Disclaimer: Hell Park belongs to Chickenstab, the cover belongs to Evilfeather, none of us own South Park.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, CRAIG!?" Stan screams.
The group are still running for their lives, getting near the bridge.
"Why are there demons chasing us!"
Craig retorts, "They came from the ouija board, I don't know, man!"
"How do you not know?! It's your fault I almost fucking died back there, asshole!"
"He was getting choked out pretty hard, dude." Kyle adds.
"Hey I saved you! Stop pinning this all on me!"
"You're the one who kept playing with the ouija board after we left!" Stan snaps, "What were you thinking?!"
"I WASN'T THINKING, I WAS HIGH. WE ALL WERE! You were the one who said it was all bullshit anyways, don't try and act like you ~knew~ this would happen!"
"You let a revenge-hungry maniac out!"
"Oh yeah? Why does he want you so bad, huh? Answer me that! What did you do that pissed off so much that he wants to kill us all but mostly you!?"
"That's none of your business–"
Kenny cuts in, "Oh my god can you guys PLEASE stop fighting. The guy flipped a car over and almost killed Stan, and you're arguing about who's more at fault?"
The boys slow down.
"Do you think we lost them bro?" Clyde looks behind them.
"I don't know…" Token looks down the dark street behind them, "I mean he wrecked my whole car, I can't imagine what else he could do."
Cartman whines, "I really want these guys to stop chasing us around, I'm not like some… some olympic runner or anything!"
Silence. "I… I think we're safe…" Token lets out a sigh of relief, "Guys, I think we're okay…"
"Oh thank god… buhhhhghghubuuuuu…" Clyde collapses to his butt.
Kyle sighs, "What do we do now–"
Tendrils shoot up from the hill and slam down onto the street. A loud, demonic voice screams at them, "GET BACK HERE!"
Token yells in terror, "OH WAIT NO NO WE'RE NOT WE'RE NOT OKAY NO NO NONO–"
"AAAAABBGFHFHDBFDGHBGFHDBBBUUUUUUUUUHHBHB" Clyde books it.
"YOU ALL THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THE PROBLEMS YOU'VE MADE?" Gregory screams.
"YES!" Cartman screams back.
"YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET EVER FORGETTING ME."
"Dude where the hell are we running," Craig shouts as they all go back to running, "We're not gonna get away from this guy!
"Jesus, is that the bridge up ahead already?" Kyle comments in between his pants, "How fast have we been running?"
"M-maybe if we cross it he won't be able to pass!"
"That's so fucking stupid dude," Stan snaps, "What makes you say that?!
"I DON'T KNOW STAN," Craig pulls the sides of his chullo, "WE'RE ALL KIND OF ABOUT TO BE CRUSHED TO DEATH BY A BRITISH GUY WITH TENTACLE HANDS, EXCUSE ME FOR NOT MAKING MUCH SENSE–"
Kenny yells, "W-wait– who's that on the other side of the bridge?"
The group stops at one end of the bridge.
Stan narrows his eyes, "Why does… That looks like…"
Craig pales, "Oh no… not him…"
At the other end of the bridge, Pip waves at them. "Tally ho!"
Stan plops his face in his hands, "Dude what the hell is going on, what did you do?!"
"I said I don't know– I… I…"
"Oh lovely, it's enough for a whole tea party now!" Pip cheers across the bridge, "And there's more of my old friends here, too!"
Stan shouts, "We can't hear you from over here."
"How splendid!" He clasps his hands together in matrimony, "The only one we're missing now is…" He taps his chin with a finger.
"ESTELLA! STOP THEM!"
"Oh right!"
"E-Estella?" Token repeats.
Stan grabs Token and starts shaking him, "STOP MAKING UP WORDS, STUPID!"
Craig pulls Stan away, "C– Come on let's just book it past Pip!–"
"W… wait–" Token points to Clyde, "Clyde…?"
Clyde's eyes were purple, and he looked so dazed and hunched over.
"…Clyde… what's wrong with your eyes…?"
Craig goes up to Clyde, "…C-come on… we need to–"
"Oh…" Clyde begins, "Will you shut up for a second, you garnish of a cow's excrement."
"...Cow's excrement?"
"It took him long enough… I'm beginning to hate the stench of hair gel and wotsits… Not that I ever enjoyed it all before, anyways…"
"Dude," Stan asks, "what are you going on about."
"But as I've always done, I put up with the wretched stench of another deformed monkey's scrotum that calls himself a man." He smiles, "Now there's six more to deal with."
Token frowns, "Clyde, knock it off. You're freaking us out."
"I'm freaking you out?" He smirks, "Oh well that's a shame now, isn't it? Your puss-filled elephant's foot of a friend isn't here right now, sorry to say. And very soon, none of you will be."
"Dude, what is your problem?" Craig asks.
"Oh, my problem? My problem is that this swollen, decaying fistula ratted me out. Ratted all of us out.
"He what?" Gregory asks.
"Yes, I heard it from the latrine. While this 'Clyde' fellow was having a break down in a piss-soaked petrol station washroom, his friend over here was raving all about us to the Devil's son himself."
Token blinks, "Wh– He asked me! Clyde, what the hell are you talking about–"
"Shut your mouth!" Clyde snaps, "I'm not Clyde, and I won't even so much as thank you to call me as such. We were meant to bide our bloody time. Supposed to escape silently through your brainless meat stick of a friend's portal. But now we can't be so silent. So dumb as to contact anybody through a ouija board, you truly do deserve everything I'm about to do to you."
Pip flies behind Stan, and whispers with a tip of a hat, "Nice to see you, old friend. Sorry to see our reunion couldn't have been under better circumstances." He giggles.
Thomas wrings his hands, "Y-you know, we really don't need to do this… W-we… I mean we could–"
Gregory stops him, "Thomas, I've told you. Keep your input to yourself. These issues are much greater than your feelings."
"D-dude…" Token breathes, "Whoever you are… We're not here to hurt you guys. We… we were high, did some stupid stuff, and forgot about it the next day."
"Oh yes, you'd think that ignorant, wouldn't you." Clyde growls, "You shredded bits of bloodied placenta have no clue the sorts of things you lot have done, have you? Maybe not to me, but it really just gives me a reason for all of the things I'd like to do to you. Not that I'd hesitate either way."
Gregory puts a hand to Clyde's shoulder. "Then would you just get on with it already, Estella?"
Clyde grumbles, "Impatient scrotal sac of a decrepit old man." He sighs, "I suppose I've dwelled within this grotesque husk long enough…"
"Wait, what are…" Token's eyes widen, "What's happening–"
Arms burst from Clyde's back
Gregory smirks, "I didn't even know you'd gone off and squealed so soon. Here I thought I really wouldn't have to hurt any of you…"
"You–"
Craig finishes for Token, "You guys killed Jimmy!"
"They what?!" Kyle cries.
Gregory growls in frustration, "I told you, that was a miscalculation."
"D… Damien told me we all deserved it!" Token snaps.
"Well, maybe you do, seeing what you've done." Gregory simply says.
"What have we done?!" Craig also snaps.
Stan yells, "Get your head out of your ass, Gregory!"
Kyle pales, "Oh my god what is coming out of Clyde's back."
Cartman gags a little, "Grody, what the fuck."
Gregory chuckles, "Oh, I'll tell you who's coming out–"
A torso snaps out of Clyde's back, "No, you won't." It says. "Let's get this over with."
She steps out of the back and kicks Clyde down onto his face. He is unfazed, eyes still purple.
(The Bridge by Extraballz)
She brushes off her dress and adjusts her big black hat. Her clothing was old fashion, almost like something out of the Victorian era.
Token hurries to Clyde and starts shaking him, "Dude! Clyde snap out of it!" Clyde's eyes turn back to normal, but he falls back down to the ground unconscious.
"Shit!" Token glares at the woman, "So you were inside him the whole time!?"
"That's… Sick." Craig says in either disgust or wonder.
The woman, Estella, just sneers. She snaps her fingers and Clyde is back on his feet.
"Now let's get rid of these balless donkeys." Estella commands.
"Yes ma'm~" Gregory's tendrils return.
Estella snaps her fingers again and Craig and Token's eyes sink into a deep purple just like Clyde's. Gregory grabs the other four boys and holds them up in the air, squeezing the daylights out of them.
Tweek and Thomas watch in fear. What should they do? Let Gregory and Estella kill their "friends", or save them and probably get in deep trouble.
The hypnotized boys swing their legs over the bridge's railing.
Save them!
Tweek jumps in front of Estella, grabs her and makes her do a spin, Making her lose her concentration on the three boys.
The trio snap out of it, the purple gone. Estella pushes Tweek to the ground and kicks his leg. "You piece of penguin shit what the hell are you doing?" She snaps. "No matter. Pip, come here."
Pip skips up to her, his little wings fluttering. "Yes, Estella?"
She snaps her fingers in his face and his eyes turn to that shade of violet.
Craig has separated from the other two and stands before Estella and Pip. He gulps, "Just leave us alone already! What's the point of killing us off anyways!?"
Pip reaches towards Craig, his cheery grin a more demonic one. Estella was holding him back. She simply scoffs and let's him go. Pip's mouth recedes back over his face, muscle and teeth exposed. He pounces.
CHOMP
Thomas' body drops to the floor, his face bitten clean off. Estella face palms, letting go of her connection with Pip.
Pip wipes his normal mouth with his sleeve, "Oops! So sorry, Tommy!"
Craig stares at this new gruesome sight. Thomas was now dead. Right in front of his eyes. He… Saved him. He noticed Estella and Gregory were starting to argue.
"DON'T YOU TELL ME I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH," Estella shouts in Gregory's face. His tendrils drop the four boys as she starts screaming into his face. "How about you don't yell at me!" Gregory shouts back.
Immediately Tweek hurries to Craig and pushes him forward, "Come on! Move! Move!"
All the other boys quickly follow and they run off the bridge.
They finally stop running right when they are at the other edge of town.
Tweek goes back to pulling his hair, "Guys– guys, I'm so sorry for what happened back there, seriously. Hhhhoh my god I never wanted it to get like this, even though I knew it would I just knew it, none of them can ever just let things be normal, or– or simple, or–"
Kenny glares at the demon, "Dude… shut up."
Craig inhales, "Give us a fucking second to breath," exhales, "Holy shit."
Kenny has a realization, "Hey wait… isn't this that new kid?"
"Y-yeah– yeah…" Token answers.
Kenny gives Tweek a deadpanned look, "Why can't we ever have anything normal happen in this town…"
"Seriously, I'm so sorry– it was never meant to–" Tweek yammers, but Craig yells at him. "Dude, shut up! Since the moment you came around, everything's been fucked up. I can't even think straight without hearing some bullshit voices, or seeing one of my friends die!" He grips his hat, "You let Thomas… I…" He falls silent.
Kenny puts a hand on Craig's arm, "Are you gonna be okay, Craig?"
He swats his hand away, "Fuck no I'm not gonna be okay!"
"Hhhghhg–" Tweek says, "We– we're all okay! Everything's safe now, they're not gonna follow us–"
"Tweek," Token snaps, "It doesn't matter if you pushed us to safety, you lied to us! You told us, right to our faces– like on several occasions– that you weren't a demon!"
"I'm not a demon!"
"Oh yeah, that's real convincing, buddy." Craig coldly growls.
"I swear it! I'm just an imp!"
"Dude, what are you even talking about?" Token points to Tweek's extra appendages, you have the horns and the wings and stuff!"
"Trust me, a demon is a totally different thing, I promise you! GHhghgh–" Tweek stomps his goat hoof.
"What are you even talking about?" Craig asks, ready to punch him in his stupid face.
"W-well, for starters, demons don't have legs like mine." He motions to his goat legs, "And being a demon is an earned status, man. You either gotta fall from heaven, or do something really, really fucked up in hell to earn that title. I have nothing to do with any of you guys, I– I barely know any of you!"
"Then why are you here?" Kenny questions.
"Because fucking Gregory and Pip and all of those assholes wanted to get back up to the surface and do whatever the hell it is they've always wanted to do– I don't know, man! They've talked to me for years about what they'd do the moment they could get back onto the overworld. Pip is just going off the goddamn wall or something, he wasn't even originally planning to do everything he's done, I have no clue why he's doing any of this, he's never been like this before, and I– I– hfhhjfhHGHJFHghhjgh…" Tweek successfully pulls some hair off his head. He stares at his fists full of blond locks. He shakes them out of his hands, "But Gregory, Estella, and Thomas, specifically… they've always had a reason to come back up here the moment I knew them.
"Thomas is, like… he's good. He's way too nice. He just wanted to get back to the surface for you guys, apparently. So of course he dies. Of course he does. L-like, he'll be back, sure, but man… he did not deserve that shit, man… And Estella is freaking the fuck out just because she wants to, I don't even think she's ever said a word about any of you. Do you guys even know her? Ugh– it doesn't matter."
Stan raises his hand. "Hey, I have a question? I have a fucking question hello?"
"Wh-what…?"
"Why the hell is Gregory a demon? He disappeared when he was like eleven, what could he have possibly done that was so bad that he turned into a demon. And you cannot convince me that asshole went to heaven. No way he did."
"I always hated that guy…" Cartman mumbles.
"Yeah exactly he's an asshole, nobody likes him, see?"
Tweek sighs, "Trust me, I know. He's not a demon either, though. None of anybody you're dealing with are demons."
"Well then what about all the horns and–"
"Look, hell is a fucked up place. And I don't mean, like, it's awful and horrible and hellfire rains from the skies– That shit ended years ago. This new hell, under the son of Satan's reign, is so… messed up, man. Everything's so… nice. And uncontrolled. And there's palm trees, and– Man I don't understand it."
"Then what's the issue?"
"There's nobody around punishing the unforgiven anymore, that's the problem! When the hellbound don't get punished, their emotions fester. They have time to sit there and think about everything that's gone wrong in their life, and there's nothing there to stop their souls from getting super fucking warped. Gregory's been so pissed off for like, years. I've known him for like, a few years but I can tell he's still not over what happened to him. He goes on and on about you, man." He points to Stan, "You. And like, bananas, for some reason…"
Stan gives him a blank stare, "Bananas, huh. You're trying to tell me that you're a good guy, and that Gregory is pissed off at me and bananas."
"I barely listen to him so I don't know the whole story, but… He's pissed off at you, and he's here to get you. I don't know what the fuck you did man."
"This is stupid."
"Yeah, you're still from hell!" Craig points to Tweek threatenly, "You're still fucking up all our lives."
"RRRGH– I'm not trying to fuck up your lives, I'm trying to stop Gregory and his stupid friends from doing anything to you guys!"
Stan slow claps, "Wow, great job so far, you're like a guardian angel. You just stood outside my house while I got choked, dude."
Token hops in, "Why do you care so much about us?"
"Dumb reasons man– Just– Look, let me take you guys somewhere safe. Or– or like. Tell you how to protect yourselves."
"Why should we take advice from you?" Stan glares at the imp.
"Because you've been standing here for the last five minutes listening to my advice, you can stand another minute or two of it, holy shit."
Token glances around, "Where can we even go that's safe at all?"
"Like. Like…" Tweek sighs in defeat, "I don't know. We'll find you guys some place. After we do, I need to get the hell out of here, because they can obviously track me, man…"
"Just why the HELL are we going back into town?"
Estella drags Thomas' body behind her, she rolls her eyes at her partner, "How many times do I need to tell you, you sun-dried scab off a decrepit man's back? We need to devise a plan. What you did back there was foolish, unthought, and I'm fairly surprised nobody has you at the end of a pitch fork yet."
"Oh, so you can try and throw a couple of joe-soap victims off a bridge, but chasing after them is just too out of line, is it?"
"Perhaps chasing them would be fine, if you hadn't crushed everything in your path to get to them; you rough, low hanging moose testicle. My ways would have been efficient– quick and to the point– but somebody had to make a grand show today, didn't they?" She looks around the slightly ruined streets. Light posts fallen over, cars crushed, glass everywhere, all that jazz. "Had fun running around doing whatever you wanted, didn't you."
"I was handling everything just fine, and you know it. Maybe if you were better at possessing that chubby, hairy runt, I could have gotten rid of Stanley from the start."
"I'm not the issue you corpulent, bacteria-ridden rodent carcass!" She snarls, "You know damn well I needed more time to control him than one single day. And you thought you could do everything on your own. You thought," She talks in a mocking high pitched voice, "'Oh, if I don't let that poor old bitch out, I don't ever have to deal with her superior plan ever again! I'm so ridiculously smart!'"
He gives her an offended look, "I do not sound like that!" He regains composure, "Maybe if the others picked up their slack, I wouldn't have had to call you out in the first place!"
"Oh! Oh, I see how it is! If you hadn't let me out, everything would be just sunshine and roses, would it now? Is that what you're saying, you filthy, rancid pustule swell? Is it? If you hadn't left me inside that small testicled man-child, the son of Satan wouldn't know we're out here right now! It's your fault any of this is a problem!"
He jabs a finger at her, "Now listen here, you… youuu…! Rrrg! You better pick a damn side here with what you want! You're the dipsy twat who decided to possess anybody at all, and you think it's my responsibility to take you out of there? Did you want to stay in him or not?!"
"It doesn't matter what I wanted, it–"
"Oh, so now it doesn't matter what you wanted, hmm? Is that what I'm hearing for you now?"
"Oh, quiet you! You plan to improvise if something goes wrong!"
"You can't plan an improvision, that's an oxymoron in of itself!"
"You've ran out of arguments so you nitpick my words instead, huh."
"That's right! Maybe if you weren't so impeccably stupid it wouldn't have gotten to this point."
"You really are a child at heart still. The devil's out there, and he's going to be on our tails, and you choose to do this with your time."
"We're still walking, are we not?! I know he's on our ass! We're awesome at what we do, he'd be a fool not to be!"
"That is true."
Meanwhile
Damian sits back and sips his drink. A colorful hawaiian punch with a few shots in it.
"Hey– you're supposed to be helping people get ready in the make up room." A man tells the antichrist
"What."
"You're supposed to be doing your job, per se."
"I'm on break."
"Break ended five minutes ago."
He eye rolls, "Yeah okay sure. I could send you to hell right now you know.
"Whatever, man." He walks away
Damian gets comfy on his spot, "...God I love doing absolutely fucking nothing."
Back with our two favorite demons
"Is that all, now?" Estella crosses her arms, "Did you get everything out of your system, you dog-feces packed rug on a rotten wooden floor."
"No, not quite." He looks to Thomas' corpse, "Would you mind not dragging the poor sap's corpse across the pavement? All that's going to do is prolong his revival."
"You care about the decency of a corpse, do you?"
"If we're walking through a town full of red-neck, american blokes with shot guns at the ready, then yes. I do. He's also still our friend, like it or not."
She let's go of his leg, "I do not have friends, you silly bleeding heart of a man. You are all nothing more than accomplices."
"Oh I'm sure you think so."
"I know so."
"Y–"
"Shut up." Gregory bends down and picks up Thomas' corpse, flinging him over his shoulder. Estella tilts a brow, "What are you doing with it."
"Carrying him with some decency, you hag."
"I hardly see how carrying it like that will stop very many people from screaming bloody murder, anyways. Honestly, it's a shame you actually have a heart under all of that blubbery skin of yours." She looks to his clothes, "You're going to get blood all over yourself, you know."
"Do not remind me. Why do you think I put on gloves."
"Let's just get somewhere quiet for the night and figure out our next course of action, shall we?"
"Whatever you say," He says with some venom, "Your highness."
"Oh– oh okay, Stan–" He looks at the supposed Stan, "You're Stan, right?"
"yea."
"There's so many of you man…"
"There's like seven of us."
"Would've been eight if Jimmy were still fucking alive." Craig says in a passive aggressive tone.
Tweek sighs. "Man– okay– You said you have a farm?"
"Um yeah you were asking us like places we know I just said it like a minute ago."
"Would Gregory know where that farm is? Or Pip? Or even like. Thomas?" Stan gives a blank look, "Like– would they have known it even existed before they died."
Stan scratches his stubble in thought, "I guess not. I mean like, I never really invited Gregory… or anybody else over or anything if that's what you're asking."
Tweek beams, "Okay, okay that's perfect. That's good. We need to take you guys there."
"To my farm?" Stan tilts a brow. "That sounds pretty sick actually, maybe my dad will let me try some of this season's weed."
"Dude. Is this really the time to think about getting high?" Kyle asks.
"We've had a hard day, dude."
"You almost died, dude!"
"I know dude. That's why I said we've had a hard day dude."
"Can you guys stop saying dude?" Tweek asks with a twitch.
"No. Anyways like, I don't know if my mom would be cool with everybody going there without any warning…"
"Aren't there barns on farms? Can't you guys just chill out in one of those?"
"I mean I guess…"
Kyle eye rolls, "I really don't think it's a good idea to hide out right where your family lives, Stan. What if they find us?"
Stan contemplates it. "Huh…" He thinks about his parents and sister. His dad was addicted to every drug under the sun and drinks like no tomorrow, he does stupid schemes to get some weed or alcohol, and the rare occasion of harder stuff. And his sister has bullied him for almost his whole life. Ever since he was five years old. Thirteen years of suffering. His mom… Well she did cover up a crime he didn't commit.
"What if they find my epic dad and sister. …My dad who's super cool and not lame… And my totally awesome sister who loves me so much…" He nods. "Yeah actually there are many reasons why going to the farm sounds like a good idea all of the sudden."
"Jesus christ, dude you are so fucking evil." Kyle says.
"Awesome!" Tweek cheers, "This is great! You guys can– You can go to the barn, barricade yourself in for the night, get some sleep… You'll be totally safe, they won't know where you are at all."
Kyle squints, "I don't know how much I trust how ready you are to just lock us up in a barn."
"It's for your safety. Okay. I'm just gonna take you all there, make sure you get inside safe, and leave you the fuck alone." He holds out his arms, "Everybody hold hands."
Stan blanchs, "Wuh."
"Everybody hold hands in a circle, we're all almost standing in a circle anyways. Just hold hands with the people next to you."
The boys look to who they are standing next.
"I'm not holding hands with Kenny." Cartman crosses his arms, "I don't wanna catch the poor."
Kenny just eye rolls.
Tweek's eye twitches, "Man what the fuck. Just hold hands, it's not that hard."
"How exactly is holding hands going to… take us there?" Kyle looks at his hand.
Clyde pipes in, "Holding hands is kind of gay bro I mean–"
Fire bursts around Tweek, "Holy shit just hold hands, we don't have all night!"
Immediately everyone takes some hands.
THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP HAVE NEVER BEEN STRONGER
Stan stares to Kyle's hand then to Cartman's, "Okay cool. This is cool. I really wanted to hold hands with Cartman today."
"Eugh Kenny, sick," Cartman gags, "I'm already feeling poorer."
"Man, can we just get this joke over with?" Kyle groans.
"It's not a joke man." Tweek says in full seriousness.
"Okay. Can we get this prank over with?"
Tweek face palms, "Hhhhhrhrhrhrrrrgh…" he slowly slides his hand down his face and drops it. He looks to Craig and Token, "Just– you two– hold my hands."
Craig takes his and Kenny's hand. Quickly it feels like Tweek just set it on fire. He winces. When Token takes the imp's hand, he seems unaffected. Great the imp is trying to torture him. He grinds his teeth. "I just want you to know how much I hate this."
"You realise how sketchy this all sounds, right Tweek…?" Token takes Clyde's hand as well.
"Look man," Tweek gives Token a dead expression, "You guys are making it way sketchier by making this take so long."
"Just… do what you're gonna do. I guess…"
"Thank you. Okay…" He takes a deep inhale.
Pop
Long exhale
"BUHhfgj," Craig yelps.
Token looks, they had indeed appeared in front of Stan's barn. "Woah– How…" He rubs his head, "Wuuuuhh… Oh my god… Please, never do that again…"
Craig was clutching his head as well, looking quite green. "Huuuuuuuuu… oh god my head…"
Kenny simply blinks, looking unaffected. "Wow… That's… A nifty trick you've got… Really would've helped us like… I dunno. A couple hours ago, or…"
Tweek twitches, "Look man, so much shit was happening. I'm just trying to help."
"Okay, then what do you reckon we do next, dude."
"What I 'reckon' is that you all get into this red shack and hide out for the night." He makes a double take on the building, "This is the barn, right? I've never seen a barn before. There's no barns in hell."
"Yea that's a barn." Stan answers.
"Okay great. Everybody get in. And don't, for the life of you, come out for any reason until morning. If you hear someone from outside, don't trust them. Even if they claim to be your friend. Even if they sound like your friend. Don't fucking do it. At that point though you're probably already screwed cause someone's trying to get in. Just don't even make it look like you exist in this barn, I swear." Tweek looks very serious, yet very done with the group.
Stan just ughs. "Jesus dude okay. We get it. We'll stay in the barn or whatever."
"Thank you."
The boys begin to walk into the barn one by one. Craig crosses his arms and grumbles to himself. "This is so stupid. Why are we even listening to this guy…"
Tweek does another sigh.
"Hey Tweek…"
He looks to Clyde. He looked so tired and drained. Slouching still. "Huh?"
"I'm kinda really out of it right now I think." Clyde looks to his hands, "Like I dunno I think whatever that chick back there did to me like… Sucked all the energy out of me or something."
Tweek frowns, "Yeah that sounds about right…"
"But um…" He drops his hands, I just wanted to say. Like. I still don't care that you're a demon… Or an imp… or… whatever you said you were… You have claws and hooves and horns and stuff… I dunno. I still think you're cool either way… I mean… like… Our friend just died… And I know I'm gonna be crying tonight if I don't pass out before I do… But I can tell you didn't want that to happen to us. And I'm sorry everybody else is being mean to you…" He begins to yawn, "Hopefully we can see you later under better… um… I forget the word…"
"Circumstances?"
"Yeah… Under better circumstances."
Tweek stares at him and a smile slowly creeps across his face. A genuine, happy smile. "I hope so too."
Clyde joins the other boys and Tweek vanishes.
Clyde looks around the barn, "So do we just sleep on all of this hay tonight then…?"
"I wouldn't recommend that, dude." Kenny says, "Hay is not as soft as it looks."
"Aw man… Fantasy lied to me again… huuu…" Clyde sits down in the hay.
"Uh, you gonna be alright?"
"Yeah, just tired… and…" He sniffs the air, "Aw… what the… What is that smell…"
Kenny takes a whiff, "Eugh… yeah you're right. Something smells like peanut butter and dog shit sandwiches in here, for real."
"Did something die in here?"
"It's just the ducks dude." Stan interjects. A duck on his lap. Ducks all over the barn really. All in different colors and sizes.
"This is so stupid." Kyle complains.
"Yeah ducks are kinda stupid," Stan pets the duck on his lap, "They kinda rule though too."
"What? No dude, I meant– How are we supposed to sleep in here? Why did he expect us to sleep in here? Didn't he say he didn't even know what a barn was? What the fuck."
"I dunno man. What gets me is like… He just said to stay in here. Like, over night or something. How long do we stay in here?"
Kyle throws his arms in the air, "Exactly! Are we just expected to sit in here for the rest of our lives? How the hell are we supposed to know when we can leave?"
Token leans on a bale, "Do you think we can trust him that much, though? I mean you guys were only there for the latter half of it. He was right there when that other british kid threw Jimmy's body on the ground. Like right in front of us. And he didn't even try and save Craig when we ran off and he didn't make it. I swore he was gonna die too, man. It was so fucked up."
Kenny groans and rubs his temples with his palms, "I don't know what we should do. That's all sorts of messed up." He puts his hands down, "I wanna say we should trust the guy, like. He knows more about this shit than we do, I suppose. But at the same time…"
"At the same time, he could just be tricking us."
"Yeah…"
"And if everything he said back there was true, and he knows Thomas knew Craig before he died… And so he just let that happen, right in front of Craig."
Kenny and Token look to Craig who was staring at the ceiling lying on a pile of hay.
"Do you think he's gonna be okay?"
Token sighs, "I don't know… Like, we've all been through some really messed up stuff today. But Craig's like… Getting hit from every angle, you know? He just seems so messed up right now…"
Kenny shrugs, "Well, you know Craig. He's always a little different. He's not taking this the same way we are. At least I don't think so. I don't really know the whole inner workings of that sorta thing."
"No I get you… I just hope he'll be okay soon. I hope all of us can be okay soon." He sits down on the ground.
The blond joins him, "That's gonna be kinda hard considering everything that's gone on."
"No… yeah… I know… I just…" He sighs in defeat.
"Come on," He playfully punches Token's shoulder, "Let's all just chill out for a bit and figure out what we should do tomorrow."
"Yeah. Yeah okay."
Craig continues to stare at the ceiling. Now that things have calmed down, maybe he should try to recap on these demons and try to think of what has changed and what to do and probably get very sad.
He's never known Tweek before. It was really hard to pinpoint him as "good" or "evil". What kind of name is Tweek anyways?
And he's never met that chick before. Though he thinks he heard one of the demons say she used to be alive. She's a total bitch. End of story. Her and her colorful language of insults.
Now the other three.
Pip… Pip was always so kind to everyone. But he was so gullible. Craig hated him. In elementary school, he would shove Pip in lockers, knock lunches out of his hands, punch him, the works. Then Pip would apologize for what happened saying it was his fault. That just pissed Craig off even more. Even now as a demon, he was still trying to be kinder in a more… Demented way. He was gonna kill him. If it wasn't for Thomas…
Gregory, he was a theatre kid who always had something in his pocket to one up you. Pretentious and know it all, never anything useful to say. Now he has that ooze that comes out of him. Finally something useful. Well… He hasn't really changed. Aside the part of the needed vengeance to murder Stan. What did Stan do?
Lastly Thomas. Thomas… He was missing for a year and a half. He's still- no. He has changed. Why would he be hanging out with these crazies. He would never do this when he was alive. How could he do that to me. To us?!
Craig feels his eyes sting with tears. Maybe this was all his fault. He shouldn't had let his friends play the stupid board game. He shouldn't have continued the stupid board game. He shouldn't have been high doing it!
… Sad? Yes he is.
He turns to look at Token. He was sitting with a duck in his arms. The duck seemed to be enjoying the attention as Token rubs it's little head.
"... Hey, Token."
"Mmhm?"
"What did you mean that guy said we deserve this?"
"Damian? Ah yeah Clyde and I bumped into him at the gas station. Said something about we deserve this and if we need help just give him a call."
"... Sooo shouldn't we call him."
"That would be a GREAT idea, but he didn't give me a number."
"Ugh, can you guys shut up?" Cartman hisses, "It's hard enough sleeping on all this hay without you guys yapping across the freakin' barn all night."
Token glares at him, continuing to pet his duck. "We're trying to figure out what to do next, fatass."
"Cool." Cartman turns over, his back facing the boys, "Do it where I can't hear you guys."
"D'you think…" Clyde practically slurs, "if we got his help. He'd get ridda the demons for us…"
"No, I don't think so. He told me unless we like, literally have a favor from the king of hell, we're pretty shit outta luck. I really wish I had been thinking a little more at that moment, I would've asked him for his number. Even though… he was the one to tell me to call him."
"Well… maybeeeee…" Clyde yawns, "Have you tried jus' typing a bunch of sixes into the phone… Heheh… gettit… 'cause he's like from hell and stuff and… 6… 66… yeah… nice… Jimmy would've laughed at that… I'm sure…" He clocks out.
Token smiles a little, "…Yeah, I bet he would've, Clyde…"
"Guys seriously I'm gonna hurl a bale of hay at you if you don't shut your lovefest soon."
"Go die Cartman." Craig bluntly says.
"So I can come back as a stupid demon like the rest of those losers? No thanks."
Token and Craig just give each other looks. Token pulls out his phone. "Well… I mean I guess it isn't the dumbest idea Clyde's ever had."
"You're seriously gonna try typing 666 into the phone?"
"That or like, ten sixes to make it a proper number."
"Is 666 even a real area code…?"
"Dude, I don't know. What else am I supposed to do right now? I don't suppose anybody in here has his number?"
"Nobody likes hanging around him."
"Exactly. I'm… I'm just gonna try this and see if it works." he dials (666)-666-6666.
Token puts the phone to his ear and hears ringing.
(LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE BEEP by Extraballz)
He hears a click and a high pitch voice says "Beware, foolish mortals, for you have reached the Son of Satan's voice mail! Repent all ye who-" He hears laughter, then a much deeper voice says "You reached Damian Thorn's voicemail. If you're some ass who just typed a bunch of sixes, damn you to hell dude. Anyways I'm probably just busy with work. Or ruling the underworld or doing something way cooler than you. See ya. Leave a message at the beep."
Beep.
"... It went straight to voicemail. I'm not even gonna leave him a message since I doubt he'll even listen."
"Cool." Craig grunts, "A waste of time and battery."
Token rubs his chin, "I guess we could try calling someone like Wendy… She tends to be pretty smart and she'd probably take this seriously if I said I wasn't joking… Or…" Lightbulb, "Oh!"
"What."
"I could call Nichole! I'm pretty sure she said she was hanging out with Wendy and Bebe and stuff tonight." Token dials her number.
"Yeah sure dude, a bunch of chicks can help this situation, I'm sure."
"I'm gonna ignore that comment because I'm sure you're just grumpy right now."
"You're damn right I am, I'm stuck up in a fucking cold, duck-shit filled barn with Stan and his friends."
Token just sighs.
"Oh my gosh, guys, after we're done do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Nichole asks with a smile.
"Sure, I'd be down!" Wendy chimes, "We only have a couple of keypoints left on the syllabus to go through before we're done–" Nichole's phone begins to ring, "Oh! Who's calling you so late in the night, Nichole?"
"Umm…" Nichole picks up her phone, "Oh! It's Token. Can I answer, or are we too busy?"
Bebe gasps, "Ohhhhh my god, Nichole, we're never too busy for Token. Everything he says is super cute, put him on speaker!" She starts to gush.
"Tell him I said hey." Red adds, "But like in a cool way."
Wendy pipes in, "Just try to make it quick, we have school in the morning and we need to get this done before the test!"
"Okay!" Nichole answers the phone and puts it to speaker, "Token? You're up kind of late, is everything okay?"
"Oh my god, Nichole, you have no idea how relieving it is to hear your voice–"
Bebe yells, "HIIIIiiiiii Tokennnnn~!"
"Hey Token." Red simply says.
"…Hi, Bebe… Hi Red…"
"Is everything okay?" Wendy asks.
"I'm fine, I'm fine– Um, well. I'm alive, I guess."
Nichole looks at the phone with a skeptical look, "What do you mean by that?"
"Well, I mean… Some pretty messed up stuff has been happening kind of all night. I'm sort of surprised none of you guys heard anything that was going on outside, you guys were only a few blocks away from it… And god, the sounds that were happening, and how he was following us, I– Th-that doesn't matter."
"Token, sweetie, you're rambling." Nichole says, trying to comfort her boyfriend over the phone.
Bebe snorts. "Yeah just get to the point!" She leans to Red and whispers, "He's so adorable!"
Nichole shushes her and whispers back, "Shut up stop calling my fiance adorable, Bebe!"
"I can't help it!"
"I can hear you all whispering." Token comments.
"Ooooops, the secret's out, hahaha!" Bebe giggles.
"Okay, I'm– I'm sorry I don't have time for jokes right now– I'm just trying to think about how to word this all… jeez…"
"Take your time, it's okay."
Token exhales. "So… Okay, so basically…"
Token recaps everything that has happened for the past over 24 hours. From the ouija board, to the black out, to the new kid, Pip, all the way down to them stuck in the barn.
The girls tried to laugh it off, thinking it's a very elaborate joke or something.
"Are you–"
"Yes!" Token snaps, "I'm super fucking serious! Jimmy is dead, there's people who died ages ago walking around South Park right now, and they're after us. All of us. Craig, Clyde, Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Eric and I. None of us know what to do. I just thought maybe you guys like. I don't know." He sighs, "You guys are capable, I'm not really sure what to do in this situation, I mean I've never had to deal with a friend dying before, especially not l-like this–"
"Oh– oh no, you sound like you're choking up– It's okay, it's okay–"
Bebe stares at the phone with wide eyes, "Oh my god, Jimmy's seriously dead?"
Wendy starts shaking her head, "This all can't be real, can it?"
Red frowns, "Wendy, this is…"
"I know– I– Red. You and I need to get over there. Now."
"Wait, I wanna go too!" Bebe hops up to her feet, "Clyde's there!"
"You can't go, this is way too dangerous!"
"What do you mean?! What makes this more dangerous for any of the rest of us?!"
"Just let them come along, Wendy!" Red exclaims, "It's their boyfriends!"
"You know–"
"We don't know shit! None of us know shit, that's why we're all going."
"I can drive us there," Bebe offers, "we can hop in my bug! I'll get there way faster than your grandma driving will!"
Wendy's brows furrow, "... Fine. Just hurry up and get some shoes and a jacket on."
Nichole smiles at her friends. "Token, honey, we're coming right over. Stan's farm, right?"
"Yeah…"
"That's about an hour out– we'll be there as fast as we can."
"Okay… Be safe."
"I should be saying that to you." Click