Monday, September 30th, 2013 – Blackwell Academy: Hallway
Kate's reddened eyes are downcast as she walks down the hallway after leaving Mrs. Grant's Chemistry class. She looks up only to avoid plowing into other students as they hustle and bustle from one class to another.
Music blares through her headphones. Not True Faith... she removed that from her playlist the moment she got brave enough to unlock her phone. Despite the pleasant memories of her first meeting with Victoria, she'll probably never listen to that song again.
Victoria weeping under the harsh white lights, her hands and feet bound tightly by thick restraints.
It has been three days since Kate's nightmare. Specifically, the one where Victoria was in danger… the one where Kate's selfishness put Victoria in danger. She has been absolutely beside herself with shame and guilt ever since.
She's dreamt of being on the roof of the Girl's Dormitory twice more since then. Both times, she felt that same sensation of being in control of her body. Both times, it felt like God was making her choose. Herself… or Victoria.
Both times she jumped without hesitation. She didn't even look for Victoria in the crowd like she always did in her dreams… she was afraid to take the risk, afraid of how seeing that face and those eyes would make her feel. She just closed her eyes and jumped, keeping them tightly shut all the way down.
She desperately wants that to be the end of it. For the nightmare she experienced early Friday morning to just be a plain old bad dream brought on by the crushing disappointment she felt after confessing her feelings to Victoria, and being rejected.
Or, if it was truly a vision, if it was indeed a punishment brought on by Kate's rejection of her destiny, that it would be averted by Kate's willingness to leave this world when the time comes.
But… as these past three days have dragged on, that nagging sense of dread remained foremost in her mind.
What if… what if Kate already failed her test of faith, by refusing to die in her dream? What if God wasn't planning to give her an opportunity to redeem herself? After all, the feeling of terror and those horrible images haven't left her mind, despite Kate having jumped twice more since. What if Victoria was already paying the price for Kate's disobedience, and there is nothing Kate can do to stop it?
What if what if what if?
Kate wants to warn Victoria… but what would she say? That she had a dream that some vague but terrible fate was going to befall her? Oh, and by the way, she's been having dreams about her own suicide since she was thirteen years old, and Victoria is in those too, so if Kate has seemed a bit obsessed lately that's why?
Victoria would never believe her. She would think Kate was crazy.
And maybe… maybe Kate is going crazy. Because it feels like every time she closes her eyes, she sees Victoria bound and weeping under those harsh white lights. Every time she doesn't have something else to drown out the silence, she can hear Victoria's voice begging Kate to save her.
'Please don't hate me…
Please don't let me die in here…'
Kate could never imagine herself hating Victoria. And she won't let her die, no matter what.
So, since Kate can't warn Victoria about the dream, and she has no idea what form the threat to her angel's life might take… she watches her.
It's easy enough as long as Victoria stays on campus... she lives right next door to Kate, and watching Victoria was one of her favorite things to do even before she felt a paranoid, vision-induced urge to do so. She has the girl's class schedule pretty well memorized at this point.
That's why Kate is heading for the doors that exit out to the courtyard, where she can take a seat at the fountain in full view of the pool building. At this time of day, Victoria will be changing after class in the locker room that is designated for P.E. students and those taking post-swim showers.
Kate will wait for Victoria to leave the building, then keep an eye on her until she is safely on to her next class, or back in her dorm room. Kate will watch the girl from afar and make sure nothing happens.
At least, that was the plan. Right up until a newly hung flyer on the noticeboard across from the vending machines catches Kate's eye.
10-10-13
Thursday Night
END OF THE
WORLD PARTY
BLACKWELL
SWIMMING
POOL
Strobing lights and the press of bodies surrounding the Blackwell swimming pool.
Kate's heart seems to stop beating in her chest as a kind of panic she's never experienced before overwhelms her mind. Her bag and books slip from her hands, and her headphones are yanked from her ears as her phone they're attached to follows to clatter onto the hallway floor.
Deep down in her very soul, Kate knows what this is. It's a sign from God that her visions are real. There's going to be a party at the Blackwell pool in less than two weeks-time, just like she dreamt. And Victoria is going to die.
Because… what else could the "End of the World" mean, for Kate? Victoria is her entire world. Victoria is her everything.
'Please don't hate me…
Please don't let me die in here…'
Something comes over her, then, as the thought that Victoria is in danger, Victoria is going to die play over and over again in her mind. All notion of how she can't warn Victoria, how she'll never be believed, flies out of her brain. Her capacity for reasoned, logical thought goes right along with it.
She has to find her. She has to protect her. She has to save her.
She doesn't even remember running all the way to the pool building. It's as though one second she's standing in front of that flyer near the vending machines, and the next she's skidding around the corner into the girl's locker-room, her eyes instantly fixating on Victoria as she's finishing up buttoning her blouse while chatting and laughing with her friends.
Everything is a blur as Kate runs right up to the short-haired blonde, ignoring the girl's shocked spluttering as she grabs her arm. She's in such a state of panic that she doesn't even know what she's saying, the rambling words just seem to tumble out of her mouth as she tries to drag Victoria away from this building, away from the swimming pool. Kate is vaguely aware that she is begging Victoria to come with her. Pleading with her to listen. To believe Kate that she is in danger. She has to get away from the pool. Stay away from the party. She has to come with her so Kate can keep her safe.
Victoria weeping under the harsh white lights.
Victoria, of course, doesn't budge. The aghast, mortified expression on her face tells Kate that the girl absolutely does not believe her, and certainly isn't about to go anywhere with her. Especially not with so many eyes being drawn in their direction as Kate's anxiety drives her to making an ever-greater scene. Among those eyes are many of their classmates… Courtney, Taylor. Dana and Juliet.
Max Caulfield.
Victoria seems particularly aware of Max's eyes watching them, glimmering with that same cool amusement that always seems to reside within them… like whatever's going on in front of her is just the funniest thing she's ever seen.
Perhaps that's why, after hissing at Kate to calm down, after growling at her to leave her alone, after warning her to let her go or else… Victoria pushes Kate away. Pushes her hard enough to send Kate tumbling into a bank of lockers, her back and head colliding into the metal with a loud BANG.
"Get away from me you fucking freak!" she screeches, her voice full of fury and humiliation.
'Please don't hate me…'
Kate could never hate her... she doesn't even think Victoria meant to push her as hard as she did. Not really. Much later, when her capacity for rational thought has returned, Kate will understand why Victoria is so upset. She won't be able to blame her for it at all.
At best, Kate sounds like a desperate little girl making up wild stories because she can't handle being rejected. At worst, she is a total lunatic.
But as she slides to the floor in a heap, Kate sees something else in Victoria's eyes. There is anger and shame there, yes, but also concern. Concern mixed with regret and… resignation.
Those emerald eyes seem to say:
Do you see now, Katie?
I told you I would hurt you.
That's all I'm fucking good for.
Stunned as she is from the impact, Kate still tries to scramble up onto her knees to beg Victoria once more, but by now Taylor and Courtney have placed themselves in front of the Blackwell Queen, looking for all the world like hounds leaping in to protect their master. Looming with their arms crossed like a couple of nightclub bouncers, the pair sneeringly hurl all manner of invectives her way. "Crazy." "Creepy." "Psycho." Along with things that Kate can't repeat, even to herself.
But Kate barely registers them. She doesn't care about the insults, or the way the other girls in the room stand by in various states of shock or unease, shaking their heads and whispering to each other while watching the scene unfold before them.
"Enough!" Victoria finally snarls, shutting her locker door with a loud SLAM before having to shut it again after the force of the first attempt pops the door back open. Kate isn't sure if it's the bite in the girl's voice or the sound of the door, but the startled girls instantly obey.
Victoria doesn't look at Kate as she grabs her things and storms out, heels clacking all the way.
'... Don't hate me…'
Taylor and Courtney hurry along after her, but not before giving Kate a pair of warning and withering glares, respectively. Max's eyes follow the retreating Victoria, then turn back to give Kate a long, appraising look. Finally she shakes her head and smirks before moving to follow the others.
'... Don't let me die in here…'
Kate refuses an offer from Juliet to help her to her feet, preferring instead to curl in on herself with her back against the lockers and face in her knees to hide tears of fear and frustration. When Dana offers to walk her to the nurse's office, she doesn't even try to hide the misery in her voice when she asks to just be left alone.
'-Don't let me die Don't let me die Don't let me die Don't let me die Don't let me die Don't let me die-'
She doesn't know how long she sits there, inconsolable, save that by the time she finally looks up again the locker room is empty.
It is as she is moving to shakily stand up that something catches her eye... a small, colorful rectangle hidden on the floor, under the benches. Crawling over to inspect it, she realizes that it's a picture of Victoria, smiling sweetly and eyes glimmering at the camera. She figures it must have slipped from the girl's locker, unnoticed in her haste to leave.
'DontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedie-'
Kate gingerly, reverently picks up the picture.
...
As she gazes longingly into her angel's eyes, the noise permeating her mind just... stops.
It nearly causes her to sob with relief.
Kate doesn't remember leaving the locker room. She doesn't even remember walking to the Girls' Dorm after that, staring blankly as though in a trance the whole way there. All she knows is that when the door to her room closes behind her and she flumps down onto her couch, that picture is still in her hand.
She knows she should return it. She should go back and slide it into Victoria's locker or slip it under the door to her room. But as she stares at those eyes she loves so much, and at that sweet, innocent smile… all Kate can think about is how badly she has messed everything up, as usual. How her angel will probably never smile at her like that again. And how doing so is the only thing that seems to quiet her tortured mind.
She sits and stares at that picture until long after classes end for the day and people start filtering back into the dorms. Until long after Alyssa's knocking goes unanswered, and Kate's things she'd left behind in the school hallway are piled up in front of her door.
Kate gently runs her thumb across the tiny, two-dimensional Victoria's lightly tanned cheek.
"I won't let you die..." She whispers. "No matter what."
Monday, October 7th, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Kate's Room
Kate realizes that she is a mess. She's barely slept in the past several days, and when she does it's fitful and restless, huddled in a blanket with her ear pressed to the door, or to the wall separating her room from Victoria's, until exhaustion finally claims her. She does this partially in the hope that if anyone comes for Victoria in the night, Kate will hear it and be able to intervene.
And partially because she doesn't want to dream anymore, doesn't want to have to make that same choice over and over and over again. Doesn't want to risk messing up and seeing Victoria bound and afraid again… because, she fears, that truly would drive her mad.
She's gotten so tired of seeing the ever-deepening bags under her eyes that she's covered the mirror in her room. Not that she has been able to put all that much energy into her appearance regardless… most of her clothes are wrinkled, and her long hair is tangled and frayed from lack of brushing as she should. Kate just doesn't see the point. Her death is coming soon, she can feel it approaching closer every single day. All that matters is keeping Victoria safe between now and then.
Kate has found that she can't play violin anymore, as she simply doesn't feel the music in her heart. Every note she draws with her bow comes out shrill and discordant. She gave up on reading even her favorite books after realizing that she wasn't absorbing a single word despite reading the same paragraph over and over again. She can't draw, because she can't hold a single image in her mind for very long that isn't her own death or Victoria struggling under those harsh lights.
Nor has she managed to spend much time with her friends… not that she had that many to begin with. Kate can't stand the look of disgust she sees on Alyssa's face when the two of them are together, because Kate can barely bring herself to talk about anything but Victoria. She can barely bring herself to think about anything other than Victoria.
And much of Stella's extremely limited free time outside of working and studying has been spent with Warren lately, which Kate would never want to get in the way of. It's also much easier for Kate to not have to see the look of worry in the girl's eyes, or dread the moment when she finally asks the unsaid questions that linger between them, regarding the rumors that have been going around about Kate's recent behavior.
What could Kate even say? That she's not obsessed with Victoria, not following her around and watching her every chance she gets? She can't lie about it, and no one would believe the truth. So, best to avoid that conversation altogether.
At least when Victoria is in her room, Kate can relax... to an extent. She can snuggle with her Alice. She can stare at the picture of her angel. She can daydream about a world where she is good enough to be with someone like her. Where she didn't mess everything up all the time. Where someone like Kate is worthy of being loved.
Daydreaming is what she is currently doing at the moment, with the drone of quiet voices next door providing the only source of background noise. Her attention is eventually drawn from gazing longingly at her picture, however, when the voices start to fade, only to be replaced by… something else.
It starts with a shuffling sound, slow at first but steadily increasing in speed and intensity. Then there's a thump on the wall, followed by low, throaty giggles. By the time Kate realizes exactly what is going on it's too late to scramble for her headphones, as she can already hear a none-too-quiet moan of pleasure, one that can only belong to Victoria herself.
Kate fantasized dozens of times about hearing what Victoria sounded like in the throes of passion. Now she knows for sure, but only because those sounds are being brought on by someone else.
If who was making love to her angel was even a question in Kate's mind, Victoria's voice crying out "Maxine!" quite conclusively answers it as Kate flees from her room, flees from her hall, flees from the sound of her own heart shattering.
She doesn't stop running until she has pushed through the stairwell door and onto the roof, where she finally falls to her hands and knees. Her pain begins to flow out of her in short, rapid-fire bursts of air before evolving into full blown sobs, her tears splattering against her hands and the stone surface beneath them like rain. She shakes her head uselessly as though she could deny what she just heard, but she knows she can't.
Kate told herself that she'd be happy for Victoria even if she managed to find her own happiness with someone else. And she meant it, at the time… she truly believed it. But she didn't know how bad it would feel to have her belief tested. She didn't know it would make her throat constrict so tightly she can barely breathe, or make her chest hurt so much that she feels like she's dying.
Part of her wouldn't care if she was dying right now. It would make everything so much easier.
…
So mired is she in her misery that Kate almost doesn't notice the feeling of something cold and wet caressing the skin of her left arm. At first, she thinks it's another of her tears... but then she feels it again on the opposite arm, and once again on the back of her neck. It takes her quite some time after looking up to recognize the plump, white flakes that are slowly floating down from the sky above, catching the golden evening sunlight as they fall. When Kate does finally realize what's going on, the fear that bubbles up inside of her quickly grows to rival her desolation.
Snow falls over Arcadia Bay
It's snowing. On the first week of October, on a nearly 80 day without a cloud in the sky. It's snowing over Arcadia Bay, just like she saw in her nightmare. The first herald of those terrible visions.
Kate rushes forward to peer over the roof's edge and down into the courtyard below. Though she can see the snow falling all around them, no one else seems to be paying it any mind. Alyssa is reading a book on her favorite bench. Brooke is flying her drone. Zach and Logan are tossing a football around. No one can see the… the horrifying miracle happening around them. No one but Kate.
It can only mean one thing.
Time is nearly up. Either for herself... Or for Victoria.
Either way, the end of Kate's world is coming.
Tuesday, October 8th, 2013 - Blackwell Academy: Hallway
Kate doesn't step foot in Mark Jefferson's photography class today.
Which is highly unusual for the girl. Especially considering the fact that it is one of the only classes she shares with Victoria Chase. And one of the only times in the past couple of weeks she can be near her angel. Where she can see Victoria without following her around. Without… without stalking her.
It is also one of the only classes where she can dedicate any amount of concentration on the teacher's lessons. Where she can fit anything else into her mind that isn't soul-rending paranoia over what could be happening to Victoria while she's out of Kate's sight, while she can't protect her. Where she can close her eyes for a few minutes and just breathe, secure in the knowledge that her angel is safe.
So, yes… skipping photography class is highly unusual for Kate Beverly Marsh. But… today isn't a "usual" kind of day, is it?
Maybe it's the peal of thunder alerting her to the fact that it's raining outside as she approaches, or the strange sense of déjà vu she experiences at seeing Jefferson standing outside his classroom door, talking on his cellphone in hushed tones.
Maybe it's seeing Victoria, seated alongside Nathan atop Max Caulfield's desk as the three of them chat and laugh together, her angel wearing the same red and gold outfit from her dreams.
Or maybe it's just seeing her with Max at all, after the heartbreak Kate felt yesterday.
Either way, something sends her fleeing from Jefferson's room, fleeing until she pushes open the doors of the main entrance and out into the rain.
She isn't consciously aware of where her steps are taking her as she walks through the courtyard, rain soaking her to the bone through her already sodden clothes. It's as though she's on auto-pilot as she enters the first-floor stairwell of the Girls' Dormitory and begins to climb.
It's only when the door is swinging shut behind her, and she finds herself on the roof for the second time in as many days that she realizes where she is… or, more importantly, why she's here.
She has seen this hundreds of times before. Hundreds of times in her dreams has she been standing upon this very roof, beneath a sky so familiar she knows every swirl of every gray cloud above her by heart, with the wind and rain and the deepest of sadness chilling her to her very core. Fear of the physical pain that is to come giving way to the resignation that this is what must happen, this is how she must end.
Kate stares at the ledge she will soon climb onto before falling for the very last time. Her time is up. The day she's dreamt of since she was thirteen years old is finally here.
…
She wants to do this, Kate tells herself as she takes her first step toward the ledge.
She has been so, so tired for so, so long. Tired of crying herself to sleep… over Victoria, or her mother, or sometimes for no reason at all. Tired of feeling defective. Sinful. Lesser than. Unworthy of love and affection. Tired of feeling like an outsider, even amongst her family, her church, and what precious few friends she somehow managed to make. Tired of feeling like she doesn't belong in this world.
She is sworn to this, Kate reminds herself as she continues to take slow, sure steps forward, soon passing the halfway point between the access door and the roof's edge.
It is a promise she made to God years ago, that she would accept the fate prescribed to her in the visions He granted. The visions that foretold her death, yes, but which also gave Kate her angel. The spear that drove through the inexplicable sadness and loneliness she'd carried with her all these years. The tether keeping Kate attached to this world, until it was time for God to call her home.
She must do this, Kate admonishes herself. To keep Victoria safe.
God tested her faith weeks ago in her dream… and showed her the consequences for failing that test. Victoria's life for Kate's. That trade wasn't worth it, could never be worth it. But God, in His grace and wisdom, was giving her another chance... she had to believe that. This time she will not fail her angel.
Kate is mere feet away, now, the cold rain matting her hair to her face as it soaks right through her clothes. She doesn't feel the chill, even as it makes her flesh shiver. The pain inside is too great to feel anything else at all.
…
No... that's not true. Kate does feel something other than the pain. Something that was missing in the dreams she's experienced all these years where that other Kate, that future Kate, approached this very ledge full in the knowledge that she had nothing left to live for.
This Kate still has the love she carries for Victoria. The love that makes her heart soar and her stomach flutter every time she thinks about her. That invisible tether that has kept her connected to this world all these years, despite having been frayed and drawn thin over events of the past two weeks, still remains.
One thing she refuses to do is linger on top of the ledge until a crowd is drawn to the quad beneath her. Until Victoria is drawn there. Because Kate doesn't want to do that to her, to see the shock in her eyes or hear the heartbreak in her voice as she falls. She doesn't want her death to cause Victoria any more pain.
Kate decided weeks ago that when her time came, she would simply go up and over in a flash.
And so, despite still feeling that pull, as though gravity itself is attempting to drag her over the roof's edge, she comes to a stop. Just outside of arm's reach of the ledge that she will soon climb for the very last time, Kate closes her eyes... and says goodbye.
She imagines her angel's arms encircling her from behind, wrapping her in the warm kind of embrace that Kate has always longed for, but has only been able to experience in her daydreams. She imagines Victoria's breath tickling her ear as she leans in close to whisper "Katie...", her voice full of love, and reassurance. Full of promise that everything will be ok after she's gone, that she will go on to live the amazing life Kate envisioned for her.
Kate can almost feel the curves of the girl's perfect body as she leans back into the embrace, tilting her face to the sky and her ear closer to Victoria's mouth. It is impossible to tell where the tears end and the rain begins as she returns a whisper of her own.
"Goodbye, my love. I will always be with you... always."
Victoria never came to love Kate the way she wanted. Kate never got the chance to become the kind of woman Victoria would find suitable for a partner.
But to have been so near to her angel, as Kate has been this past month? To have felt those blazing emerald eyes on her? And to have occasionally caught a glimpse of that sweet, unguarded smile... the one that made Kate happy to be alive, just for the opportunity to bear witness to it?
That was enough. She wouldn't trade this month of having Victoria in her life for a hundred years without her. For Kate, that truly was enough.
With a final, quavering breath, Kate takes that final step to close the distance between herself and the ledge.
...
At least, that was what she would have done, if she could bring herself to move at all.
She wills herself to move, to take that next step. Her muscles shake with the effort of it.
But her angel's ghostly arms refuse to release her.
This time it isn't her love for Victoria that is holding her back, Kate realizes as those imaginary arms begin to squeeze tighter and tighter. Forcing the air from her lungs as though her insides are caught in a vice. As the warmth she'd felt from them is replaced by an icy chill that seeps more deeply into her blood and bones than the rain ever could.
No, her love is the only thing giving her the strength to try to make this sacrifice in the first place.
It's terror that freezes her body in place. Terror at the nagging thought that once she's gone, Victoria will still be in danger... and Kate won't be there to save her. That she is going to be punished for Kate's sin of defiance, and no amount of self-sacrifice after-the-fact will change her fate.
The voice in her ear is no longer soothing and reassuring. It is pleading, filled with the same familiar panic that tightens Kate's throat like a noose.
"Please don't let me die in here."
She wants to take the literal leap of faith before her, just as she has sworn to do.
But... she can't. Not as long as even a sliver of doubt remains.
Victoria's life is too important to be left to chance.
Kate begins to hyperventilate, her mind racing and her heart slamming against her ribs. She feels like she is being ground into dust between the unstoppable force that is her drive to obey God's will, and the immovable object that is her desperate need to see that her angel is safe with her own eyes.
So, Kate takes the only option she has left to her...
She bargains.
One does not bargain with God. One obeys, or faces eternal damnation. Kate wouldn't be surprised if He struck her down with a bolt of lightning and cast her soul into Hell for even considering the notion... but even the threat of Hell is worth it to her, if it's for Victoria's sake.
Kate falls to her knees and clasps her hands together as she begins to pray. She asks God's forgiveness for refusing his call. She begs Him to give her more time, just long enough to protect Victoria from whatever is coming. She pleads with Him to grant her the strength she will need to see this through.
"Just three more days." She whispers.
"Just let me save her."
"And then I'll go… in Your name, I swear."
She repeats these words like a mantra, remaining on her knees long after that invisible riptide-like pull toward the roof's edge dissipates along with the rain. She remains there, her legs and knees growing raw and bloody pressed as they are against the hard stone of the roof, until the sun begins to creep toward the horizon and a peculiar shadow begins to fall over her.
Finally, she stands and turns to face the sunset, to witness that golden orb being devoured by a circle of inky black.
Kate isn't sure if the eclipse is a sign of God's grace in granting her request, or His fury at being denied once more. But she decides, as she begins making her way to her room on shaky legs, it doesn't matter much to her in the end. No consequence is so great that she wouldn't gladly take it to keep Victoria alive.
Three more days, and then Kate will go to face her judgement... with grace.
With love.
And with joy in her heart.
Because she'll know her angel is safe.
Thursday, October 10th, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Kate's Room
Kate holds her mouth open as she carefully applies her mascara… she's not going for much, here, just a light enough touch to go with the dusky gold eyeshadow that a google search said would highlight the hazel of her eyes. She glances down at her phone, where a YouTube video about applying make-up for beginners is currently playing, before inspecting her recently uncovered mirror again.
She actually feels a sense of pride as she reviews her work… she's no Courtney, obviously, but it seems to be turning out pretty well given her lack of experience. Kate's mother would probably call her a "trollop" or a "painted whore" right now, which in her estimate means she must be on the right track.
Speaking of Courtney, Kate can't help but blush furiously at the sound of the girl's extremely explicit suggestions of how she feels Victoria should be properly thanked for helping Max with some kind of legal trouble. She's not trying to eavesdrop at all, but as mentioned the walls in this dorm are thin, and Courtney's voice especially carries… Kate honestly wouldn't be surprised if Warren could hear her all the way from the Boys' Dorm.
Any envy that Kate may have felt at the thought of Courtney following through on some of her suggestions is quickly banished by the sound of unrestrained, raucous laughter – Victoria's laugh – emanating from the room next door, followed by delighted squeals as her friends join in. Hearing Victoria laugh so loud and free, especially after seeing how dejected the girl was in the shower room earlier, makes Kate's heart swell near-to bursting with joy, her chin quivering from the effort to refrain from shedding happy tears. She whispers her thanks to God that Victoria has friends as good as Taylor and Courtney, and despite the adversarial relationship she's had with them in the past, makes a note to include them in her prayers.
Kate's blush returns when she momentarily considers googling some of the terms Victoria's rarely-tactful bestie is throwing around. Only momentarily, mind you… she'd probably die of embarrassment before the results page even loaded.
But… if it was only for educational purposes…
Kate shakes her head firmly, chiding herself to stay focused. She needs to concentrate on tonight. On keeping Victoria safe. Nothing else matters.
It is easier said than done, of course, since her body still aches from how close she came to being intimate with Victoria earlier this evening. Kate could see the dark hunger in those emerald eyes when she promised that she would do anything for her if Victoria would only stay away from that party tonight.
She knows it wouldn't have been loving, or tender, or any of the things Kate would have liked for her first time to be. It wouldn't have even been about Kate at all. But she didn't care... she resolved a long time ago that she would be anything her angel needed her to be. And if that meant being used as nothing more than a sacrifice to salve Victoria's pain and frustration over her break-up with Max, then Kate would have climbed up on that altar without hesitation.
Kate applies the cherry-flavored lip gloss she purchased just for this occasion, before stepping back from the mirror to give herself a final once-over. Aside from the make-up, she is allowing her honey-colored, below-the-shoulder-length hair to remain free of her customary bun, even having taken the time to curl it a bit at the ends and back-brush it out thoroughly to add volume. The black sequined dress she picked up, from one of the thrift stores she partnered with for her work on the meals-on-wheels program, is perhaps a bit smaller than she's comfortable with… it hugs her bosom and hips more tightly than she thought it would, and no matter how she tugs at the hem she can only get it to cover her legs down to mid-thigh.
But she is going to a party, and she wants to do her best to blend-in. She'd stand out like a sore thumb in her conservative everyday attire, and while she hasn't actually ever been to a non-church sanctioned party before, Kate thinks she has at least approximated the look she sees on party-going girls in the movies and TV shows.
Besides… she's going to be at the same party as Victoria Chase, and even if she plans on only watching her safely from the shadows tonight, part of Kate still wants to look good for her. She'd like to feel like Victoria would want her, even if she doesn't want to be with her.
She grins shyly as she daydreams about just walking up to Victoria right in the middle of everyone and asking her to dance. Her angel would say yes, being that this is a daydream after all. And Kate would say all the right things and do all her dance moves correctly and not make a complete fool of herself, and then they would share a tender slow-dance together and Victoria would just give her that look, the one that makes Kate's heart melt every single time. And Victoria would lean in close and whisper "Katie, let's hop in my fancy car and leave all these dreams and visions and this entire poop-hole town behind", and Kate would say yes, of course she'd say yes, and they'd go on all sorts of adventures and…
Ok… Kate has to stop thinking these kinds of thoughts right now, or she really will make herself cry.
…
After taking some time to compose her emotions, Kate slips her phone in a little black clutch purse, before finally spinning around to face Alice.
"So… how do I look?"
She giggles as her rabbit gives her what she chooses to believe is an approving nose-waggle from her cage, before blowing the furry creature a kiss. She hopes that this won't be the last time she sees her sweet, steadfast companion... but she plans to follow Victoria wherever she may go tonight.
And if Victoria doesn't make it back home safely, then Kate surely won't either.
Blackwell Academy: Courtyard
Kate hustles through the courtyard, eager to get inside the party and find a quiet vantage point from which she'll be able to see Victoria arrive. She's certain she left well before Victoria and her friends, but she wants to leave nothing to chance, not tonight of all nights.
Despite all the signs directing students to use the parking lot-side entrance, Kate still slips beneath the ropes used to cordon off the doors that lead into the locker rooms, only to find that they are, as expected, firmly locked. It makes sense that the organizers would want to be able to control the flow of students in and out of the party… but it still could have been a convenient way to slip in unnoticed. The thought of passing through the main entrance with all the other students fills her with social anxiety and a fear of being spotted by someone she knows. But it doesn't look like she has any other options, so she begins heading in that direction.
She doesn't need to look up to know that the two moons from her vision are there, looking down on her from the clear night sky. She's also certain that no one else sees them, by the lack of reaction from the students milling about outside. Just like no one else saw the snow on Monday, or the eclipse on Tuesday. Just like no one but Kate seemed to smell the foul stench of rotting whales that was carried along on the sea breeze yesterday evening or earlier this afternoon. Kate knows that this is a private conversation between her and God.
Remember your vow.
And Kate will. She just needs to see to it that Victoria makes it through tonight safely, and this time she will keep her promise.
Blackwell Academy: Swimming Pool
Making it past the coat check line was even more a harrowing experience than Kate previously imagined. As if the catcalls she got from a group of drunk boys going the opposite direction as she made her way in weren't bad enough, the shock of seeing Stella working behind the counter with Warren standing nearby gave her the momentary urge to run back out.
But, thankfully, most of Stella's attention was focused on checking items in and updating her official-looking clipboard, and Warren had eyes for no one but Stella, of course. Since Kate has nothing to check in, she skips the line and heads straight for the dark curtains that obscure the party beyond. At one point she thinks Stella begins to look up in her direction, but Kate turns her face away and makes a show of fussing with her long locks of hair until she's safely out of sight.
Kate feels like a moron. An absolute, blithering idiot.
She went to all this effort to dress and make herself up so as not to stand-out at the party tonight. Not even thinking about the fact that it's a party at a swimming pool, so of course most people are hanging out in their bathing suits, while Kate looks like she's ready for a night out at Studio 54.
She's already had to fend off one request for a dance and another offer to get her a drink, luckily both from people she's pretty sure don't know her well enough to recognize her. But she knows she can't just stand around like this, either, because scanning the crowd she does see several people that probably would given enough scrutiny… especially Alyssa, who's standing on the edge of the far side of the pool, or Brooke and Daniel over by the bar. She briefly considers just standing in the corner and hoping for the best, but she's already feeling like she's too exposed for that to work.
The area beyond the curtains separating the rest of the pool from what lies behind the DJ's stage seems dark enough, but she would have to sneak past the aforementioned Brooke, Daniel, and Alyssa just to get to the VIP entrance, and there's no way she could make it past the bouncer there. Kate's name is definitely not on any Vortex Club list, that's for sure. There isn't any security manning the curtain on the near-side of the pool, but the way is blocked by a stack of crates, and she figures there's no way she could push past them without knocking over the massive speaker that sits on top.
But thankfully, as always, the Lord shows her the way. This time in the form of the words blaring from that very same speaker alongside the heavy electronic dance music.
'They say that either you're out or you're in…'
'But you're on'
'They say that either you're out or you'll swim…'
'On your own'
Not wasting any time, Kate tosses her clutch and sneakers over the crates and slips into the pool. Keeping one hand on the hem of her dress to prevent it from floating up and exposing her entire backside for the world to see, she pulls herself along the side with her other arm. Quickly she makes it past the crates and pulls herself up on the far side and, glancing around to ensure that no one is looking, slips behind the curtain.
Kate nestles herself in a dark, secluded spot between the curtain and another crate, where she can easily peek out at the main pool area. Then, she settles in to wait.
And watch.
Kate's heartbeat speeds up, her mind and body going on full alert when Victoria and crew arrive a little more than half an hour later, heralded first by Taylor dragging Warren through the curtains to dance with him near the pool.
Victoria follows close behind, and Kate has to fight off a wave of nausea at the sight of her outfit… a black skirt and pink top, exactly like the one she saw in her nightmare. For a moment the Blackwell Queen seems unsure of herself, as if she is afraid to carry on without her friends at her side. Kate wonders if she can also feel the pervasive sense of dread that permeates the air tonight, or if that's all just in her own mind.
Eventually, though, her angel manages to gird herself enough to start making her way over to the VIP entrance. If she has any awareness of Kate's eyes following her every step of the way, she gives no indication of it.
Kate shifts around to secure a new vantage point behind a third set of curtains that allows her to watch Victoria as she takes a seat by the bar, and settles in once again. Occasionally she has to scurry away to dodge the eyes of someone coming back there for a piece of equipment, or couples sneaking off to make-out, but she manages.
For a long while the short-haired blonde sits and drinks, putting on a brave face but obviously looking miserable to Kate's eyes. Her chest aches with the desire to go and comfort her somehow, but she knows doing so would only put the girl further at risk.
That is why Kate's heart soars when Taylor finally arrives to goad Victoria into a dance. Seeing the way she makes her angel smile and laugh, Kate realizes that she has never felt so much love in her heart for Taylor Christensen than in this very moment.
But when Taylor later leaves again, only to be replaced by Nathan Prescott? That's when the fear truly sets in for Kate. Fear and the memory of the rage and revulsion she felt at the sight of him leaving Victoria's room earlier, before Victoria arrived back at the Dorms with Max in tow. When Kate was overwhelmed with certainty that Nathan had already taken her. Already hurt her. That the shadow looming over Victoria as she cried in her room in Kate's vision belonged to him.
She doesn't know for sure that Nathan has anything to do with her visions. But after all the rumors she's heard about him… the drugs, the violent outbursts, even putting a girl in the hospital a couple years back? Kate would prefer it if Victoria stayed far away from that boy tonight, thank you very much.
Eventually Victoria leaves Nathan's side and heads for the stage, forcing Kate to dart over to another spot so that she can see that the girl is now talking to Mr. Jefferson. She definitely is not close enough to make out what they're saying, but whatever it is makes Kate feel uneasy. Victoria is clearly and rapidly becoming upset, and when her teacher reaches out to grab her by the shoulder Kate can feel that same protective rage from before start to re-brew within her.
Soon enough, however, Jefferson is leaving Victoria to climb up onto the stage, and the girl stalks angrily back to the bar, which is thoroughly obscured from Kate's current hiding spot. But before Kate can change positions again to get a better view, she sees Victoria push open the door to the girl's restroom and disappear inside.
Though she's alarmed at not being able to have eyes on her angel, Kate reassures herself that it should be fine… that exit is locked, after all, and from where she's currently crouched she can easily see if anyone else tries to go in that bathroom. She tries to push aside the uneasy butterflies as she settles back in, Mr. Jefferson's speech fading into the background of Kate's worried mind as she watches that door like a hawk.
"YOU SUCK, CAULFIELD!" A loud voice cuts right through the cheering crowd as Jefferson ends his speech, making Kate jump at the sound of it. It's a voice that, going by the volume and sheer enmity contained within it, can only belong to Courtney Wagner. Kate is startled when she glances over at the VIP entrance by the sight of the black-haired girl rounding the corner of the stage and walking straight toward her with an angry sneer on her face.
Sh-shit! Did she see me?
Kate ducks back behind the curtain in a flash, praying that Victoria's most vicious confidant isn't coming to personally eject her. Given what's at stake she definitely won't go quietly, but she doesn't know how she'd manage to get past the girl without drawing far too much attention to herself.
She waits for several long moments with her heart in her throat until she's fairly sure Courtney isn't coming after all, then peeks out again. No sign of Courtney, but the length of time Victoria has been in the bathroom at this point is driving Kate's anxiety through the roof. She doesn't know how much longer she'll be able to wait. If her angel isn't back soon, she'll have to risk…
A sickening thought crosses her mind, driving out all others. It wasn't for long, but for the time she was hiding from Courtney, Kate took her eyes off that door.
Kate leans out further to get a look at the bar. When she does, her heart drops straight from her throat and all the way down to her stomach.
Nathan is gone.
Kate leaps to her feet, panic driving her into a cold sweat as adrenaline courses through her body. She can't afford to wait anymore; she has to go now. Hurriedly she passes through the curtains, praying no one tries to stop her as she makes a beeline for the bathroom. She doesn't want to hurt any of Victoria's friends, but if she has to…
Her eyes dart around the room, scanning for threats as she tries to keep the terror from her face. Trying to seem like she belongs back here.
Logan is right next to the door, but he is having an animated discussion with Hayden at the moment. Dana and Trevor are almost directly in her path, but she is facing away while she twerks and his eyes are glued to her rear-end. Zachary and Juliet are making out on the couch. No one else to really worry about except…
Movement from the right side catches her eye. Courtney, standing mere feet from where she'd been hiding just now. But Kate heaves a sigh of relief when she realizes that the girl is occupied with writing something on the wall with the giant sharpie in her hand.
FUCK
YOUR
SELFI-
Doing her best to channel an aura of 'I'm just a Vortex Club groupie who desperately needs to pee, don't pay me any mind!', Kate can't help but break into a run for the last several feet before reaching the door and pushing into the darkened bathroom beyond.
Blackwell Swimming Pool: Girls' Locker Room
Bile rises in Kate's throat as she blasts open door after door, only to find each of the ladies' room stalls terrifyingly free of her angel.
Am I… Am I too late?! Is she…?
Kate shakes her head furiously, chiding herself to focus on finding Victoria as she quickly scans the darkened locker room beyond. She only took her eyes off the door for a minute, Kate reminds herself. Less than. She will find Victoria, she has to.
She tries not to think of all the horrible things that can happen in less than a minute as she crosses the foyer to yank on the boy's locker room door, only to find that it's locked.
Her heart is beating far too quickly as she passes the vending machines and into the small entryway, but it nearly screeches to a stop when she gives the red doors that lead out into the courtyard, the very doors she found to be locked earlier that evening, a hard tug… and the left one opens easily.
NononononopleaseGodno-
If there is another way into and out of the pool building, Victoria could potentially have been missing for much longer than a minute.
Tears blur her vision as she races outside and down the sidewalk toward the path that would take her back around to the parking lot, digging her phone out of her clutch as she goes.
"This is my fault!" Kate moans, fumbling to unlock the device with shaking hands. Finally, she manages it and jams her thumb onto Victoria's contact, which takes up a prominent position on the center of the screen.
"Pleasepleaseplease pick up!" she prays, only to sob when the call immediately disconnects. Kate tries to jam the contact again while rounding the corner of the building, but her split focus causes her to lose her footing, and she falls forward. Her skull reverberates from the impact of taking the hard fall to the sidewalk right on her chin, making her see stars.
I should have jumped, Kate thinks, desperately trying to stand back up using arms and legs that suddenly don't seem to be cooperating. She should have jumped from the top of that rain-drenched rooftop Tuesday, but she didn't. And now God is punishing Victoria for Kate's sin.
If Victoria is dead, Kate will die too. Visions or no visions, she swore she'd follow Victoria wherever she went tonight… and death is no exception. Kate won't live in a world without that beautiful smile that makes her feel happy to be alive, or those fierce, brilliant, hungry emerald eyes that plague Kate's every thought, every—
!
Kate gasps, her entire body tensing at the feel of a brief, nearly imperceptible pressure that forms on the side of her head near her left temple. She blinks rapidly to will the stars away as she looks up in that general direction, not immediately seeing anything but empty courtyard.
It had been barely a caress, and over almost as soon as it started… but that warm feeling she always and only experiences when Victoria looks at her had been there. Kate is sure of it. She was thinking of her angel's eyes and then…
!
There it is again.
Kate's hazel eyes snap into focus when the tingling sensation reappears just over under her right cheekbone. It shifts to the bridge of her nose as she turns her head to the right and… down. Directly beyond the stone steps that lead down to the bus-stop, and the road beyond it. The feeling fades again for a moment, but then returns stronger than ever. Though the angle she's at obscures anything beyond those steps from view, Kate is absolutely certain that Victoria is somewhere in that direction.
She doesn't know how she knows this... but to be quite honest, she really could not care less at this moment. It's not too late. Her angel still has a chance.
Kate runs harder than she's ever run in her life.
Blackwell Academy: Bus Stop
The top of the stairway allows full view of the bus stop, and Kate's attention is immediately caught by a pair of students moving away from her, toward the road. A male in a brown jacket appears to be half-walking, half-dragging the blonde girl in a pink top who is slumped into his side. They appear to be heading for a red pickup truck on the far end of the drive, parked in the shadows just beyond the streetlights' reach.
Kate nearly flies down the steps, her blood boiling with fury.
I won't let him take her away from me! I WON'T!
As she approaches, Kate thinks she can hear Nathan muttering something like "I'm sorry, I have to…" as he drags the girl along.
The blonde's head raises in Kate's direction, a pair of glassy and unfocused emerald eyes, Victoria's eyes, catching the light as they lock onto hers. Victoria seems to struggle in Nathan's grasp at the sight of her, reaching out for Kate as she protests with a slurred voice.
"Nuh… No…! l-lemme…"
Nathan begins to turn at the sound of Kate's rapidly approaching footsteps, his eyes widening with shock at the look of pure rage on her face.
"LET HER GO!"
Kate closes the distance before he can react, colliding hard enough to carry the both of them down to the sidewalk in a heap. Nathan's grip on Victoria broken, the blonde slumps weakly onto her side a couple of feet away as Kate uses her momentary advantage to clamber on top of the stunned boy.
"The FUH-" he begins to shout, only to be cut off by Kate's right fist as she drives it hard into his face.
"YOU CAN'T TAKE HER!" Kate screeches wildly, straddling Nathan's midsection to pin him to the ground as she brings down another hard fist, tears of pure fury streaming down her face. "I WON'T LET YOU!"
"Geh-get off me… Stop!" he groans, pain evident in his voice as red welts and bloody smears begin to cover his face.
"SHE'S MY ANGEL!"
She hits him again, and again, ignoring both the sharp pain in her hands and the gout of blood that escapes his nostrils. Kate knows she can't let up… Nathan is bigger than her, and almost certainly much stronger. One good hit from him could probably knock her out cold, and she can't allow that to happen.
"-rry… I'm sor-"
"MY ANGEL!" Kate won't stop. She can't. All she sees is red and white and Victoria bound and weeping in her mind's eye. "MINE!"
!
"Kuh… Katie…?"
Kate's head snaps around of its own accord at the sound of her angel's voice and the return of that burning pressure, hazel eyes meeting green as Victoria struggles to lift her torso up off of the sidewalk with shaking arms.
Those glassy, confused eyes distract her only for a moment… but it's long enough to allow Nathan to lift up and land a wild, desperate punch of his own right to Kate's jaw.
It's a good hit.
…
Before she even registers what happened, Kate finds herself laid out on the concrete, her ears ringing as the entire left side of her face throbs with pain. Through blurred, unfocused eyes she can see Nathan stumbling over to his truck and yanking open the passenger side door, his voice seething with anger and humiliation as he curses.
Kate tries to raise her head. She has to get up. She has to get up, but for the second time tonight her body refuses to obey, only managing a weak flail of one arm before her cheek sags back down to the sidewalk. Icy terror courses through her veins at the sight of Nathan rummaging in his glovebox, before standing back up with something in his hand.
She can't call for help. She must have dropped her phone and bag somewhere on the way between the steps and Nathan, and even if she wasn't too stunned to move all she would have it in her to do right now would be to jump on top of Victoria to protect her from whatever is about to happen.
Nathan points the blurry silver object right at Kate.
Please… Please spare her… she prays, more than willing to accept this as her end if God will spare Victoria's in exchange.
…
Something slumps heavily over top of her, then, and Kate's vision is obscured by a pink-clad arm as the scent of soap and lilacs and a hint of cigarettes fills her nostrils. She struggles to turn, blearily blinking up at Victoria's face as the girl covers Kate's body with her own, one arm planted on either side of Kate's head as she tilts her eyes toward Nathan.
"Tuh… take me." Victoria slurs. "N-not… her…"
A tear rolls all the way down to the tip of her delicate chin, where it hangs precariously for a long moment before dripping onto Kate's cheek with a light plop.
"I deser—"
"No!" Kate cries out in dismay, a surge of adrenaline finally allowing her to wrap her arms around Victoria. She pulls her down and rolls the girl onto her side, trying to put as much of herself as possible between her angel and Nathan.
…
"Fuck…" Nathan mutters, his voice strained. It sounds as though something is rattling in his hand.
"I won't let you…" Kate weeps into Victoria's hair. "I won't…"
"Vic… I…" Nathan's disembodied voice cracks from behind her, before he screams "FUCK!"
Kate isn't sure exactly what happens after that. Maybe Nathan has an attack of conscience. Maybe it's the sound of distant, laughing voices approaching from the direction of the school building. Maybe it's just the grace of God.
But the next things she hears are Nathan's footsteps as he runs back to the truck, followed by a door slamming shut before the vehicle pulls away, tires squealing.
A sharp pain shoots through her skull when she lifts her head, but Kate pays it no mind as she watches the tail lights fade into the darkness. After a while she manages to sit up on her knees, pulling Victoria up with her as much as she can. Kate nestles her cheek against her angel's head, and her chin quivers as the muscles in her throat work of their own accord. Finally, Kate's shoulders begin to shake as a string of violent, wracking sobs full of spent fear and newfound relief finally overtake her.
The girl mumbles something Kate can't make out, before she feels a slender arm snake its way around her waist.
"You're ok…" Kate soothes through her tears. "Everything is going to be ok…"
Kate peers up into the night sky, and her breath catches as she sees one of those twin moons slowly fade away, leaving a solitary bright orb to stare back at her. Sobbing again, this time out of gratitude, she sends her thanks up to the heavens.
Her angel is safe.
Girls' Dormitory: Victoria's Room
Kate heaves a sigh of relief at the sound of the door clicking shut behind her. Her legs are shaking both from the adrenaline finally beginning to leave her body, and from the effort of supporting her angel's weight as she walks the stumbling, barely conscious girl over to the bed, pausing only to toss her and Victoria's bags onto the coffee table along the way.
Pulling the blanket to the side, Kate manages to sit Victoria down on the edge of the bed before gently guiding her head to the pillow. Kneeling down on the floor next to her, Kate grunts as she pulls the girl's legs up onto the bed as well, carefully removing the expensive looking heels from her feet before pulling the blanket up over her. Victoria mutters something unintelligible as she nestles in, but her eyes are closed and soon enough her breathing settles into a slow, rhythmic pattern.
Kate remains on her knees for several long minutes, just watching the rise and fall of those steady breaths. She can hardly believe her eyes. Her angel is right there, lying safe in her bed. It's like a dream come true… no, more than that. It's a miracle.
But, the hazel eyed girl reminds herself as she scans the dark room for something she can use to bar the door from the inside, the night isn't over yet. Kate pushes up to her feet as her eyes settle on the nearby coffee table, but she quickly discounts it as being far too light to suit her purpose.
The couch, however, should do nicely…
Moving around to the far end, Kate groans at the deep, aching pain she feels in her bruised and swollen hands as she heaves at the heavy piece of furniture. It takes several minutes of pulling, repositioning, and pushing before she finally manages to wedge it against the door, and she's sweating from the effort by the time she's done. Her hands are throbbing now, but the suffering is worth it for the feeling of security that her makeshift barricade provides.
A wave of lethargy washes over Kate, and she flumps back onto the couch with a sigh, allowing herself to close her eyes for a few moments.
She definitely doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of staying in Victoria's room without permission, but she doesn't know what else to do. She's certainly not going to leave her alone while she's sleeping and vulnerable, on the chance that Nathan tries to come back for her during the night. She figures the best compromise is to add her bodyweight to that of the couch until morning… or until Victoria wakes up enough to kick her out. Kate's under no illusions that what happened tonight will change anything between them, after all.
Kate opens her eyes again and sighs again, leaning forward enough to reach for the coffee table. She winces at the stab of pain in her hand as she pulls it toward her. Right now, she's not sure if her hands or her swollen jaw hurts worse, as both seem to be giving their best effort at claiming that first prize. She's pretty sure nothing's broken, though, so she counts her blessings for that.
Opening her clutch, Kate places her phone on the table before fishing out the other item she'd purchased just for tonight. Inspecting the plastic and metal air horn in her hand, it strikes Kate that it would have been smart to have used it in an effort to attract help before she attacked Nathan, had she not forgotten its existence entirely in the throes of her rage at the sight of him dragging her angel away. She wouldn't go back and change it even if she could, however… she managed to get Victoria safely back to her room without it, and even though she'd asked the attendant at the sporting goods store for the loudest model they carried, there would have been no guarantee that it would summon help in time.
She places the object on the table in front of her, within arm's reach in the case that it still manages to come in handy tonight, after all. Should anyone try to break into this room, she'll blast the entire school awake, if necessary.
The shiver that runs through her body and the goosebumps that have arisen on her exposed legs alert her to the chill in the air, making her wish that she'd thought to go to her room and grab a blanket before she'd barred the door. Another quick glance around the room reveals a towel crumpled in the corner. Kate finds it to be slightly damp to the touch in places as she retrieves it, but figures it will be better than nothing.
!
"Katie…?"
The quavering voice to her right causes Kate's head to snap up. Victoria is sitting up in her bed, clutching the blanket tightly to her chest. She's staring at Kate, her green eyes wide and shimmering, her right hand covering her mouth as though she's in disbelief at what she's seeing.
In a flash Kate is across the room and sitting on the edge of Victoria's bed, her eyes soft and her voice gentle.
"Victoria… it's… it's okay. You're safe. I'm right here."
But Victoria just stares, a single tear slipping down her left cheek. "Katie…?" she finally repeats, her voice full of pain. Pain and guilt and… grief?
"Are… Are you… really here? Or am I…?"
She reaches out a trembling hand, her manicured fingers hesitantly moving toward Kate's left cheek. When Kate leans into the gentle touch, Victoria withdraws her hand as though she'd just touched an open flame, a half-sob, half-startled cry escaping her pink lips.
"Victoria…? What's… what's wr—"
Kate's words are interrupted by Victoria throwing herself forward to snatch her up into a crushing hug, the blonde's arms wrapped so tightly around her that she can barely breathe.
"Katie! Oh, GOD, Katie!" Victoria wails, and Kate can feel hot tears on her neck.
"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry for everything! Oh God, I was so awful to you every fucking day… Katie, please believe me, I'd—I'd give anything to take it all back! It… it should have been me up there, not you. You didn't deserve-"
Is… is this what being drunk is normally like?
Kate can't think of any other explanation, as Victoria isn't making any sense right now. Sure, things haven't always been the best between them, but she's still Kate's angel. She's made Kate's life so much brighter just by being in it. Why does Victoria think she's hurt her so badly?
She wants to tell Victoria this, but she can't get a word in between the girl's rambling, frantic apologies. So instead she just returns the hug, moving her hands in slow, soothing circles along her back as it's wracked by sobs. She simply repeats "Shh… shh… it's okay… it's okay…" while Victoria alternates between crying and babbling, Kate's neck and shoulder growing increasingly sodden by the girl's tears.
Finally, Victoria pulls back enough to look into Kate's eyes, her hands gripping the girl's shoulders so tightly, it's almost as if she's afraid of what will happen if she let's go.
"You… You know I actually prayed?" Victoria asks, rolling her eyes and laughing in that same loathing, self-deprecating manner she'd used on the rooftop a couple weeks ago. "I know, right? I told myself… 'I bet if Katie could see this, she'd be laughing her ass off right now.' But I did…"
She seems barely able to choke out the words, her lip quivering as tears continue to stream down her face.
"I know… I know this isn't real. T-that this is a dream or whatever. But I prayed for just one chance to tell you: I know you hate me, Katie, and… and I deserve it. But I swear to God, I would give anything to bring you back. To… to see you smile again. Anything."
"Oh, Victoria, no…" Kate compassionately whispers, reaching up to wipe some of those tears away with her thumb. "I don't hate you... I could never hate you."
But if a smile is what Victoria wants most? Well that's the easiest wish in the world to grant.
Making sure to channel all the love in her heart straight through her hazel eyes, Kate gives the girl her brightest, most beaming smile… the one that she reserves solely for her angel.
…
Victoria's emerald eyes go wide as saucers, and she freezes like a deer caught in the headlights, seemingly captivated by the sincere joy displayed on Kate's face.
She looks like someone who is witnessing a miracle.
She looks like someone whose dream – a dream she never even knew she had until this very moment – just came true.
And then… with a hungry little moan, she's darting forward.
It takes Kate a moment to realize what is even happening as Victoria's pink lips press against her own. Kate's dirty blonde eyebrows climb higher and higher on her head as the kiss – the kiss – starts off slow, and shaky, and tender… but quickly grows in passion, in desire.
On some level she knows that she should pull away. That Victoria is feeling confused, and vulnerable, her mind clouded by alcohol and God knows what else. Kate has offered herself to Victoria so many times, and each time has been met with rejection. Letting this happen right now feels too much like taking advantage.
But… she can't. She can't pull away. Because this feels too much like everything she's ever wanted.
A pair of tears escape Kate's eyes as she closes them tightly shut, allowing herself to melt into Victoria's kiss. The movement and pressure of her lips quickly matches the ferocity of Victoria's as they fall into a desperate dance of give and take. They come together, and break apart… just to crash back into each other once more, again and again and again.
By the time Kate feels Victoria's tongue gently flick across her lips, probing as though asking permission, it's not even a question for her. Kate parts her lips to allow Victoria inside without hesitation, and she can taste alcohol and cigarettes on the girl's tongue but she doesn't care, because underneath that is the taste of her. Soon enough they are caressing each other, teasing each other, exploring and swirling and melding into one another.
Kate doesn't even know where she is right now. The entire world could just as well have moved out from underneath to leave the pair of them floating in space for all she'd notice. The only thing that matters to her right now, the only thing that even exists for her right now, is the feel of Victoria's lips. The taste of her tongue mingled with salty tears – Victoria's, or Kate's, or a mixture of both. The way her perfect body presses tightly against Kate's, her hands desperately clawing at Kate's back and tangling into her long hair.
All that exists is Victoria, and the boundless love that Kate is trying to pour into her.
A low moan of protest rumbles in her throat when Victoria finally pulls away, and she leans forward involuntarily as her mouth tries to follow the retreating girl's. But she does stop when she sees the look of sadness and guilt and regret in those green eyes, and the pained grimace that crosses her angel's face.
"I don't… I don't want to wake up…" Victoria sobs. "I don't ever want to wake up…"
"It's ok, Victoria… I swear, I'll be right here when you do."
Kate can tell that sleep is exactly what the girl needs right now… she can see the exhaustion quickly rising to claim Victoria as her eyes begin to regain that glassy, drooping quality from earlier tonight. So, she scoots in closer and applies pressure with her hands to gently guide her angel back down to her pillow. Victoria tries to protest, but she clearly doesn't have the strength to make much of a go at it as Kate lays her down and pulls the blanket back over her.
Kate murmurs soothingly while lightly brushing more tears from the girl's cheeks, but when she finally stands to return to the couch, Victoria grabs her arm tightly. A look of sheer panic is evident on her face.
"Please don't leave me again, Katie. Please… please don't go…" she begs, her voice slurring and strained.
Kate hesitates for a moment, but only just. Gently freeing herself from Victoria's grip, she bustles over to the couch to collect her things before returning and lying down on top of the blanket next to the girl, pulling the towel up to cover the chilly flesh of her exposed legs as she does.
Chastely caressing her angel's side through the blanket, she responds to each of Victoria's repeated pleas with her own whispers of "I won't." "I promise." "I'm right here." She intersperses these assurances with soft kisses to her cheek and forehead, and it isn't long before her bedmate's breathing slows once more, and her words are replaced by soft, gentle snoring.
Kate had intended to stay up all night, or at least as long as she could manage it, in case Nathan did try to come back for Victoria. But the feel of the warmth radiating from her angel's body, and the feel of her soft breath against her face, combined with the weight of Kate's own exhaustion after a long week of sleepless nights, soon has her feeling like she is beginning to drift off as well.
Kate has never been this close to Victoria before… and, even if this is just for tonight, it doesn't matter. Her angel is safe.
Kate feels peace. She feels comfort. She feels joy.
But she also feels guilt. For the last thoughts that ring through her mind as unconsciousness claims her are echoes of another promise she made.
"Just three more days."
"Just let me save her."
"And I'll go. In Your name, I swear."