2010 Author's Note: And now we reach the end (there will be an Epilogue as I was so sad to see it end, I decided I had to project into the future to lay plans for that story). You have been a GREAT readership and I have thoroughly enjoyed the correspondence with each of you. It isn't everyone who gets such a passionate audience and I appreciate your comments! Know that I actually did change the storyline because of your input (originally, Edward died in Volterra. But Carlisle supporters worried so much about him, I couldn't bring myself to add to his suffering. So I gave him Edward for eternity. He thanks you, by the way.).

I have started the Prequel (Changing: A Love Story, also on fanfic). I put out the first chapter a few days ago to make myself feel better about ending AFTS.

I have one last thing to say:

Happy Reading! ~ Pace is the trick

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not lack.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of justice for his name's sake.

Though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.

~ Tehillim, 23, 1:4

Chapter 26

Edward was lying on a lounge chair on deck, sporting sunglasses and fully clothed, including his thick peacoat. Carlisle, catching sight of him as he came up the steps, couldn't help but laugh.

If you're trying to sunbathe, I regret to inform you that it is overcast today. As one would expect in the middle of November…

"I know," he said so quietly a person sitting next to him would have failed to hear it. The corners of his mouth turned up in a semblance of a smile.

Sooooo…? He queried.

"I'm resting. As my doctor ordered."

Ah! Because you are so good at following your doctor's orders. Well, how nice to know you have become a model patient. Carlisle leaned against the railing opposite the boy, enjoying the view.

Edward patted the edge of the chair beside him and Carlisle sauntered over to join him. He listened carefully for anyone in the area before ducking down to plant a quick kiss on Edward's lips, hastily pulling back in case he had been wrong.

Simultaneously, Edward grabbed his tie and pulled him back. "No one's here," he said, opening his mouth to savor the taste of the other man.

If you're wrong -! Carlisle always worried about impropriety. We can go back down to the cabin? He would cheerfully brave the ship's lower levels if they could continue the activity.

"Mmm." Edward kissed him leisurely, his tongue evoking latent emotions in Carlisle, who concluded that there were worse things than being caught kissing on deck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were cramped in the bowels of the ship and the weather was terrible - endless storms causing the monster to rock and creak - and Carlisle might have been grumpy if Edward had not kept him so thoroughly busy throughout the trip. The former decided it was really more like a second honeymoon than a convalescence. At any rate, Edward didn't... perform like someone incapacitated. Carlisle thought that if he were human, he would be physically exhausted just keeping up with the boy.

They were curled up together on a very small bunk designed for one short person, not two tall vampires, when Edward turned the conversation to Italy. It was his first mention of the subject although Carlisle had been expecting him to broach it for days.

"How was I able to find my own way out?" A part of him acknowledged that it had not been entirely his own doing. There was the sound that had guided him.

"You really want to know what I think?" Carlisle tried to muffle the laughter in his tone.

"Yes," Edward wasn't sure what was so funny.

"There are theories about..." Really, Edward, it will only make you furious! He was working to stifle the laughter threatening to burst and his mind was a smooth blank save images of Edward's face wearing various pouts.

"I want to know!" The boy pulled himself up to rest the weight of his torso on his forearm, genuinely curious.

Carlisle was really laughing now and trying hard to keep his mind blank. There are theories about why and how children learn to communicate. (Edward hit him, hard) Ouch! Many believe that infants only become capable of speech - Edward, quit hitting me! - at the point when they really need to communicate. So, a child doesn't need to say "Mama" or "Come" or anything in the first year of life when his every whim is met if he simply cries, but then suddenly he is expected to be independent and he finds himself in some dire situation where he has to scream "MAMA! COME!"

Or get up and walk, as it were. He was still dodging the blows.

Edward turned over on his side. "I'm sorry I asked," he said petulantly. "You're just making fun of me." Would he ever be old enough that people would quit commenting about his age?

I am NOT! You asked my opinion and I gave it - even warning you that you didn't want to hear it.

But Carlisle's laughter died down and he kissed his shoulder. I'm sorry I teased you. Forgive me? He nuzzled his neck lovingly.

Edward sulked another second before nodding. He was too quiet for a long while, making Carlisle really worry that he had overdone the jesting.

But when Edward spoke again, it was an entirely different subject. "What will happen to Aro?" His tone was as confused as he was.

"I don't know." Carlisle was suddenly sober. "I... I don't even know that he will ever recover. I am not certain how these things work themselves out, even in human subjects. I suspect his mind will recover, as yours will... but I don't know that."

And then he allowed his thoughts to follow their natural course.

It upsets you. To see him fall so far...

"It isn't as if we were friends." Edward said doubtfully.

But you care about him. And in response to Edward's furiously shaking his head, Edward! You must! He... took care of you. For awhile. Or made you think he did. As he did with me. I don't pretend that we weren't close. Hell, I still care about him.

"Is that... wrong?" The young vampire was clearly disturbed by his emotions.

"No, Edward. Anyone who has an impact on your life - for better or for worse - will always be important to you to some degree. There is no escaping that simple fact. Aro is what he is, but he has been a powerful and influential figure - in your life now as he was in mine. I have accepted that and allowed myself to forgive him for his... goals for me. Eventually, you will be able to do the same.

"In his own way, he loved you very much. You were the son he always wanted - more important to him than any of his closest, and oldest, confidantes. That says a great deal about you! He took you into his protection and guided you, molded you, educated you; you had no choice but to feel gratitude and loyalty to him. I suspect you felt a little flattered - no, don't shake your head! It was the same for me.

"And once having developed those sentiments, having established that bond... well, you cannot simply amputate him from your life. You would not be a feeling, thinking being if you could. You wouldn't be anything capable of love if you could." He pulled Edward against his chest and buried his face in his hair.

"Only time will allow you to fully comprehend the many ramifications he has had in your overall development. And we have all the time in the world.

"What you will come to understand is that Aro's attentions were bestowed at a very high price, and that price came at a tremendous cost to you - both because he granted you an exceptional role in his life and at court, and because he pitted the others against you. The only way currently for you to psychologically cope with what was done to you, Edward, is for you to find redeeming traits in him. You have to salvage yourself in all of this or you would hate yourself. What happened to you is not who you are. Eventually you will learn to reconcile those feelings and accept him as he is. Whether you continue to care for him will depend on the nature of that reconciliation."

"But you just said you still cared about him!" Edward felt a little defensive.

"Most assuredly I do! Aro was like... a father to me, as well as a mentor. He took me in after sixty painful years of lonely, fruitless searching. He showed me my potential, encouraged me, guided me, offered me friendship and housed me. That is alot for anyone to give another, Edward! But in the end, I knew that we would never be compatible and that I needed to leave and make my own way in the world. I am still very grateful to him for the things he did for me, but his ways are not mine, and I do not approve of his lifestyle."

Edward was again silent for too long. Carlisle worried... again.

"Did you have something else you wanted (needed) to ask me?"

Edward shook his head, but almost immediately resumed his line of questioning. "Will Marcus be in charge now? And what will Caius do? Will they listen to Marcus? Isn't Caius more likely to assume command now that Aro can't?" Fear of the unknown poured out of him faster than he had intended.

Carlisle hugged him tighter. "I don't think Caius... has what it takes to govern. I'm saying that badly." He gave a short laugh. "Caius is extraordinarily talented at what he does, which is to marshall the Guard to order and carry out decrees. He has always had the respect of the rank and file by virtue of the fact that he is so very much like them. Aro used to say that Caius pulled the Guard out of his back pocket. ***"He chuckled. "He is without dispute the finest military leader of our kind. And therein serves an extremely useful purpose. But a military leader cannot always fulfill the functions of State. And I think that Caius recognizes that. Why else would he have willingly submitted to Aro for so long? It was only when he saw a viable alternative in Marcus, once Chelsea was no longer in Aro's camp, that he made his move.

"Did I answer your question, my Edward? He laughed to himself, and said out loud. "Yes, I think we can expect to see Marcus assuming a much more important role now that he is no longer enslaved."

"A much more important role? But won't he just replace Aro?"

"Did you listen to nothing Marcus said, Edward? It does no good to replace one ruler with another. There must be a fundamental change in how things are done. Marcus has the wherewithal to institute that change."

He kissed him softly on the head. I was just going to say how young you are, Edward, but instead I am going to tell you how proud I am of you!

Edward was baffled, though the second part of the statement mitigated the anger he felt towards the first part. He wanted Carlisle to be proud of him, but - "Why?" - he wasn't sure he had done anything worthy of such praise.

"Because I know that no one other than you could go through all of that and come out a better... vampire." He had almost said "person". He smiled proudly, and Edward could feel it.

"Will they..." Edward scrunched his face up, uncertain how to ask.

Yes? He was quick in response, sensing that something was still upsetting him more than he wanted to admit.

"Without Aro in charge, to stop it... Will they come back... do you think?"

"No." Said aloud and definitively. "As hard as it is to accept, Edward, it was just... an unfortunate occurrence. Just something that happened. No one planned it or ordered it. Nothing like it has happened before - at least under the current regime - and precautions have been taken so that it will not happen again." Suddenly the mental anguish he had been suppressing surfaced and overwhelmed him.

It was my fault for having failed to protect you - He was grinding his teeth. It was about to get much, much worse.

"No, Carlisle!" Edward needed to nip the torrent of self-abuse in the bud. "It wasn't your fault! Nothing you could have done -"

I should have been at home with you! I should never have gone back to work! I failed to teach you to defend yourself -

"Carlisle, how could you teach someone to defend themselves against Jane? Nothing you could have taught me could have prepared me for her -"

But had I been at home with you, none of this -

"Carlisle, you cannot stay at home with me every day. For one thing, you would drive me crazy, hovering over me all the time! We tried that in Europe and even with endless distractions, we still got on each other's nerves. You need your work and I need to find something to do with myself."

It worked! Carlisle's focus changed. But not quite as Edward had intended. He sighed. It was going to be a loooong afternoon.

You never told me I drive you crazy. That gave him something new to fret about. Is it because I read too much? Is it all the thinking? I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to have to listen to me all the time -

"Carlisle," he groaned, covering his eyes with his hand, "Please stop or I really will divorce you."

Divorce me? Carlisle was far too upset to form another coherent thought.

"I'm sorry I even brought it up because I can see that we are going to think about it all day and that is going to make me miserable."

I don't try to make you miserable, Edward... He tucked his chin into his chest, despondent at the thought of losing Edward.

"Now who's being juvenile?" Edward rolled his eyes.

I just worry sometimes -

Edward snorted.

Well, what if you found someone... younger (Edward was laughing now; he wasn't the only one who had issues with his age.) Don't laugh! Someone you had more in common with. Carlisle was deeply saddened by the thought and falling further into the downward spiral.

"Carlisle, how could I have more in common with anyone other than with you?" He really regretted initiating the conversation.

It's just that I am old and not much fun to be around and I like things that you do not like and -

"Stop!" Edward said gently, kissing him to distract him. "I married you because I love you. And every day we are together makes me realize that there is no one else, never could be anyone else, that I could love as I wholly and completely love you."

Carlisle weighed those words carefully, mollified, pursing his lips a little while he thought. Really?

"Really," he said softly, pressing his forehead to his mate's.

Really and truly? -

"Carlisle!" He growled, and he rolled on top of him.

***I WISH I could recall who said it, but at some point after the Russian Revolution, Trotsky came under attack (he was, after all, a Jew and an intellectual and therefore highly suspect in spite of his heroic efforts on behalf of the revolutionary cause) and several of the Bolshevik leaders came to his defense when the Thermidor opposition was calling for his head. In his reminiscences of Lenin (Vladimir Lenin) Maxim Gorky relates a conversation he had with Lenin in which the latter banged his fist on the table and said: "Show me another man who could have practically created a model army in a year and won the respect of the military specialists as well. We have got such a man!"

But I swear it was Gorky who laughingly said that Trotsky had taken a bunch of illiterate peasant workers and "pulled the Red Army, a million men strong!, out of his back pocket." If I find the quote, I will update.