"Tawnyspots, may I go on the sunhigh hunting patrol?" Lilyspark asked.
The sun had risen five times since Snowfur had been killed on the Thunderpath. Since then, Lilyspark had spent nearly every waking minute outside of the camp, joining as many hunting and border patrols as possible. When there weren't any patrols to join, she would offer to gather fresh bedding for the elders or collect herbs for Featherwhisker. She was tired, admittedly, but she needed a way to cope with the loss of her sister, and she had found it in throwing herself fully into her duties as a warrior.
"Are you sure?" Tawnyspots asked, looking at her in concern. "You've just come back from the dawn patrol, and I know you were on the twilight patrol last night. You must be exhausted."
"I'm fine," Lilyspark insisted. "I'll rest when I get back."
It was a lie and both of them knew it, but Tawnyspots merely nodded and replied, "Very well."
"Thank you," she meowed, dipping her head respectfully.
As she was about to turn to join the rest of the patrol–consisting of Stormtail, Dappletail, and Thrushpelt–at the gorse tunnel, the ThunderClan deputy called out, "Wait a moment, Lilyspark."
"Yes? What is it?" she asked, glancing back over her shoulder.
"When you get back, I need you to speak to Bluefur," the gray tabby meowed, a grim expression on his face. "I know she's been upset about losing Snowfur, but she hasn't gone on any patrols or even really left the camp since she died. I can't have any of my warriors becoming liabilities."
"Don't you think you're being a little unfair?" Lilyspark asked, frowning. "You said it yourself, she's upset about losing Snowfur. Is it really a surprise that she doesn't feel up to doing her usual warrior duties?"
Tawnyspots shook his head. "Loss is a part of Clan life," he growled. "Snowfur's death was a tragic accident. But Bluefur seems to be the only one out of you, Moonflower, Sunstar, and Thistleclaw who hasn't moved on. I don't think she's even trying."
Lilyspark hesitated for a few heartbeats, averting her gaze to the ground. In truth, she knew that Bluefur had been neglecting her duties, forcing her Clanmates to pick up the slack. Due to this, as well as the fact that she herself was rarely in the camp these days, Lilyspark rarely crossed paths with her older sister anymore. But she couldn't help feeling sympathetic at the same time. Perhaps Bluefur simply didn't know how to cope with losing Snowfur.
Shaking her head to clear it, she replied, "I'll see what I can do, but I'm not sure how much help I can be."
"All I ask is that you try," Tawnyspots meowed calmly. He flicked his tail and added, "Now, I think I've kept you long enough, so go on and join the rest of the patrol. They look ready to go anyway."
She nodded and turned around, padding over to join the rest of the hunting patrol at the gorse tunnel. The three cats meowed a quick greeting to her as she fell in line behind Thrushpelt. Pausing briefly to give her chest fur a lick, Lilyspark followed her Clanmates out of the camp and into the forest. She tasted the air for any sign of prey, but the only scents she could detect were already stale. If they were going to find any fresh-kill, they would have to venture further into the woods.
Then again, that's what hunting patrols are for, Lilyspark thought to herself.
"Where should we go, Stormtail?" Dappletail asked. Lilyspark guessed that the blue-gray tom must be leading the patrol, or perhaps Dappletail was simply asking him because he was her mate.
"We'll head towards Fourtrees and make our way to Twolegplace," Stormtail decided.
"Good idea," Thrushpelt agreed. "And we'd better check to make sure none of the other Clans have decided to 'accidentally' stray over the border."
Stormtail nodded and turned to lead the patrol in the direction of Fourtrees. As they padded through the forest, Lilyspark kept her senses pricked, alert for any sign of prey lurking in the bushes. A robin landed on a branch high above her head, but she didn't feel like making an attempt to go after it, so she decided to just let it be. Unfortunately, this didn't go unnoticed by Thrushpelt, who frowned at her.
"You could catch that robin, you know," her former mentor meowed. "The Clan needs all the prey it can get."
"I know," Lilyspark meowed defensively. "But I don't like heights. You know that."
"Well, you're going to have to get used to climbing sooner or later," Thrushpelt lectured her. "What are you going to do if something goes wrong and you have to catch birds?"
"That would never happen," Lilyspark scoffed.
"It hasn't happened yet," he replied. "Who's to say it won't?"
"Because it's completely ridiculous," she replied incredulously. "There's no way every single animal in the forest except the birds will suddenly disappear one day. Where would they even go? Or do you think they would just vanish into thin air?"
"We're wasting time," Stormtail meowed irritably. "If you two are going to stand there bickering all day, we'll continue the patrol without you."
"Very well," Thrushpelt meowed, frowning at Lilyspark. "But the next time we come across a piece of prey, I expect you to at least make an effort to go after it. I taught you better than that."
Lilyspark dug her claws into the ground. "You know what? Fine!" she snarled. "I'll get the stupid robin if it means so much to you."
Whirling around, she stormed over to the tree where the robin had perched itself and hooked her claws into the bark. Careful not to make any noise, Lilyspark slowly made her way up the trunk until she had reached the red-chested bird's branch. Slowly, she climbed onto the branch and crouched down, vividly aware of the way the wind was ruffling her fur. Taking a deep breath, she lunged forward and pinned the robin down, biting hard into its neck. With her trophy clutched firmly in her jaws, she leaped down from the branch, landing safely on the forest floor.
"Satisfied now?" she asked sarcastically, glaring at Thrushpelt.
Her former mentor nodded. "Well done," he meowed.
"Fox-heart," she muttered under her breath, scowling at her former mentor. She had half a mind to spit on the robin but managed to restrain herself from doing so.
"It was a good catch," Dappletail told her.
"Thanks," Lilyspark muttered. Without even bothering to look at Thrushpelt, she buried her catch and stalked off.
By the time they reached Fourtrees, Lilyspark was still refusing to acknowledge the sandy-gray warrior, although she had hunted well. She had caught two squirrels, a mouse, and three voles so far. The rest of the patrol had fared well themselves, and Lilyspark knew the Clan would be eating well that night.
Well, except for her, she thought, her mind wandering over to Bluefur.
Even though she had agreed to talk to her, Lilyspark still didn't know what she was going to say to her sister later. For that matter, she didn't even know if Bluefur would want to talk to her. The older molly had barely acknowledged their parents since Snowfur's death, choosing instead to spend her time brooding alone. Lilyspark figured it wouldn't go over well if she tried to lecture Bluefur about neglecting her duties. It didn't seem like it was really her place to say anything either, and she wondered why Tawnyspots hadn't just gone to talk to Bluefur himself.
Maybe he thinks she'll handle it better coming from me? Lilyspark mused.
Another robin landed on the top branch of one of the massive oak trees surrounding the sacred Gathering land. Lilyspark didn't feel much like climbing again, but she wasn't in the mood to receive another lecture from Thrushpelt either, so with a resigned sigh, she padded over to the oak and began hoisting herself up. Keeping her eyes trained on her prize, the white-furred warrior slowly clawed her way along the trunk, taking extra care not to look down.
All of this climbing had better be worth it, she thought irritably.
After what felt like moons, Lilyspark finally reached the top branch. Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself up until she was seated safely a few paces away from the robin. At the last possible second, it finally noticed her, but it was too late by then. Reaching out with her right forepaw, she slashed her claws over the bird's throat, killing it instantly.
"Great," Lilyspark muttered to herself, gripping her catch tightly in her jaws. "Now, if I could just get back down..."
Careful not to drop the robin, she turned herself so that her tail was pointed toward the ground and began to make her way down the trunk. It was a painfully slow process, but after a while, Lilyspark could finally see the waiting figures of her Clanmates growing larger. She was almost tempted to wave at them but refrained, not wanting to take the risk of losing her grip and falling the rest of the way. Once she was just a few tail-lengths off the ground, she allowed herself to drop, landing on the forest floor with a thud.
Well, that was more graceful of a landing than when I caught that blackbird during my warrior assessment, Lilyspark thought to herself in amusement.
"Well done!" Thrushpelt purred, snapping her out of her thoughts.
Lilyspark snapped her head around to face him. "What? I just–"
"Lilyspark," Dappletail interrupted, staring at her with wide eyes. "Do you realize what you just did? You made it all the way to the top of one of the Great Oaks."
"I did?" she asked, frowning. Slowly, however, the realization finally hit her and she felt a spark of excitement. "I did! I made it all the way to the top!"
"You did well," Stormtail admitted. It was the first time he had spoken to her willingly all day.
Thrushpelt took a deep breath. "Lilyspark," he meowed seriously. "Do you know why I made you go after the robin earlier?"
"Er...because the Clan needs food?" Lilyspark answered, staring at her mentor in confusion. What's he getting at now?
"That was part of the reason," her former mentor acknowledged, twitching his ear. "But it was also because I needed you to prove to yourself that you could do it."
Lilyspark just stared at him in confusion.
Sensing her bewilderment, Thrushpelt continued, "I know you're afraid of heights, Lilyspark, and you've done well so far, all things considered. But every time you've been faced with a choice between going after a potential catch and staying on the ground, you almost always choose the second option. You spend so much time worrying about falling and thinking about how much you hate climbing that you won't even try. I know you can overcome your fear and so does everyone else, but if you insist on running away all the time instead of confronting it yourself, you'll never realize it yourself."
"I...guess that makes sense," Lilyspark agreed, nodding. She let out a sigh. "Sorry for being a brat earlier. I just..."
Thrushpelt rested his tail gently on her shoulder. "Apology accepted."
By the time they arrived back at the camp, it was nearly time for the sunset patrols to depart. All four of them were sore and tired, but their jaws were filled with enough fresh-kill to last at least three days. Lilyspark padded through the gorse tunnel with her head held high. She hadn't caught the most prey–that honor went to Dappletail–but she had done exceptionally well.
Tawnyspots was sitting by the fresh-kill pile when they went to deposit their load. "Good job, all of you," he meowed approvingly. "Take a piece each and enjoy yourselves."
Despite herself, Lilyspark felt her shoulders sag with relief. After being out of the camp nearly all day, she had to admit that it would be nice to relax for a while. But, she promised herself, she wouldn't allow herself to rest for long. She would take the rest of the evening off and get a proper night's sleep, but she would be out at dawn again. Perhaps, if she was lucky, Bluefur might even want to join her.
"And Lilyspark!" Tawnyspots called out as she turned to walk away, carrying her pigeon with her. "Don't forget what we talked about earlier."
Oh, right. Lilyspark had forgotten all about the deputy's request. Dipping her head respectfully, she replied, "Of course, Tawnyspots."
Turning around, she scanned the clearing for her sister. There she was, seated just outside the warriors' den as she always seemed to be these days. She was utterly alone, which Lilyspark decided was a good thing. At least this way, they wouldn't be overheard. Trying to plan out what she was going to say, she started to head over to join the blue-furred molly, only to be intercepted by Thistleclaw.
"Lilyspark," he greeted her.
"Thistleclaw," she replied warily. They had promised to put up with each other for Snowfur's sake, but now that she was dead, Lilyspark didn't know if the agreement still held up. "What do you want?"
"I saw the prey you brought back. You did well," the spiky-furred warrior meowed smoothly.
Now Lilyspark was even more confused. In all her life, she had never heard Thistleclaw willingly praise anyone except Snowfur. It almost seemed as though he thought he would spontaneously combust if he gave anyone a compliment. He certainly never had any kind words for her, so what was he playing at now?
"Er...well, thanks," Lilyspark answered finally. "That's...unusually nice of you to say."
Thistleclaw nodded. "What do you say we go hunting tomorrow?" he suggested. There was a moment's pause before he added, "Together, I mean."
"No thanks," she answered as soon as she had recovered from the shock. "I think I'll just go by myself. See you later, though."
Eager to escape the awkward conversation, Lilyspark pushed her way past the spiky-furred tom and walked the rest of the way over to where Bluefur was sitting. She placed the pigeon on the ground and took a seat beside her sister, but if Bluefur was at all aware of her presence, she didn't say anything. A few moments of silence passed before Lilyspark cleared her throat, causing the blue-gray warrior's head to turn towards her.
"Oh, Lilyspark," Bluefur meowed flatly. She didn't sound annoyed, but she didn't sound particularly excited to see her either. "I didn't know you were there."
"It's fine," Lilyspark answered, pushing the pigeon over to the older warrior. "Want to share this?"
"No thanks," her sister meowed, turning her head away. "I'm not very hungry."
"Okay," Lilyspark meowed, trying to decide how to begin the conversation Tawnyspots had insisted she had with her older sister. "Bluefur, I wanted to–"
"Not now," Bluefur interrupted, still not looking at her. "Please, Lilyspark, I just want to be alone right now."
Realizing that there was no way she could talk to Bluefur in this state, Lilyspark merely nodded and picked up her pigeon, carrying it over to where Moonflower and Sunstar were sharing tongues. Out of habit, she glanced over her shoulder to see that Bluefur was still staring blankly ahead, her head resting on her paws. A pang of sorrow hit her and she turned away, not wanting to be witness to any more of her sister's misery.
How am I supposed to help if she doesn't even let me speak to her?