Chapter 2 - I Cannot Do This
Rivka slept about an hour; she woke up and cooed to herself. When Tony went to get the baby from her crib, she was smiling and swatting at the colorful animals on her crib mobile. He watched her from the doorway for a few minutes before going into her line of sight. She was a happy baby for the most part, but a lot like Anthony on her feeding.
As he changed the little girl's diaper, Beth sighed in her sleep but did not waken. He left her to sleep figuring she would make herself heard on the baby monitor when she was ready.
Ziva was preparing lunch for the family; peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all. He and Tali preferred the grape jelly while Ziva and Anthony preferred strawberry preserves or strawberry jam. Rivka smiled and cooed at her Ima but didn't seem to be eager to nurse, so Tony put her into the bouncy seat by the table. She watched her older siblings and parents happily.
Anthony gulped his milk and then burped very loudly; Riv chuckled out loud as the others turned their attention to the little girl.
"Ima, she laughed!" Anthony was excited that his little sister had laughed for the first time, and that he was the one who made her laugh. Tony held up his hand so Anthony could high-five. Ziva shook her head; boys will be boys, she thought.
By the time everyone finished their lunch, Riv was starting to fuss. Ziva lifted the baby from the bouncy seat and took her into the family room to nurse. She settled into Tony's recliner with the infant as Tali and Anthony helped their Abba clean up from the meal.
When the paper plates and napkins were in the trash and cups were in the dishwasher, Tony reminded the two children about the afternoon quiet time. "Remember it's quiet time now; please find a book to read or a quiet activity to do in the play room. Anthony you can also have quiet time in your room if you want." Often the three year old would lie on his bed with a picture book and fall asleep for half an hour or so.
As the two older children headed to the play room, Tony checked on Ziva and Rivka.
"She is almost done nursing," Ziva looked up when her husband entered the room. No sooner had she spoken than the sounds of Beth fussing and whimpering came from the baby monitor app on both of the parents' phones. "Here, if you will burp her, I will go to Beth." She handed the baby to Tony.
When Ziva entered the twins' room, Beth was awake but not making much more than a whimpering sound. She noticed the sheen of sweat on the baby's head as she neared the crib. She felt Beth's forehead; the child was burning with fever. Ziva grabbed the forehead thermometer from the shelf above the changing table as Tony came into the room.
"She filled her diaper," he explained. "What's wrong?" he noticed the worried expression on his wife's face.
"Beth is burning with fever; I am going to do the forehead scan and if we need to, you can help with the rectal thermometer," Ziva tried not to let her worry show. She put the device near her daughter's head as Tony quickly changed Riv's diaper. He had just snapped the last snap in the bottom of her onesie as Ziva turned to him.
"One hundred three point two," Ziva frowned with worry. She put the thermometer on the nightstand and lifted the baby from her crib. Beth was like a limp ragdoll in her Ima's arms.
Tony put Rivka in her crib and wound the music box on the mobile, hoping it would keep the older twin occupied while he helped Ziva take Beth's temperature with the more accurate thermometer. She stripped the baby's diaper off and placed her face down on the changing table as Tony lubed the ball end of the thermometer with petroleum jelly.
"One hundred three point four," Tony read as Ziva put just a diaper on the baby. "Don't the baby books and websites say to contact the doctor if the temperature is over one hundred and two?"
Ziva nodded; she already had her phone in hand and was scrolling the contact list to find the pediatrician's office hotline. Beth lay on the changing table barely moving. Tony noticed a glassy-eyed look and wondered if she was even aware of her parents' presence.
"Yes, thank you," Ziva completed her call with the pediatrician's nurse who answered the hotline call. She turned back to Tony, "The hotline nurse says we should take her to the emergency room since the fever is so high and she is like a ragdoll. She will call ahead so the ER staff know to expect us."
"Okay; who can we get to stay with the other kids?" Tony was thinking out loud. "Maybe Ellie? Or I'm sure Jared is available since school is out for the summer. I'll call Ellie and you can try Jared?"
"Yes," Ziva quickly found the contact information for Jared Vance and dialed the teen as Tony called Ellie. Luckily, both were available, and Jared was actually close by and not at home. He told Ziva he could be at the house in fifteen to twenty minutes. Ellie was at home, but she could be at the house in thirty minutes.
"One of us should go to the ER with the baby while the other waits for Jared and Ellie," Ziva suggested. "You go; I will be there as soon as one of the two arrives." Ziva was not looking forward to going out, but her fear of being in the contaminated world was overruled by her worry for her sick baby.
Tony lifted his limp baby from the changing table and cradled her in his left arm. He could feel the heat from her fever; she did not move as he carried her to the front door. He grabbed his keys and a mask and headed out to the family's minivan. He secured Beth in the baby car seat behind the front passenger seat and ran around to the driver's door. He quickly started the engine and adjusted the vehicle's air conditioning to the same temperature as inside the house. He drove to the hospital as fast as he dared wanting to get the sick baby seen by a doctor as soon as possible.
Once in the parking lot, he called the ER reception desk to let them know he was on premises. He pulled on his mask and carried the baby to the entryway. A nurse met him at the doors; she scanned his temperature and motioned for him to follow her inside to an examination room.
"Elizabeth DiNozzo?" she asked; Tony nodded. "Age is about four months?" He nodded again as she ran the forehead scanner over the infant's forehead. "One hundred four point one," she noted the temperature on a chart. "The doctor will be in in about five minutes."
"Okay; her temperature went up," he noted. He sat on a chair with the baby in his arms to wait for the ER doctor.
Back at the DiNozzo house, Jared arrived thirteen minutes after Ziva called him. Ziva quickly gave the teen the details of the situation and explained to Tali and Anthony that Jared would be babysitting them and Rivka while she and Abba were at the hospital with the sick baby. Anthony fist-bumped with Jared; the teen was one of his favorite sitters.
As Ziva backed out of the driveway in Tony's truck, Ellie arrived. Ziva lowered the driver window and let Ellie know that Jared was already inside with the kids. Ellie expressed a wish for a quick diagnosis and road to recovery for Beth before Ziva sped off.
At the hospital, Ziva parked the truck and carried her mask almost to the entry doors. She called the ER reception desk to have someone meet her at the doorway. After she ended the call, she took a deep breath and reminded herself that mask was a necessary precaution due to the COVID crisis. It did little to calm her; she practiced her deep breathing exercise as she slid the mask over her nose and mouth and awaited the ER nurse.
'You can do this, Ziva. It is for your baby; she needs you right now,' Ziva tried to keep the positive self-talk going in her head to distract her mind from the covering on her face. She focused on her deep breathing exercise; inhale deeply, count to ten, let it out slowly.
The nurse came out to take Ziva's temperature. "Normally we only allow one parent to come inside for a child under eighteen, but since this is an infant, we are making an exception." She read Ziva's temperature from the device, "Okay, follow me."
Ziva followed the colorful scrubs of the nurse; the surroundings were starting to blur as her brain registered the covering over her mouth and nose. She tried to block the rising panic by focusing on a flower printed on the fabric of the nurse's scrub top. She breathed in deeply, counted to ten, exhaled slowly as she looked at the woman's back. Deep breath in, count to ten, exhale slowly. The room seemed to get smaller and the air staler as she moved deeper into the emergency area. Deep breath in, count to ten, exhale slowly… Her lungs started feeling like they were burning for air… deep breath in, count to ten, exhale slowly…
"Here you go, your husband and daughter are in this examination room," the nurse held a curtain aside so Ziva could enter. She made note of Tony standing beside the bed where their daughter lay like a wet rag. A doctor was listening to the baby's chest with a stethoscope. Tony looked up as Ziva entered.
Deep breath in, count to ten, exhale slowly… Ziva walked to her husband's side and slipped a hand into his; he squeezed her hand as she intertwined their fingers. Deep breath in, count to ten, exhale slowly; Ziva tried to focus on Beth's limp form on the bed.
"I'm going to order a blood sample drawn," the doctor informed the couple. "Hopefully, that will point us in the right direction as to what is wrong. There is no congestion in the lungs, nor is there any other sign of illness other than the high fever."
Tony nodded as the doctor spoke; Ziva barely registered the words. Deep breath in, count to ten, exhale slowly. The walls and curtains seemed to be closing in around her. Her brain short-circuited… she tugged at Tony's hand and when he turned to her, she had a panicked look in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked. The doctor looked at Ziva when Tony spoke.
"Mrs. DiNozzo?"
Ziva couldn't reply; her mind was now focused only on the damned mask. The mask that was over her face; over her mouth and nose; preventing her from breathing. Her fingers tore at the mask as she ran from the examination area; where were the doors to the outside? She glanced around and saw the doors; she ran towards the exit.
Tony was torn; he knew that Ziva was now in full-on panic mode. His baby needed him but so did his wife.
"Stay with your daughter," the doctor sensed Tony's indecision. "I will order the blood draw and find someone to check on your wife. Does she have panic attacks often?"
"Um, okay," Tony still wanted to run to Ziva, to be her rock, her safety in the internal storm. "Um, Ziva has had them in the past, but not in a while… She probably went outside." He heard the text message alert chime on his phone as he spoke. He pulled the phone from his shirt pocket; Ziva.
He swiped at the screen; 'I am fine.' He didn't believe her message one iota. The doctor had left the curtained-off examination area, probably to order the blood tests. He replied to her quickly.
'Not buying it; that was a panic attack.'
'I am in the van; A/C on full blast. I am fine.'
'Stay there; someone will be out to check you over.'
'NO! I am fine.' Tony snarled to himself; stubborn Ninja.
'Who are you trying to convince? I KNOW you are not "fine." Let a doctor check you over, please?'
'I will come to the door, but no mask. I cannot do this.' Ziva let out a sigh; she knew in her rational mind that she should be checked over. Her rational thinking was just starting to return; inside the hospital, with the mask on, all rational thinking flew out the window when her brain short-circuited.
The phlebotomist entered the cubicle with her blood kit. She checked her tablet, "Elizabeth DiNozzo?"
Tony nodded and gestured towards his little girl, still lying on the bed. She was awake but very still; her eyes were glassy from the fever.
"Since she is so young, I will be drawing the blood from her heel," the woman explained. "I may need you to keep her still once I get the needle inserted."
Tony gulped; how he hated needles… but he would be strong for his baby. "Um, yeah, sure, just let me know what to do," he replied.
He tried not to look at the syringe as she set up for the blood draw. Beth didn't even whimper or flinch when she inserted the needle into the infant's heel. Tony looked away from the needle and focused on little Beth's face.
"All done; this has a rush order on it, so the doctor should have results in about an hour," the phlebotomist packed up her kit, and marked the sample with Beth's name and record number.