Chapter 8

Elsie's mobile phone rang incessantly on her bedside table. She turned in bed, facing away from it and covered her head with a spare pillow to cut off the noise. She tightened the hold on the pillow over her head as the ringing suddenly seemed louder once she was completely awakened by it. For a second she wondered if it was Anna to inform her of some catastrophe at work or another but she banished the thought quickly out of her head. She was drained and utterly exhausted and anyone, whoever it was, would have to wait. She smiled into her pillow when the ringing stopped and wriggled around to get comfortable to fall back into sleep.

But her brief moment of peace was interrupted when the phone began ringing again. She groaned loudly and blindly reached for the phone, knocking her diary off the bed side table. The pillow still covering half of her face, she mumbled a grumpy "Hello" only to be greeted by Beryl, who Elsie thought, sounded excessively cheerful. Too cheerful for that early in the morning.

"Oh Good Morning sleepy head," Beryl chuckled mischievously at the other end and Elsie sighed knowing that Beryl was in the mood for teasing. "Hope I wasn't interrupting anything important."

"Oh bugger off," Elsie mumbled and pushed the pillow completely off her face.

"Someone is in high spirits early morning."

"Beryl!" Elsie warned. She really wasn't in the mood for Beryl's teasing.

"I just wondered how you were. You didn't even drop me a text to say you got back safely. I just presumed that you might have been rather preoccupied."

"I ached all over and fell right into bed," Elsie replied trying to balance her phone against her ear, feeling too lazy to even hold it against her ear.

"With?" she heard Beryl chuckle uncontrollably at the other end.

"Wha'? Elsie asked, her voice heavy with sleep and unable to process Beryl's insinuations.

"I asked whom did you fall into bed with? You are barely functioning this morning young lady."

"Ha bloody ha. God, you are insufferable this morning!" Elsie replied, annoyedly rubbing the back of her hand against her eye. The sheets rustled as she got up and leaned against the head board. She put her phone on speaker and reached for the glass of water with the slice of lemon that she placed on her bedside table the night before.

"Hey what are you doing?" Beryl enquired from the other end, as she listened to the low rustling sounds of sheets and Elsie's silence. "I assume you aren't..."

"Don't you say another word Beryl Mason," Elsie interrupted and having gulped down the water quickly she added, "Just had glass of water with a slice of lemon."

"What the hell is that for?" Beryl's voice betrayed her possible disgust and Elsie imagined how her face must be screwed up in the way that Beryl does.

"Detoxing or something like that. Daisy was the one who told me to try it."

"That girl spends far too much time reading stupid blogs on the internet. Never had you down as someone taking her advice or following those hacks… or whatever they call it."

"I think I mentioned the word 'try.' Besides, I am much more open-minded than you are!"

"Open-minded my… anyway. I am sorry I dragged you into that yesterday I hope you are well recovered now after your… detoxing what-not… for you know…" Elsie heard Beryl chuckle.

"No, as a matter of fact I don't know. Care to enlighten me?" Elsie asked, a sarcastic tone lacing her voice, knowing exactly what Beryl was getting at.

"Old Lover Boy," Beryl laughed and Elsie rolled her eyes.

"Ugh… He has got a name, which I might remind you that you already know."

"Yeah Joe Burns. I know. But I prefer to use Old Lover Boy."

"Why?" Elsie crumpled her face. Joe was nowhere close to being such a name. And his and Elsie's past was not at all like that. "It's just…. I don't know… mildly disgusting."

"Well, you were engaged to him once, weren't you?"

"Well yes but—."

"Then Lover Boy it is!" Beryl exclaimed triumphantly.

"Will you cut that Lover Boy crap for God's sake?" Elsie shouted at the phone. A few seconds passed, silence on both sides. Elsie took a deep breath. Her mind awash with guilt at the tone she took on Beryl. "Look. I… um… I'm sorry Beryl… I shouldn't have—."

"No. No. Clearly you don't—," Beryl sounded hurt and Elsie cut her short. After all it wasn't Beryl it was all her. All Elsie. Doubts. Insecurities.

"I am sorry Beryl. You didn't deserve that and I didn't mean to lash out like that," Elsie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Why did it all have to be so complicated? Why was she overreacting like this? She never overreacts. Well… not always.

"Elsie, love" Beryl began, her voice much softer. In the distance someone humming, Daisy by the sound of it. "I took a step too far, I know."

Elsie leaned heavily against the head board and closed her eyes in an attempt to compose her thoughts, "It's not you Beryl. Honestly. I'm nervous I suppose."

"Nervous? Elsie Hughes nervous? The world really is coming to an end!"

"Well, not exactly nervous. I don't know what it is. I'm just so very confused by all this."

"You know you can tell me anything my dear."

"I don't know. Just forget it."

"Might do you some good to get it out of your system," Elsie heard Beryl smile. "What the hell is happening over there? Daisy! What on earth is that smoke? Are you trying to burn the house down, you daft aperth?" suddenlyBeryl shouted out placing the receiver heavily down on a hard surface, perhaps a table, Elsie guessed.

"You certainly got that out of your system," Elsie remarked, chuckling as Beryl picked up the phone again.

"Don't you start too madam!" Beryl breathed deeply, as the rage cooled down. "That girl would be the death of me, I'm sure!"

"You are too hard on her sometimes."

"Hard on her? She forgot the bloody eggs on the stove when she was tapping away at that dreadful contraption with her bloody air pods on her damn ears! It'll be a matter of time, mark my words, before she burns the damn house down!" Beryl calmed down as her breath evened. "So where was I? Oh yes! Old Lover Boy!"

"Beryl!" Elsie warned. "I thought you'd forgotten about it what with your little outburst."

"Forgotten? Oh never my friend, never!" Beryl chuckled. "I intend to make the most of this opportunity."

"I'm sure you will," Elsie muttered beneath her breath.

"I heard that!"

"Yes, I am quite aware of it."

"You were saying that you were confused," Beryl prompted.

Elsie sighed. It was enough of a mess in her head, all those tangled emotions and doubts and she didn't really feel like making the effort to explain to someone something that she herself barely understood.

"Elsie?" Beryl called out when Elsie went silent at the other end. "Are you still there love?"

"Yes," Elsie answered wearily.

"Well?"

"Well… I'm not sure why I agreed to even meet him. I mean I turned him down so long ago. I was absolutely sure of my decision back then, still am. And why did he turn up out of the blue wanting to get in touch back again?"

"You mentioned that his wife died three years ago…"

"Yes… Ivy."

"I guess it's something to do with that."

"You mean that he intends to propose to me again?" Elsie asked nonchalantly. She had already figured that much out, she merely wanted Beryl view to confirm her suspicions in that regard. It was the rest of it that confused her.

"Well yes. And you don't sound surprised about it, so I'm assuming you that you think so too…"

"Yes, I suppose."

"And?"

"And I don't know, Beryl. I just don't know. I don't know what I am supposed to do, or what I should do. I'm so confused by all of it. I thought I left that life behind when I turned Joe down and left Scotland. But his return, it feels as if… as if that life has come back to haunt me and…" Elsie took a deep breath to calm herself. "I don't know if I should accept him if he proposes and… and whether I even want that life at all."

"You mean being a farmer's wife?"

"Yes, that."

"So do you? I mean, you surely know what it is like. You grew up in the midst of it all."

"Yes I do. Of course I do. And back then I didn't want it. Not in the least. That was why I was so sure about moving away. But for some time now…"

"You've felt rather lonely. Felt that you could do with the presence of a man in your life and now old Lover Boy is coming down from the hills and you're confused whether the life of a farmer's wife is the price you are willing to pay for companionship."

"You sure don't beat about the bush."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Beryl paused. "Care to confirm if I'm right?"

"You are," Elsie mumbled in response, fiddling with the thread that had come loose from the white, linen sheet and absentmindedly nibbled on her bottom lip.

She conveniently left Charles out of the picture. She was attracted to him, there was no doubt about that, and he seemed so too. At least it seemed like that from what she could read. But she had already figured out that Charles was someone who kept to himself. It was hard reading him and Elsie was too careful about wading into unknown waters. There certainly was a distinctive spark between them. It was hard for Elsie to define but they certainly "clicked." She had dated on and off (some of them situations that Beryl had dragged her into) but she didn't feel that spark, that undefinable feeling that she felt last night, just spending time with him, walking, talking and even in the silence. She sensed that he might have been hurt before and he was afraid of getting hurt again, the sudden closeness quickly followed by the cold distancing told her that much. She wondered if he would ever let her in, lower his walls for her, let his guard down and be just… just himself. She was willing to wait. But for how long? And would her waiting come to nothing at the end and leave her with that bitter, cold feeling that she so feared and despised?

Rushing to tell Beryl about it would be of no good. Beryl could spin a myriad scenarios in a spilt second and read more into it than what it actually was. Elsie felt the need to keep it to herself, especially since she herself wasn't so sure what it was between Charles and her and what would come of it.

"You there, love?" Beryl asked when Elsie's mumbled response melted away and silence ensued.

Elsie broke off her train of thoughts with a start, "Yes."

"Well my dear, all I can say is, it's you who's got to decide. It's your decision," Beryl pause and continued in a low voice emphasising her words. "But remember I'm always there for you, be it a shoulder to cry on, arriving with a basket of tacos and a few bottles of wine to drown your sorrows together till neither of us can stand remotely straight or bashing the fella's head in with a good, hard saucepan. On second thought, the cast iron skillet I inherited from my mother-in-law would be much better. Effective, I mean"

Elsie smiled. Beryl's rather crude sense of humour was always a tonic, "Yes, I know. And thank you for that."

"Anytime, love. Anytime."

"Maybe we should do away with the head bashing bit. I don't fancy a sleepover at the police station," Elsie countered and the two broke off into a fit of giggles.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thank you so very much for all your lovely reviews throughout this story. They have been a real encouragement for me to continue this story. Apologies for not being able to update sooner, real life got somewhat in the way. Thank you for being patient with me and sticking with this story. I'll try to update the next chapter as soon as possible. I'd be very grateful if you could let me know in the reviews your thoughts about this chapter and this story. Hope you enjoyed! See you soon with the next chapter!