What?!
By Ldynwaitin
Chapter Four
Flower Power
Daniel scanned the climate control room. He could see they were losing the battle here. They needed to find that mother plant and stop her from overtaking Star Gate Command. "Jack, everyone has to leave now," Daniel shouted. "I may have a way of killing Audrey3."
Jack faintly heard Daniel shouting for them to leave. He realized that the vines were winning. Hearing Daniel say he knew how to stop the vines was enough for him to retreat.
"Carter, you done yet?"
Sam pulled several levers on a panel while Peters and Spears worked on keeping the vines away from her. Hearing a thunk, she saw the power buttons blink out. "Power is off on the turbines, sir. We can go now."
They all ran out of the room. Slamming the door shut, they began to back away. Jack turned around. "Wow, a pair of Jacksons. Beats me."
Daniel stepped forward, "Now Jack, take it easy. You're not seeing things. There are two of me."
"Don't tell me, you're one of the Grady twins from the Shinning."
Daniel angrily placed his hands on his hips. "Why would you say that, they were girls."
"Same hair color."
"But they were little girls!"
"Careful, Daniel," Coyotl said. "Don't get him angry, he's going to say your name, then say it louder, and then..."
"Wait a minute." Jack pointed at Coyotl. "That was you in the conference room."
Coyotl waved at him. "Hi Jack, it's later."
"Someone want to tell me what's going on?"
Daniel slowly backed away from Jack. "You know when you told me not to have Dino follow me home?" Looking at Coyotl, Daniel uncomfortably smiled.
Jack saw the Daniel wearing desert camo frowning. "It wasn't very nice throwing that bucket of dirty water at me."
"Dino?" Jack said. "Daniel, I'm going to kill you!"
Coyotl started laughing. Getting a stern look from Jack he said, "Daniel said it was a joke."
"I'm going to try again; someone tell me what the hell is going on. Short version, Daniel. I don't want a dessert."
"Dissertation, Jack this is Coyotl. He's the Aztec god of mischief. He was inside of that black box we found. He came through the gate with me and started all this."
Jack angrily glared at Coyotl. "You're telling me he's the one that brought Audrey3 here?"
"It's not my fault," Coyotl whined. "I just wanted to have a little fun. I didn't know she would grow so fast."
"He can also control people, Jack," Daniel said. "He can make them do whatever he wants."
"Then it was him that caused the fights, the rush to the bathrooms, and making Teal'c look like a jack-o-lantern?"
Daniel looked uncomfortable. "And Walter's burps."
Coyotl laughed out loud. "Yes, that was me, I have had so much fun."
"Before you want to shoot him, Jack," Daniel said.
"To late," Jack said. He placed his hand on his gun.
"Don't, Jack. He said he knows how to find the mother plant. We need to find her to stop the Audrey3's."
"Before we even consider him helping us, tell him to fix Teal'c first. My cheeks hurt just looking at him."
Teal'c was trying to pull the edges of his mouth down. He angrily glared at Coyotl.
"Coyotl," Daniel said. "Can you fix him?"
Coyotl was hiding behind him. "I don't know if I want to, Jack wants to shoot me, Sam won't wear a cueitl and you keep shouting at me."
Jack looked at Daniel, "A cutie?"
Daniel shook his head. "Don't ask." He turned around and looked deep into Coyotl eyes. "I promise I won't shout at you anymore. Now can you please take off that smile?" Daniel pleaded. "Teal'c is my friend. Oh, and I also want you to promise me not to control anyone else."
"No one?" Coyotl moaned.
"No one, please, Coyotl. We did get you off that planet, you owe us."
Coyotl nodded his head. "Okay, Daniel, I promise, but I'll do it for you. No more controlling. For now," he whispered.
His eyes sparkled, as he said. "Teal'c, stop smiling."
The tips of Teal'c's mouth slowly curved down. His eyebrows furrowed; his eyes turned dark. "If you did not look like Daniel Jackson, I would snap you in half for what you did to me."
Coyotl brightly smiled. "It's a good thing I picked you to look like, Daniel."
Daniel placed his hands on Coyotl's shoulder, he gently asked him, "Now, can you find this mother plant?"
Sighing, Coyotl walked to the walls and touched them. Closing his eyes, he concentrated. Opening his eyes, Coyotl pointed down. "She's in a room below us."
"Where?" Jack asked.
"She's by the u-wo-lo-wa."
"I'm what?" Jack said.
"Circle, Jack," Daniel said. "It's Aztec for circle. Coyotl, it's called the stargate."
Coyotl frowned. "But we named it first."
"Yes, but you're on our world now, we call it a stargate."
Coyotl crossed his arms. "I call it u-wo-lo-wa,"
"Stargate," Daniel said.
"U-wo-lo-wa !"
"Daniels!" Jack shouted.
"What!" they both said.
"Can you continue this fascinating debate after we kill Audrey3, or is it four now?"
"Jack," Daniel said, "We're still not sure how big it is,"
"Here, Daniel," Coyotl said. "Let me show you."
Touching the walls, Coyotl placed his hand on Daniels shoulder. Immediately Daniel was in the gate room. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The mother plant was huge. She was nearly the size of the stargate. Her flower was gigantic, it could swallow four men whole. The room was covered from floor to ceiling in vines. Her vines were wound around the stargate. He wasn't sure, but he saw her flower glowing, the vines pulsing as they wrapped tighter around the gate. He felt Coyotl's hand release him. In a blink he was back in the hallway.
He tried to catch his breath. "That was incredible. I was in the gate room."
"What did you see, Daniel?" Sam asked him.
"The mother plant, it was gigantic, the plant was almost as big as the stargate. It's flower, it was huge. And Sam, I think it was feeding off the stargate. That must be how it got so big so fast."
"Why did we not find any mother plants on the planet feeding off of its stargate?" Teal'c asked.
"The missing DHD," Sam said. "That has to be it. The power to run the stargate comes from there." Sam rolled her eyes when she heard Coyotl whisper, "U-wo-lo-wa."
"Let's see if she's as big as Daniel says she is before we come up with any theories. So," Jack said. "Now we have an Audrey4 in the gate room. If there aren't any other surprises, let's go."
"I want to go too," Coyotl said. He patted his vest, "I got the sticky pockets." He opened and closed them.
"How old are you, 4?" Jack said.
"Uh, Jack," Daniel said. "He was here during the Mayans reign. They go as far back as 1,800 BC."
Coyotl chuckled. "That's nothing, we were on your world when there was nothing living on the land. Just small things in your oceans."
Daniels mouth fell open, "That can't be possible."
"What can't be?" Jack asked.
"I think he's referring to the Paleoproterozoic era, that was 2,500 million years ago."
"You mean he's at least 25 mill, 2,500… that old?"
"Older," Coyotl said.
"Wow, I'd like to see the candles on that birthday cake."
The door to the climate control room suddenly slammed open. The vines inside poured out. "Let's go get Audrey4 before she takes over the entire facility. And keep Daniel2 out of my way." He stormed down the corridors.
"My name is Coyotl," he shouted, as he followed him. "You're name he doesn't have a problem with," Coyotl grumbled, as he followed Daniel.
They stopped at the armory first. Loading up with P-90's and incendiary grenades.
"Sir," Sam said, as she strapped in a walkie talkie. "You sure you want to use the grenades in the gate room? The vent turbines are down."
"Last resort, Carter. I'm not ruling anything out."
"Daniel, you have a ball in here, this looks fun," Coyotl said, as he picked up a shock grenade. He threw it in the air, Daniel carefully caught it. "Coyotl, not fun, definitely not fun."
Daniel gingerly placed the grenade back in its case. "Sorry," he mouthed to Jack.
"Let's go," Jack said. "And new rule, Coyotl touches nothing!"
They left the arms room and made their way to the conference room.
Jack gripped his gun tighter as he could hear Coyotl behind him saying, "Can I touch this wall? Can I touch this door? Can I touch my nose?" He could hear Daniel's voice growing in intensity as he said, "Yes, yes, yes!"
They met General Hammond and a burping Walter in the corridors.
"Colonel O'Neill," Hammond said. "What the hell is that?" He pointed to Daniel and Coyotl.
"General!" Coyotl happily said. "You never answered my question. Does it hurt you to talk like that?"
"Coyotl?" Daniel whined.
"What? Daniel, it sounds like it hurts."
"I'm sorry, sir," Daniel said.
"Sir," Jack said. "We seemed to have brought an uninvited guest with us on our return from P2H-529. Meet, Daniel2, who is presently being portrayed by Coyotl."
Stepping forward, Coyotl executed a low bow. "I am pleased to meet you, General Hammond." Standing up he whispered, "Sorry if I upset you. But don't feel bad, you're not alone, I seem to have upset everyone."
Walter tried to stifle his burps. Grinning, Coyotl moved to stand next to Daniel.
"Coyotl, could you?" Daniel pointed to Walter.
"Fine, try and have a little fun around here," he mumbled. His eyes sparkled as he said, "Glad your hiccups stopped."
Immediately Walters hiccups stopped. He breathed a sigh of relief.
Hammond stared at Coyotl. "Someone want to tell me what the Sam hill is going on. Doors are not working or blocked, half our men are trapped in the corridors. Giant vines are popping out of everywhere."
"Yes, sir," Jack said. "We've been invaded by a carnivorous plant. We think the mother plant is in the gate room. Walter and you should find a saferoom. One without an air vent. Hopefully we'll be able to give you some good news soon."
"Very well, Colonel. I trust that you and your team will resolve this. Good luck."
Separating, they sprinted to the conference room. Reaching it, they slowly opened the door. It was lit up with emergency lights. Holding their guns forward, Jack and Teal'c rushed over to the stairs leading to the control room. "I can see vines down there, O'Neill," Teal'c said. "It is good that they have not made their way up here yet."
Daniel saw the blast doors were closed; he pushed a button. The metal doors that covered the window in the conference room slowly began to open. Everyone crowded the window that looked down into the gate room. They were all finally able to see what threatened the facility.
Daniel shook his head; it was even bigger than when he first saw it. It covered the stargate. Its flower lay on the ramp, large red petals slowly opened and closed. The room was covered from floor to ceiling in giant vines. The vents leading out of the room was teeming with vines.
"Wow," Jack said. "That is one big mother." Seeing uncomfortable looks, he said, "I know you were all thinking it, I just said it."
"It's, it's huge," Sam said. "She's completely taken over the stargate." She pointed to the vines encircling the gate. "Look how they're pulsating. She's drawing power straight from the gate."
"Would cutting the power stop it, Carter?" Jack asked.
"Well, it would stop her growth, sir. But she'll still be a threat at that size. I also doubt it would stop her spreading. We need to find a way to destroy her."
"Coyotl," Daniel said. "Do you know how we can kill her? Coyotl?" Daniel searched for him. Hearing a swishing, he saw Coyotl sliding down the spiral staircase. "Daniel, you have got to try this."
"There he is," Jack said. "Our savior, Dennis the Menace."
"Coyotl," Daniel sternly said. "Could you come here please?"
"Sure." He practically skipped to Daniel.
Daniel pointed into the stargate room. "Can you tell us how we can kill her?"
Coyotl frowned. "Daniel, when is the fun part supposed to start?"
Daniel closed his eyes in frustration. Coyotl stared at him. "Are you thinking again, or sleeping?"
"Daniel," Jack said. "Let me try something first." He patted his gun.
Daniel waved his hand, "Try away."
"Teal'c, Peters, Spears, you're with me. We're going to see how Mother handles firepower."