It's called innuendos. What do you expect? Alfred just won't shut his diddly darn mouth, you know?
"Is it just me, or do you also think Emery did her good?" Alfred said, noticing Ceony's difficulty in walking as Emery led her to her seat. Patrice furrowed her brow, her lips pursed as she mulled over Alfred's words. They were at a banquet for a fundraiser for the next school year at Tagis Praff, something that was annual and they were forced to attend.
Except this year, Emery brought Ceony along, as his plus one. Ceony did not have an apprentice and was a brand new magician, so she could not be invited to these affairs yet. Patrice could see all the eyes on Emery and Ceony, as the word of their engagement spread like wildfire.
Patrice wasn't wrong when she said that Ceony wouldn't be 'Miss Twill' by Christmas. People were congratulating them left and right, though she could see some people whispering about how wrong it was. But it was to be expected. Controversy often shifted around the banquet, every single year. But right now, the current concern was Alfred's ridiculous comment.
"That is hardly appropriate Alfred." Patrice said, frowning at Alfred's comment. They sat across from the couple, but they were too busy chattering about the banquet to each other to address Patrice or Alfred.
"I'm not wrong. She looks like she can't walk. You can't tell me I'm the only person that sees that." Mg. Hughes pointed out, "Do you think perhaps they had multiple rou-"
"ALFRED." Patrice hissed, clearly fed up with Alfred's comments. Alfred looked to her, clearly amused that he struck a nerve so quickly. "Please, stop. This is a civilized, public event. I don't need any of your comments ruining it. As much as I find your talk about their bed adventures slightly amusing, I don't need to talk about them when the two in question, are in front of us." She murmured, "Besides, Emery is a gentleman, if you couldn't tell. He wouldn't do anything like that, not yet."
"I'm only joking Patrice. Besides, you did say this amused you." Alfred said, raising his hands up in fake surrender. Patrice could clearly see the gears working in his head. He wasn't done. "Or would he? Would he chuck those silly gentlemanly rules he constantly speaks of his down the drain to-"
"We will not discuss this." Patrice responded, before he could continue. Alfred only chuckled.
"I mean, not trying to say anything but, as reclusive Folders are," Here it was, the worst of them all.
"Alfred." Patrice warned him. Alfred was already an unstoppable force. No matter how much Patrice would chastise her friend, he was already into it.
"I mean, come on. He had an Excisioner as his previous wife. Only something of a large size could truly tame her, right?" Alfred chuckled. Patrice truly wanted to respond back with something to stop him from walking on this thin ice, but she was mature, unlike Alfred. She would bite her tongue.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with you." She looked forward and found Emery's seat vacant. Ceony, on the other hand, was covering her mouth to avoid laughing out loud. Ceony noticed Patrice's eyes on her and quickly switched her position to look natural, but it was too late.
"Is something funny, Ceony?" Patrice asked, an eyebrow raising. Ceony pointed behind them, smirking.
"I don't know about you, but the comments about my ex-wife aren't really welcome." A light baritone said behind them. The two whipped their heads back, like a double act, and found Emery, his eyes dark. Ceony was trying to stifle her laughter. "Especially in front of my lovely fiancé." He glanced up towards Ceony, grinning. Ceony just continued to giggle, watching him make his two seniors tremble in fear.
"Oh, Emery, uh-" Alfred tried to reason himself out of this, but to no avail. He had been caught.
"Alfred, I don't think your humor is funny." Emery paused for a moment, then sighed, but he kept the amusement in his eyes so strong, "I'll have you know, Lira wasn't a very exciting bed partner, despite what you may think. She wouldn't even let me do anything remotely nice. Took all the control." Emery started to speak quieter, so Ceony couldn't hear, " Ceony, on the other hand-"
"Emery, I don't want to hear your love life, let alone your sexual escapades." Patrice cut in and Emery chuckled darkly.
"Before, that was all you used to address, Patrice." Emery countered, putting a hand on Alfred's shoulder, making him tense up even more. "Now, Alfred, your jokes aren't advised. Wouldn't want you to hear the consequences of bringing that vile woman back up as a topic, now would you?" Emery patted Alfred's shoulder once before striding back to Ceony, taking his seat.
"That man is a force to be reckoned with." Alfred said, taking a nice deep breath in, fiddling with his shirt collar. Emery nodded in approval to Alfred's...compliment.
"He's a Folder, Alfred." Patrice said, emphasizing her words, "He needs something stronger than paper to fend people off. He uses words. If you think he's terrifying, he can insult you without even having it feel like one."
"The worst of the worst." Ceony added. "Using the greatest weapon in his arsenal, injuring one's pride."
"Why thank you." Emery chuckled, his eyes twinkling with more amusement. Ceony laughed.
"You should try living with him!" Ceony proclaimed once she sobered up, "You'd think he's even worse then, if that's even remotely possible."
"Dear, I beg to differ. I am an amazing person to live with." The two started a friendly banter about it. Patrice smiled softly at the two, watching as Ceony and Emery bickered like an old couple.
"Is the Patrice Aviosky smiling?" Alfred asked, ceasing Ceony and Emery's argument in an instant. Patrice stiffened when all the eyes were on her, returning to her regular demeanor of strictness.
"No." Patrice murmured, "I did not."
"Oh my goodness, you were!" Ceony smiled. Patrice scowled back, eyes narrow.
"And I thought I'd never see the day Patrice Aviosky smile, let alone allow her shoulders to relax." Emery chuckled, "Are we just that interesting?" Patrice rolled her eyes, but then she started to laugh, despite trying to hide it, and so, they all joined in with her.
Life was great.
Still can't wrap up stories at all.