Chapter 3 – With You By My Side

Ziva let a nurse check her vitals and the doctor who was attending Beth also came out to check on the child's mother. He wrote a prescription for anti-anxiety medications, but Ziva insisted that she did not want medicine because she was nursing.

"These meds are safe for your nursing baby," the doctor pointed out.

"I am nursing two, not one," Ziva replied. "I do not want my daughters to be affected by anything that I am taking."

"She's a twin?"

"Yes, and Rivka is not sick at all. The girls share a room; should I be worried about my other children also falling ill?" Ziva finally voiced a part of her fears with Beth's mystery fever. She would protect her children at any cost, even her personal health.

The doctor thought before responding, "Since we don't have results of the blood test yet, let's not get too worried at this point. If the other children seem fine, most likely they will stay well." He glanced at his phone; "In fact, the lab results are back. Let me go check what they show and I will get back to you or your husband very soon." He turned to re-enter the building as Ziva swiped the screen on her phone.

'Doctor checked me over; script for anxiety med. Almost back to normal.'

Tony replied quickly, 'Waiting for results of blood tests. Will let you know what doc says. Are you staying here or heading home?'

'I will wait outside; I cannot handle the mask over my face.' She had a strong suspicion that the mask triggered the PTSD from Somalia in her subconscious mind. Would she admit that to Tony? She wasn't sure, but her logical side said that he would figure it out anyhow.

'Okay; I love you.'

Tony put his phone in his pocket when the curtain was pushed to the side to allow the doctor to enter the cubicle. He looked up as the man frowned at his tablet screen. Beth had dozed off on the bed after Tony had stripped the child to her diaper in an effort to cool her body down some.

"Mr. DiNozzo," the doc began. "The blood tests show no signs of any infection, viral or bacterial. That would be a mostly likely scenario for an underlying cause for your baby's fever. Even the white blood cell count is normal, not showing anything that would indicate that her body is fighting an invasive presence."

"So, what you're saying is, you don't KNOW why she has the fever?"

The doctor sighed, "Exactly. I can give her some acetaminophen to attempt to reduce the fever." He consulted his tablet, "Let's see; she is twelve point three pounds. I'll have the nurse give her the first dose of medication and bring instructions and a prescription for you to take with you."

He checked the little one an additional time; she was sleeping soundly. "She doesn't seem to be dehydrated; did she eat at all today?"

"Fussy at her early morning feeding, but she nursed well mid-morning according to my wife," Tony replied. " Nothing since."

"Get some electrolyte rehydration fluid for children and infants when you get her script filled; keep her hydrated. Loose, lightweight clothing and lukewarm sponge baths will help as well. Any questions?"

Tony shook his head, then looked up from his baby, "What about my wife?"

"From what I could tell, she had a severe panic attack. Does she have them often?" the doctor replied.

Tony hesitated, "Not any more. She's had a rough life until about four years ago. It takes its toll on one's mind and body. I… I'm… not sure… how much… how much… I should share…" He trailed off; perhaps he should let Ziva share what she wanted rather than get into her whole history with a doctor who would probably only see his wife once.

The man nodded, "I gave her a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication that is safe for her to use while nursing. Change of subject; how many other children do you have?"

"Three; the oldest is six, then a three year old, and the twins were born in February," Tony replied. "Should we be worried about them getting this fever also? Is it COVID-related? Do we need to get tested?"

After the doctor reassured Tony that the mystery fever was not COVID-related nor was it caused by any type of infection that could be found via blood testing, he wrote up the discharge orders for Beth. Tony sent a text message to Ziva while he waited for the final okay to leave.

Once everything was good to go, he put the baby's onesie back on and cradled her in his left arm. She stirred slightly but did not wake. He put the back of his hand on her forehead; she felt less feverish to him. Maybe the acetaminophen was reducing the fever.

Outside, he met Ziva at the family's minivan. She had moved to the vehicle when the sun had made it too hot to sit by the walkway to the ER entrance.

"She's doing a little better," he noted to Ziva as he set the infant in her car seat. "Got a shot of fever-reducer and it seems to be working. Also have a script for more. Why don't you give me your prescription and I can get these filled and meet you at home?"

"Tony, I am fine," Ziva insisted. "I do not need any medications."

He sighed and took her hands in his, looking her in the eyes. "Ziva, you are not fine. That was a full-blown panic attack, the likes of which we haven't seen since before Anthony was born. I just…"

"Do you think I cannot take care of myself?" she replied angrily. "I got myself away from the trigger and into a neutral place. I calmed myself."

"Oh, Zi; that is not it at all," he was at a loss. "I just… I just want to know that you're okay. I don't like to see you hurting…"

"I am sorry that I exploded just now," she whispered. "It is just that… well… the feeling of being out of… of control… it frightens me. My baby needed me and I could not be there for her. I… I feel that I am a bad mother…"

"What happened?"

"The mask… over my face; I think it triggered things from… there…" she stopped and looked at him, her eyes locked with his.

Tony put a hand on his wife's cheek, "What can I do?"

Ziva shrugged, "I do not know. Well… you can continue to be the one who goes out for groceries and other supplies. I just cannot…"

"Hey," he pulled her to him. "At lo levad."

"I know."

~ Epilogue~

Two days later, Beth was back to her usual self. It was as though she never had any fever or illness at all. Tali helped with sponge baths to cool the baby down. Anthony tried to help by entertaining Rivka and making her laugh.

Ziva didn't have any more serious panic episodes; she spoke with her regular mental health professional and found an alternative to the cloth mask that allowed her to have protection and avoid the panic attacks. The plastic face shield, similar to what Jimmy used in autopsy was much better than the cloth mask, but still was not easy for Ziva to use. Even so, she did not leave the house much, preferring that Tony be the one to go out for groceries and other needed supplies.

It would be another twenty-four years before the full effect of the fever would be determined. Beth learned that the fever had damaged her ovaries and a significant number of her eggs. She and Charles had a struggle to conceive a child and when they did have their daughter and son, the young couple appreciated the miracles they had been blessed with in Rebecca and Robert.

A/N Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and follows. New story coming at the end of the week.