A/N: After posting this, I had one little part that bugged me and screamed for days to be changed. Nothing too major, the story is still the same, I just felt there should have been a deeper emotional moment for Jon voicing himself.

Chapter 3

They finished off the second bottle of wine and working on the third as they chatted, looking out at the shimmering water, noting the slight chill in the air and clouds moving across the stars. "I think it's going to rain tonight." Trip thought aloud.

"Will that be a problem for us out here?" Jon asked with a little concern.

"I don't think so, but I'll keep an eye on the weather reports just in case something changes. We can make it back to shore in about 30 minutes if it gets too bad. How did you like the dinner?"

Jon chuckled. "I had three big bowls of linguine, didn't that tell you something? Truthfully, it was so good I wish I had another stomach just so I could eat more!"

They both went into a laugh, then it happened. Jon's heart started pounding hard as he watched Trip's hand slide onto his knee and began moving up his thigh.

The world went into slow motion as Trip began to lean towards him, the soft, warm lips making contact with his own. Jon wasn't sure what to think as part of his brain screamed No! Don't let this happen! You can't! While the other part softly whispered. It's alright. You know this is what you want. There's nothing wrong with it, it's natural, it's right.

Jon closed his eyes as the world came to a grinding halt, giving into the whisper as he allowed the man to kiss him, returning his own kiss. He felt his body react under this man's touch, felt the tremble deep inside of him. Then he felt the hand slide higher up his thigh until it was gently stroking between his legs. The world suddenly began to move at warp speed.

=Present=

Hoshi let out a slow "Awww. That's just so romantic! Trip cooking for you, your first kiss under the stars. So sweet."

Jon was greatful he left out the part about how far Trip's hand had traveled, and the fact that he was still fighting the denial of being gay.

Trip chuckled. "Not so sweet, Hoshi. As soon as I kissed him, he threw up!"

"Are you serious, captain? You threw up?" Hoshi howled in disbelief.

Jon chuckled as he nodded his head. "It's true, I did."

Travis snapped his fingers in an ah-ha moment. "It was the clams, wasn't it? There was something wrong with the clams!"

Jon shook his head in embarrassment. "It wasn't the clams."

=Memory=

Trip sat in a mild shock watching Jon hanging over the railing, where he had run to, as the contents of his stomach dumped into the ocean. Jon wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, turning his head away to avoid any visual contact with the other man before bolting below deck.

Now alone on the deck, Trip wiped a hand down his face. "Great. Good job idiot." He sighed hard before getting up.

Jon ran to the head, splashing cold water on his face before taking in a mouthful of water, swishing and spitting, then followed up with long gargling of mouthwash.

He heard the footfalls on the wooden deck above him, trembling a little as he worried what might come next. Would Trip berate him for his reaction to being kissed? Would the young blonde be angry, accusing him of leading the man on?

Jon had a sinking feeling. Had he led the young man on? No! No of course you didn't! His mind screamed at him. He thought for a moment longer. He did suggest spending the 2-week vacation alone with him, but he didn't know the man was gay when he made the suggestion...did he?

Oh sure, there were times he had caught Trip glancing at other men...glancing at him even, but that didn't mean anything. Jon thought some more, Jon always was the touchy-feely type, a squeeze of a bicep here, a clasp on the shoulder there, sometimes a hug in celebration or just as friendship. Maybe the hand on a bicep lingered a second or two longer than necessary, or a hug tighter than what it needed to be, but still didn't mean anything.

Ok, ok...maybe he did sneak a glance or two at Trip in his yummy tight Speedos over the last couple days, but that doesn't prove anything. Then accidentally walking in on the man while he was changing clothes. Maybe he could have looked away a little faster? Oh. My. God! I DID lead him on! How could I be so dense?! Wait! YUMMY tight Speedo? What the hell?

Jon snapped from his thoughts when he heard the clicking of the anchor raising. He rushed out of his guestroom to the upper deck, looking around he spotted Trip at the helm. Rushing towards the man, he called out. "Trip? What's going on, what are you doing?"

Trip didn't turn to look at Jon. "Taking us back to shore. I figure you might be more comfortable in a hotel...away from me."

Jon reached around, slapping at the anchor control, once again lowering it. "Don't be ridiculous, Trip. The plan was that we'd spend the whole time out here. I'd prefer that to a hotel room."

Trip now spun to look Jon square in the eyes. "You don't have to pretend with me, lieutenant commander. I know it would be too awkward for you to stay out here on the water alone, with me. Look, I'm sorry about that, and if you put me on report for my inappropriate actions...I guess I understand, sir."

Jon huffed. "I'm not going to- I mean you didn't- that is to say, I guess I- you know what...I think it's past time I got a few things out of my head. Come with me, lieutenant." Jon turned and walked back to the seating area on the deck as Trip joined him.

Trip didn't say anything, just sat while Jon figured out what he wanted to say, giving the older man as much time as he needed.

Jon looked down at his hands and finally decided the best way to start was at the beginning. "Ok, so you know about my dad, at least the public image of my dad, but there were things about him that's not known in the public eye. He wasn't as progressive or forward thinking as people believe. Trip...I've always had to be careful around my father when it came to certain things...like my attraction to men."

"I always made sure that I dated women, even though I had to fantasize about a man when...well...you know." He blew out a breath. "I guess it goes back to when I was around 9 or 10. My dad took me to the beach one day and while we were there, a couple of girls walked by, lesbians. They weren't doing anything, just holding hands, but my father went on this rant about how disgusting it was and that they should be ashamed to act that way in public."

"When I was in high school, there was a guy on my basketball team. We were good friends, and I never really gave it much thought to the fact that he was gay and open about it. Anyway, I invited him and a few others on the team to my house one afternoon to hang out. Chad made a comment about his boyfriend in front of my dad, and after the guys left, my dad yelled at me for being friends with a "degenerate", saying that I wasn't allowed to hang out with him any more, and that his parents should disown the little...well...I pretty much heard every derogatory word used for a gay person. The next day my dad had me pulled from the team."

"Even after my father died, I still feel like I have to be careful. What would people think of me, of him, if they knew the son of Henry Archer is a…"

Trip looked at him mournfully. "Jon, your father had archaic views about sexuality. That way of thinking died out in the 21st century. There's no shame in being who you are or who you're with. As long as each of you are happy, that's all that matters. Can you honestly say that being with any of those women made you happy? Can you honestly say that being with any woman will ever make you happy?"

Jon shook his head. "No. I can't say that there's ever been a woman who actually turned me on. It was always fake, a façade, to make my father happy. Oh god, Trip." Jon collapsed into Trip's arms, holding tight while sobbing.

Trip wrapped his arms around Jon, running his hand through the dark hair. "Shh. I know, it's ok. I know. Jon...Jonny, you have nothing to feel ashamed about, your father should have never made you feel ashamed for being who you are, you can say it, it's ok."

Through the sobs, Jon quietly spoke what he had always known, always afraid to voice as it would go against everything his father would hate for his son to be. "Trip, I'm...I'm gay. I'm gay."

"I know." Trip whispered back. "I know, it's ok Jonny, let it out, let it all out."

As if on cue, the sky opened up and a downpour of rain fell on them. To Jon, it was cleansing, a baptismal, washing him anew.