When I finally felt my panic attack slipping away, which no one, thank god, had been present for, I rose to my shaking feet and continued to the common room. My hands continued to shake as I forced one foot in front of the other, thinking that I'd like nothing better than a hot shower to steady my nerves.

No one was in the common room when I arrived, and I quickly made my way up to the girl's dormitory. I headed straight for the showers, grabbing my dressing gown off of my bedpost as I went. I turned the tap to as hot as it would go, undressed and removed my arm bandage, then moved to stand under the water. I turned to face the stream, letting it run over my face for so long that it almost lulled me to sleep before I stepped out and wrapped myself in my cozy white dressing gown. As I moved to the vanity to brush out my hair one of the sleeves fell down, low on my arm. I could see the cut Pettigrew had given me, the one that Madame Pomfrey couldn't heal. It had crusted over, making a deep purple line almost from my wrist to my elbow.

Great, I thought to myself. I was definitely going to get another perfectly obvious scar from this wound.

I lifted my eyes from the ugly, purpling scar to the vanity mirror. I wiped the steam from it to see that my face was bright pink from the hot water. I had an already-yellowing bruise above my eyebrow, and my forehead was wrinkled in an expression of pain and concern. My hated lightning-bolt scar was as present as ever. I stared at it in hatred, willing it to disappear from my skin. I traced every line and mark of it with my eyes as I glared, having memorized the exact shape of it long ago. The shape every other witch and wizard knew and so easily identified.

As I stared into the mirror, my anger grew and grew until I ran to my desk and yanked open the top drawer, pulling my pair of scissors roughly from their wooden compartment. Coming back to the mirror, I pulled the wet, red hair hanging against the side of my face forward until it covered my scar. Placing the scissors so that the cut would be just above my eyebrow, I brought them closed and watched as my hair slowly drifted to the bathroom floor. I did the same with the hair on the other side of my face, making sure that the scar would be completely covered. It was uneven, but it served the purpose that I wanted.

I headed back to my bed, drawing the curtains around myself and casting a Mufilato spell so I wouldn't be able to hear the girls when they came in. I noticed that most of them had their trunks packed already, and realized that I would need to pack mine when I awoke too. I drifted off almost immediately…more exhausted than I had ever remembered being before. For a while I dreamt of nothing, there was just the black nothingness that enveloped me in its embrace. And then I heard screaming…on and on it went, and there was nothing but the screams, they were all I could hear or think about, they took up everything in space. I realized they were coming from the stands; the tournament stands. I could hear Amos Diggory's screams louder than them all.

I was laying down on something soft, and I cast my eyes downward to see that Cedric was beneath me, still and unmoving. He made eye contact with me for a second, winked, then smirked, before going back to being dead…I jolted when he winked at me, what was he doing?

"You're scaring everyone Cedric, now stop play acting!" I said down to him. "Come on, get up before they think you're actually dead!"

But he didn't respond. I touched him gently on the cheek, and he was as cold as ice. Jerking my hand away, I felt someone grab my wrist and pull. They were pulling so hard I thought my hand would be pulled clean off from my arm, and then they started shaking me.

"Get up! C'mon, get up!" The arm-puller said. I turned away from Cedric to see who it was, and the distorted face of Mad-Eye-Moody came into view, his flesh bubbling away as it had when the polyjuice potion left his system. "Get up!" He kept screaming at me "Come with me now, get up!"

"No!" I yelled at him, "No no no no!"

"Rose, wake up!"

Heart racing, I opened my eyes and quickly sat up. I looked around wildly before I saw Hermione, eyeing me with concern.

Realizing I had been having a nightmare, I covered my face with my hands and took deep breaths to calm myself down.

"I'll go get Madame Pomfrey, shall I?" Hermione said, looking frazzled and worried.

"No, no don't" I replied, raising my head so that I could meet her eyes. "I'm okay now."

Hermione nodded, biting her lip like she always did during exams.

"What time is it?" I asked her, looking past her shoulder to see that it was now light outside.

"It's Thursday afternoon…you were already fast asleep when we all came in yesterday night. It's-"

Her voice halted, and then she tried again, clearing her throat "Cedric's memorial is in an hour…I wasn't sure if you wanted to go or not."

"Dumbledore thinks that I should go."

"Yes, but…if it's too soon, if you feel like you need more sleep?"

"No" I immediately replied, "I should go…I'll have to face everyone eventually."

"Alright" Hermione replied, smiling kindly. She offered to go grab food for me from the Great Hall, even bribing me with the fact that there was probably treacle tart left.

I shook my head in refusal, my stomach rolling at the thought of eating right now. I made to move out of the bed and dress, but as I did Hermione started to giggle.

"What?" I asked turning once again to face her.

"What on Earth did you do to your hair? I think Hagrid could've done a better cut!"

I reached up to feel my new bangs, I had forgotten that they were there. I went back to the bathroom mirror, noticing that the hair that I had let fall to the floor yesterday was now gone. Hermione came in behind me, and our eyes met in the mirror. I looked back to my bangs and burst into fits of laughter, Hermione soon joining me. My hair really did look awful.

Once we could breathe again through our giggles, Hermione turned me around to face her and began evening out the cut, growing and cutting my hair until it was perfectly even.

—

"Dumbledore, the girl hasn't been seen all day!"

"I'm well aware of that Severus, but I am sure she is just resting and preparing for the memorial."

"How can you be sure?" My fingers curled into fists as my temper flared, "You weren't there! You didn't see her expression after she left Diggory's body, I think we need to get McGonagall involved as soon as possible."

"Not yet, Severus. If she doesn't turn up to the memorial and Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley are unable to confirm her whereabouts, then of course we will go looking for her. But as you and I both know, to truly grief and heal requires time on one's own."

I rolled my eyes in frustration, but gave up my losing side of the battle with the old man, nodding my head in the affirmative.

"I shall see you soon then, headmaster"

"Very good, Severus" Dumbledore bobbed his head in acknowledgement, rising from his seat as I turned to leave.

"Oh, and Severus. Please be sure to speak with your students before the memorial…highlight the need of respect for the dead even when one's parents are involved in…certain political groups. I want no conflict between the Slytherins and the other houses tonight."

A certain understanding passed between us, and I could see how it pained the old man to have lost a student under his care.

I nodded my assent once again before exiting the office, making my way to the Slytherin common room.