Chapter 19: A Kindness
Jarek wasn't sure how he was ever going to repay Karst. The man's generosity was matched only by his surliness. Instead of returning to the Embrace, Karst traded every kilo of his merchandise to book them passage off Kalevala. Jarek needed proper medical attention and unfortunately, there wasn't a place on the planet he could go without attracting the Death Watch.
"Never thought my first trip off-world I'd have to be smuggled," he groaned conscious of how little effect the cheap pain meds were having. Karst told him to try looking at it as 'traveling by limited means.' Jarek couldn't understand how the man could look so comfortable stretched out in the cramped cargo-hold.
Despite all his haggling and bartering Karst only managed to get them to a system just outside of Mandalorian Space. It wasn't far by galactic standards, but it was better than nothing. The backwater scug-hole they were deposited on lacked any spaceport or significant population center. The perfect place to disappear. They stumbled upon a medical center that would treat Jarek's injuries without asking too many questions. Or so they thought. The attending nurse turned out to be the chatty sort.
"You two must be new to space travel," she said applying a fresh layer of medical gel to Jarek's wounds. "Most spacers know to avoid plasma exhausts during maintenance." Her tone was warm but teasing.
Karst shrugged offering up a dopey grin. "Hehe…yeah."
As embarrassing as it was, feigning incompetence was the best cover they could come up with to explain away Jarek's injuries. Lying on a bed of nutria-paste, Jarek was unable to avoid the conversation both literally and figuratively. It didn't help that aside from her gentle touch she was disarmingly sweet.
Jarek did his best not to flinch beneath the woman's lingering fingers. Coupled with the numbing effect of the medi-gel his brain was having a hard time forming coherent thoughts. He wasn't exactly sure how to proceed. After all, she was the first non-mando he'd ever interacted with, and only the second female approximate to his age. Her easy smile and golden eyes were off-putting, to say the least. It didn't help that there was no hiding the flush she brought to his skin.
After helping Jarek sit up she began applying fresh bandages with quick professional grace. "So, where are you traveling from?" she asked. Unlike her fingers, her eyes barely lingered on the scars crisscrossing his body. At least some small mercies exist.
"Err…yes, we're travelers." Jarek wasn't sure if it was her touch or the medicine that was making his skin tingle, but either was horribly distracting.
She barely paused in her task to look questionably up at him. "Do you have names?" There was that teasing tone again.
"Names?" Jarek's stomach flipped as his jaw clenched uncomfortably. He stared imploringly at Karst, but the old man remained silent. He looked amused if anything. "Of course, we have names. I'm J-" He caught himself clearing his throat to buy time. "J…Jaeger." Karst rolled his eyes but gave him a thumbs-up. "And…this is my uncle…Kodo." Scowling Karst immediately upturned the gesture. Jarek gave him a hard 'you do better' glare.
As the nurse turned away from Jarek to deposit her remaining supplies, Karst hastily dropped his arm. Smiling pleasantly, he added, "Yes, my nephew is named after my brother, so we just call him Junior." Jarek made a strangling sound but managed to look nonchalant when the woman returned. At this rate, it would be a miracle if they lasted a fortnight on the run.
The nurse wiped her hands as she examined her work. Satisfied she smiled at the pair. "Jaegar and Kodo, huh? I'm Sona. You two look like you could use a good meal." As if to emphasize her point Karst's stomach gave a rude growl. Jarek rolled his eyes while Sona giggled. "Why don't you come to my mother's Inn for dinner."
The offer had been made to them both, but Sona was looking at Jarek for a response.
Jarek would be lying if he didn't find it tempting. Warm food and a proper bed would do his tired body wonders. They hadn't eaten much since leaving Kalevala and that being rations. But as good as a home-cooked meal sounded, Jarek still didn't have much of an appetite. He also didn't know what to make of the girl's attentions. Trust would be a precious commodity and she was s stranger to them. A disconcertingly trusting stranger at that. There was also no telling if or when Death Watch would pick up their trail. "Sorry," he sighed, "but we need to be moving on."
"That's too bad," the nurse sighed putting away the last of the medi-gel. "My mother always makes too much roast nerf," adding in a slightly louder tone than was necessary.
Karst paused in the middle of counting out the payment. "Where do you live exactly?"
It had taken some doing, but they'd managed to cram three sentients plus baggage into Sona's cheap two-seater speeder. Several minutes later, and much to Jarek's frustration they arrived at the Inn Sona's mother ran. The Inn was small and was, in fact, the women's dwelling with a few spare rooms they rented out as a second source of income.
Upon arriving at the Inn, the men's senses were assailed by the aroma of well-cooked, seasoned meat. Despite his lagging hunger, Jarek's stomach rumbled at the smells. Sona's mother was a weathered woman of middling years, but her smile was as gentle as her daughters and just as welcoming. Food was served as soon as Sona returned from parking the family's decrepit speeder. "My daughter tells me your refugees," she said as they took seats around a modest table, "We were once refugees ourselves." She spoke out of empathy. Jarek's jaw tightens at yet another lie they'd concocted to conceal their identities.
In the wake of both the CIS and Republic collapse, countless sentients began migrating from their war-torn worlds. Separatist sympathizers found themselves fleeing from the new Empire while Loyalists hid from Imperial opposition. And in between countless normal beings simply sought a sense of peace and normalcy. It was honestly the perfect cover and in a sense Jarek and Karst were refugees.
"Indeed," Karst responded taking the offered meal with a gracious nod, "Unfortunately in our haste Junior suffered his accident." Not knowing how to respond Jarek remained silent, instead focusing on his food. He had to admit the roast Nerf was delicious, but it quickly turned to ash in his mouth. Would his new life be nothing more than a series of lies?
"When I was little," Sona explained in a weighty tone, "The Separatists raided our settlement." Jarek looked over at the girl and felt his heart grow heavy. "They took all the men to work in their factories." Sad eyes stared through the table at bitter memories. "It was the last time I saw my father and brother."
Returning his gaze to the food, the young man glimpsed memories of a dwelling in a valley, where dwelt a lonely old warrior. "It feels like a lifetime since I saw my father," he sighed. By now Myler would've heard what had transpired. Would he feel disgrace? Would you feel anything father?
"Oh," Sona looked at him sympathetically, "did the war take him from you?"
Heat prickled Jarek's eyes as he stood and abruptly left the room. Jarek heard Karst apologize for his departure. "The boy has lost much," he offered by way of explanation, "And I'm afraid his accident hasn't helped matters." At least that much was true. Sona and her mother accepted the excuse graciously before offering Karst a second helping. The older man accepted it eagerly.
Not since fleeing Kalevala had Jarek taken the time to process his life. Whenever he did, the memories of his action churned his gut and icy fingers gripped at his throat. As the anger boiled in his chest he couldn't tell if he wanted to scream or cry. How does one come to terms with losing everything?
Unable to cope Jarek sat on the patio allowing the waning light of the sun to warm his face. It was such a familiar sensation; it was hard to believe it wasn't the same sun that Kalevala orbited. He was finally away from all he knew, and he could never go back…never to see his home, or Myler again.
Where do I go from here? Where do you start when all you knew was a lie? The silence of dusk was all the answer he got.
Jarek was still sitting outside when the meal ended, and the dishes cleared. He knew he should help, but lethargy stayed his legs. His mind was as numb as the rest of his healing body. He barely noticed the night's descent and stars gentle illumination. During the day, the settlement had been abuzz with activity, but once the sun set a stillness draped itself across the land. Not even the windfarm generators could drown out the natural hum of the evening.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jarek saw a door open and Sona exit. "Can I join you?" Jarek must've nodded because the young woman came and sat next to him. She'd changed into a nightgown that complimented her soft features. Jarek would even call her pretty, but every time he looked at her, Jilo's face appeared before his eyes, and guilt tore at him.
"I know why you seek solitude," she said in a tone as gentle as the breeze. Jarek stiffened at her presumption but said nothing. Though her assumption gulled him, Jarek could not fault her. That did little to soothe his anguish.
Taking his brooding silence as consent Sona continued, "Loss…we've all been through it." Heart aching Jarek couldn't bring himself to look the girl in the eye. The pity was misplaced. He didn't deserve any. Not after what he'd done. To his father…to Jilo…
Sona slid a bit closer. "It leaves scars," she whispered. Jarek's skin tingled as Golden eyes finally traced the wounds through his clothing. As her hand crept toward him, he sensed her spirit reaching out for his. It was as if her own grieving heart yearned for a kindred spirit.
Jarek, still unable to meet her gaze…gently pushed the hand away. Sona paused looking at him with those soft considering eyes. Sighing she reached for the hem of her nightgown. Dumbfounded Jarek could only blink at her actions. Lifting the edge of her nightwear Sona revealed her long pale legs, toned by many hours of standing in the clinic. A familiar star-shaped patch of white skin revealed itself on her thigh. Their eyes met and shame filled Jarek once more. It was nearly identical to the fresh ones adorning his body.
"We all have our scars," she said, starlight illuminating her knowing expression. The young man…had no words. She'd known the truth the entire time and said nothing.
This time Jarek didn't resist as she took his hand. The warmth of his cheeks was matched only by the heat of her lips. Tender flesh met numb skin as two shadows became one. They spoke not of tomorrow or the pain of yesterday. That night was about solace in shared pain. A grieving heart searching for comfort within a lost soul.
"Thank you for the meal," Karst said as he and Jarek stood outside the Inn. The dawn mist wrapped around them like a cool sheet. "It was most delicious."
"Your welcome," Sona's mother commented with an earnest smile. "It brings me joy to see someone eat my cooking with such…enthusiasm."
"Heh," Karst rubbed his full belly, "much practice."
Sona and her mother smiled pleasantly but Jarek couldn't bring himself to look the girl in the eye. As they'd held each other the night before she'd said nothing of the future. She knew his path lead elsewhere but that didn't stop her spirit from yearning his. Some part of him wanted to reciprocate, to forget his woes, but neither his mind nor his body could compromise with the lingering taint in his heart. The touch of her lips was still fresh in his mind and the sense of betrayal that came with it.
Jilo…have I shamed your memory? Did he have any right to happiness? What he knew was that he was little more than a broken heart lost in a sea of sorrow. No one deserved to deal with that pain more than he.
Hefting his bag Jarek began to walk away. "Junior," Karst called out, "where are your manners? You need to thank these nice people."
It took Jarek a moment to remember Karst was speaking to him. Pausing he turned and bowed respectfully. "Thank you."
As he veered to leave Sona stepped forward. "I know you feel the times are bad," though her words landed on his back, he heard them fine. "But please have hope." She added with heartbreaking sincerity, "It will get better." Jarek closed his eyes against the rush of bitter disgrace. Taking a deep breath, he continued forward.
Karst murmured an apology along with his gratitude. When he drew up level with Jarek the expected reprimand was met by silence. The only other sound was the hiss and click of the front door closing behind the two women. After glancing back to make sure the windows were clear of prying eyes, Jarek made an abrupt turn causing Karst to stumble. Confusion filled the man's face as he watched Jarek march to the garage next to the Inn. His puzzlement was replaced by shock as Jarek guided the two-person speeder out into the open. Without hesitation, Jarek mounted the vehicle and starts figuring out the controls.
"What are you doing!?" Karst demanded in as low a tone as his outrage would allow. The young man ignored the mando as much as his own pain and secured their gear. "These people just showed us great kindness-"
"Of which I'm grateful," he snapped pushing the speeder further up the laneway. He gestured back into the garage to reveal what remained of their credits sitting on the ground. The pittance wouldn't be enough even for a down payment on a new vehicle, but it was better than nothing.
While on the run there was no room or time for consideration. They needed to survive and to do so they had to do what was necessary.
Looking at the former merchant Jarek arched an eyebrow in question. Karst's disapproving expression lingered even as he climbed in next to the youth. He may not have liked it, but the man was pragmatic if nothing else.
As the speeder disappeared into the twilight a pair of disappointed eyes followed it from a dark window. A sigh was lost amidst the tender morning breeze. "I hope you find what you've lost Jaegar."