Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games because if I did Jay would exist!

I sat in the hard back chair of the dining hall and just stared at the food on my plate thinking back to my meeting with Coin. She had listened to everything I had to say but it was like she had heard it all before and I was certain Plutarch had already filled her in on everything that had happened in the Capitol but that wasn't the worst part of the meeting,

'Miss Odair, given your history of violence and your recent threats against my colleague here I consider you to be a danger to the people of 13.'
'A danger?! You have to be kidding me; I only hurt people who deserve it.' I glared at Plutarch and he backed slowly away which was hard seeing as the office was so small.
'Until I can trust you will do as you say I'm going to assign you a guard to make sure you behave. Private Hawthorn, I'm putting you in charge of Miss Odair here.'
'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I don't need a babysitter.'
'It's only temporary Miss Odair; until I am sure you can be trusted.

'Where did you disappear to? You know it's my job to watch you.' Gale slid into the seat across from me, I had ditched him after I had gotten my room assignment and had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to return myself to something resembling a human being.
'I went to take a shower that's not illegal now is it? Or do you have to make sure I'm not a danger to the plumbing?' He shook his head smiling and we sat there staring at each other for a while.
'Aren't you going to eat anything?' I looked at the untouched food on my plate and sighed.
'It's been a while since you know, I've had so much food and plus the whole knife and fork thing.'
'You've been on the run for over a year, it's understandable that you don't remember stuff like that. Here let me help you.' He picked up my fork and slipped it between my fingers and cupped my hand in his. 'There, just like that. Don't worry you'll get it eventually.'
'Maybe Coin's right, I'm a savage. I can't even use a stupid fork.' Tears ran down my cheeks and I stared at the table trying not to look Gale in the eye.
'They're like that with everyone, they don't trust Katniss at all and she hasn't even done a 10th of the things you have.'
I nodded, 'How do you hold it again.' He laughed and cupped my hand in his.

I stood outside Haymitch's room waiting for him to come out and talk to me, I paced the small hallway and played with my hair.
'Hey kiddo, you need something?' He stood leaning against the door and it made me wince thinking of how Boreas would do the same thing when he was taunting me.
'I wanted to ask you if I could see Peeta, please he's my friend and I need to know if he's okay.'
'Look he's unstable, anything that reminds him of Katniss could trigger him.'
'I don't remind him of Katniss, I've shared a shithole of a cell with him for months. You didn't have to sit there with him and watch that nice, innocent guy disappear. I did, I had to sit there and see him lose a piece of himself every second they had him. I don't remind him of Katniss I remind him of me and how I sat there and talked to him for hours trying to calm him down when he tried to kill himself. I held him together. NOW LET ME SEE HIM!'

Haymitch stepped back shocked as I clenched my hands into a fist, after a while he nodded and led me down to where they were keeping Peeta. He had restraints on him, pinning him to the bed in the centre of the room. My eyes grew wide and I felt like I was going to puke, Haymitch put his hand on my shoulder. I walk to the glass and think of how hard we tried to get out for him to be put straight back in the same position.
'It's for his own good, he tries to kill anyone when they come in.'
'Guess he learnt that from me.' I pushed past him and all the people watching Peeta through the sheet of glass, someone tried to stop me but I just shoved them away and entered the room.

'JAY!'
'Peeta!' I ran into the room, dropped down to my knees next to the bed and tossed my arms around his neck, the restraints making the hug awkward as he tried to prop himself up on his elbows. 'Thank god you're okay.'
'Have you seen Katniss, she's out there, she could get you. She killed my family and I won't have her killing you too.' He started to pull on the restraints trying to get free.
'Shh. Hey, Hey.' I cupped his face in my hand very aware of the people with guns who had just run in behind me. 'Remember what I told you, she won't hurt me and she won't hurt you. I promise, they put it in your head. She didn't do it please remember. I just want the old you back.' I tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as he scrunched up his face and shook his head like he always did when I tried to contradict his memories. 'Don't shake your head at me Peeta, please just try. Think of a happy memory, you know it helps.' He closed his eyes for a minute concentrating, trying to remember.
'I... I... can't.' He hung his head and tried to avoid my eyes. 'She came in, she came in to hurt me. She came to finish me off.'
'What are you talking about? Did Katniss come to see you?' He nodded and I glared at the people behind me, I couldn't believe that they let her in here. 'What did you do to her Peeta? Is that why you're tied up.'
'I tried to kill her. I was so close. I could have saved you.' I pulled his face up to mine.
'I don't need saving, we're safe now I promise you. I'll make you better, I'll get you back.'
'Jay, it's been long enough. You need to leave now.' Haymitch appeared behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I nodded and leant up and kissed Peeta on the cheek.
'I promise.' I said as Haymitch lead me out of the room.

'Are you okay?' Haymitch takes me down the hall away from everyone else. I sink down against the wall and bury my face in my knees trying not to cry. Haymitch sits down next to me and puts his arms around my shoulders.
'He looks worse.' I whisper lifting my head to look at him as tears roll down my cheeks. 'He couldn't even think of a memory. It's the only thing that used to keep us together in there and know it's like he's back there but this time he's all alone. I'm not there to help him.'
'You can't blame yourself for what they did to him. You tried so hard to keep him together. I think that if you weren't there that he'd have been lost long ago.'