Author's note: So... This is it. This is the last chapter.
There will be an epilogue, but this is the last real part of the story.
As always, I want to thank everyone who read this story. You truly don't know what it means to me.
This chapter takes place exactly where 2X15 leaves off.
As always, I will love it if you leave me your thoughts and enjoy this chapter
They all go down from the top of the engine one by one. Leaving as they came, letting Vic have some much necessary breathing room. Let her have time to process and to feel.
They all leave, each to his own devices, each to their preferred way of handling the loss just descended upon them without as much as a warning.
They all go down, disappearing each to their little quiet nook somewhere in the big station, until only Andy and Vic remain. They hold each other's hand tightly, but neither of them says a word, each of them lost in her own thoughts. Thoughts about what could have been and about things that can still happen.
"Go." Vic whispers the word, which echos all the way up to the high ceiling. Andy knows where she has to go, the place where she will inevitably get to. The place where she has been walking towards all this time, ever since the moment she decided to smile at a stranger in a bar, even if she didn't always know she was headed that direction.
"Andy, the way you looked at each other today, comforting each other with nothing but the warmth in your eyes. This can't be mistaken for anything else. And one of the many lessons life unfortunately threw my way earlier today, is that they are short and unexpected. I just thought you should know he went home earlier."
"I don't want to leave you alone." Andy tries, half the truth half an excuse. She rises herself to a sitting position and moves slowly toward the ladder. At this point, if Vic tells her she wants Andy to lower the moon for her, she will go through hell and back to give it to her, grant her everything she wishes.
And Vic asks Andy for one, much easier task than to grab the moon by its tale. Her friend's only request from her is to love and be loved, as long as she is still able to do so.
"Andy, don't waste another minute. Not on my account, anyway. I will be alright, I just need some time to myself. I would have probably asked you to leave anyway, even if you didn't have anywhere better to be."
Andy nods at her, giving her a weak smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. She heads to her locker, her shoes making noise on the floor with every step she takes, matching the beat of her heart which only goes faster and louder by the second.
She goes through whatever clothing she has in there, trying to pick something that will match what she is going to do, even if she is not quite sure what it will be yet. She heads toward the shower, peeling off the uniform, piece by piece, each of the items stuck to her body like a second skin by now. She is in and out, showers quickly, only enough to wash off of herself the smell of hospital hallways and tears and death.
She opts for a thin burgundy sweater and a pair of fitted jeans, pulling them on quickly, her skin not even dry yet. As her eyes scan her locker one last time, she comes across the pair of shorts and tank top Sullivan seemed to have some kind of a love hate relationship with. She pulls the items quickly and shoves them into her bag, adding an additional set of clean underwear before she has a chance to regret it.
Just in case they will be needed.
She has only been to his house twice before, but the path that will get her there is still clear in her mind. The drive is short, and even as she makes one stop along the way, it doesn't take her more than fifteen minutes until she has to open the door of her car and head out to his street, leaving the small bag with the extra clothing inside the trunk.
The night chill goes all through her, and she feels the cold wind down all the way to her spine. Or maybe it is the rush of adrenaline that flows in her veins as she knocks frantically on the door, then hides the two items she bought on the first grocery store she could find on her way behind her back.
His whole expression lights up when he sees her standing on his threshold, and she knows that however they are going to end up tonight, friends or lovers, she has made the right call not letting him spend the first night where his best friend is no longer in the land of the living alone.
"I have something for you." Andy says, as she is revealing the box of Lucky Charms she has hidden behind her back. "Just in case you want to channel whatever it is you are feeling into eating an entire box of these."
"You bought the kind that has only the marshmallows in it." He notes as he takes the box away from her.
"I bought the kind that has only the marshmallows in it." She repeats his words. "So now you can eat every single piece of it instead of using them as a weapon. I have also brought this." She pulls out the bottle of Merlot she had in her other hand. "Just in case you want something stronger than sugar and artificial food coloring."
They stand at the front of his house for a few long seconds, smiling at each other as if they were two ignorant love struck teenagers. "Come in." He finally invites her.
As she walks into his living room, she is welcomed by a wave of warmth that fills her senses, making her a bit more relaxed than she was when she approached his house. "You have a fireplace." She observes. "Kind of ironic for a firefighter."
"Being a firefighter just means I know how to handle it safely." Robert pulls two wine glasses out of the cabinet, and fills the two of them almost to the brim, way past the point every decent bartender would have poured it, if they did it the professional way.
He walks carefully toward Andy, who is sitting on the carpet in front of the fireplace, her legs crossed, and hands her one of the way too generously poured wine glasses. Then he walks back and grabs the box of cereal she bought . "You know I do own a couch, right?" He looks behind her, at the sofa she is currently leaning her back against.
"I just feel like it is more cozy down here. And it seems like all we do is sit on the floor these days, anyway. Furniture is overrated, if you ask me."
Andy can't help but sneak a glance at him while he opens the bag of cereal, his whole attention dedicated to that simple action. He looks as handsome as ever, wearing a worn out pair of jeans and a long sleeve black shirt, a serious frown on his face.
"I just never noticed it, the fireplace." Andy points out as she takes a long sip from her red wine, and reaches to take a handful of the sweets. They sit tightly together, the entire right side of her body connected to his left, and in every point they touch she feels a small electric current, even beneath all the layers of clothing that separate their skins.
"Well, it might be due to the fact that in the only other two times you have been here, we haven't spent much time at the living room particularly."
Andy is tempted to shoot the piece of cereal she holds in her hand in his direction, but instead she just decides to put it in her mouth and chew slowly. She sees him downing the entire content of his glass, and she knows there is something he wants to say, there is something on his heart, stuck between his ribs begging to be let out.
"You know, it is funny how much courage liquor can give you. How it can lower your inhibitions, make you do or say things that otherwise would have stayed locked deep inside you." She stops for a minute, tries to figure out how to encourage him to finally open up to her. "I know there is something you want to say, Robert. Just let it out, I can take it, whatever it is."
"You know, Ripley asked me for something just before he died." Robert trails a finger along the rim of his empty glass, his eyes staring at the cream colored carpet. Andy reaches out a hand instinctively and touches his cheek, which makes him lift his gaze up immediately. He places his glass as far from him as possible, and she does the same, even if hers is still half full.
"What did he ask for?" Andy coaxes softly, the fingers on his face caressing his check lightly, and the feel of his stubble beneath her fingers makes goosebumps rise up the skin of her arms.
"It is nothing." He nods his head.
"Tell me." She pleads.
He looks deep into her eyes and exhales, letting go of all the fear and the uncertainty. "He told me to find happiness again. With you."
She doesn't know how to react, speechless as if she had swallowed her own tongue, so he continues, filling the void created by her silence.
"And honestly Andy, I am done. I am sick of the rules. I am done hiding, fed up with the constant need to care what other people think of me, of us. I am tired of pretending we are just friends, that this is all that we have between us. Because I know it is more than that, and I hope that you feel the same. I don't know how to handle this feeling, that ache inside of me, the realization that Luke is really gone. But I do know this. I want to be in a safe place, at least until that pain inside of me subsides a little. And right now, you are the safest place I have. So, I think everything, the agony and the pain, they will all fade away a little if you just kiss me right now."
And so she does. Before he even has a chance to finish his sentence, she grabs the collar of his shirt and kisses him like her life depends on it. His lips are soft, a slight taste of wine and sugary cereal coming from them. He pushes the barely touched box of comfort food away, and pulls her impossibly closer, until she sits in his lap, her ankles crossed behind his back.
She slides her hands beneath his shirt and lifts it up, breaking the kiss only for a second to pull it above his head and throw it across the living room. She rolls her hips forward, and can feel him getting hard beneath her by the second.
Andy bites his lower lip before drifting away only enough to whisper the word "Bed" into his ear.
She bites his earlobe, trails wet kisses down his neck, all the way to his clavicle, nipping slightly at the bare skin. He pushes her away softly, and for a moment she is confused, since he was the one to initiate this.
But then he stands up on his feet and reaches his hand for her to take. He pulls her up on her feet, and in a moment they are facing each other again, their noses almost touching. She kisses him again, hungrier, with more force this time, and they stumble all the way across to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind them like a trail of breadcrumbs someone might find one day. Her shoes, followed by her sweater and both of their pants.
As they enter his bedroom, she is already lightheaded from all the kissing, her knees almost folding in under the weight of her desire.
Then he stops, and takes the smallest step back, until he can see every part of her body.
"What?" She asks, fighting the urge to cover her half naked body with her arms.
"You are beautiful." He says, and he is so serious, no ounce of doubt in his voice. He moves closer again, placing his weight half on top of her. He leans in to whispers in her ear. "You have no idea how long I have waited to be inside you again."
"Then by all means, go ahead." She approves, as he is back to kissing her passionately.
As his hands move down her body, his fingers trailing her soft skin until he reaches the band of her underwear and pulls them down slowly, she feels alive again, in a manner she hasn't felt in a very long time.
Every sensation in Andy's body is heightened in the afterglow. The feel of his sheets against her bare skin. The way his fingers trail her back, like he could never get enough of her, even now, even after she is sure he knows that they are going to have so many more nights to unravel in each other's naked company. The smell of his soap mixed in with the smell of sex and their sweat. The taste of his skin still on her lips.
"Don't go." Robert asks, and as his fingers press just a little into the skin of her back, the way he knows she likes so much, it takes every ounce of power she still has in her to even open her eyes.
She blinks twice, getting used to the sight of him all naked and marvelous beside her again. Every muscle in his body is showing, and as he lies in the queen sized bed, he looks like a statue of a god from one mythology or the other.
"I am not going anywhere." She promises, and for the first time she does so wholeheartedly. She wants to spend her nights with him, as well as her days. "I just have a bag with clean clothes in my car. I will go grab it and come back before you will know it."
Andy gives him a quick pack on the lips, but as she is about to get up, she feels him pulling her by the arm toward his chest again. "No." He mumbles.
"Robert, it is only going to take a second. I am not going to disappear, I swear." She tries her luck, but the temptation of staying close to his warm body wins, so when he offers to take care of that for her in the morning, she doesn't oppose.
"Wait, you brought a change of clothes?" He asks, and she is afraid she has given away a little bit more information than what was absolutely necessary. But he laughs, which reassures her somehow. "You planned for this to happen, didn't you?"
"I will be lying if I will say the thought of me ending up naked and sweaty in your bed didn't cross my mind at least once on my way down here." She confesses.
"Well, I am very glad it did."
Andy rolls over, until she is lying on top of him, her back pressed against his belly. "Wait, what are you doing?" Robert wonders
"Amelia calls it a human gravity blanket or something like that." Andy explains. "She said that the weight is supposed to make you relax."
"Well, you lying naked on top of me makes me feel a lot of different things, I am just not sure relaxed is among them." Andy can feel the movement of his abs under her as he chuckles.
"It was worth giving it a shot."
She shrugs, and as she is about to roll off of him, he stops her, laying a soft hand on her arm. "I never said I didn't like it."
Robert places a kiss on her shoulder, his fingers caressing her belly, from the bottom of her breasts all the way down her navel. The heat pools between her legs once again, and she stir uncomfortably, even if she is not sure she has it in her to go again one more time, all the way from the top.
"Ask it." She whispers, and she wonders if his mind drifts to the same spot in time she can't stop thinking about. The last time she was here. The last time they shared their bodies and his bed. Something inside tells her that he remembers, that he wanted to bring up that question again, but wasn't sure how.
"Is this all that it is? A way for the both of us to ease the pain this day inflicted on us?"
Andy shakes her head, her hair disperse all around his shoulders. She takes a deep breath, finds comfort and courage in the feel of him beneath her, the sense of his hands traveling her abdomen.
If someone would have told her she was going to be so in love with her infuriating captain just six months ago, she wouldn't have believed them. If someone would have told her that she is about to say those words, to a man, any man at all, and really mean them, for these to be her most true and secret wishes, she would have called them crazy.
And maybe if the situation was any different, if her drive to be alive, not just living, wasn't so strong after the day's events, she wouldn't have said what she knows is about to come out of her mouth. "I want more. I want dates, and kisses, and long conversations in front of the fireplace. I want to share glasses of red wine and so many more of those mind blowing orgasms. I want everything, and for some reason, I want it with you, Robert Sullivan. A man that in a morning just nine months ago, I thought I would never see again."
He doesn't react, doesn't say a word, and for a moment she is afraid that she has said too much, that she broke what could have happened between them with a confession he was not ready to welcome yet.
And then he flips her over, and meeting his eyes, she knows.
He doesn't say a word, but starts to kiss every piece of her bare skin that he comes across in his wake. Her forehead, her lips, the sensitive spot behind her ears. He moves down her throat, her clavicle, her breasts. His tongue trails down all the way, until he finally settles between her thighs.
Just before her mind goes dark and numb, completely surrenders to the sensation he inflicts on her body only using his mouth, she understands.
He decided to show her.
Show her that finally, he wants the exact same thing as she does, and so much more. And for the first time since they met at Jo's bar nine months ago, he doesn't hesitate to have what his heart desires. Not anymore.
When Andy finally wakes up, his side of the bed is still warm. She rolls over to her belly, stretches her limbs, smiles as she feels the ache between her thighs, inflicted by their chosen night time activity they engaged in until the sun almost rose.
Everything in her surroundings smells like him, a woody, masculine scent that has become so familiar by now. The sheets, his pillow, her naked body, telling her that last night was not a fantasy she came up with in her overly active mind.
She closes her eyes once again, only for a second surrendering herself to the warmth of the blanket covering her.
She could stay there, naked in his bed, forever, and only wait for him to come back to her and do all those things with his mouth over and over again, everyday for the rest of her life. Yet as she figures out it must already be way past morning time, she rolls herself out of the bed unwillingly.
She finds the bag that was abandoned in her car waiting for her inside the bedroom, and she goes through it in order to find the change of underwear she brought along with her. She reaches for the pair of shorts and top, but then catches a glimpse in the corner of her eye of one of his station 19 T- Shirts.
She opens the neatly folded shirt, glances in the mirror, comparing the large size of his shirt to her small body.
Perfect.
She heads into his shower, takes her sweet time with it, a part of her hoping he will hear the sound of running water and come along and join her, but to Andy's disappointment, he never does.
She is barely even dressed as she walks out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling her senses. He is busy with something she cannot see, leaning against the kitchen counter, his back turned to her, and she is not even certain he hears her sneaking up behind him.
Andy wraps her arms around his middle and rests her head on his back, breathing him in.
"You are getting me all wet." He says as he turns to face her.
"You always have something to complain about, don't you?" Andy asks, but the smile on her face is unavoidable, like the corners of her mouth rise on their own accord.
Her pain is there, still present, still pressing against her chest, and she is sure his own share of ache is there too. But somehow, somehow through all the darkness that envelopes the both of them, some light still manages to filter in, enough happiness for the both of them to grin at each other, and for their eyes to sparkle in the sunlight straining through the windows.
"Absolutely not." He denies. "Everything about this moment is absolutely perfect." She gives him a second, wrapping her arms around his neck. It takes him no longer than five more moments to add "Well, other than the fact that you are wearing my shirt."
"I knew it!" She gloats. "There will always be that little thing that will irritate you."
"I just don't like it when other people are wearing my clothes." He protests, and Andy already pulls the garment over her head and throws it onto the sofa ungracefully.
"Better?" She asks, standing in the middle of his kitchen wearing nothing but a matching pair of black lace bra and underwear.
His eyes skim over her body, and he licks his lips as he confirms "So, so much better. I made you a smoothie."
"Of course you did." Andy laughs. "But can I just get my coffee first?"
"Not until you try some." He insists, and she huffs as he serves her one of the two glasses filled with the thick liquid. She sips, the cold and sweet substance hits her taste buds immediately.
Robert looks at her, waiting eagerly to hear her verdict, and as she nods her head and says "Good" he puffs his chest up and his whole face lights up, self pride filling every part of him.
"Now can I have my coffee, please?" She almost begs.
"I have a better idea." As he pulls out a teaspoon and heads over towards her, a mischievous look on his face, Andy can almost read the thought that is going through his mind.
"Oh, no, no way." She refuses, stepping backwards until the back of her legs hit the isle in the middle of his kitchen. "You are not dripping any of this sticky drink on me, no way in hell, not after I just had a shower." She would have tried to run, to flee his plan, but he is taller and faster than her, and she knows fighting him is a lost cause.
He still smiles at her like a naughty school boy as he lifts her up with one arm and props her on the cool marble surface. Then he takes the smoothie and drips a bit of it down her neck. He ducks in quickly, catching the sweetness between his lips, licking her clean.
The action makes her laugh, a chuckle coming from deep in her belly, a place from which a surge of attraction comes as well. He does it again, and by the third time she is aroused, there is no denying that.
And she feels another thing, a sequence of three small words with huge meaning. She is not ready to say them yet, they don't quite fit in the new romance that just started to rise between them, but they are there nonetheless, always present between them, and she will be able to mouth the words sitting on the strings of her heart out loud eventually.
When he drips a bit more in the valley between her breasts, and ducks his head again to reach that exact point that makes her toes curl, something inside of Andy ignites again.
She feels alive.