Chapter 14 – Tainted Perceptions

Chat Noir had to flee. The pain radiating in his chest was too hard to conceal. The tears threatening to fall were burning too hard to be driven back. Ladybug had flinched away from him. The way he had from Chloe. He'd needed an answer, a final confirmation that nothing romantic existed between him and his partner. And the result was killing him inside. Ladybug felt nothing for him in regards to attraction. Nothing at all. She'd even giggled at the silliness of it all.

But it was the shove to his chest, pushing him away with both hands that had been the most crushing. Didn't she feel how fast his heart had been beating? That it cracked at her rejection? When Ladybug had held his hand for almost an hour Chat Noir had hoped it was a sign of change. Normally she would have pulled away from him the moment her touch was no longer necessary. She'd told him it was only an offer of comfort, but she'd never held his hand for so long before. Hope has blossomed within him, only to wither just as quickly.

Ladybug had seemed stunned by his retreat, as if she wanted to say something but he couldn't stick around to listen. He didn't want to hear the excuses as to why she could never seem him in that way. Chat Noir faltered in his run. His strides steadying to a trot across someone's rooftop as he stared at the night sky for answers. Why did he have to fall in love with someone who could never love him in return? Why did he have to feel such conflict of feelings towards Marinette?

Swallowing back his tears, Chat Noir paused to look at the moon. Why was love so hard and unobtainable for him? Was it a family curse? His father had become cold and unfeeling at the loss of his wife, of the love of his life whom was no longer there. Would the son emulate the father? Was he doomed to only suffer heartache? Chat Noir cringed at the thought.

He didn't want to go home. There was no comfort there. He didn't want to go back to Ladybug as only pain resided in her company right now. Chat Noir needed solace but was lost as to where he could find it. Plagg would offer little comfort. His solution to everything was cheese. He could hardly turn up on any of his friends' doorsteps without explaining what was going on. Or could he? Again, his mind wandered to Marinette but Chat Noir shook his head hard. No. He could not go there. Not with such conflicted emotions.

But as he started moving his feet had other ideas. As much as he tried to avoid the Dupain-Cheng bakery, Chat Noir's body kept correcting his course apparently overruling his brain. His booted feet landed on her balcony some twenty minutes later but the light wasn't on in her bedroom. Slumping into the foldout chair on her balcony, the hero of Paris curled into himself, holding his knees as he quietly wept.

In that moment he hated himself. Hated how he was so blindly optimistic that he could one day win Ladybug's heart. Hated how much her constant rejections hurt. Hated that he was stupid enough to keep hoping for something that would never be. Chat Noir never let himself feel the true depth of his emotional pain when rejected by Ladybug. He always pushed it deep down and continued on. But this time he let the agony and anguish wash over him. Masked eyes scrunched closed as he sobbed harder, his jaw clenching with each wretched gasp.

Cat ears tracked the faint sound of the skylight window being opened but Chat Noir was too caught up in his own misery to take any notice.

"Oh my God, Chat, what's wrong?"

Words were to much. Instead Chat merely looked over to Marinette's concerned face and cried harder. Sucking in breaths that were too quick, he tried to speak. "Ladybug…will never…love…me."

And Marinette gets to finally see how much sway Ladybug has over Chat Noir's feelings. A bit more angst next chapter and then let's move onto the fluffier stuff.

Thanks for reading :)