AN - Hope you all had a lovely weekend. I managed to finish this fic and start another so we've got another 2 chapters after this one! Hope you enjoy :)
Chapter Twelve: Nothing makes people more nervous, than a powerful woman...
Tonks watched as Remus walked down the hill back towards the Burrow. Even from a distance she could see the tortured expression on his face. Was he already regretting kissing her? Had she really messed things up so fast? She took a deep breath and chastised her brain… it always did this. If any of her friends said such negative things about themselves, she would be the first to whip them into shape, remind them how fierce, wonderful and utterly gorgeous they were and how lucky any man would be to be dating them. Yet when it came to her own, rather tragic thus far, love life – she was always so hard on herself.
A more logical, reasonable part of her brain suggested that Remus' torment could have absolutely nothing to do with her. She knew what it was like, being a metamorphmagus, wondering if guys were really as okay with it as they initially said they were. It was entirely possible that Remus would find it hard to believe that someone really was willing to accept him, all of him, as he was.
Another snippy, bitchy part of her brain suggested that Remus' mood might have absolutely nothing to do with her whatsoever. Afterall, they'd known each other little more than a week – surely, he had more important things to be dwelling on than a quick smooch he'd shared with a loudmouth Auror.
Tonks smugly shut that part of her brain down as Remus looked up and noticed her. The smile that lit up his face told her everything she needed to quieten all the negative thoughts swirling in her brain and bring to the surface those that told her she'd found a good thing here – he was adorable.
Kicking her heels off the wall, she allowed herself to unabashedly keep eye contact with him as he continued his decent down towards the Burrow boundary.
Once close enough to hold a relatively quiet conversation, given the still very early hour, Tonks smiled and said, "I figured you'd be an early riser. Thought I'd try and catch you before everyone else wakes up."
Remus smiled back, finally reaching the wall, he stood in front of Tonks, just a metre way. "Good Morning. Even for me, pre-dawn strolls are unusual, but walking is where I do my best thinking."
Tonks remembered her friends always wittering on about how the most important thing in relationships was communication. "I hope you're not having second thoughts, regrets. About yesterday – about not wanting casual?" She supposed at least this way, she'd know.
Remus stepped right up to her, placing one hand on her knee, the other reaching up to lightly grip her waist. "I'll admit that some of the thinking to be done involved you, but I certainly have no regrets."
Remus faltered, unsure how honest to be with someone, that he had to keep reminding himself, he really hadn't known that long. "I suppose," he began slowly, "past experiences have taught me that being a werewolf isn't the greatest asset when it comes to having a love life. Part of me feels like I'm just waiting for what I am to sink in, for you to realise we should just be friends or that you never want to see me again."
Tonks placed her palm on Remus' cheek. "I'm so sorry Remus. Sorry that you've been treated like that in the past. I don't know how to convince you that I'm different. That it's already sunk in, in fact – that isn't true."
Remus looked down, but Tonks pulled his chin up and met his gaze. "Because it never needed to sink in – it just wasn't a factor that changed the attraction I was already feeling for you."
Remus tilted his head into Tonk's hand and placed his on top of hers. "That can't be true. How can that be true? How can you be so okay with…"
Tonks smiled, "With you being a werewolf? I don't know – maybe it's because I'm a metamorphmagus. I'm used to being judged on one singular aspect of my being rather than on all of me and so I know it's bullshit. Maybe it's because I've met werewolves before, ones who were nice and ones who were arseholes, maybe it's because you haven't dated the right sort of women before and this is just how normal, nice people, respond." Tonks slid her hand from his face and clasped them together behind his neck.
Remus smiled and made a mental note to thank the Weasley's for the perfect height of their boundary wall. Wrapping his arms around Tonks waist, he tilted his face up towards her as she lent down just enough to kiss him.
Tonks smiled against Remus' mouth. Moving barely an inch away from him she whispered, "Remus just know that I will happily have this same conversation with you everyday if necessary, if that is what it takes, I'll convince you every day that I like you exactly as you are, for who you are."
Remus smiled, "You really are a ninja witch."
Tonks looked up confused, "A ninja witch?"
Remus laughed and helped Tonks jump off the wall, "Er, yeah, I'll explain some other time."
Tonks smiled, "Ninja witch… I mean I don't hate it… Auror Tonks, Ninja Witch. Has quite a nice ring to it actually…"
As they entered the kitchen, Remus and Tonks both laughing, neither noticed Molly scurrying out, back into the living room to given them some space.
Molly Weasley was a woman in her early 40's with seven children – yet somehow everyone seemed to picture her as some dowdy old woman. It didn't bother her, in fact she thought it was quite funny and used the fact that people thought they were a little scared of her; though she knew they were only really intimidated, to her advantage. It kept her children (and occasionally her husband) in line and made life much simpler. Still what most people would never know about Molly Weasley was that at heart – she was a complete softy, a huge romantic. She loved love. After all, you don't come to have seven children if you're indifferent to romance.
She'd seen the connection between Remus and Tonks immediately of course and though at first, it had taken her by surprise - they were so very different; after a few days of seeing the shy glances they were risking when they thought the other wasn't looking and the way they sat close to each other or snuck away together at every opportunity, Molly realised they weren't so different after all.
The werewolf and the metamorphmagus – one forced to morph into a creature once a month, the other able to do so at will. There couldn't be a better match really. Molly had enjoyed watching Tonks turn from an awkward teenager, unsure of herself, of her place in the world; into a confident young woman, an Auror, a protector of the innocent. Molly knew that like all strong women, Tonks was often told she was too much, she was loud, overbearing, intimidating – but Tonks had learnt what those people meant was, she was successful. Molly had once told Tonks what her Mother had told her - there is nothing that makes some people more nervous than a powerful woman. So, they try to tear her down, silence her, belittle her, oppress her. Tonks, Molly knew, had come to terms with that fight in her career; they'd spoken about how Tonks would always have to work harder than the guys within her department. Working in such a male dominated environment, Tonks was often labelled bossy, where her male counterparts were heralded as assertive. Tonks was emotional; her colleagues were passionate. She was domineering, they showcased leadership skills. Molly was proud that Tonks could handle herself well and had gained a lot of respect in such a short time on the Auror squad. She knew from Arthur that Tonks was spoken of with reverence… at least until this silly business with Sirius Black happened. Still, as capable as Tonks was, Molly also knew, having to fight, to stand up and defend your right to be somewhere day in and day out, took its toll and it was a fight Tonks wasn't willing to accept outside of her career.
Dating was something that Tonks did not take to quite so naturally as she did catching dark wizards. She struggled between wanting to be this fiercely independent woman who could stand up for herself and wanting to meet someone she could rely on, be herself around. Someone who she could be vulnerable with, who would see strength in that vulnerability. So far, from what Molly had heard of some of the reprobates Tonk's had dated, she had only succeeding in meeting guys who expected to become the centre of her world, who couldn't handle that Tonks had worked hard for and intended to continue putting a lot of time and effort into her career. She dated guys who were clearly only after one thing and whilst Molly was all for that one thing… again you don't come to have seven children if you're indifferent to a roll in the hay; Tonks needed someone who would appreciate all of her. Her intelligence, her wit, strength of character and passion. She needed someone who would see her fierceness and be turned on by it, not intimidated.
Molly walked past the pile of everyone's Christmas gifts, still sat in piles around the tree. Spotting Remus' scarf Tonks had bought him, she smiled. Remus Lupin. How much the man had been through – enough to make anyone bitter, cold and resentful; yet Remus was so kind, loving in his own quiet way and warm to everyone he met. Molly always appreciated Remus' calming presence in her home. Somehow, even with seven children running around, Remus just made everything feel serene. He had a quality that those who were foolhardy and didn't take the time to get to know him, would say was a shyness but Molly knew that was utterly rubbish. Remus was as shy and retiring as the twins!
Molly knew in another life; Remus might have been as colourful and upfront as Tonks. It was life experience which had told Remus that his best chance of survival was to be unassuming, stay in line, appear beige and uninteresting. Though his character was so charismatic and charming that anyone could tell you after five minutes of talking to Remus Lupin that he was anything but beige. Molly knew that Remus had spent his whole life trying to be the opposite of what people expected a werewolf to be. He'd been taught, by loving and devoted but scared parents, that there was part of him to be feared and Remus had carried that belief with him for over 30 years. The voice in his head that repeatedly told him, everyone he met would recoil if they knew what he was.
Though she had never really had a discussion with Remus regarding his love life, Molly had heard him comment, usually in throw away remarks, that he had resigned himself to the bachelors life; but she had witnessed over the years, in how he played with the kids, that wasn't a life he was choosing, but one that he felt his condition forced upon him. Molly hoped that wasn't the case.
She smiled as she slowly walked up the stairs carrying a mug of hot tea. The werewolf and the metamorphmagus – to the outsider, such an unlikely pair. But to their friends, it was clear to see they were more alike than appearances would suggest. Of course, there was the age difference, quite a significant one. It was hard not to think of her little Ginny, how would Molly feel if in 10 years, Ginny bought home someone much older. Molly knew the excitement of crushing on an older man, but she also knew there was a difference between an older man who 'dated' a lot of young girls and an older man who happened to fall for a younger woman. Molly knew when it came to her own children, she was bound to find it hard to accept anyone they bought home – at first. Though she hoped she'd warm to them eventually. But she liked to believe that she would be open enough to base her judgements on the individual not a stereotype. If she had seen Tonks sitting on her wall kissing just any man 13 years her senior, Molly may well have marched outside and dragged them both in by their earlobes, but the fact was, it wasn't just any older man – it was Remus.
Perhaps Molly was getting a little soft, but it filled her heart with joy to think that Remus might have, against all odds, found someone who could make him happy. She chuckled to herself, she'd only seen them sharing a quick kiss, not Remus proposing – they had only met a week ago! Still, she remembered the first time her and Arthur shared a kiss and how it had changed her life irrevocably and for the better in every single way. She prayed with all her heart, the same would be true for Tonks and Remus.
How wonderful it would be to be able to say that they met at the Burrow! What a romantic story to tell their children – meeting and falling in love over Christmas. As she reached her bedroom Molly tried to stop her brain from writing a full romantic plot-line for the young couple she'd accidentally spied on. Though she tried not to dwell on it, Molly and Arthur had spoken a lot together and with Remus and none of them ever truly believed that he who must not be named was really gone and ff course, that had been confirmed in Ron and Harry's first year. Molly had been a young woman raising a young family the last time Voldemort had risen to power and though being in love during the midst of a war wasn't everyone's priority, Molly felt it had made her stronger – given her something tangible to fight for. When she didn't have the strength to fight for herself, she focused on her babies, her husband, her family.
Remus had lost his little makeshift family in that war, in tragic and terrifying ways, but Molly hoped that if there was to be another fight to be had, that Remus would be afforded the gift she still had to this day, people she loved fiercely.
People worth fighting for.
AN - Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for the favs, follows and comments. Please do leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter! :)