Although Lilyspark was able to forgive Rosetail for unintentionally causing rumors to be spread about her, she wasn't too keen on showing any mercy to the rest of the gossipers. While she could believe that Rosetail hadn't realized what the consequences of her actions would be, they absolutely had. They had intended to hurt her, or if they hadn't, they certainly hadn't cared if they did so long as they could entertain themselves. There were some things that were beyond forgiveness, and this was one of them.

Needless to say, when she was immediately hounded by her Clanmates upon returning to the camp, Lilyspark didn't exactly give them the friendliest greeting in the world.

"Yes, yes, I'm back. Why don't you go back to your sad, pathetic lives and leave me alone?" she snarled.

"Lilyspark, we–" Goldenflower began, but she cut her off.

"Shut up! How dare you speak to me? You have no right after what you did!" Lilyspark hissed, baring her teeth at the older warrior. "It's a shame you aren't more like Lionheart. At least he's a noble warrior. Just back off if you know what's good for you, Goldenflower."

Goldenflower's face fell as she stepped back and padded away. Lilyspark tried to care but found that she didn't.

"We weren't trying to upset you, honest," Dappletail meowed. Lilyspark narrowed her eyes at her. She hadn't forgotten that it was Dappletail who spread the conversation around the camp.

"That's a load of fox dung and you know it," she snapped, lashing her tail.

"Enough!" Bluefur broke in. "All of you, leave now! She doesn't want to talk to you. What's so hard to understand about that? Or are you all just completely incapable of ever showing any consideration for her feelings?"

Lilyspark snorted. "They can't help it, it's a habit by now."

"But–" Speckletail protested.

Bluefur glared at her. "Go!"

Slowly, the surrounding warriors turned and walked away, pausing every so often to shoot guilty looks at Lilyspark and Bluefur. Instead of responding, Lilyspark turned to her sister and brushed her nose gently over her ear. She knew that she had been unfair, but the wounds were still too raw, too painful. It wasn't just the fact that they were accusing her of making a move on Thistleclaw and dishonoring Snowfur's memory that bothered her, it was the fact that they were trying to lie now and claim that they didn't think it would bother her. If they had apologized and owned up to their actions, she might have been more willing to listen to them. As it was, it looked as though she couldn't trust any of her Clanmates except for her family, Rosetail, Poppydawn, Thrushpelt, and Lionheart.

Almost instinctively, Lilyspark glanced over toward Goldenflower, who appeared to be pleading her case with Lionheart. She felt a prickle of satisfaction when the golden-furred tom shook his head and padded away, leaving her standing there alone. Logically speaking, she knew that she should feel guilty over driving a rift between the two littermates, but she couldn't find it in her heart to do so. If Goldenflower was so upset over losing her brother's friendship, perhaps next time she would think before spreading rumors about other cats.

"Come on, let's get something to eat," Bluefur meowed, nudging her over to the fresh-kill pile.

"Sure, okay," Lilyspark agreed, suddenly feeling much more cheerful. It had been a while since she shared a meal with her sister.

Together, the two sisters padded over to the fresh-kill pile and selected one mouse each. After selecting her meal, Lilyspark glanced around the camp for a place to eat that wasn't occupied by any of her Clanmates. To her relief, she spotted Lionheart sitting underneath the clump of nettles, a half-eaten squirrel at his paws. He glanced up as they walked over to join him, purring and flicking his tail in greeting.

"Hello, Lilyspark, Bluefur," he meowed.

"Hi, Lionheart," Lilyspark meowed cheerfully. Bluefur just nodded at him.

"Are you alright?" Lionheart asked, looking at her in concern.

Lilyspark flicked her tail. "Better than I was," she meowed honestly. "I just wish I didn't have to share a den with all of...them."

"I understand that," her friend meowed sympathetically. "If it makes you feel any better, I never believed a word they were saying about you. I know you're a better cat than that."

"I know, Lionheart," Lilyspark murmured. She shook her head and added, "I just wish everyone else knew how to use their brains too. Especially Goldenflower. I thought she was one of my best friends, but I guess I was wrong. And unlike Rosetail, I know she meant everything."

"I know," Lionheart agreed, glancing down at his paws. "She's not a bad cat, really. I guess she just...I don't know, really."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry that you two are quarreling over this," Lilyspark added. She didn't feel sorry for Goldenflower, but Lionheart was her friend and she didn't like to see him upset with his sister.

The golden tom shook his head. "Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry about. She's the one that needs to apologize."

"Is she even sorry for what she did?" Bluefur asked, pushing aside the remains of her mouse.

"That's hard to say," Lionheart replied, frowning. "I think she is sorry, but I don't know if it's because she feels bad for hurting Lilyspark or because Lilyspark is still–rightfully, I might add–angry with her. Something tells me that she expected Lilyspark to forgive her instantly, and the fact that she didn't was a bit of a harsh wake-up call."

Lilyspark snorted. "If she expected me to forgive her instantly, then obviously she wasn't really my friend in the first place because she would know that's not how it works with me."

Even as the words left her mouth, she knew it wasn't something to be proud of. Holding a grudge wasn't healthy for anyone, and she knew that as well as the next cat. Being angry all the time wasn't as satisfying as one might think. Try as she might, however, Lilyspark couldn't find it in herself to forgive her Clanmates. She was sure that she would get over it eventually, but right now, she was apparently incapable of doing so.

Not that I can blame it entirely on them, she realized. After all, I'm the one who let Thistleclaw stalk and harass me. If I hadn't let him make those advancements, the rumors probably wouldn't have happened in the first place. Or if they had, most of the Clan wouldn't have believed them. It's my own fault for not protecting myself.

The only cat she felt genuine remorse over hurting was Rosetail. She knew that she had been wrong in telling her that she should have died instead of Sweetpaw, and she also knew that her apology had come off as insincere and callous. It hadn't been her intention, of course; she had just been too overwhelmed by her emotions to properly articulate herself. And if she was being honest, there was still a part of her that had been upset with her Clanmate. Rosetail might not have intended for anything to come of her conversation with Dappletail, but the fact remained that she still bore at least some of the responsibility.

Still, though, it was surprising that Rosetail had been able to forgive her so quickly.

Maybe I should apologize to her again, she mused to herself.

Glancing around the camp, Lilyspark felt a pang of guilt as she spotted Rosetail sitting by herself, eating a small thrush. She knew it wasn't entirely her fault that the gray tabby was sitting by herself, but she also knew that the reason Rosetail hadn't asked to join them was because of her. Meowing a quick farewell to Bluefur and Lionheart, Lilyspark got to her paws and walked over to where Rosetail was sitting. The older molly glanced up at her, clearly startled to see her standing there.

"Lilyspark?" Rosetail meowed. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine, absolutely fine," Lilyspark reassured her. "I just wanted to say...I really am sorry for everything I said to you, especially about how I wished that you had died instead of Sweetpaw. That was wrong of me...I shouldn't have brought her up like that and I definitely don't wish you were dead. I was just so angry about everything, and I guess I didn't handle Snowfur's death as well as I thought so that just made things worse–but that's no excuse, I know that."

"It's okay, Lilyspark," Rosetail meowed gently, placing her tail on her shoulder. "You aren't the only one in the wrong here. I hurt you too."

"Unintentionally," Lilyspark pointed out. "Seems kind of pointless for you to be sorry, really. If I had just let you explain everything the first time, we might have avoided this."

"Maybe," her friend acknowledged. "But as I told you before, I don't blame you. I would have done the same thing if I were in your place."

Lilyspark laughed and shook her head. "No, you wouldn't, but that's because you're a nicer cat than I am."

"I do appreciate the apology, though," Rosetail added.

"Yeah," Lilyspark murmured, twitching her ear. "So...do you want to join us? You look a little lonely here by yourself."

"Sure, okay," Rosetail agreed, her eyes lighting up.

Lilyspark nodded, and Rosetail got to her paws, picking up her thrush. She followed her friend as she bounded over to where Lionheart and Bluefur were still waiting, engrossed in conversation. Apologizing to Rosetail–sincerely this time–felt good, and Lilyspark felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Of course, there was still a long way to go before she was able to let go of everything that had happened, but she had taken a step today and that had to count for something. For the first time, she began to feel a spark of hope that one day, she would be able to make peace with herself.