Say My Name
III.
Bam!
It was the fourth time Shikamaru slammed his head onto the desk.
Why? Why did he have to go and say something that would ruin the night?
He pulled out a cigarette from the newly-opened pack and held it between his lips. He lit the flame and hoped no one would report him for the 'disgustingly cancerous' smell. It was his office, dammit. He could do whatever he wanted.
But to be safe, he cracked open the window.
He watched as puffs of smoke disappeared into the air outside. Only a few seconds passed before a groan escaped from his lips. Shikamaru ran his hand down his face. The events of the previous night kept replaying inside of his mind.
Sakura let go of him. The grin on her face fell when she saw his expression.
"Shika—?"
"Why are you doing this?" He blurted.
"Pardon?" She tilted her head, the strands of hair from her bun dangled on one side.
"I don't understand." He kept going, not really minding whom he was talking to.
"That makes two of us." He could tell from her tone that she was getting angry.
Shikamaru didn't blame her; he wasn't making any sense. He didn't want to keep thinking about the strange sensations he felt whenever she was around. He didn't want to think about when it became complicated or when he came to question every little thing that came from just being next to her. When she hugged him, he felt overwhelmed. Shikamaru never exchanged physical contact with Sakura except for the slight brushing of fingers whenever they handed each other something, or the light touches she gave him whenever she healed his wounds. They had all been bearable before.
But now, just one touch and he felt his skin ignite on fire.
Shikamaru never had a mental breakdown, save for the time his precious sensei had died. This time, he felt his cognitive functioning breaking down and it was because he was experiencing girl issues.
"Are you feeling okay?"
He didn't mean to. But he slapped away the hand that was reaching towards him. He regretted it the second he did it.
The pain in her eyes would stick in his mind for the next few days.
Sakura excused herself after that. When he finally found the sense to go after her, she was already gone. He asked Ino, Naruto and even Lee if they had seen her.
Nobody did.
A knock came at the door. Shikamaru killed the flame from his cigarette and went to greet whomever it was.
He wasn't going to lie; half of him was expecting it to be Sakura coming to tell him that it was time for their meeting with the Hokage and other representatives. The other half wished desperately for it to not be her.
Shikamaru was slightly disappointed but a lot more relieved to find Konohamaru on the other side of the door.
"Hokage-sama wants you, Shikamaru-san!" He saluted.
"Yeah, yeah. Tell him I'll be right there."
Sakura was already seated when he arrived. Her hair was pulled into her and Tsunade's usual style. She didn't look up when he entered and didn't look at him when he took the seat across from her. Kakashi gave sneaking glances at the two of them. He knew something was up because Sakura would usually greet the Nara heir whenever they sat down at meetings. The latter would usually respond with a nod in acknowledgment.
The ever-so-wise Hokage decided he didn't want to know.
Shikamaru was patient. He kept his composure throughout the two-hour meeting and pushed away all thoughts of the woman sitting across from him.
She did the same.
Sakura never once faltered when it was her turn to present documents or speak. She spoke clearly and without hesitation. There were no signs that she was bothered by anything. If it weren't for her never looking him in the eye when he wasn't addressing her or when she was focused on some important document whenever it was his turn to speak, he would've never known that she was mad at him.
But of course, Shikamaru picked up on all of that.
"Sakura, wait." Shikamaru cautiously grabbed her shoulder, ignoring the warmth emanating from her skin.
He wanted to wait until everyone was gone to talk to her. The two of them were usually the last ones to leave anyway, always having to gather papers and reports the Hokage was too lazy to do himself. But when he looked over and saw that she had already stacked up all of her documents in a neat blue folder, he jumped up.
"Yes?" She turned to him. He felt guilty for the dullness in her eyes. While they were not as bright as they used to be, they were never this dull in his presence. Not in the recent years of them working together.
"Can we talk?" He stopped her when he saw that she was about to respond. "Actually, no. We need to talk."
Sakura clamped her mouth shut. Normally, she would've glared at him for not giving her an option, but this Sakura was compliant and passive, holding in her violent temper.
"Fine. But I need to store these in the archive room." She motioned to the pile she was clutching to her chest.
"Here." He took half of the pile. "I'll help."
They walked in silence to their destination. Rows and rows of shelves full of books and papers greeted him. He liked the archive room. There was never anyone there. Books didn't talk unnecessarily and paper never hurt anyone (intentionally). It was a place where he could hide.
"So?" She started, sorting through the correct shelves to store the documents. "What did you want to talk about?"
Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck. He would've liked to speak about it in a more appropriate setting, but judging from the harsh tone of her voice and her annoyance, she probably wouldn't have agreed to anything. So he sighed and gave in.
"About last night—" he noticed her hand jerked, before continuing, "—I'm sorry for acting so weird. I just...there were a bunch of things running through my mind and I couldn't process them quickly enough."
It wasn't a lie. He really was thinking about too many things at once. She just didn't know she was the main cause for his inability to regulate his thoughts.
"It wasn't because I touched you?" The expression on her face wasn't angry. Instead, she looked a little sad.
"You touch me all the time, Sakura." The words came out more suggestive than he had intended, causing him to blush.
Sakura probably didn't think anything of it. Instead, she sighed in relief. "I just thought..."
"You thought what?"
She blinked and looked away shyly. She raised a hand to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. "I just thought I overstepped my boundaries when...I...hugged you..." The last part came out a little low and jumbled, but Shikamaru heard it all.
He felt extra guilty now knowing that she was probably blaming herself for his weird behavior. She probably blamed herself, thinking she did something wrong or did something she wasn't supposed to.
"You didn't overstep any boundaries." And before he could stop himself, he exclaimed, "The hug was actually really nice."
He slapped himself mentally when he saw the faint blush creeping onto her cheeks. He didn't have to say that!
"I'm sorry. I was just caught off guard a bit cause I didn't think you would hug me—but it's nothing to apologize for." He continued to prevent her from apologizing. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck again. He didn't know what else to say and he was beginning to regret catching her when he hadn't planned out his thoughts beforehand.
For all the IQ points he scored, none of them mattered when it came to these troublesome situations.
When Sakura cleared her throat and stuck her hand out to him, he felt an immediate sense of relief. "I forgive you."
He took her hand and shook it, feeling the disappointment when she took her hand back immediately.
"So, we're okay?" He asked. She rolled her eyes at his question, walking off without giving him the obvious answer he wanted to hear.
"Help me store these away."
Chōji Akimichi was a simple man. He liked buying snacks and eating them. He loved barbecue and chips. If he was keen on anything, it was the way meat was prepared and cooked—
And the way his friend looked at a certain pink-haired kunoichi.
Grabbing a handful of BBQ-flavored potato chips, Chōji stuffed them into his mouth while watching Shikamaru pretend not to be interested in whatever Sakura Haruno was saying. Shikamaru had told him that he would be free by 4pm, promising that they would go grab a late lunch together since it's been a while since they had actually hung out.
Well, it was now 4:25pm and Shikamaru was still not done with whatever duties he had to do for the Hokage. Or so it seemed.
Chōji tipped the bag of chips and emptied the leftover contents into his mouth before crumbling up the bag and dropping it into the trash can. He strolled his way over to where Shikamaru and Sakura were sitting on a bench. Chōji resisted the urge to groan when he saw his friend sneak a peek at the young kunoichi's face, a small smile perched on his lips.
Sakura was the first to notice him approach and waved to him. "Chōji!"
Shikamaru turned, eyes similar to a deer seeing its imminent doom by an arrow. Chōji suppressed the urge to sulk. You're surprised even though you kept me waiting?
Chōji was a really nice guy. Unless provoked, he was practically harmless. But over the years he learned not to let others take advantage of that kindness and toughened up more. So when his best friend was standing him up for lunch, he simply couldn't let it slide.
Shikamaru gave him a slight nod as the surprise faded from his eyes.
Ignoring Shikamaru, he turned his attention to the pink-haired kunoichi. "How are you, Sakura?" He wasn't trying to be petty, but the more he thought about it, the more hungry he got. The hunger was definitely fueling his pettiness.
"I'm okay, thanks for asking. What brings you here?" The smile gracing her lips brought out her prettiness. Unlike most of their comrades, Chōji had always thought Sakura was attractive, even during their Genin days.
Eh, not my type though.
"I was actually coming to look for Shikamaru." He glanced at his friend now sporting a guilty frown on his face. "We actually had plans to grab lunch at 4pm."
Sakura blinked and glanced to the big clock tower. "Oh, Kami..." She turned to Shikamaru, "You're late!"
"I'm sure Chōji doesn't mind since this is more impo—"
Sakura didn't stop to hear whatever Shikamaru had to say. She quickly grabbed the documents that he was holding and placed it with the stack of papers in her arms. She abruptly stood up and bowed to Chōji.
"Have a good time. These are pretty much sorted out so I can handle the rest. Sorry for keeping him!" She waved quickly and walked back towards the Hokage tower.
Chōji stood there eyes closed and smiling while Shikamaru processed the fact that she had left. Just like that.
"...Do you hate me?"
Ignoring his question, Chōji turned and started walking away. "Come on. We're late to our reservation. And by the way..." He paused for the extra dramatic effect.
"Lunch is just as important."
Shikamaru didn't have much of an appetite; Chōji had an appetite for the both of them.
"What's wrong?" His friend peered up from the rack of lamb he was biting.
"Nothing." Shikamaru grabbed a small slice of meat with his chopsticks and dipped it in soy sauce before plopping it into his mouth. He hadn't eaten anything all day, but he didn't seem to have much of an appetite for food.
What he really wanted was a cigarette.
"What's going on with you and Sakura?"
Sakura. Shikamaru focused on the steam rising from the grill at the center of the table. He was never bothered by it before, but he had been paying attention to all the people that she addressed casually.
"Nothing really. We just work together." It was the truth and nothing but. Nothing was going on between them and all hopes he had about her reciprocating his feelings were nonexistent. He's not dumb; he knew about his feelings for her for a while now. He was stuck in denial for the longest time, but he's come to accept them. Continuing to deny them was troublesome, so he stayed up all night yesterday to sort out his feelings and finally gave himself closure. He didn't wish for anything to change. He was comfortable with how they were. He didn't wantanything to change.
Shikamaru took another slice of beef.
Did he want her to notice him? Maybe. It would be nice if she acknowledged his presence as that of a man's. But could he handle anything else changing about their relationship? Probably not. Just knowing that he had feelings for her was hard enough; changing their relationship would be unbearable.
But what if it changed for the better?
He shook away the thought as soon as it came. Shikamaru probably could have one or two women in his life if he put in the effort and work. But to go after someone like Sakura was ... forbidden. It would be too much trouble. Her teammates would probably kill him and if they didn't, Ino probably would.
She'd probably kill him before Naruto and them could lay their hands on him.
"Nothing at all?" He could sense Chōji eyeing him carefully.
Shikamaru chewed and chewed until there was almost nothing but salty mush inside his mouth.
Nothing would happen between them. He'll make sure that nothing does. Was he satisfied with that? Probably? He never asked for much. The only person he was ever willing to work for was Temari. That relationship eventually ended because of the distance and travel time between Konoha and Sunagakure.
But with Sakura, the physical distance wouldn't be an issue.
Again, he shook the thought away. He said he'd make sure nothing changes. Shikamaru feared the consequences of trying and failing. He didn't think he could make her fall for him anyway.
That's fine. She won't push me away if she's comfortable with me.
The image of her pained face from the other night flashed through his memories. Shikamaru swallowed whatever was left in mouth.
"Nothing at all."
Yeah. This was fine.
"Shikamaru!"
Without opening his eyes, he could tell that it was Ino coming to ruin his peaceful nap. The sunlight blaring down on him was eased by her shadow.
There was no way she would believe his fake sleeping, so to save time, he opened his eyes and slurred lazily, "What?"
With her hands on her hips, her glare seemed harsher than any blazing sun's. "I'll be leaving for a month. You couldn't come to see me off?!"
His eyes bulged a little. "I thought that was all a lie to get me to come out for my birthday. You're actually leaving?"
She snorted. "Why would I create such an elaborate lie? It just so happened that the truth was useful in the plan to get you to come out." He wanted to knock that smug grin off of her face.
"Weren't you leaving in November?" He propped himself up, embracing the tingly sensation of the grass and dirt digging into his elbows.
"Yeah, so?"
"...It's only the second week of October." Was he the only one with a sane sense of time?
"We had a change of plans," she huffed. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
She took that as a cue to sit down next to him. "Sai apparently has some ultra important mission assigned to him by the end of this month." She placed her chin into her palm and blew at her bang. "It might go into his birthday week, so we decided to play it safe and take a vacation now."
"And you're not happy, because..?"
She flung her arms up in the air. "Because it's not his birthday!"
Shikamaru didn't understand. Maybe it was a "woman" thing. He knew Sai wouldn't mind celebrating his birthday earlier or later (or even at all), but maybe Ino had something planned out for November that she couldn't plan now.
He sighed. He didn't want to listen to this troublesome drama.
...But it would be more troublesome if he didn't listen.
"Did you have anything special planned for then?" He asked.
"Not really. It just looks better in the winter time."
"Where are you guys heading?"
"The Land of Hot Water." She threw a piece of grass she plucked from the ground before playing with her bang again.
Shikamaru vaguely remembered that the Land of Hot Water had a warm climate. It rarely changed over the course of the year. "It looks different in November?"
She gave him a look that said he was totally inane and out of touch with the world.
"There are only two days out of the whole year that it snows in the Land of Hot Water. Those two days occur sometime from mid-November to early December. Get a grip, Shikamaru!" He glared at her when she patted him hard in the back. Her smile didn't last long before it fell again. "I really wanted to see it while enjoying a nice bath in a hot spring."
Shikamaru had started blocking out Ino's whining. He's never heard of it ever snowing in the Land of Hot Water. He didn't even think it was remotely possible because of its climate. It seemed a little weird to him.
"It's cause you're not a romantic person!" Ino screamed at him. Shikamaru had never felt more offended.
After blabbing out his ear some more, she went away to go find Sakura. Shikamaru suddenly felt sorry for the medic, but also wondered if he could use this as an excuse to go see her.
He hadn't seen her for more than a few minutes over the past week. She had been busy with her duties in the hospital, so Shikamaru's been working full-time with Kakashi in the Hokage office. Her absence made him realize how much more efficient it was to work with Sakura. The paperwork had become tiresome and the meetings had become boring.
"Wait. I'll walk with you," he said as he motioned to get up. The horrified look on Ino's face soon made him regret his decision.
"You're getting up? Why?"
"...I can't escort you out?"
"But... you never get up from your cloud watching unless I drag you."
"You're leaving for a month. I won't see you for a while so this is my way of spending time with you." He had to thank his big brain for moments like these.
The blonde woman wasn't convinced, but she accepted it without question.
Shikamaru mentally fisted the air in victory. He didn't really lie. Though his plan was to see someone else, he enjoyed spending time with Ino. That is, when she wasn't being overbearing. He really would miss her if she were gone for a month. She briefly mentioned getting a bite to eat together but Shikamaru didn't pay much attention.
He felt his heartbeat racing faster as they approached the hospital. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Sakura, but it would be the first time that he'd have an actual conversation with her. He silently cursed himself for acting so foolish over a woman.
"Sakura!" Ino exclaimed happily once they rounded the corner.
Shikamaru tried not to let his expression change. But when he saw her jade eyes stare at him in surprise, he couldn't prevent the pink splash of color that graced his cheeks.
"Ino, Shikamaru-kun..." She greeted them both. "What're you guys doing here?" The question was more directed towards Shikamaru since Ino occasionally came to help out at the hospital.
"Ino wanted to see you. I'm just here to keep her company." He nervously rubbed his neck.
Sakura's attention was immediately on Ino. "You're leaving?"
The blonde mustered up a small, apologetic smile. "We switched the dates. It was decided at the last minute."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The hurt on Sakura's face was evident. Instead of responding, Ino reached over and hugged her best friend.
Shikamaru shifted his feet awkwardly. Maybe he shouldn't have come. He felt like he was immediately forgotten about. This was obviously something they needed to talk about in private and he was only in the way.
He moved a little farther from where the two women were now engaged in conversation. Shikamaru found himself in front of a vending machine. Everything inside looked unappetizing as they were all organic and packed full of vitamins and protein. The hospital staff must have it tough. He immediately thought to Chōji and wondered if he should buy his friend a snack from here.
He glanced back to Sakura. To anyone else, it would have looked like she was exaggerating. But he knew that with Ino gone, Sakura would have one less person who could comfort her. She wouldn't be able to go to Ino if she were to encounter any trouble. Shikamaru wondered if she was able to talk to anyone else about her problems the way she talked to Ino. He wondered if she would talk to him. Does he seem like a reliable person? He half-wondered if he should tell her that he'd be there if she ever needed someone to listen.
He immediately reminded himself that he didn't want anything to change.
... But would it be bad if something did?
Before he had the time to venture down that route, someone tapped his shoulder. He broke from his thoughts and turned, coming face to face with Sakura. He looked behind her but found no trace of Ino.
"Ino went to find some other staff members to let them know that she's leaving," she answered his silent question.
"She has friends everywhere, huh?" He marveled at the fact that the blonde was able to make friends wherever she went.
Sakura shrugged. "That's always been Ino."
"What're you still doing here then?" He asked her.
"I didn't want to leave you by yourself since you came all the way here. I told Ino I'd keep you company until she was finished." She gave a half-apologetic smile. "Sorry, you'll be stuck with me for a while."
Shikamaru felt his cheeks warm up. He wished he could tell her that she was more than enough and that she was the one he'd been wanting to see.
Instead, he bit his tongue and reminded himself that nothing would change.
"How much time do you have?" He asked.
"You guys caught me at a good time. I'm actually on break right now."
"Wanna go for a walk?" He nodded to the courtyard outside the window. He felt a little guilty for monopolizing her break time. He figured she may not have had time to herself for the last few days.
But instead of rejecting him, she gave him the same usual smile. "I'd love to."
Ever since Tsunade took over the hospital, she's constructed a bunch of structures to increase the longevity and happiness of her patients. She also called for the expansion of the hospital, building more rooms to admit patients and giving patients more space in their rooms. To her, mental and emotional health were just as important as physical health. That view was difficult for others to get, but the research that had been done showed positive results that a person's longevity was linked to their overall sense of well-being. That was one of the reasons why Konoha Hospital now has a courtyard in the middle of its building.
The other reason was to give her burnt-out workers a fresh change of scenery.
Her staff's health did not come second to their patients'. While the hospital was slightly different than the battlefield, Tsunade understood what every medic-nin went through. Being that they cannot stop treatment until the one they are treating died meant the medic-nin must continue to exhaust themselves to save the life of the other person. Chakra was their lifeline. So instead of having her staff constantly stare at the four white walls of the hospital, they could escape to the courtyard for a quick change of scenery where they could replenish their chakra and energy in peace.
Shikamaru watched as Sakura stretched her arms above her head, smiling as the sun rays warmed her face. He felt his chest warm up in that moment. When she turned to look at him, her green eyes were shining.
Or maybe that was his mind playing tricks on him.
"I would say I'm sorry for there not being a smoking area, but I wouldn't really mean it." She laughed.
Shikamaru blinked. "What?"
"Wasn't that the reason you wanted to go for a walk?"
He froze. Oh. He wasn't even thinking about smoking. He didn't feel the pack of cigarettes sitting in his back pocket; the weight of the box was completely forgotten.
She raised one pink eyebrow at him, inquiring about his silence. What was he supposed to tell her? That, oh, he only wanted to spend time with her and smoking was not on his mind for even a second? Would she accept that?
Would he accept that?
"Ah, it's fine. I didn't want to smoke anyway. Just needed fresh air."
"That's surprising," she quipped.
"Hey, give me a little credit. I have self-control, y'know." He joked being offended.
She laughed. "I know. You're a very rational guy, Shikamaru-kun."
His stomach did flip-flops. If only she knew how irrational his body sometimes acted whenever he was around her.
They passed their time chatting idly about what happened during the past few days when they hadn't seen much of each other. He watched as her breath grew more visible and the Autumn breeze painted her cheeks and nose a light red. He wondered if it would have been selfish to say nothing, allowing him to watch her more in peace. He studied her breathing, noticing her chest shudder slightly from wearing just her lightweight medical coat. He wished he could have offered her his coat had he brought one with him.
"Let's go back inside," he offered when she took no initiative herself. Shikamaru could see her getting cold, but she didn't let the discomfort show on her face nor complained that she wanted to go inside lest they catch a cold.
What an un-doctorlike thing to do.
"You don't wanna stay here?" Green orbs swirled as she set her eyes on him.
I do want to stay. But of course, he wasn't about to let Tsunade's protégée catch a cold. Who else would help Shizune run the hospital?
Who else would keep him company at the Hokage Tower?
As much as he wanted to monopolize a little more of her time, he understood that Sakura had urgent work to attend to. Keeping her beside him was a selfish thing to do. "I think we should find Ino."
He wasn't sure what the look in her eyes had meant in that moment, but it wasn't a look he had seen before.
"Yeah, let's go find her."
Shikamaru wasn't sure why, but it had suddenly grown very awkward. He watched her from behind, pink strands swaying with every step she took. It wasn't long before they found their blonde friend. She was chatting with two of the nurses until they saw Sakura. The two nurses bowed before wishing Ino a safe trip and heading off.
"You'll be late." Sakura scolded.
She shrugged. "I still have some time. Sai's getting all the luggage ready. That's why I came here to see you before I went off." She grabbed Sakura in a chokehold. Shikamaru smiled to himself as he watched the two women laugh.
"Are you coming to get lunch with me and Shikamaru?" Teal eyes looked expectantly at the woman. Sakura just raised an eyebrow.
"Lunch?"
Shikamaru rubbed his neck. He was so focused on spending some time alone with the pinkette that he totally forgot about the lunch.
Seeing his nervous attitude, Sakura turned back to Ino and politely declined. "I still have a lot of things to do here. Why don't you guys go ahead?"
"Come on, Forehead! I'm leaving for a month," she whined as she tugged on Sakura's arm.
"I wish I could join," she laughed when Ino rubbed her face against her hand, "But I really have to stay. Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-san won't be in today so I'll be overlooking the surgeries."
After a few more attempts, Ino finally gave up. They parted ways with Sakura after a nurse came to get her. The women said their final 'goodbyes' before Ino dragged Shikamaru out of the hospital, suddenly on a time limit. He noticed Sakura glancing back at them before turning and leaving with the nurse.
To say that he was disappointed was an understatement. He felt that she could've came out with them. He felt that she wanted to but the look in her eyes when she looked at him made him feel a little uneasy.
And guilty.
Shikamaru wasn't sure why the air between them had shifted. He wasn't sure what caused the medic's sudden change of mood. He had a hunch, but he was pretty sure he was wrong. Nothing she said indicated it and nothing in the way she acted proved that he was right. It was just a really big hunch. Shikamaru didn't want to dwell on it because he knew that the more he thought about it, the more hopeful he would become.
He shook his head and sighed. There was no use thinking about something when there was no evidence for it. He'd bury the thought. As much as he had come to know Sakura over the years, he still didn't know how to read her actions or decipher her thoughts. It turned out that half of the time, he was wrong about women.
So like all of those times, there was no way in hell he would've been right when he said that Sakura Haruno might have been a tiny bit jealous.
"Haruno-senpai?"
The pink-haired woman looked up from the notes she had been reading.
"Are you alright?" The young nurse laid her concerned gaze onto the older woman. Sakura vaguely remembered that she was new at the hospital, having recently finished her training.
She should be around the age of 18.
"I'm fine, thank you. Can you take these documents to Dr. Haru? He needs to see them before the surgery." Sakura handed the notes she had been reading over to the young nurse.
"Yes! Right away!" She watched as the nurse stumbled out the door. One of these days, she would have to make time to chat with her to see how she was adjusting to the hospital.
Sakura swiveled her chair around to face the window. Clear blue skies.
It would have been a perfect day to go out.
She figured that this was the best option. There wasn't a need for her to go along with them. It was precious time spent between teammates and she would've been the odd one out. Sakura tapped her nail against her chair handle.
Shikamaru was probably happier this way.
Her being there would've made him feel weird. She noticed how he had been avoiding eye contact with her lately and how he seemed to grow nervous at their close distance. She didn't want him to distance himself from her. She saw him as a close friend and someone she could trust on the battlefield and maybe off of it too. She didn't know when they had grown close, but probably chalked it up to them always being together at the Hokage Tower. It was a great friendship.
But things started to change recently and she didn't know how to take it.
Sakura sighed. She knew she shouldn't jump to conclusions, but she was just...confused. He didn't mention getting lunch together... maybe he didn't want her there after all. She absentmindedly rolled a pen back and forth on her desk. Did she care about Shikamaru? Of course. They fought a war together, worked together and even hung out together sometimes. He was someone she respected and admired and having him accept her and become friends with her made her really happy.
But something happened and now his demeanor towards her was changing.
He wasn't doing anything different. He acted the same way. What was different were his hesitant pauses when he spoke to her, when he made sure there was a good-enough distance between them and when he would look away from her and never seemed to look her in the eyes. She was never able to read people's thoughts; she was never good at it nor felt that she wanted to. The only person that she ever wanted to understand and read was Sasuke.
And now it was Shikamaru.
"Ugh!" Sakura ruffled her pink hair and slammed her head down onto the desk.
Why was he so careful around her now? Did she do something? Had she crossed any other boundaries since his birthday party?
She closed her eyes. She'd been careful ever since then. That was the first time he acted weird with her. That was the first time she ran away from him.
Sakura laid her head onto her arms and blocked out the light.
... Was she in the way?
She replayed all the memories of that night. She felt his form molding against her own body. She felt the beating of his heart against her chest and and his warm breath on her neck. Sakura replayed them all.
And then she shut them out.