Ceony wouldn't tell a single solitary soul, but when Emery was away, Ceony would look around the cottage. It was technically their cottage, so she decided she assumed the right to do so.
Emery had started accumulating more and more meetings with Tagis Praff and the school over trivial things, leaving Ceony to roam around to do her bidding.
She had explored the majority of the cottage, though the only place she hadn't quite explored was Emery's bedroom. Well, it was technically their bedroom at that point, but Ceony didn't prod around here much, to avoid getting caught.
Until now.
Though, after one clean sweep around, nothing of interest came up. Emery didn't keep much in the bedroom, besides his coats and clothes in his closets and a whole lot of knickknacks and paper. She was just about to give up on her exploration when she realized she didn't check underneath the king bed the two shared. Ceony got on her knees, pulling the bed covers up.
One wooden box lay in the middle of the dark, dusty wasteland. It wasn't large, but it was big enough to hold a few 8" by 10" pieces of paper. Ceony hesitantly took it, unsure if she wanted to remove something that Emery didn't seem to want anything to do with anymore. However, curiosity took over and Ceony found herself placing it on top of the bed, blowing the dust away. Her eyes widened slightly at the beautiful carving of a songbird that decorated the top of the wooden box. A simple lock was blocking her from the secrets that the box held, but it was no problem. A quick switch of her bond and a spell popped the lock off the box. Carefully removing the lock, Ceony lifted the lid.
Papers in Emery's penmanship were scattered about, but one photograph stood out from the mess of papers. Ceony lifted it slowly and the figures were easily recognizable.
Emery, Lira, and a child, who didn't appear to even be a few days old. Emery looked absolutely dashing in an outfit that did not sport his regular coat and Lira, despite having an atrocious personality, looked gorgeous. The child seemed to have her father's eyes and smile, but had her mother's facial features. She flipped the photograph over and she found herself smiling at the words, but it was bittersweet.
Emery and Lira Thane welcome their new daughter, Annabelle Thane.
Annabelle Thane. Ceony placed the photograph down to the side and picked up one of the letters, her fingers absentmindedly tracing over Emery's perfect script.
I cannot express how much love I could put into a single solitary human being who isn't Lira.
Ceony cringed at that, her eyebrow furrowing. She knew that before the whole Excision thing had corrupted Lira, Emery truly did love her, but she couldn't help but cringe. She pressed on.
Annabelle, the young girl Lira and I produced, she is more than I could ever ask for. Her likeness comes from Lira, but her eyes and smile are nobody's but mine. I can also see traces of my mother every time she looks back at me.
Lira insisted we had kept the child's birth a secret and it wasn't that hard to do in the first place. She had taken a nine month leave in secret, only her superior was aware of the situation. When she had given birth, it was secluded and her close co-worker delivered the baby. Gregory was the only witness to Annabelle's coming, besides myself.
Ceony frowned. Why bother keeping the birth a secret when this was something to clearly be excited about? Ceony supposed Emery didn't want to upset Lira or something of the sort.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited to be a father. Lira will be a great mother-
Ceony snorted at that. Lira, a mother? The line earned an eye roll from her.
-as she is a wonderful woman.
Emery was absolutely smitten with Lira at this stage. It only made sense, but Ceony felt a pang of jealousy resonate through her regardless. Not that she should be jealous, Emery was her husband now, but good God, reading this made her blood boil.
I hope we'll be able to show the child to everyone soon, as I will be boarding an apprentice now. It would be impossible to hide the child with another person in the house.
There are so many new things coming up for my life. I love everything about it.
Ceony sighed, placing the letter down and opening up another.
Annabelle is dead.
That changed the tone from the previous note. Goodness.
Criminal Affairs stepped in and won't tell me what happened to my baby girl. Told me it was a case of unspeakable proportions. But I don't even care, unspeakable proportions or not, I want to see her. I want to see my bubbly baby girl again. Please.
Ceony's smile faltered. The words held so much emotion.
I want to see her smile and laugh, her little hands trying to grab for my finger when I tickle her stomach.
Despite the happiness that she gave me, nobody knows about her existence still. I wish I had told someone, rather than listening to Lira. Alfred may be apart of Criminal Affairs, but he is not a high rank to know these things, it seems. Patrice wouldn't know, she teaches at Tagis Praff, kilometers away from the Criminal Affairs Headquarters. Nobody knows. Nobody can feel what I feel, but I will not drown myself to the bottom of a bottle. I'd rather just flake away rather than spend my life drinking. The only taste of wine I get is during the banquets. I'd like for it to stay that way.
Quite the morbid turn, unlike the previous letter. Ceony inhaled a sharp breath, eyes narrow. The penmanship was shaky at this point and the copper color seemed to be slightly faded, as if Emery was crying as he wrote all of this.
Thomas, my apprentice of halfway watches me fall apart. He was forced into the craft of Folding, like myself, and having a gloomy mentor will do no justice towards his learning. He won't appreciate Folding either, if I'm the one teaching it. I'm going to request to move him. It's all I can do to save him from this problem. He doesn't deserve to watch me crumble, turn into a man of self-hate and depression. But what can I do?
I'm losing everything I know.
My wife is unfaithful. I don't even believe in God, but it hurts, so much, to see her run off, ignoring our wedding vows and pretending I'm nothing to her. It's been several months since I've last seen her. She's not even here to help me through Annabelle's death. I'm pretty sure she's with Gregory, or Grath, as he has decided to name himself. She just disappeared, leaving me here.
A part of me, as much as it pains me to write it, thinks she was the one who killed Annabelle. She was the last person to touch our daughter. But why? The sinking feeling that I had sunk deep down may be right, but I have no proof towards my accusations.
The writing started to become illegible, but Ceony had seen worse, so she was able to read it just fine.
Please, God or whatever you may be, please, let my little girl go to heaven or whatever the good afterlife may be. Annabelle deserved so much more. She could have been a Folder too. Maybe a scholar?
She could be anything else but dead.
Ceony saw a tear stain appear onto the paper and she realized that she was crying. She placed the letter down and wiped her tears onto her arm. Ceony picked up another letter.
I never expected myself to divorce Lira. But I did. I signed what I needed. It felt like a relief to do so. I didn't feel as if I had anything anymore. I felt...calm. Broken as I was on the inside, I felt at peace with these broken pieces.
Good god, what have I become? What has my life become? I've been reduced to nothing. My wife is an Excisioner. My daughter is dead. I can't work anymore, not in this state.
I released Thomas from his apprenticeship to me. He will study under someone else now. He tried to fight it, but I explained that I just couldn't do it anymore. Patrice is the head of administrations now. She will make sure I do not take another apprentice. I can't. Not after this.
And yet you did, Ceony thought as she picked up one of the last few letters.
Ceony Twill is an interesting apprentice to be with. I didn't even think I'd be ready to take an apprentice. I also didn't expect myself to be writing anymore, not to this box, at least, but Ceony might see my notes. I won't take any chances.
She is diligent to learn, as I suspected. My fifteen thousand pounds did not go to waste, as she graduated Tagis Praff in a single solitary year, due to that stellar memory of hers. Not that I didn't doubt her, but of course, placing your bet on a feisty little waitress is a little difficult. Doesn't really matter in the end though. I have an abundance as it is, when I worked for Criminal Affairs and my monthly paycheck I received from mentoring the previous students. As a recluse, one doesn't need much.
Not anymore.
She noticed the newer looking ink that had come from the words she was now reading. It wasn't very new, but it was much more recent unlike the other letters. Three years early.
Ceony has explored my heart. I wonder if she saw Annabelle. But I doubt she would have, as I only had four months with Annabelle before...Lira had taken her away. Then again, she hasn't spoken to me about what she had seen. There are some things I don't want to hear again, but I wish she told me what I was like in my heart. Rather, I wish I had that luxury, to go into my own heart and see what lies. I wonder if Ceony thinks of me differently now. It was such a load of pain and jubilation to give to a single solitary apprentice.
How old would my sweet Annabelle be now? Four? Five? The only memories of her are in this box. I refuse to look through it, as I cannot mope around any longer. Ceony deserves a good man to teach her the craft.
Ceony could see the birth certificate that lay at the bottom. Annabelle would be at least six or seven now. The year was slightly smudged, but Annabelle's birthday was on the same day Ceony became a magician. The same day Emery proposed to her. What would he be doing if she was not becoming a magician?
She did notice on that day, as each year passed, his usual demeanor would be lackluster, as if it was missing something. Ceony always put it off as him being tired due to his selective insomnia, but it could be a lot more than that.
Two more letters were left. She picked up one of them.
I took down Saraj and in the process, Ceony took down Grath, as much as I tried to protect her, trouble only came to her doorstep. If she doesn't walk down the path of trouble, they go after her instead.
Meanwhile, I took myself down the road of love, a road Ceony was already on before I decided to follow. I promised myself I wouldn't. I didn't want to bring back these problems. But Ceony, she could beat Lira any day.
Calm, confident, quick witted, and absolutely beautiful, she's everything I could ever want or hope for in a woman. Her cooking only makes life so much better. She's already stuck herself into my heart. I think my heart is letting her stay, allowing her to fix the pieces that I could not piece back together on my own.
I've also found myself becoming so overprotective of her. During my nights of insomnia at the flat, I didn't realize how much I was worry I was placing over her until those moments. I even yelled at her, something I would usually never do.
Then I kissed her, something I really wouldn't do. Goodness, I actually kissed her. I don't know why my arms and legs moved on their own, but the next thing I felt was my mouth was on hers. Her soft lips that I had only thought about for a brief moment before, but now it's all I can think about. Sure, entertaining the thought of courting in my mind was fun, but I actually took that step forward.
Will I really continue down this path?
Ceony chuckled softly and picked up the last letter. It was recent, one year, it seemed.
To answer that question, yes, I did. I ran down that path, arms wide to embrace her. I hardly regret it, like the fact that I do not regret killing Saraj. That cheeky bugger escaped. Ceony, being the stubborn genius she is, hunted him down when she should have been studying for her magician's test. I did too. We're both stubborn geniuses, sadly. Perhaps that's why we work so well together.
What did I do to deserve her? Did God feel mercy over what had happened to Annabelle and gave me Ceony in return, after so long? God took several years before getting off his throne to help a man out. Whatever the case may be, I wonder if Ceony's interested in being a mother. I want to try again, but of course, I don't want to advance onto her unless she's absolutely ready. I know that she would be a great mum. I'm a child myself too, the more I think about it. If she can take care of me, she can take care of children.
I wonder what name Ceony might like. If we have a son, maybe we could name him Darren. Darren Thane. If we have a daughter, maybe Amelia Thane?
Ceony liked the idea of a Darren or Amelia. Though from the fortunity box, it appears they'll have two sons, but Amelia is such a nice name. Ceony smiled and pressed on.
Hell, why am I even thinking about this? I haven't even proposed. I don't even know if she'll say yes. Ceony is still at Prit's, studying hard. If I had the choice, I would test Ceony myself, but scandal would be a problem. Thanks to that, I'm stuck with a cold sandwich in my mouth as I write this last letter to this box. The sacrifices I have to make for this woman-
"Ceony?" Emery's voice rang through the room, stopping Ceony in her reading. She looked up slowly, prepared to find his eyes ablaze with anger.
But instead, they looked betrayed and slightly defeated. She shouldn't have done this, she realizes, staring at his emerald eyes.
"Emery." She acknowledged.
"So you know then." He weakly motioned to the box, "I knew I couldn't keep a secret for long. A stupid spot to keep it, I know. I should have expected you to clean there eventually." He leaned against the doorframe, sighing, but his eyes did not leave hers. They stayed in this uncomfortable silence until Ceony decided to finally speak.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I should have known-" Emery started but Ceony shook her head.
"No, I'm talking about something else."
"What are you sorry for then-"
"I didn't see her." She blurted out.
"Pardon?
"I didn't see Annabelle in your heart."
"Oh." He grimaced.
"I saw an outline of a family, though there was no defining shape that gave any facial features, so I had just assumed you just wanted a family." Ceony paused, shaking her head, "I mean, Annabelle seems really important to you, I thought...I'd see her at least."
"Well," He sighed, "It could be because I just..." She looked at him, her eyes showing a full load of sympathy and he sighed again. "It was too much for me, to lose her. Annabelle was the one thing to make my life complete. Then, Lira took her to be an Excisioner." He wrung his hands out absentmindedly, "Maybe my heart couldn't take it, or I blocked it out entirely. Or maybe...I just forced myself to forget."
"You can't just forget her she's-"
"I know, but she's dead now. There's nothing I can do, Ceony." He responded to her in monotone and she winced. It was as if he had lost all the life in him as he spoke those words. Ceony put the letters and photograph back, closing the box again. She knew she crossed a line.
"I'm going to make us dinner. Let's just...talk about it later, yeah? Yeah." Ceony got up, swiftly moving past Emery to avoid his gaze. He did not go after her, but instead walked towards the box. He had suspected a simple lock would be no problem to Ceony, considering her bond breaking days were hardly over. He ran a hand over the engraved songbird before opening the box and picking up the photograph. He touched Annabelle's face lovingly on the picture one last time before placing it back to where it was and closed the lid.
He needed to stop living in the past and focus on the present for once in his life. A new chapter was starting for him. Annabelle wouldn't have wanted him to be sad about her when things are going so well for him.
He placed the box back on the bed and walked towards the doorway. He glanced at the box once more, "I hope you're happy up there, Annabelle. Wherever you may be. I wish you were here with us." And he left it at that, walking out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him, as if he was shutting the past out.
I'm personally not proud of this, but I suppose it will suffice.