My kingdom for a single review from any of you! But happy reading anyway ;) - Pace is the trick
Chapter 15
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures have all been washed in black.
- Black, Pearl Jam
Despite supplications from Aro, Edward spent the next several weeks in bed, refusing to acknowledge anyone around him.
His longing for Carlisle was more than mere loneliness. He felt as if his very soul had been ripped from him, leaving a gaping hole in his chest that threatened to devour his entire being; the empty, incessant ache that gnawed away at him left nothing but a shell, a ghost of his former self, in its wake.
He no longer cared what happened to him. No amount of physical or mental torture could equate with the devastation of losing his better half and the utter desolation of life without Carlisle.
His entire reason for being, the substance and beauty of his life, was gone and he no longer had any desire to live.
Aro was all empathy. "I see how sad you are!" He crooned to his charge, laying his hands on him. "I wish I could take all of your pain away."
Edward didn't even open his eyes.
But by the second month, he was so weak from thirst and so completely despondent that he no longer had the strength to resist and passively allowed himself to be fed and comforted. (Aro had been thoughtful enough to bring several deer into the castle to encourage him to rally, despite the look of consternation on the others' faces as the animals wrought havoc with the exquisite – irreplaceable! –furnishings in their panicked stampede.)
"I want you to know that I am doing everything in my power to find your Carlisle. Really, Edward, you mustn't give up hope! Even those members of our Guard under my brothers are being interrogated. The important thing is that you stay strong and here in my protection. That way when we do find him, he will have nothing to reproach me for!"
"Can you find him?" Edward wouldn't even dare to hope.
"We can and we will!" said Aro with such conviction that Edward felt a little bit better in spite of himself.
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They stood on the other side of the mirror watching the boy listlessly leaf through one of Carlisle's books.
Marcus shook his head. "I don't know that you will ever be successful. I have never seen a stronger bond between any two individuals. It isn't so much that he is like Carlisle as that they are somehow connected. I can't understand it.
"I sense that he is getting weaker, not better. His mind continues to diminish in power, which makes all of this rather pointless, does it not? Why make the effort if he will never be capable of what you ask of him?
"Perhaps it would be best to consider your second strategy now." Marcus added, but he already knew Aro's answer.
"I am not concerned at present about his mental state. He has overcome much once already in a remarkably short period. I would argue that he was actually stronger afterward than before. And you are forgetting that time changes all." Aro said softly. "And time, my dear Marcus, is something we have in abundance."
"And what of your other problem?" Marcus asked.
"Oh, I shall deal with that in due course. We may need him yet down the road."
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Carlisle spent the first several weeks simply trying not to break down under the emotional strain of losing Edward. The darkness was bearable, the silence was tolerable, the thirst could be sublimated; having no idea where or in what condition Edward was nearly drove him mad. He would fall on his hands and knees and beg if someone would simply show him the kindness of telling him something of the boy's welfare.
It was in this frame of mind that he jumped to his feet when he heard Caius again approach. He would not only be cordial, he would be deferential. Whatever it took to get the information he needed, the hope requisite for his very survival.
"Still with us, I see?" Caius leaned against the door. "Not that you have anywhere else to be." He chuckled softly to himself. "And how does our... guest find his accommodations?"
"Thank you, I am well, Caius." He had been practicing his best manners for days in anticipation of a visit.
"Really?" The man's face fell a bit, but he looked as if he didn't believe it. "Oh,and here I was coming to see if I might do something for you…" He trailed off suggestively, watching closely out of the corner of his eye.
Carlisle politely waited for him to continue.
"Well," Caius gave up, pushing himself away from the door to leave. "It appears we now have deer running about everywhere, thanks to your charming brat. I am having some sent down to you. Lessens the damage to our chambers..."
"Edward - " Carlisle said breathlessly, hastening to get the question out, but the other vampire was already long gone.
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Aro finally convinced Edward to leave his room, which the frantic animals had left in such a state of disarray, the castle staff were forced to assemble repair workers in addition to the cleaning crew.
"Come! The night is clear and beautiful and you have not yet seen the moonlight on the water - we are so very close to the sea! Come for a walk with me." He held out his hand to Edward, who obediently took it and followed him out of the castle like a child.
Aro could run, he was simply not accustomed to it; his prey was brought to him so as to not require him to leave the castle. However, he told Edward, he would make the effort just this once especially for his new friend! Edward might have been pleased if he hadn't been so thoroughly despondent.
In fact, what was lost on Edward but very apparent to everyone else at court was that Aro practically fell all over himself in an effort to please the boy. There was no creature comfort his ward lacked. To entice him to feed better, diverse animals were brought in from far and wide to see if they might be more appealing. He had only to give an item more than a casual glance for it to be immediately offered to him.
None of this mattered to Edward who was too consumed with his own grief to notice anything.
"Aro, why can't I hear anyone's thoughts anymore?" He hadn't been aware of it the first few months, he had been so preoccupied thinking about Carlisle, but now, without its extra sense, he felt as though his mind had been dislocated.
"You have been through a very great trauma and your mind has been damaged. I think perhaps a part of your brain has shut down, to protect you." He smiled encouragingly at the boy. "It will recover and you will be just fine.
"It happens to me, too!" He confessed in a whisper, as if it were their little secret.
Edward was comforted by that. "It feels... strange! I feel off balance. As if I'm ill or something. Light headed." He laughed a little.
"Yes, but I am willing to bet you felt strange, and probably a bit ill as well, when you first discovered you could hear others, am I right?" The wise, elderly vampire smiled knowingly at him.
"You're right, of course. But so much was happening then. When I woke up, everything was happening all at once, and I didn't understand anything. I didn't know where I was or what I had become. But Carlisle was there and he helped me..." His voice broke, feeling the pain of Carlisle's absence more keenly in his altered state.
"Do not despair, young Edward!" Aro placed an arm around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. "We will find him. Sooner than you think."
The boy nodded, still sobbing, and pressed further into the comforting warmth of the other.
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One week to the day after Caius' last visit (Carlisle kept meticulous track of the hours with his faithful watch), the Voltur returned once again in person, this time bearing a book and an oil lamp. They repeated the charade of pleasantries.
"Thank you," Carlisle felt humble now as well as confused. He was very grateful for the items that would make his time interred more bearable.
And so guard and prisoner again parted company.
Three days later, Caius was back.
This time he said nothing. He stared pointedly at the captive for a long pause before turning and gesturing. "Come," he commanded.
Carlisle followed him through the door.
He led him to another cell in the ward. It was larger, well lit, and Carlisle was surprised to find it furnished with a comfortable chair, several of his books, and a writing table.
"I don't understand - " he began, genuinely at a loss for words.
"I thought you might be more comfortable here," Caius' nonchalance was in striking contrast to the offering.
Carlisle was now so baffled by the other man's behavior he had to ask, "Why are you doing this for me?"
Caius offered him a wry smile, but left the room without commenting.
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Aro began to draw Edward back into the life of the court, arranging for another - less grand - chair to be brought for him and placed alongside his own.
The fact that Edward now sat in front of both Marcus and Caius did not pass unnoticed.
Sulpicia protested vehemently, and unfortunately was overheard by many as she neither took pains to lower her voice nor did she try to meet discreetly with her husband away from the others.
"So now Edward is your second in command?"
"Do not be ridiculous! The boy is but a child. I am simply trying to encourage him to take an interest in things. Would you prefer he spent all of his time in bed as he was doing so recently? It is extremely important that Edward feel welcome and safe in our presence. The boy is having a very difficult time and certain individuals" - he glowered at Jane - "have not helped the matter any."
His wife walked away in a huff.
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Caius paid Carlisle another visit the following week, surprising him by sitting down in one of the chairs and casually picking up a book to thumb through.
Carlisle waited quietly for him to speak.
After what seemed like hours of strained silence (it was only minutes, Carlisle reminded himself), Caius placed the book back down. "Do you play chess?"
Carlisle nodded, completely at a loss for words.
"It's my favorite game." Caius explained for no apparent reason. "We could play if you like?"
Carlisle nodded.
The nobleman was delighted. "But I warn you, I always win!" He looked supremely confident. "Oh, and I am having another deer sent down."
He left as abruptly as he had arrived.
Carlisle sat back in his chair, bewildered.
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"It has come to my attention that the only person Aro seems to confide in these days is - Edward!" Caius looked a little smug.
Jane's wrath was obvious and the smarter members of the Guard backed away from her. She was smoldering and the walls around her shook a little.
"You don't look happy." Caius chuckled at her, "With our new heir apparent!"
"Caius, please." Alec found nothing humorous about the situation. He, too, was watching Aro and Edward, and his eyes were somber.
"I was merely commenting on the fickle fancies of our kind." Caius said innocently, and whistled a little tune as he walked away.
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Carlisle did enjoy chess. He actually hadn't played but a few times, and Caius was, as he had claimed, very skilled, and it took a great deal of concentration to keep up with him.
He trounced Carlisle, but both men were quite happy for having passed the afternoon so pleasantly.
"Thank you, Caius!" he said, and he meant it this time.
"Until tomorrow, then." Caius gathered up his board and pieces that he had had for centuries. "Was there anything else you needed?"
"Clothes?" Carlisle ventured timidly, knowing what an unusual request it was.
The man nodded. "I'll send a pitcher of water for you to bathe as well."
After the door closed and he was alone again, Carlisle sat down with his back against the wall. "Well, I'll be damned," he exhaled.
He was beginning to understand.
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As a convenience to the elders, and in an attempt to hide their true nature from the local population, the Volturi had their prey brought into the castle. The innocents were first gathered on an informal basis as walking tourists by guides strategically positioned around the city train stops. They were then led through the underground passageways rather than the front entrance to the museum on the street. This strategy had been devised to prevent the city dwellers witnessing any group entering, but never exiting, the grounds. The subterfuge worked well enough for the outsiders, who would not have questioned the city's most powerful family anyway. But inevitably, at some point in the transport, the quarry would realize that something was terribly wrong, and, in spite of the Guards' attempts to dispel fears with patent falsehoods, panic would ensue, resulting in a brief chase in which the winner was clearly established before it had even begun.
The large numbers brought in - often forty persons or more - meant that those who were not killed instantly were left to watch the slaughter, creating even greater pandemonium and panic. The nature of the event also meant that the vampires were never quite sure where exactly they would be feeding as once the chaos started the guards had to work quickly to contain the crowd. As a result, any of the number of passageways might turn into feeding grounds and it often took the others minutes to arrive. They would run helter-skelter through the castle at tremendous speed to the locale - to get the best pickings as well as to silence the victims.
When they heard the first cries, Alec raced with the others. In his frenzied state, he inadvertently dropped his attention to Edward, who, three floors above him, fell out of the chair, clutching his head and howling in pain. A million sounds hit him at once and he could see the terrified people in the room through the eyes of their killers.
Thus it was that Edward Cullen, previously uninitiated in the feeding practices of his own kind, witnessed a mass murder of human beings.
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Carlisle heard their screams. He hadn't had to endure that in 120 years...
He wished he could die. He sat in his chair, clenching his fists, eyes sealed shut.
And then he bowed his head in prayer to beg for the speedy death of those in the hallway.
When Caius came to visit him later, he refused to even look at him, he was still livid with rage.
"Really, Carlisle, I don't know what to say. You are asking me to apologize for who and what I am. I'm sorry you had to hear it, but, well, this is what vampires do."
Carlisle was pointedly sitting on the ground against the wall, his arms hugging his chest, his face turned away.
Caius left frustrated and angrily dealt him one last blow before he parted.
"Oh, and I didn't get the chance to see how Edward fared there. Shall I ask?"
Carlisle shoved his fist in his mouth to stifle his uncontrollable howling.
Dear God! Had Edward been there?
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"Edward! Forgive me! I am so sorry! I did not mean for you to see any of this!" Aro had raced back to Edward's room as soon as he heard and was frantically trying to appease the distraught boy.
"NO!" Edward screamed, hurtling furniture at him. "Stay away from me!" He was like a wild animal, scaling the walls, snapping and snarling, and breaking everything in sight.
"Edward, please!" Aro dodged another table hurtled in his direction, while the other onlookers clutched one another.
Then, the boy was on the floor, clawing at himself, gouging his eyes and pulling his hair out.
"Dear God," murmured Chelsea, quite as terrified of the boy as of the scene.
"Get the guards!" Aro snapped. "Quickly!"
But she was already down the hall shouting for them.
"Run!" Aro screamed after her.
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Carlisle spent the next several weeks reading his Bible whenever Caius was present and refusing to play chess.
The latter, furious to realize his victim had the upper hand, expressed his displeasure in no uncertain terms, threatening to take away all that he had given him.
Undaunted, Carlisle continued to ignore him.
After several attempts, Caius played his last card. "I can give you access to Edward."
Carlisle gasped and quickly looked up at him.
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Edward was equally traumatized by the feeding and being restrained by the guards, which dredged up memories of another experience.
("I had no choice, Edward," Aro pleaded with him, "You were harming yourself. It was the only thing we could do to protect you.")
He sat uncomfortably now beside Aro, and no longer acted the same towards his mentor. It was abundantly clear the man had lost the boy's trust, much to the sheer delight of the others.
"How could you do such a thing?" Edward demanded accusingly. He felt betrayed. "You murdered those poor people!"
"Edward," Aro said gently. "It is not murder. We are what we are; they are our food source, nothing more."
"You can find other sources of food." He was outraged.
"Do you not also take the life of the deer?"
"But that isn't a human life!"
"But to the deer it is the same thing. I assure you they are just as terrified when you come to hunt, though the sounds they make are different. And when the snake attacks the mouse, or the wolf the lamb, it is all the same, Edward. We are part of a greater whole, each feeding on another species to survive. You are appalled by what you saw because you employ human morality. But if you look at it from the proper point of view, you will see it is all in the natural course of things."
"We were once human."
"But we are not human now and neither will we ever be again, Edward! You must accept what has happened to you and learn to live as you should, as is only natural. The more you fight your true nature, the harder your life will be. We cannot be anything other than what we are."
But Edward turned a deaf ear to him.
He went back to sitting in his room, reading Carlisle's books, and refused to come to court.