Hermione woke up early the next morning. It took her a few seconds to realize that she was in Harry and Ginny's living room and that a voice calling her name was the reason why she was suddenly awake.
"Hermione?" the groggy voice said once more, "What are you doing here?"
Hermione looked over the edge of the sofa and saw Harry standing in the middle of the room with a cooing Albus in his arms.
"Hey Harry," Hermione said in a raspy voice, "I'm sorry - I guess I just didn't know where else to go.."
She thought of last night and instantly felt her stomach turn as she remembered Fred's final words before she had flooed away. It made the tears burn in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked softly and sat down next to her on the sofa, "does Ginny know you're here?"
"I do!" Ginny emerged from the kitchen with a teapot and three mugs, "I saw you earlier, Hermione - although I'm quite sure that you weren't here when I came home last night.."
"I know. I flooed here in the middle of the night. I didn't think you'd mind. I just...I couldn't go home."
Harry's eyes were suddenly ablaze and his hands were balled up into fists, "Did Wood hurt you?"
"No!!" Hermione assured him, "nothing of the sort. Oliver's been the perfect gentleman. It's...it's Fred."
"Fred??" Harry and Ginny said at the same time.
"What did my stupid brother do now?" Ginny said angrily and squinted her eyes, "did he pull a prank on you? Cause I swear to God that if he as much as looks at you the wrong way, I will rip off his left testi-"
Harry cut her off, "Honey.. I don't think that's it."
"It isn't?" Ginny asked, "no pranks?"
"No pranks," Hermione confirmed.
"I don't understand.."
"I uhm - I slept with Fred."
Ginny and Harry went completely silent for a few seconds.
"You slept with Fred?" Ginny asked perplex, "what about Oliver?"
Hermione shook her head vigorously, "it happened before Oliver and I got back together. During Christmas. After all those firewhiskeys, Fred told me that he fancied me and we ended up shagging."
"You shagged the night before Christmas?"
"Yes.."
"And then again last night?" Ginny tried.
Hermione shook her head once more, "No - It was just that one time! Last night I only went to his flat to surprise him. But in my state of intoxication I accidentaly told him that I fancy him as well and that I'm confused about what to do since I'm with Oliver. He got really angry with me and ended up telling me that he doesn't want to see me anymore," Hermione could feel her heart burn in her chest.
"He got angry with you? Why?" Ginny asked.
Hermione told them about everything that had happened between her and Fred since last summer. They both let her speak freely without any interruptions. As she was done with her tale, Ginny had a hurtful look in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Hermione. You shouldn't have been alone with all this."
"You had a lot to tend to on your own. With James and Albus."
"Still... I feel really bad!" Ginny sighed.
"You don't have to, Gin. I understand.."
"What about Wood?" Harry asked softly.
"I used to think that he was the one but now I'm not so sure. I still love him but I can't stop thinking about Fred."
"You should go talk to Fred!" Ginny said tenderly, "I'm sure he'll understand now that he has calmed down."
Hermione shook her head, "I have never seen him this serious before. I have caused him so much heartbreak. He really doesn't care about me anymore."
"I think he does. But you need to figure out what you're going to do about Oliver and you need to be sure. Because you can't have them both."
"I know. It's just rough breaking up with someone you love."
"I know, Hermione. But you shouldn't talk to Fred before you've ended things with Oliver for good. And even then you need to be sure of your decision because Fred does not deal with heartbreak that well and he's already been through enough."
-
Three weeks later, Hermione still hadn't broken up with Oliver. She knew that she had to eventually, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it to him. She couldn't cause anymore heartbreak.
She knew that he had noticed the tension she was walking around with. She randomly burst out in tears and blamed it on her workload, even though she knew that Oliver wasn't stupid. He had probably put two and two together long ago. But Oliver had never mentioned anything to her. He just held her close as she wept and made sure that she got through each day. In return, she repaid him the worst possible way: she kept her mouth shut and selfishly welcomed the feeling of being comforted through her heartbreak.
"Love, there's something that I think we need to talk about.." Oliver said one night as him and Hermione were lying in bed. He was holding her close, whispering softly.
"Yeah?" Hermione said, nervous about what was to come.
It seemed as if Oliver needed a few seconds to get the words across his lips but he finally managed to croak, "I think we need to talk about Fred.."
She turned around so her and Oliver were now lying face to face, "Fred?" She said as if she had no idea what he was on about. She gave herself a mental kick - why couldn't she just be honest with him?
Oliver lifted his eyebrows at her, "please don't insult my intelligence, Hermione. I know that the two of you had some sort of falling out."
Hermione didn't say anything.
"Well, didn't you?" Oliver asked her softly.
"We did.." Hermione finally admitted with a croak, "I don't know why I didn't just tell you."
Oliver went quiet and looked as if he was choosing his next words with care, "Because you're in love with him..." he whispered.
Hermione's breath hitched in her throat, "no I'm not," she spluttered.
"I know you.. you'd never act this way if it wasn't something like that. Please just admit to it," he said calmly, "if not for my sake then for your own.."
Hermione took a few seconds to think it through. "I tried to make it go away," she whispered.
"I know love. I've seen the guilt in your eyes."
"When did you realise..?" Her voice trailed off.
"I saw the way you were looking at eachother at new years," Oliver said in a sad tone, "and I knew that it was only a matter of time. But I was selfish and kept telling myself that it wasn't too late for you to come back to me even though I knew it wasn't true."
"Nothing has happened between me and Fred. Nothing that you don't already know of - I swear!" Hermione defended herself, "I would never..." her voice trailed off.
"I know, love," Oliver said with a sad smile, "I know you'd never do that to me. But the moment you told me about him was also the moment I knew that our relationship had an expiry date. You've always had a soft spot for him."
"I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered, "I never meant for any of this to happen. I tried to ignore it. I wanted to be with you."
"I don't blame you, love. I blame myself for breaking up with you back in November. It was stupid of me. I never should have done that," he shook his head.
"If it's any consolation, I truly thought it was you and me forever. You know that, right?"
"I know, love. I just... I never stood a chance against him."
A tear spilled from Hermione's eye. The hurt in Oliver's voice was too much to bear. She couldn't believe this was happening, "why aren't you more angry with me?" She sobbed.
"What good would that do any of us?" He gave out a sad chuckle, "Your happiness is the most important thing to me. Even if it's with someone else."
"You're a good guy, Oliver." Hermione put her hand in his and whispered, "what do we do now?"
"Well.. we break up, and then we go to sleep, and tomorrow morning you go to work as any other day and then you do whatever you need to do to be happy again," he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, "the worst part of this is has not been seeing you fall gradually in love with Fred Weasley, but seeing you fall apart because of it."
"I don't deserve your kindness.." Hermione whispered.
"For weeks I've been waiting for you to break up with me but I don't think you could ever bring yourself to actually do it, so I'm letting you go for my own sake as well. This is just as much a kindness to myself as it is to you."
Hermione leaned in and kissed him softly for the last time, "thank you, Oliver."
-
In the months that followed, Hermione spent all her free time taking care of herself. In the midst of all the turbulence, she needed to find herself again without any external outputs so she cancelled all her social plans to have some alone time and to truly focus on herself. She went for a lot of walks, cooked her favourite meals, and read all of her favourite books. She had no contact to anyone except for the occasional letter to Ginny to assure her that she was doing fine.
It wasn't until Aubrey's birthday in mid-October, that she decided to get out of hiding. Aubrey would be celebrating her 25th birthday at the Leaky Cauldron and Hermione knew that all of her friends would be there. A perfect occasion to come back to life.
On Friday October 17th Hermione walked in the doors of The Leaky Cauldron. She looked at her watch; she was 20 minutes late on purpose.
The Leaky Cauldron was packed with people. She scouted the room for her friends and found Aubrey at the counter paying for a colourful drink. Aubrey lit up as her eyes locked with Hermione's, "you came!" She squealed.
"Of course I came. Happy birthday! I wouldn't miss it for the world," Hermione smiled at her friend.
"I'm so glad you're here! We haven't seen you in ages and ages! Come on - the rest of the lot are over here!" Aubrey grabbed Hermione's hand and let her through the crowded dance floor.
"Look who came," Aubrey squealed as she reached a booth a bit away from the crowd.
Hermione was met by roars of excitement and laughed wholeheartedly as she saw Ron, Harry, Ginny, Neville, Luna, George and...Fred. In contrast to the rest of the party, he wasn't smiling at her - although he didn't look angry either.
Her stomach fluttered by the mere sight of him. She hadn't seen him for so long and it had pained her every day. He seemed to be doing quite well for himself. He had definitely built some muscle mass since last she had seen him and he had grown out his hair to match George's. She wanted to throw herself into his arms just to be close to him again. To breathe in his scent. Gun powder. Cloves. Pine. It felt as if time stood still. She wanted to look at him forever, but eventually she had to turn away her gaze. After what felt like an eternity, she pried her eyes away from his and put on a brave smile, "Hi guys. I'm so glad to see you! Let me just grab a beer and I'll be back, okay?"
George cleared his throat, "Yeah, I'll join you," he said before he emptied his beer and got up from his seat next to Fred.
As George and Hermione reached the bar, George ordered two beers for them, and turned towards Hermione, "you said you wanted beer, right?"
"Yeah, thanks.."
They stood in silence for a few seconds before Hermione finally realised that she hadn't seen George since before Angelina had given birth, "Ginny tells me that you're a father now."
George's face lit up, "yeah! To a boy! Ten fingers, ten toes. Looks like his mum - thankfully!" He laughed, "although I can't really run from the hair. You'd think that Angie's black hair would be the dominant trait, but I guess the Weasley genes prevail," he looked awfully proud of himself.
"Congratulations, George. Fatherhood suits you!" She smiled at him, "Have you decided on a name yet?"
"We contemplated calling him Fred for a while but we didn't want to give Freddy the satisfaction," George laughed, "I think we'll go with something else. Maybe Arthur. After dad."
"I've always liked Arthur!" Hermione said truthfully, "I can't wait to meet him. I'm so happy for you guys!"
"Thanks, Granger. But - believe it or not - my awfully cute and chubby son is actually battling you on who's everyone's favourite topic of the night," he winked at her, "disappearing like that on all of us. Very you-know-who done of you," he laughed, "So how've you been? What happened?"
"I guess I just needed a small break from everything," she shrugged, suddenly aware that Fred hadn't told George anything.
"How's Wood doing?" He asked her.
"Uh, well.. actually I'm not sure. I haven't spoken to him since we broke up."
George's eyebrows furrowed, "you're not with Wood anymore?"
Why didn't he know that? She had asked Ginny to deliver the news. "Well no. We broke up ages ago.."
"Why haven't you told anyone?" George looked partially shocked and partially offended.
"I needed some time alone to take care of myself, so I told Ginny to tell you lot," Hermione answered him truthfully.
George shook his head, "Okay, let me rephrase; why haven't you told Fred?"
"I didn't think he'd be interested in knowing," Hermione huffed.
"Listen, I don't know what happened between the two of you and he won't tell me, but could you please just...fix him? He's a mess and he's no fun to be around - and I know for a fact that you're involved big time, so please do something, okay? I don't want Arthur to grow up with a drag of an uncle - he already has Percy and that's more than enough!"
Hermione felt her cheeks getting hot. There was something about being berated by a Weasley twin that made you question every decision you had ever made.
"I honestly don't think he wants to talk to me, George," Hermione mumbled.
"He might not seem like it, but I know my brother. Trust me; he wants it more than anything in the world."
"He told me that he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore," Hermione said with a stern tone.
"He's just being a stubborn bugger - you know him!"
"I know he's stubborn! That's why I knew he was being serious when he told me to stay away from him."
"Come on, Hermione. You and I both know that he only said those things because he thought you would live happily ever after with Wood," George looked at her.
"George.." Hermione shook her head, "I told Fred that I wanted to break up with Oliver. I told him that I wanted to be with him and he hardly even reacted to it. If he needs to stay away from me to protect himself then I accept that.."
George rolled his eyes, "he doesn't need any of that. He's just being daft. You know; he has been pestering Ginny and Harry with news about you for months. Ginny hasn't told him a single thing - hell she wouldn't even tell me whenever Fred sent me as a spy - said that he could talk to you himself."
"But he didn't," Hermione said while crossing her arms.
"Blimey, and you think Fred's the stubborn one?" George laughed at her, "come on Hermione. How do you feel right now?"
"Honestly? A little attacked," she joked.
"Ha-ha," George said in an mock laugh, "come on!"
"Alright," Hermione said and took a deep breath, "I miss him more than anything in the world. I don't even care if he doesn't want me anymore. I just want him to be part of my life again. No matter how small a part," With every word she felt a pound lighter. It felt so good to finally say it out loud.
"Why don't you tell him that?"
"I don't know. Maybe," Hermione shrugged.
"Think about it, okay?" George said, "let's go back to the others, yeah?"
Hermione followed him back to the table in silence and took the seat next to Neville and Aubrey in the opposite end of Fred.
George reclaimed his old seat next to Fred and leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Hermione guessed that it was probably the news about her and Oliver. She had hoped that the news would make Fred look at her with excited anticipation but he just scoffed and shook is head at George.
She slunk down in her seat and tried concentrating on what the others were saying. Harry and Ron were asking her a million questions about her exile and she tried to answer them with as much friendliness as she could muster, but in reality her concentration was on Fred who wasn't even sparing her a glance. She was glad to see that he was doing great for himself, but felt a pang when she realised that although his well-known smile was perfectly in place, she hadn't been on the receiving end of it for months.