CHAPTER 5
Of Friends

When morning came, Andromeda's dormmates were surprised to see they had earned a visitor in the night. No one dared wake the sisters up and both rose much after everyone else. They probably would have slept through breakfast if Narcissa had not come storming into the room to jump on their bed, complaining loudly that they had not invited her to the pyjama party. Bellatrix nearly threw her across the room as she woke up and by then, the few curious onwatchers standing around had all left hurriedly before they could get caught up in her infamous anger. A second later, however, Bellatrix was cackling with laughter alongside her youngest sister, while Andromeda watched them fondly.

The three of them arrived together in the Great Hall and together, they ate. The Slytherin table welcomed them with many a whisper and many a glance, to which they paid no attention. Even Rita Skeeter's extraordinary nosiness could not distract them from their good mood.

As they left, long after and late for class, Liantris swiftly sneaked to Andromeda's side and put an arm around her shoulder. She did not like the contact but let him be, knowing very well that any rejection would be taken by him as a plea for more teasing.

'It seems you girls are friendly once more,' he said.

Andromeda could not help a smile. 'We never were not.'

Liantris rolled his eyes. 'Clearly,' he drawled, unconvinced. 'Anyway, love, who are you going to Hogsmeade with?'

Andromeda shrugged. She had assumed she would be going with her sisters. That was what they had promised, the first week back. But in the meantime, Bellatrix had received Rodolphus's letter and they had not talked about it again. Suddenly uncomfortable, she decided to stir the conversation into her hands. 'Is that a proposition?'

Liantris made a face. 'Get over us, Andromeda, dear' he said. 'I was going to ask you to go with my sister.'

Andromeda raised her eyebrows, surprised. 'I'm sure Margaret Greengrass has an army willing to accompany her.'

Liantris shook his head. 'She has friends,' he said. 'But that's not the problem. Her friends are nice and all, but they are not in.'

'In?'

'This world is ruled by a very small circle of power,' said Liantris pompously. 'Those inside the circle are the masters. Those outside of it, are the slaves. If my sister continues to walk outside the circle, she will end up a slave. A privileged slave maybe, but a slave nonetheless. I'm just looking out for her.'

'Then why don't you invite her to join you and your friends?'

'I do. She doesn't listen,' he replied. 'But you being her friend and not her annoying older brother, I'm sure she would be thrilled to join you.'

Andromeda took a second to think. 'I don't know about that,' she said, realising she did not know all that much about Maggie.

Liantris laughed, then, in a softer voice, he added: 'Just trust me. I need her to make friends amongst the right people. You understand that don't you?'

She nodded. Of course she did. Such was the doctrine upon which she had been raised, though she had never really thought on it before. Maggie Greengrass might have belonged to one of the richest and most ancient noble families there was, she remained, unfortunately, a Ravenclaw, and therefore not in a position of respect contrary to the rest of her Slytherin siblings. Andromeda realised that being a Black and belonging to the right House had made the necessity derisory. These days however, she felt its burden weight on her more than ever. She wondered when that shift had started. She suspected it had to do with Ted Tonks.

'But Liantris,' she said suddenly, 'my friends are not exactly "in" either.'

She was not lying. Though her family was the closest the wizarding world had to royalty, Andromeda's friends were far from reaching her status: Curtis was a Half-blood and Joy's family was, though rich and respected, known for fraternizing with muggles. Andromeda had made friends of them despite their background, and her family did not mind because from the outside, they were nobodies, living above the limit of tolerable, and therefore inconsequential. As long as Andromeda maintained relationships with people such as the Greengrasses, the Flints and the Rosier, which she did, then no intervention within her friendships would ever need be considered.

Liantris, however, shook his head. 'Andromeda, don't be ridiculous,' he sighed. 'One, they are in because you are. Two, I wasn't exactly thinking of your two puppies, I was talking about your sisters. Narcissa included. She has quite the court tailing her, doesn't she?'

Andromeda did not pretend to reply and simply pushed his arm off her shoulder before making a swift turn. Liantris, probably used to her quick and wordless escapes, did not seem offended. Watching her leave, he called after her. 'So what do you say?'.

Andromeda hesitated before giving in. She liked Maggie and her brother being annoying, she decided, should not be cause to punish her. 'I'll think about it,' she replied sincerely before heading off to her next class.

oooOOOooo

At lunch, she slid next to Bellatrix at the Slytherin table.

'Bella,' she said. 'We are going to Hogsmeade together, the three of us, right?

On Bellatrix's other side, Andromeda saw Sophie freeze and glance their way.

Bellatrix shook her head. 'Just go with your friends, Andy. That's what friends are for.'

'Bella…'

'Even Cissy told me she was excited to go with hers. We don't need to be together 24/7…'

'I know that…' said Andromeda impatiently, 'I just —'

'You have friends, don't you?'

Sophie dropped her fork and it clinkered against her plate.

'Oops…' she mumbled.

Andromeda clenched her fists. She took a long breath, considered opening her mouth for a retort, but realised that she would not be able to say a word without losing her temper. So she turned towards her plate and said: 'I want a sandwich.'

She knew Bellatrix and Sophie were looking at her like she had gone mad but she ignored them, and sure enough, the content of Andromeda's plate soon disappeared, to be replaced by a tuna and eggs sandwich.

'We can do that?' whispered Sophie.

Andromeda stood up, grabbed her lunch, and walked out of the Great Hall in calm, dignified strands.

'Andy!' called Bellatrix.

Andromeda did not bother to look at her.

oooOOOooo

'You're here early,' Joy said, sounding extremely pleased.

Andromeda looked up from her sandwich. She had come to the Quidditch pitch straight from the Great Hall and had installed herself on one of the lowest benches of the stands, waiting for everyone to arrive for the Slytherin try-outs. They had not been long, then again, she was so lost in thought she would not have felt time pass. In fact, she had been so absorbed in her anger that she had forgotten about her sandwich until the team was already there.

'I'm never late to anything,' she said, gulping down her food.

'You were late to class this morning.'

'I'm never late to anything important,' she corrected.

Joy laughed. She was wearing the green and silver uniform of the Slytherin Quidditch team and held a brand new-looking broomstick in her hand.

'What's that?' asked Andromeda, pointing at the broom.

'Cleansweep Six,' Joy replied pompously. 'Came out this summer.'

'Ah,' said Andromeda, because she knew next to nothing of Quidditch and broomsticks. 'What about your Comet?'

Joy sighed and looked dramatically into the distance. 'It served me well all those years but alas, its time had come…'

'Poor thing,' said Andromeda with a smile, making Joy giggle. 'Anyway, we're going to Hogsmeade together next weekend.'

Joy looked surprised. 'We are? I thought you were going with your sisters.'

Andromeda hid her irk behind a mask of indifference. 'Why? We don't need to be together 24/7.'

Joy bit her lip, unconvinced, but said nothing other than 'Yeah, I guess…'

'Joy!' called Paloma Jones in the distance. 'Captain requires your presence!'

'Woop, gotta go!' exclaimed Joy, running away with a wave goodbye.

'Good luck!' Andromeda called after her.

She watched as her friend hopped onto her broom, kicked the ground, and flew into the clear blue sky.

It was now the end of September and the beginning of autumn. Soon, most days would be a soft breeze in the morning, heavy clouds holding rain over their heads and red leaves covering moist earth like a tender blanket. Andromeda loved autumn the most; she loved sipping warm chocolate as the rain poured outside, contemplating the slow descent of the old red leaf, breathing in the soft and warm smell of moist grass and muddy earth. Back home, she would plant herself on the covered terrace of the manor and wait eagerly for a downpour.

On one of those occasions, Bellatrix, holding a weeping Narcissa by the hand, had come to her. 'What is it?' Andromeda had asked, hurriedly taking Cissy's other hand between her own.

Bellatrix, had looked at her with a solemn expression on her eleven-year-old face. 'She had a fight with the Bulstrode girl,' she had said, crunching her nose. 'What was her name, again?'

Narcissa had sniffed loudly as a weak 'Eliza' escaped her lips. It was sad, seeing her this way. Narcissa had always been Andy's little bit of sunshine when the manor felt dark and enclosed. She hated seeing her little sister in pain.

'It's all right, Cissy,' she had said. 'You have us, you know that.'

Cissy had nodded. Of course she knew that. How many times had Bellatrix insisted on it; that they had each other, forever. Even their parents had told them repeatedly that as sisters, they had to rely on and trust each other. Still, Narcissa had been unhappy. Andromeda had looked up at Bellatrix, for help and for advice, but her eyes had been met only with the frighteningly focused glare of her older sister who had asked : 'Why must you be so upset Cissy?'

Both Andromeda and Narcissa had looked up, shocked. 'What do you mean?' Andy had asked.

Bellatrix had looked nearly angry then. 'I mean that it's not like any of us has real friends. I don't have a real friend, Andromeda neither and not even you, Cissy. And maybe we can't have friends anyway because, remember who we are? We are the daughters of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. We can't be like other people. We can't be like those people who laugh with their dad and complain because their mom fusses over them. Our dad spends all his time in his office and never calls us by our names. Our mom spends all her time in her room and only treats us as annoyances. Don't you see? We don't and won't ever have friends! Not even our parents care about us! Our nannies and all our staff left us! We only have each other, Cissy, Andy. We can only trust each other. Because we are the only ones who we know for sure won't abandon us. We are each other's only friends and the only friends we will ever have!' Bellatrix had said loudly over the rumbling sound of the pouring rain. It was the first time, that afternoon, that she had made them this speech, but it would not be the last.

Cissy had cried harder after it. Andromeda had stayed very still and very silent for very long. Bellatrix had looked at them with that fervent light in her eyes; a light like a fire of hope and despair, relief and pain.

Before they knew it, Andromeda and Cissy were repeating it left and right alongside Bellatrix. 'We can only trust each other', they whispered between themselves, 'We only have each other', 'We don't have friends', 'Nobody really cares about me expect for my sisters,' they thought. And Andromeda had believed it. They all had. But it seemed like the other two did not anymore.

Andromeda felt lonely now.

She looked for Joy amongst the flying figures on the pitch and found her hovering in the air near a silhouette she recognised as Paloma. They seemed to be talking excitedly about something, Quidditch no doubt. Behind her, on the stands, Annie was reading a book and Curtis was laughing with his dormmates.

How many of them were her friends?

With Paloma, she had nearly nothing in common. She did not dislike the chaser and did call her a friend, but she had that nagging feeling that should Paloma and she have been in different Houses, they would not have gotten along. They were Slytherins and roommates; of course they would find a way to coexist nicely in the same space.

Anne Fawley she had known since before Hogwarts, the Fawley family being Sacred Twenty-Eight. Rather, Andromeda had met Annie before Hogwarts, because she had never really gotten to know her. Annie was... peculiar. She kept to herself most of the time. Her eyes trembled and her hands shook when others talked to her. She always averted her gaze, said the weirdest things at the weirdest times and laughed too loud when it was not comfortable. She made Andromeda feel uneasy. She made Andromeda feel sad too, and guilty. Annie, generally, was not treated badly in the Slytherin House, but Andromeda had never found it in her to be the bigger person and talk to her — a real talk — and befriend her.

Then of course, there were Joy and Curtis. Andromeda truly cared for them. Or had. She cared for Joy and her undying energy, and her readiness to help, and that great capacity she had at getting excited over things, and getting attached to things, and getting angry for things... but she always had to ask herself: how long would this last? Curtis had so easily lost his place in her heart after years of being one of her closest friends, who was to say that Joy could not cast Andromeda aside just as easily. Or maybe it was Andromeda who, one day, would realise she did not like her anymore.

She struggled to call them friends because how long would it be before she realised that really, they were nothing to her, and she was nothing to them? What even was she to them now? A source of influence. A guarantee. A pedestal. She was a Black, after all, and Slytherins were bred for cunning and ambition.

Huh, thought Andromeda bitterly. Adults have moulded this House to doubt even the concept of friendship. Cunning and ambition they said... When she had been eleven, sitting with Bellatrix in the Common Room for the first time, all she had seen was strong loyalty, fierce determination, a drive, and a streak for laughter. What was serious was serious, what was not was not. That was the Slytherin House she had known. But now, like everyone else, she found herself looking out for the cunning and ambition.

She dared not share her deepest secrets with anyone but Bellatrix. Sometimes, when she felt it was not too much of a burden, she would share with Cissy too. Joy and Curtis, however, were never told secrets of much importance to Andromeda. Then again, Andromeda had grown to cultivate secrecy. It was for security of course, so that no one — and by no one she meant no one within the Black Family — could ever be hurt or pained or betrayed in any way. It was safest not to share. They were Blacks, after all, and Blacks were a source of jealousy, and jealousy brewed enemies.

She had other people in her life. She had Sophie, she had Liantris, she had Maggie. But she felt like none of them could fundamentally understand her and her experiences. There were her numerous cousins, but those were the children of her mother's siblings, and Andromeda and her sisters barely ever saw them outside of Hogwarts. The cousins she saw were Sirius and Regulus, Aunt Walburga's sons, and still too young to be anybody's friends.

No, really, Andromeda only had her sisters and she did not doubt her sisters knew that. What she did doubt now was that they were in the same position as she was. They could be without her, it seemed. She could not. She had been agonising over one measly Muggle-born while Bellatrix was still hiding much more important things from her.

But Andromeda did not want to be alone. Andromeda did not want things to change.

That evening, the dormitory was full of life. Joy and Paloma had passed the try-outs with flying colours. Then again, the fourteen-year-old team captain, Steve Laughalot, might well have been a young Quidditch prodigy, he was still an impressionable kid who would rather play with a team he was familiar with.

And although Andromeda smiled and laughed and played with the other girls, she did not feel happy. She felt sad and betrayed and she felt afraid of losing her sisters.