Divining the Truth
Luke Skywalker sat on the floor of Obi-Wan Kenobi's old residence on Tatooine, staring dejectedly at the pieces of his new lightsaber lying on the floor in front of him.
I've read the instructions over and over. I know I'm doing everything right. Why can't I get this thing to work?
Luke had returned to Tatooine almost a month ago to construct a new lightsaber while awaiting word from Chewbacca. Chewie and Lando had been on Tatooine for just over a month. Lando had been using that time to infiltrate Jabba the Hutt's palace staff and feed intel to Chewbacca. According to the timeline they'd established before leaving the Rebel fleet, Leia and Threepio should be arriving on Tatooine in the next few days. He needed to be ready by then if he was to play his part in rescuing Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt.
Luke had thought he'd left himself plenty of time to get to Ben's old place, look through his things for instructions and components, and build the lightsaber. He'd even accounted for the possibility that he might have to run into Anchorhead to get missing parts. He'd refused to allow himself to even consider the possibility that there were no instructions to be found at Ben's. His feelings had told him that he would find what he needed among Ben's items to build himself a new lightsaber.
But now his deadline was almost upon him, and he still had not constructed a working lightsaber.
He didn't understand it. He knew he was following the instructions correctly. He'd always been good at building and fixing things. He had an almost intuitive grasp of the mechanical. He knew, beyond a doubt, that all the parts and pieces were in the right places, and all the wiring was connected correctly. If this had been any other item, it would have been up and running weeks ago.
But this was a lightsaber, and there was more to constructing a lightsaber than simply putting pieces together and connecting circuits. This was the weapon of a Jedi, and, as such, the Force needed to play a role in its construction. He'd wanted to believe it was a mechanical issue because that would've been easy for him to fix. But he was finally forced to admit that it had nothing to do with the lightsaber's physical construction and everything to do with himself and his connection to the Force.
Although Luke could did feel a connection to the Force, he knew it was only a shadow of what it should be. He knew a much deeper connection was necessary to succeed in his task, but whenever he tried to establish that connection, he failed.
It wasn't hard to figure out why. He was not at peace. His own internal conflict and unresolved feelings were blocking his connection to the Force. He would never succeed in his task and find peace until he dealt with the unrest in his own soul.
Unfortunately, to do that, he knew he would have to finally deal with everything that had happened during that fateful day on Bespin. The day he had left Master Yoda, his training incomplete, to confront Darth Vader and save his friends. The day he had lost his hand and his old lightsaber. The day he had lost so much more than that.
The day he had heard the words that changed everything. I am your father.
He'd been fighting to push away the memories of that day from his conscious mind ever since. Now, it was time to stop fighting, let those memories in, and face them. No matter how much it hurt.
Luke closed his eyes and began to concentrate on his breathing. He soon sank into the meditative state in which he could easiest feel the Force surrounding him. Allowing it to penetrate him and fortify him, hoping it would aid him in his quest, he turned his thoughts inward, opening himself to the images, words, and feelings he'd experienced on that day and allowing himself to finally relive the confrontation.
He was out on the catwalk, lightsaber grasped tightly in sweating hands, tired, sore, fighting off Vader's attacks with all his strength and skill, but knowing it wasn't going to be enough. He just wasn't that good with a lightsaber, and even with the Force, he was finding it difficult to parry Vader's attacks. He found himself backing up more and more, trying not to let the fear take him, the fear of what would happen when he failed to counter one of Vader's attacks…
Then, before he knew it, he found himself lying on the catwalk, having fallen down to evade the blow he could otherwise not have avoided. Luke still had his lightsaber, but he knew he'd never be able to stop Vader if he chose to finish Luke. Vader knew it, too.
"You are beaten. It is useless to resist."
Luke, still fighting his fear, could do nothing but slowly try to slide back, away from the menacing figure above him.
"Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did."
Upon hearing those words, Luke's fear fled, to be replaced by anger. How dare Vader bring up Obi-Wan! Remembering how Vader had mercilessly cut down his old Master, Luke lashed out, hacking quickly at Vader's lightsaber and giving himself time to regain his feet.
The duel began again. Luke felt the anger give him strength, helping him keep Vader at bay, even allowing him to strike a blow on Vader's shoulder. Luke rejoiced at the sound of pain Vader made as his lightsaber cut into Vader.
But his joy was short-lived. Instead of weakening Vader or debilitating him, the blow only seemed to enrage him. Vader's blows became stronger and quicker, and within seconds, Luke found himself experiencing some of the most intense pain he'd ever felt as, with one swift stroke, Vader's lightsaber cut off Luke's right hand. Through the haze of pain, he caught a glimpse of his hand, still clutching his lightsaber, flying away from him and falling into the abyss below.
The pain's intensity began to subside, allowing Luke to quickly realize how dire his situation had become. Unarmed, in pain, on one knee on a narrow ledge, clinging to a pole, he looked up at Vader, who looked so big, so menacing, so powerful and undefeatable…
Again, seeming to echo Luke's thoughts, Vader said quietly, "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you."
No! thought Luke. I can't give up now. There's got to be some way out of this! He began to carefully slide backwards on the ledge, trying to turn himself around, being careful not to jostle his still-throbbing right arm.
Vader continued to talk as Luke did so. Luke tried to ignore him, but the quiet passion and sincerity in Vader's voice caught his ear, and he found himself listening in spite of himself. "Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy."
By this time, Luke had managed to turn himself completely around and crawled to a piece of piping. He used that to pull himself to a standing position. As he did so, he found himself filled with revulsion at Vader's words. JOIN him? Was Vader insane? Why would Vader ever think Luke would join him? "I'll never join you!" he spat.
He found himself trying to put even more distance between himself and Darth Vader, although there wasn't really anywhere else for him to go. There was only a circular protrusion at the end of the ledge he was on. After that, there was no way for him to get to the other side of the shaft.
Vader persisted, undeterred by Luke's defiant refusal. "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side…" Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Vader said, "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Still filled with revulsion and anger, Luke growled, "He told me enough. He told me you killed him."
Then, quietly, sincerely, Vader uttered the words that would change Luke's life forever. "No. I am your father."
Luke stared at Vader in disbelief. No. It couldn't be. There was no way this monster could be his father. He had to be lying. Ben had told him his father was dead. Ben would never lie to him. Never!
Yet, he sensed no artifice in Darth Vader. Vader had spoken the words as if he were stating a fact that could not be disputed. Vader is wearing black. They are on Bespin. Vader is Luke's father.
Luke knew he was shaking his head and speaking, but he had no idea what he was saying. He just knew that there was no way this could be true. His father was dead. His uncle had said so. More importantly, Ben had said so. Ben had told him the truth about his father and Luke's own heritage. Therefore, it was impossible that Vader was telling him the truth. Because if Vader was telling him the truth, that would mean that Ben had lied to him. And Ben would never lie to him. Vader had killed Ben. Vader was evil. Vader MUST be lying!
"Search your feelings," Vader continued insistently in that same quiet, sincere tone. "You know it to be true!"
With those words, Luke felt his world shattering. Everything he had ever believed, about his father, about Ben, about himself, was wrong. Ben had lied. His father was no hero, but one of the greatest monsters the galaxy had ever known. And he was the son of that monster.
For Vader was right. It was true. Luke could sense that Darth Vader believed it to be true, but that wasn't why Luke believed him. Luke just knew. It felt true in a way that defied rational explanation.
It was true, and the truth threatened to destroy him.
"NOOOOOOOO!" he screamed. "No!"
Luke wanted to collapse and give in to his grief and despair, but Vader was speaking again. He listened, afraid of what he'd hear next, but needing to know, hoping for something that could help save him.
"Luke. You can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son." Vader stretched out his hand toward Luke, silently imploring him to come to him and stand with him.
Luke felt the pull, felt the allure. Join his father. Destroy the Emperor with his father at his side. Be with him. Finally get to know the man he'd been wanting to meet his entire life.
The offer ultimately had little power over him, though. If the person standing before him making the offer was any other man than Darth Vader, he probably would've accepted it in a heartbeat. But this wasn't the spice freighter navigator he'd heard about growing up. This wasn't the Jedi Knight who was a cunning warrior, excellent pilot, and a good friend to Obi-Wan Kenobi. This was Darth Vader, the creature of the Emperor's who had killed Ben and committed countless other atrocities.
However, Luke's options were limited at the moment. Joining Vader seemed to be the only viable option.
Then he remembered Ben turning off his lightsaber and calmly standing in front of Darth Vader as Vader struck him down. He still didn't understand why Ben had done that, as it had seemed like Ben had had many other options left open to him, including potentially defeating Vader in the duel, but, for some reason, Ben had chosen death.
Luke realized he as well had that option available to him. He didn't have to join Vader. He could choose death, as Ben had.
Luke looked down into the shaft, the shaft that appeared to have no bottom. He thought about falling. What it would feel like to fall for a subjective eternity before eventually hitting the bottom he knew had to be there somewhere. He looked back up at Vader, undecided.
Vader still stood with his hand outstretched. "Come with me," he entreated. "It is the only way."
Luke made his choice. He would rather die than become the thing he hated. For he knew, if he went with Vader, if he joined with him, if he gave in to the part of himself that wanted to stand with his father and seek his help in destroying the Emperor, he would ultimately become a creature no better than Vader. Vader would complete his training, and in doing so, Luke would fall to the Dark Side.
Keeping his eyes on his father, Luke calmly let go and stepped into the abyss.
To his surprise, he didn't die. He had only fallen for a short distance before he felt himself sucked into a side tunnel, where he slid for a little bit before coming to a complete halt. Just when he thought he might get out of this alive after all, the bottom literally dropped out from beneath him. He found himself sliding once again until, all of a sudden, he found himself outside, hanging upside down from a weather vane, the ground below hidden by the clouds that gave Cloud City its name.
He managed to gather just enough strength, both physical and mental, to make an attempt to climb up the weather vane and back inside the building, but when the aperture leading inside closed, the last bit of his physical strength went with it. He dropped back down until he was hanging upside down again, feeling the despair welling up in him. He cried out to Ben, but received no answer. He remembered that Ben had told him that he would be on his own if he went to confront Vader.
He had never felt so alone.
Luke still had no idea why he had felt the urge to call to Leia, why he had felt that she would hear his call for help and respond. He was just thankful that she did.
He remembered being pulled into the Millennium Falcon by a man that he would come to learn was Han's friend Lando Calrissian, being embraced by Leia, and getting a portable bacta tank put on his arm. It was after Leia had returned to the cockpit and he was left alone again that he ended up facing what would turn out to be his biggest struggle, just when he thought the whole ordeal was over…
Luke.
Luke heard his father's voice calling to him in his mind. Even though he knew Darth Vader was not on the ship, he found himself instinctively looking around for the source of the voice.
"Father?" he answered, both out loud and in his mind.
Son. Come with me.
Luke was so physically, mentally, and emotionally battered, and the call was so compelling, that he found himself wanting to answer it. Part of it was Vader's use of the term "son." How he had longed for someone to call him that. How he had longed to have a real father that he could turn to, that would help him when he needed help, that he could learn from, would guide him, that wanted him in his life. Now he had found his father, but he knew he had to resist that call, resist the longings of his own heart, for that path would lead to Luke's own destruction. "Ben," he whispered, "why didn't you tell me?"
If only Ben had told him the truth from the beginning, the whole truth. If he had gone into this confrontation armed with the truth, he would've been better able to confront Vader. He wouldn't be feeling like he did now, so weak, barely able to hold off the feelings of despair and betrayal that threatened to overwhelm him. Those feelings made him want so badly to just give in and go to his father.
He forced himself to get up and go to the cockpit. Maybe, if he was up by his friends, he would be better able to resist.
Instead, he felt Vader's presence even more strongly. Even though he felt Lando's hands on him, supporting him, making sure he was all right, and he could see Leia's concerned glance, it was like actually seeing Darth Vader's Star Destroyer made his presence even more powerful.
Luke, Vader called again. It is your destiny.
The feelings of despair and betrayal again threatened to overwhelm him. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, desperately trying to shut out both Vader's presence and those dark feelings. "Ben," he whispered brokenly, "why didn't you tell me?"
Luke rose out of the memory, still feeling the power of the emotions he'd felt that day, as well as the tears on his face. Betrayal. Despair. They'd threatened to overwhelm him then, and they were attempting to undermine him now. He knew he had to acknowledge those emotions, face the underlying causes of them, and master them, or he would be consumed by them. He would never finish his lightsaber. He would never be able to complete his training and become a Jedi. He wouldn't be ready to do his part to save Han from Jabba. His friends were counting on him.
Fighting the panic beginning to rise in him, Luke knew he had to push these emotions away. Only if he could gain some emotional distance from them could he hope to analyze them and deal with them.
First he let go of his anxiety. Yes, there was a timeline, but he couldn't let that matter right now. He had to follow Master Yoda's teachings and pay attention to what he was doing now, not what he was going to do in the future. Now is what mattered. He could control what was happening now. The future would tend to itself once he accomplished his task now.
Beginning to feel calmer, he focused next on his feelings of betrayal. It was easy to figure out why he felt this way. He had believed that Ben had been completely honest with him. Ben had told him about the Force and the Jedi Order, guided him in his first steps on the path to becoming a Jedi, and given him his father's lightsaber. Ben had not only known his father, but unlike Uncle Owen, he'd been willing to talk about him. Ben's story about Anakin Skywalker differed from Uncle Owen's, but Ben's story had felt true in a way that Uncle Owen's had not. For the first time in his life, Luke had begun to feel a tangible connection to his father, brought to life by his father's old friend and his old lightsaber.
But now, he'd learned that Ben had lied to him. Or, at least, not been completely truthful with him. Anakin Skywalker might have been all the things that Ben had said he had been, but he most certainly had not died at the hands of Darth Vader. Instead, he had become Darth Vader. His father still lived, but he had become a monster.
Ben! he called out mentally, hoping that this time, Ben would answer his call. Why didn't you tell me the truth? Why didn't you tell me that Darth Vader is my father?
Just like a month ago, he received no answer.
I don't understand, he thought to himself. I never got the sense that he was lying about anything. He even seemed to be telling me the truth when he said that my father died at the hands of Darth Vader. But how can that be true when it's also true that Darth Vader is my father?
There's nothing I can do about it right now, Luke concluded. All I can do is believe that Ben must have had his reasons for telling me what he did. I have to trust that Ben would never have set out to deliberately hurt me. Hopefully, once I return to Dagobah, he will appear to me again, and I can ask him. Otherwise, maybe Master Yoda will be able to tell me why.
Luke drifted further into himself, the feelings of betrayal leaving him with one long, slow exhalation. He felt his connection to the Force deepening, but he knew he had more work ahead of him. The despair still clung to him. Dispelling it would not be easy, but he knew it must be done.
It hurt, though. It hurt to even think about why he was feeling this way. But if I don't face it, it will never go away. It will become part of me.
His despair was not caused by learning that Darth Vader was his father. It wasn't caused by believing that Ben had lied to him, or by having to choose between Vader and death, or even feeling like Ben had abandoned him at Bespin. No, it was because, by learning the truth about his father, he felt like he'd lost him forever.
Growing up, he'd believed Uncle Owen's story about his father being a navigator on a spice freighter. He'd been told that Anakin Skywalker had died while flying the freighter. Aside from that, the only time Uncle Owen had ever said anything about Luke's father was while trying to discourage Luke from going to the Academy.
"What do you want to go to that place for? All you'll do there is get yourself killed."
He'd tried to explain to his uncle about how he wanted more out of life than to be a moisture farmer, how he felt his destiny was out there, among the stars, and how he felt the most alive when he was flying, like he was connected with the land and his machine. He tried to reassure his uncle that he wouldn't get killed, as he was a better pilot than Biggs, and Biggs was in the top five percent of his class.
His uncle would have none of it. "Now you listen to me, Luke, and you listen good. Your father once felt exactly like you do. He couldn't wait to get off this planet and show the galaxy just how good of a pilot he was. He was always searching for adventure and excitement. And look where it got him! Dead! If he'd've stayed here and worked hard to make an honest living, like I did, maybe he'd still be alive!"
No matter how much Luke tried to get Uncle Owen to say more about his father, he failed. Uncle Owen absolutely refused to talk about Luke's father, either changing the subject or telling Luke to get back to work. Aunt Beru also wouldn't say anything, only saying that it wasn't her place to talk about him. It was up to Uncle Owen to decide what to say about Anakin Skywalker.
This lack of information and encouragement didn't stop a young Luke from wondering what his father had been like. How much did Luke look like him? Had his father been good at fixing things like Luke was? He knew he'd gotten his piloting ability from his father, as Anakin Skywalker had been the navigator on a spice freighter, but it was still reassuring to hear Uncle Owen refer to his father as a good pilot. He'd hoped he was at least as good of a pilot as his father had been.
He'd spent many nights fantasizing about his father. Maybe his father had died heroically, giving his life to save the rest of his ship's crew from pirates. Or maybe he wasn't really dead, but had been captured by those same pirates. He'd find a way to break free, come back to Tatooine, and take his son away to a more exciting life. He would tell Luke stories about his travels, teach him how to fly better, support his decision to go to the Academy. He would let Luke know how proud of him he was and how much he loved him.
Then Luke had met Ben Kenobi and learned that Anakin Skywalker had really been a Jedi Knight. Far from shattering Luke's dreams, this only bolstered them and gave them new life. Instead of creating fantasies that involved a spice freighter navigator playing the role of hero, he knew for sure that his father had been a hero. Ben had described him as a cunning warrior, a brilliant pilot, and a good friend. He'd also told Luke that he had the potential to become a Jedi Knight as well. He could follow in his father's footsteps and be proud to do so.
But then he'd gone to Bespin. He'd confronted Darth Vader. He'd learned the rest of the truth.
His father was no hero. He was no good person. In fact, he was the last person in whose footsteps Luke ever wanted to walk.
The truth of the matter was, his father was a murderer. He was the Emperor's most loyal servant. He'd betrayed the Jedi Order and slaughtered as many of them as possible, including his old Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi. According to Leia, he'd stood by, silent, as Grand Moff Tarkin gave the order to destroy Alderaan. And, again according to Leia, it was because of Darth Vader that Han had been caught, frozen in carbonite, and turned over to Boba Fett.
How could he move past this? How could he reconcile his fantasies of the heroic pilot who would sweep him away from a life of drudgery and toil and his somewhat more mature perceptions of the Jedi Knight he could be proud of and seek to emulate, with the reality of the evil monster that wanted him at his side?
And how likely is it that I will end up becoming my father after all?
Uncle Owen had once compared Luke to his father. At the time, Luke had thought this to be a good thing. When he'd learned that Anakin Skywalker had been a Jedi Knight, he'd believed that following in his father's footsteps was the way to go. He'd paid little attention to Master Yoda's reservations when it came to whether or not he should be trained as a Jedi. So he was a little impatient and got angry sometimes. So he craved adventure and excitement. So he always looked to the future. So what? What was the big deal?
But Master Yoda had also said those were traits he had in common with his father, and they were not spoken of in a complimentary fashion. Did that make it more likely that he would succumb to the Dark Side?
He'd listened carefully to Ben's and Master Yoda's admonitions about the Dark Side. Ben had told him about how Darth Vader had succumbed to it, and he knew he wanted to be nothing like Vader. But he also knew he had problems controlling his fear and anger. He thought back to his failure at the cave, where he had struck down an image of Darth Vader in a moment of hatred and rage, and saw his own face revealed in Vader's helmet.
Could that really happen to him? Was Vader right, and this was his destiny? Would the son become the father, and succumb to the Dark Side?
He knew he'd come very close at Bespin. He remembered again hearing Vader's call on the Millennium Falcon after being rescued from the weather vane. He remembered how the feelings of betrayal and despair had almost overwhelmed him, and how close he'd come to giving in and agreeing to go with Vader. If Artoo and Chewie hadn't gotten the hyperdrive fixed when they did, I would've been lost. I would've continued to feel Vader's presence, his ship would've tractored the Falcon inside, and I would've agreed to join him. I would've pleaded with him to let my friends go, but I would've already made my choice before the tractor beam had even acquired a lock.
But even as he thought this, Luke knew that it didn't mean that falling to the Dark Side was inevitable. Ben knew what my father had become, but he chose to train me without a second thought. Master Yoda was reluctant at first, but he ultimately chose to train me, and he never acted like he thought that falling to the Dark Side was my destiny. Instead, he spent a lot of time teaching me how to recognize the Dark Side and preparing me to face that challenge.
A brief flash of memory popped into Luke's mind. He had just failed to raise his submerged X-wing out of the swamp on Dagobah. After proclaiming the task impossible, Luke had been amazed to see Master Yoda step forward and, with little effort, raise the X-wing out of the swamp as easily as Luke could levitate the tiniest pebble. When Luke had said he couldn't believe it, Master Yoda had sadly told him, "That is why you fail."
Raising the X-wing then was only impossible because I believed it to be so. I need to believe now that it's possible for me to resist the Dark Side. Yes, there is fear, anger, and hate in me, but I can't allow myself to give in to those feelings and let them control me. In this, I must not fail!
Luke's resolve to return to Dagobah and complete his training grew even stronger. With more training, maybe he would be better equipped to resist the Dark Side the next time.
He realized that, sometime during this latest meditation, the despair had left him. He felt almost at peace. Almost. He knew he hadn't fully reconciled the disparate perceptions he had of his father. That wasn't bothering him the same way it had before, but he kept feeling like there was something about this that he wasn't seeing or understanding. But what?
He went over it again in his mind. He'd always pictured his father as a hero and a good person, whether he believed him to be a navigator on a spice freighter or a Jedi Knight. Now he knew him to be Darth Vader, who was anything but. That was the crux of his dilemma, yet he felt that this wasn't what was niggling at him.
Feelings. Maybe that was the key. He was thinking about this too much. What was niggling at him had something to do with perceptions, but more so something to do with feelings. He allowed images and memories to come into his mind at will, concentrating on the feelings associated with them.
Being a young boy, longing for his father, wanting to know him, wanting to love him and be loved by him in return.
The surge of joy he'd felt upon hearing Uncle Owen confirm that his father had also been an excellent pilot who craved excitement and adventure.
The thrill of finally meeting someone aside who'd actually known his father and was willing to talk about him.
The excitement and rightness of learning not only about his Jedi heritage, but that his father had been a Jedi Knight. How honored he'd felt to hold his father's lightsaber in his hand and ignite it. How connected he'd felt to his father in that very moment.
The fear and anger he'd battled in himself as he desperately fought to keep Vader's lightsaber at bay.
The anger, rage, and a hint of pride from Vader as he fought Luke and realized just how much he'd learned.
His own anger and fury when Vader dared to talk about Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Vader's almost desperate desire for Luke to join him and help him overthrow the Emperor.
Vader's lust for power and desire to rule the galaxy.
An undercurrent of excitement and awe in Vader as he told Luke he was his father, and how desperately he wanted his son to believe him.
The pull from Vader for Luke to come to him, to stand with him, to learn from him and work with him to overthrow the Emperor and help him rule the galaxy.
Vader's brief flicker of shock and horror the moment Luke stepped into the abyss and chose death.
Vader's powerful, seductive call across space, enticing Luke to come to him and join him because it is his destiny. Vader's triumph and excitement at the realization that Luke was weakening, that soon his son would stand with him.
Luke's just-as-powerful desire to answer that call, to give in, to go to his father and quit fighting, to let his father teach him and help him rid the galaxy of the scourge known as the Emperor.
The surge of joy Vader had felt when Luke called him Father for the first time.
The brief moment of love and tenderness as Vader responded, "Son."
Luke opened his eyes, shocked. "That's it!" he whispered in awe, almost trembling in excitement and amazement. "That's what I was sensing. There is still good in him!"
Hope surged anew in him as he tried to make sense of what he had just perceived, wanting to be sure it was true and not a last-ditch attempt to make his father into a good person in spite of the facts.
Yes, he had sensed a lot of anger and fury in Vader. He knew that a lot of Vader's desire to have Luke's help was rooted in his lust for power. He primarily wanted to overthrow the Emperor so he could take his place. Luke also had sensed fear in Vader, a fear of the Emperor, and a belief that he couldn't destroy the Emperor without help. The Emperor had apparently foreseen that Luke would overthrow him, so therefore Vader had come to believe that Luke was his best chance of helping him attain his goals.
A cynical person could argue that Vader had told Luke the truth solely to attempt to demoralize him and make him more open to his persuasion. After all, that's exactly the effect the truth had had on him. But Luke had sensed the excitement in Vader as he told him the truth, and how desperately he wanted his son to believe him. It did not feel like the excitement one would feel upon twisting the dagger in his prey, but of one who's finally saying words he'd never thought he'd be able to say.
And then there were the other feelings and sensations he had picked up from Vader. Most of those were brief and fleeting, and many were jumbled up in the darker emotions and motivations that comprised the majority of Darth Vader's internal makeup, but they were there, nonetheless.
When Vader spoke of how much Luke had learned from Obi-Wan, there was a brief flicker of pride. Not pride in the skills of a pawn, but a father's pride in his son.
Why would Darth Vader, if he were completely consumed by evil, feel genuine horror upon seeing his son choosing to die rather than join him? Wouldn't he be feeling rage and fury instead?
And then there was that whole exchange on the Millennium Falcon. When Vader had called his name, there'd been a different feeling to the presence for a moment. The fear, anger, and hatred that normally permeated Darth Vader's being seemed to be muted. He realized now that he'd responded instinctively to that sense, and that's why he'd called him Father instead of Vader.
There was no mistaking what had followed. For a moment, he had felt like he was talking not with Darth Vader but with someone else, a presence that was capable of feeling joy and love. For a moment, he'd truly connected with Anakin Skywalker, his father, for the very first time in his life.
The connection was brief, as the darker emotions rose up and regained their hold on the presence, but it had been there. Anakin Skywalker had been there. He'd spoken to Luke, called him Son. Anakin Skywalker loved him, or at least loved the idea of him, of having a son being alive and knowing about him.
"I was wrong about you," Luke said to the memory of his father's presence. "All this time, I believed that I was destined to confront you and slay you. I looked forward to that. I thought you were irredeemably evil and that you deserved to die for all you had done. But the Force has helped me to realize otherwise. There is still good in you, and I will do everything in my power to help you break free from the Dark Side."
Smiling, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and sank once again into trance.
A few minutes later, he extended his hand in front of him. The pieces of his lightsaber began to move.
Some time later, Luke emerged from the back room of Ben's old place. R2-D2, who had been waiting patiently, turned and beeped inquiringly.
Luke smiled triumphantly and ignited his lightsaber. A shining green light emerged from the hilt. "I'm ready now."
The End
Author's Notes: While rewatching Return of the Jedi recently, I got the impression that Luke had already concluded that there was good in Darth Vader even before returning to Dagobah. This got me to thinking about how he might have come to that conclusion, which in turn drove me back to The Empire Strikes Back. Something had to have happened during Luke's confrontation with Vader and/or with the Force contact he had with Vader after being rescued by the Falcon to have given Luke reason to believe this about Vader. This is my take on how Luke might have come to this conclusion.
As for the process of lightsaber construction, I admit I am more influenced by the lightsaber construction sequence in Michael A. Stackpole's I, Jedi than I am by more recent depictions (most notably in The Clone Wars cartoon), so any deviation from the now-canon way and significance of constructing a lightsaber is due to that.
DISCLAIMER: The flashback sequence was directly lifted from The Empire Strikes Back and therefore was not created by me. All credit goes to George Lucas, Leigh Brackett, and Lawrence Kasdan for the plot and dialogue of those scenes.
Copyright March 31, 2020.