shared about his area of study and bits of his college life. It was endearing in a way that he was practically a stranger to me who appeared to be having difficulty opening up (like me) but had no qualms sharing anecdotes. In turn, he asked me if I'd like to pursue a degree in contemporary arts or keep the interest as separate. I honestly didn't know how to answer him because I wasn't sure if we would still be around this world for as long as that. I did tell him of being interested in Literature, a major I took before.

He was easy to talk to, and given what a good listener he was, I might have told him some vague personal stuff, my relationship to my brothers and sister in particular. Bruce didn't pry, only listening to what I could tell him in passing. He must have known there was a strain between me and my siblings especially in the first few days we got here. Whether he noticed it or learned it through Pepper seeing as she was always encouraging me to be with the others, I couldn't say.

Bruce and I were still talking about random things when we returned to the tower. What I wasn't expecting though was encountering Luther by the elevator as if he was waiting for someone. He looked relieved when we arrived and I didn't know what to say to that other than greet him a good morning. He didn't say anything other than telling me there was breakfast.

Luther was acting weird since that morning. I thought it was because of that lingering awkwardness between us. He did ask me how my morning was with Bruce, though he looked like he wanted to ask more but was respectful of our current standing.

June 4, 2012

Diego insisted on coming along today to what became a morning routine with Bruce. I could tell that Bruce was surprised, but we both didn't mind. I was under the impression that Bruce didn't know how to approach the others aside from me. He did mention that Diego was the very first of us that he encountered.

Diego barely spoke to me, his attention on Bruce mostly as if wary around him. It was a bit uncomfortable especially with Bruce trying his best to be conversational with him. Diego was often grunting or huffing out his clipped replies with his arms crossed defensively. It would have been funny if I wasn't so clueless why he was acting almost hostile around Bruce.

While I thought Diego and I were more civil with each other this time around compared to, uh, before, it was uncharacteristic of him to be this close to me. Actually, he and Luther seemed to be uncharacteristic these days. It was a bit concerning, to be honest.

The tea house owner said nothing on the addition of Diego, though he did smile serenely at Diego. Diego, however, mistakenly called him a 'Miss', much to the owner's amusement and Diego's mortification when he was gently corrected.

June 6, 2012

I could tell that Diego wasn't big on tea as well, and yet he remained tagging along. Still weird but no one minded so there was that.

Bruce's efforts to make Diego feel included became fruitful when Diego started to relax around him, enough to make idle conversations with each other and show open curiosity to each other's interests. Bruce was particularly intrigued at the extent of Diego's ability that he told them a hypothesis that he had. He asked Diego specifically if Diego's power was actually manipulating air to a considerable degree. Suffice to say, it was the first time I saw Diego altogether speechless, confused, and impressed.

I could tell it was weighing on him when we got back, though as to how he could make sure what he was truly capable of, he would need further assistance to discover it. Stark would certainly help. If it turns out that Diego had some other hidden abilities, I wouldn't be surprised. I wondered if all of us have more than one too. Five already discovered that he could travel not only through time but also to other dimensions. Allison and Ben were so far developing improved versions of their powers: Allison could concentrate her intent to a specific individual if she wished to, while Ben's creatures were seemingly larger in number than what he used to have. As for Klaus, I knew he was avoiding using his powers; Luther, meanwhile, didn't mention any development with his.

I wondered if mine also had another aspect of it. I did appreciate that my family was doing their best to help me get a proper grasp on what I currently possess, but it scared me at the same time to discover what I was truly capable of once I got a handle on my ability. So far, it was only effective in destroying what had been a huge part of my life.

June 7, 2012

Diego told me that Bruce wasn't so bad. My confusion must have shown when he elaborated that, like Luther, he was worried. Diego told me that he judged Bruce unfairly when he was nice to me and nothing more and—oh, I finally got where he was coming from.

I thanked him for his concern. It was touching.

July 2, 2012

Huh, it was almost a month since I last wrote. A couple of notable things happened, but it was mainly because I forgot to write during the evenings.

Ben got this idea of film showing after dinner. He took a liking to movies that he didn't run out of titles that he wanted to watch with us. I liked watching with him especially when his eyes would light up explaining to me where he discovered a particular film or which actor and actresses were which. His interest in movies, however, wasn't one shared by all. (Stark) Tony then got an idea to 'spice up' (his own words) the after-dinner hours with a variety of activities.

We had game nights every week, and there were two kinds: the game night where it was a board or party games, and then there was the video game night. Five, Allison, Klaus, Pepper, and Bruce (if he was around) often trampled the rest of us with the first kind, while Ben, Diego, and Tony topped us when it came to video games. Luther and I were comfortably faring alright on both, and it wasn't so bad when you were struggling with someone. Don't get me wrong; we both enjoyed it.

Eventually, my violin was also roped into the game when it was Guitar Hero where Tony would be on the drums and Diego on the guitar. I was sure at first that the melody would clash with the drums and the guitar that wasn't quite a guitar but, surprisingly, we made a pretty good ensemble? Allison thought so too, and, according to her, so were the people who watched the live stream.

While Pepper might have told me in passing that Tony was spending less time in his workshop, it didn't mean that he completely abandoned his innovations. He would lock himself up at times in his workshop and emerge after a few hours revealing small inventions that he would let us try. Two weeks ago, he unveiled a creation that had been in the works for quite at least a month, a small tube-like object that was the size of a mug. Tony claimed that it could play any song depending on one's mood. There was a lot of scientific jargon that actually made Five intrigued by its mechanism.

It worked. Terrifyingly so that it didn't see the light again the following day.

The latest object was something less-invasive than the radio that could read brain waves and patterns. It was similar to a polaroid camera on the outside, except its main feature was that it could show a person's appearance when aged twenty years based on a facial scan conducted by a sophisticated AI installed in it.

You could imagine how it turned out. And, yes, it wasn't easy to pretend to be surprised and in awe at the person in the photo when it was almost exactly what you looked like a few months ago. It was unsettling, in a way, to stare at your own previous image. We did keep them as if an unspoken unanimous decision that the pictures would be our reminder that there was still a world and a life out there that we were bound to return to someday.

I realized that it was Five who had the most peculiar reaction to it as he studied his photo in a corner away from us. For once, he looked tired and distant as if his age showed for a split-second before he carefully tucked the picture away for safekeeping.

I wondered right there and then if it was because he had forgotten how he looked like when he had been living in the Apocalyptic future alone. Did he see himself or a different person?

July 4, 2012

Pepper brought us to the Smithsonian where a designated section was for the Captain America Exhibit. It was kinda odd to see Mr. Rogers's history as a man larger than life when the man himself would have breakfasts or lunches with us whenever he could, sometimes catching up on pop culture that he missed out on or blatantly struggling with the modern-day technology.

Luther was the closest to Mr. Rogers, followed closely by Diego when he started joining them for jogs, which was why their fascination with Captain America's tale and accomplishment was expected. What was unexpected though was Klaus's almost enraptured reaction to the replaying video clip about Captain America's combat unit during the war and a brother-at-arms that had also been a best friend.

I didn't miss the way Klaus reached for his chest as if clutching for something that was supposed to be there but was dismayed to not find it. I approached his side while the others were scattered, and I believed I made the right call when the next thing I knew, Klaus was embracing my shoulders with one arm as he rested his head against mine.

He asked me to stay that way for a moment while he reminisced, and while I had several questions running in my head, I quietly let him. His warmth grew on me, brief as it was, and he apologized and then explained that he was overtaken by nostalgia.

His sorry left quite an impression on me that gave me the courage to confront him about it later that night. I thought I made the wrong move when his face shuttered at the question, though he eventually sighed and told me to sit down because it was going to be a long story.

It was indeed a long story, one with time travel and short-lived happiness that Klaus said he had for the first time. Coming from him, I knew it wasn't a simple claim. I realized that no one knew about Dave aside from me and Ben, and Klaus had a lot to share about this wonderful man who had nothing but bravery, loyalty, and kindness. Dave sounded like someone that I wanted to meet in person too, and Klaus told me that Dave would have wanted to know me as well.

Klaus's head was on my lap and with my fingers absently carding his hair by the time he fell asleep in the middle of recounting how he escaped an armed dealer he cheated on money as retaliation when the guy had previously conned him. I was too tired to move him, and our position was comfortable enough for me to just lean back and follow Klaus to sleep on the couch.

Someone pulled a blanket over us in the middle of the night, and I must have been dreaming because I thought it was an unknown man glowing blue—yes, blue. I couldn't even make out his face. I woke up again, and it was to Pepper slipping a soft pillow on my back.

July 10, 2012

Five unexpectedly told us that we needed to go out more. Of course, Tony needled him about it and pointed out that 'it has to come from the old man'. If only Tony knew how spot-on he was.

Pepper wasn't around to accompany us, but Happy was more than happy (pun not intended) to drive us around the city. We could tell that he was excited to show us around after our few months of stay. We ate out in this huge park under the pleasant weather like most of the people around. It felt… normal.

Happy told us that he was friends with Tony and Pepper for years now and shared several instances where he had to drag Tony home, indecent and drunk, before he even met Pepper to set him straight. Happy expressed his initial reluctance to be an honorary bodyguard to a superhero, though now that Tony had Pepper and us, he might as well be doing his job. He sounded so earnest that no one wanted to argue that, like Tony, we didn't need one.

We went to populated places (mostly), and we were still recognized despite how the buzz after the press con dwindled down. Happy was quick to herd us away from any prying eyes and forming crowds though.

Our last stop was to this worn-looking brownstone in the middle of a street that Five specified. Five requested that Happy pick us up after an hour or two. Happy was hesitant to leave us, but he was due to pick up Pepper from work as well so he promised to return.

It was like a museum inside, filled with relics and with an enigmatic charm. There was a woman waiting for us. Five appeared to know her well, then it clicked—this was the place Five would often disappear to. Klaus was somehow correct that there was a lady. A monk, to be precise.

Oh, and the place was magical too. That was the most succinct and accurate description I could think of after we crossed the world halfway within a few steps and a couple of stairs. It was… quite an experience. Like a historical field trip, I guess. Given the kind of lives we led, the mystical aspect of the visit was new in a not-exactly-unfamiliar and surprising way.

Our kind host invited us to visit again when we could, and, should we be interested, tell her if we were curious to learn a little of this universe's brand of sorcery. If it came from anyone else, I frankly wouldn't have taken it seriously, although Five looked like he was interested.

Hmm. Could magic help my powers?

July 27, 2012

We had donuts last night at this newly-opened place around the block. It was no Griddy's, but Five slipping us there in the middle of the night was like how we used to do it back then until our stomach hurt from eating too many donuts.

Five asked me how I was doing and told him that I was fine and… happy, I suppose. I asked him the same question and he simply shrugged and noncommittally mentioned that no Apocalypse easily trumped any situation.

I was used to Five distancing himself from us. He was the oldest person in the room since he returned, older than Tony and Pepper even, but when he privately smiled at how Klaus ridiculously fit in three munchkins in his mouth, I liked to believe that he was around our age that night. Like we were all thirteen again.

I was happy that Five found kindred spirits in Tony and Bruce, and a casual interest in Tony's trinkets that I found him one time examining a piece of tiny machinery that was as large as a wristwatch in the shape of a small cube. Sometimes, Diego was beside him, poking and fascinated in what Five was tinkering, much to Five's annoyance. They were fun to watch together with Mrs. Pennycrumb slumbering by their feet.

August 13, 2012

We started a regular skill test of sorts this month. Tony vehemently expressed his disapproval of doing anything that involved bodily harm to test if, for example, someone among us was not susceptible to fire or electricity. For now, it was similar to routine training.

It was a slow pace to most of them, but Allison in particular wasn't complaining, taking up the task for herself to personally refresh my self-defense knowledge and teach me more.

My body ached afterward. Ugh. Allison wasn't going easy on me.

August 25, 2012

Ben suggested that I try going out without the earphones today. A bit difficult to tune out the noise but I was getting there. I did live for years with all this noise. I needed to adapt, and it was bound to be a gradual process. Baby steps, Ben said.

I just noticed that I am writing pretty far in between. Oh, well.

September 10, 2012

Fanfiction seemed to be a big deal in the internet communities, like fan arts, and I could see the appeal of writing and reading this kind of story. I tried reading one and found that it was unique, for the lack of better term.

I thought I saw a tag dedicated to The Avengers. I wasn't sure if I should be clicking on it despite the feeling that there would be a point of no return.

September 11, 2012

I probably wouldn't be visiting soon that fanfiction website I accidentally came across.

YouTube, though, was proven to be therapeutic with its content of cute kittens and puppies. I also discovered a channel with simple cooking tutorials that I think I could follow easily. Need to ask Pepper for tips as well.

September 14, 2012

I guess I wasn't the only one who wanted to try cooking. Luther had beaten me to it when it came to asking Pepper. Pepper thought our timing was too amusing to be a coincidence.

We made tornado omelet rice together. It turned out salty but more room for improvement as we were assured.

September 30, 2012

Tomorrow would be our birthday, and Tony and Pepper were busy.

I remembered our 13th birthday where Mom baked us this one large cake with seven candles. I loved it, and it would have been a perfect day if the others hadn't been suddenly dragged away by a mission. I remembered blowing seven candles on my own and eating a slice with Pogo because Mom couldn't.

Luther and I assisted with the baking and the fruit salad. There was something satisfying with preparing your own birthday food to be served to others. Luther must have through the same when he grinned at me at the fluffy cake we managed to produce between us.

I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

October 1, 2012

It was our birthday. I didn't really have anything else to say other than it was one of the days I considered special and memorable to me.

Allison took a lot of pictures, and I discovered that she was collecting them since she got a hand on a camera. She told me that she was planning to keep an album and that when we returned to our world she would get to show it to Claire.

We each got more than one gift, and I haven't even finished unwrapping all of mine.

I had a good day.

October 15, 2012

Klaus was acting weird—weirder than usual. I thought I was imagining it until Ben asked me directly if Klaus mentioned anything. Klaus didn't, but I could understand Ben's concern; he knew Klaus the best compared to the rest of us.

Yesterday, Klaus asked if he could borrow the Valerian plant Bruce gave me. I did find Klaus's request as odd but lent him the plant which he sniffed deeply at the moment I handed it to him. He suddenly claimed that it wasn't it.

I told Ben this just to be safe. Ben groaned and thought Klaus was close to having a relapse, though he was clueless as to why.

I hoped Klaus was okay, and that he would tell us if he wasn't.

October 18, 2012

Ben found Klaus levitating this morning while still asleep.

I guess that answered the question.

TBC