Mystic: I started this fic before nursing school. I have since graduated, moved to an actual city again (think Mardi Gras y'all), and work in an emergency department. During Covid. *cries in N95* I miss floor nursing!
Reeve really, really, wanted a whiskey sour, but he also wanted to be a good soon-to-be father and support the woman carrying his unborn child who could not imbibe. It was a very unhappy conundrum.
So he drank a dark soda with lots of ice and pretended to put alcohol in it. (It was not the same.)
As a professional gesture, he agreed to accompany Yuffie to her home country so to appease her father. And yet, Reeve believed it to be a useless endeavor since his lover, heir to the throne, was in fact a grown woman who spit in the traditional laws of the land. Whatever Lord Godo said regarding marriage, or reputation, or "keeping appearances", Yuffie would obviously answer with a raspberry, eyeroll, or engaging in a shouting match until she got her way.
Cid kept a whiskey stash somewhere on the airship. Maybe it was hidden under the floorboards. But in order to search for said secret whiskey, Reeve would have to maneuver out from Yuffie's sleeping body, which wasn't worth the alcoholic effort. He liked it when she cuddled with him, a nice break from the meeting room when she'd pass along dirty notes beneath the table. Sometimes she drew pictures. (His favourite picture involved a stick figure with a goatee on the receiving end of a beautiful blow job. He framed it for his living room.)
Maybe this was the thing called love his mother talked about.
"SHE'S A WITCH! HANG THE BITCH!"
Reeve suddenly regretted not giving the ninja her usual dose of sleeping pills for the air travel. Not only did they stop her horrific nausea, the medication also stopped her vivid night terrors. But the tranqs hadn't been tested on pregnancy, so Reeve chose not to risk it. And now -
"THE DEVIL IS INSIDE HER!"
... it could be just a sex dream. Nevermind.
The commissioner sat up and caught her before she flailed off the bed. He held her close, waited.
"Oh, hey sexy man." She scritched his goatee like one would a cat.
"No more ghost stories."
"But the good doctor's baby mama tells the best ones," she whined. Yuffie yawned. "Are we there yet? I wanna rub it in my dad's face that I'm having a bastard child."
"Couldn't you say love child?"
She grimaced. "Yeah, I'm not calling what we do lovemaking."
Good point. The scratches on his back still hadn't healed up, and Yuffie took to wearing longer shorts to cover up the paddle marks. She refused to wear turtlenecks and the first time a certain red-haired Turk noticed the red marks on her neck, that same Turk walked up to Reeve and attempted to examine the commissioner's teeth. "Reno, what are you doing?" Reeve had asked.
"Banging the ninja? Awesome. Let me and Tifa know if you want to swap."
Reeve flat out refused, though Yuffie gave serious consideration if she could spend the night with Tifa while Reeve and Reno went all gladiator on each other. Reno flat out refused, but Tifa thought it was a great idea.
Henceforth, Reeve refused to go any party or club. He was too old for that anyway.
Reno and Tifa gleefully attended a key party with Doctor Luis and Nurse Harmony. Cid and Shera might have been there too, but since every attendee wore party masks and/or chain mail, they weren't completely sure. Either way, the women were treated like a screen door in a hurricane which made for an eventful evening.
Come to think of it, there were times when Reno showed up to work smelling like Cid's brand of smokes.
Lord Godo felt much confliction in recent days. Finally, by holy Leviathan, he was being given a grandchild to carry on Wutai's glory. And while such grandchild had been conceived sigh out of the bonds of marriage, the future of Wutai did originate from a man of significant power. The commissioner was, in no better terms, good stock. It was worth not arguing too much with his daughter over it.
No, he'll welcome the couple, congratulate them, because if he didn't he'd end up dreaming about his late wife yelling at him again. His stomach churned at the thought. It was after her death that the emperor increased funding for midwives and the obstetric/gynecology field. It was the same reason a certified nurse-midwife stood beside him to welcome Yuffie home to Wutai.
Unlike the nurses in Midgar or Junon who wore royal blue, Wutai nurses wore white. This particular nurse-midwife had been in the field for over twenty years, had cared for women from the back alley ghettos to the affluent women of the royal family. She had been instrumental in developing a 'hemorrhage cart' for every labor and delivery floor in every Wutai hospital.
Lord Godo was not taking chances with his daughter's health.
He missed his wife.
"Emperor," she said, holding her white cap from blowing away. "With your permission, I'd like to assess the Lady Yuffie as soon as she disembarks."
He scoffed. "It's not my permission you need, Nurse. It's Yuffie's, and good luck with that." He willfully ignored the nurse's side-eye.
"Challenge accepted, emperor," which was her way of saying, 'hold my sake'. When the spry ninja with modest level shorts departed from the airship, she was greeted by a straight-laced nurse with a smile reminiscent of the nurses who once used to tie patients to their beds and leave them there until the madness went away ... eventually.
"Yeah, can I help you?" said Yuffie, hand on hip.
That asylum smile grew bigger and maddening. "I am Nurse Lei, your midwife. Under my care, you will survive. You and your bastard fetus will follow me now so I can examine you."
Reeve let out a long sigh. Yuffie cackled. "I like her! Reevie, stay here and chat with my old man. Tell him all about my wet ass pussy and how many times you put your foreign dick in it."
The emperor really did love his daughter, which meant he knew exactly who to hire to keep her safe. "Well, go ahead and tell me, Commissioner."
"How have you only gained ten pounds?" Nurse Harmony blinked, mouth agape, as she watched Tifa polish off a bowl of banana puddin'. Yes, puddin'. No G at the end. Pronounce it right, you damn Yankees. Too be funny, sometimes Tifa called Reno her 'puddin' ', but not too often because it made her sound like a renegade anti-hero on a mission no other hero would take. Though she was sleeping with a "villain"...
(Would Reno even look right with green hair? When was All Hallow's Eve again?)
"I've been doing yoga and tai chi every morning and evening," Tifa answered. "Keeps away the guilt. I am hungry all the time. Food tastes and smells so awesome."
The nurse shrugged. "I mean that's normal, so whatever. Any nausea or anything?"
"Only if I wait too long to eat."
"Lucky little bitch. Alright, well, keep doing what you're doing then."
"Sorry, I know you're here to visit since you're off today."
Harmony laughed. "It's fine. It's not easy to turn off the nurse brain. Is there any banana pudding left so I can have some?" She prided herself on being a damn yankee. Shera, quietly focused on her cross-stitch, shook her head. Poor thing, can't even appreciate proper pronunciation of mountain comfort food.
"Tifa, are you sure you're not playing right now?" she asked, eyes primed on the fabric. "Lots of men have a fetish for pregnant ladies."
"I think it's the boobs," Harmony added. "And the downstairs feels more awesome."
Shera nodded in assent. "A pilot friend of Cid's said the same thing." She paused in her stitching, looked up wistfully. "That young gentleman was such a cheeky fellow."
The bartender decided to lay off the snacks for a bit and poured herself a glass of sparkling grape juice. "No, I think Reno and I deserve an extended break until after I give birth. We've been playing just about every weekend."
"But you'll miss the All Hallow's Eve key party at the Close Encounters club," Harmony pointed out. "It's a transvestite theme this year."
Shera said, "That reminds me. I need to fit Cid for a black corset."
"I know, but Reno and I are saving up for the Fantasy cruise outside of Costa del Sol."
"If Cid wears the black corset, would it be improper if I wear a top hat?"
"What will you wear with the top hat?"
"Mm, I'm thinking a vest."
"Anything else?"
"Can't think of anything."
"You'll be fine."
Shera shrugged and returned to her stitching. "Speaking of All Hallow's Eve, Harmony, any more ghost stories from Junon? We need a good way to pass the time since we cannot drink and the men are not around."
She ignored Tifa's extended middle finger, given mostly in jest.
The nurse accepted a flute of non-alcoholic juice. "It's not so much a story as actual Junon history. I took a couple of classes back in college. Tell me what you think of the Junon coven."
"Like witches?" asked Tifa. She appeared unimpressed. Growing up in the mountains of Nibelheim, there was always that one old woman who kept a scraggly garden and a few cats. Even though the garden looked unkept and weedy, the harvest was bountiful with nary a gopher to destroy it. Her herbs smelled fresh, her soup tasted savory, and her pipe blew pleasant smoke when she indulged on her front porch rocker. She might smack a child's hand if they tried to touch her hot stove, but she also gave a firm warning to the same child to stay away from the traveling preacher who liked it when the little girls sat on his lap.
Tifa remembered that warning - and was thankful for it.
"Who do you think founded the universities and hospital system?"
The pilot's wife glanced up from the needlework. "When was the last time you made a medication error?"
Harmony simply winked.
"There's a what going on in Costa right now?"
"Well, doctor, it's a respiratory disease and -"
Luis smacked the scared intern upside his head. "Uh, newbie. No. You're going to have to be more specific than 'respiratory disease'. There's lots of those floating around. Is it TB? Is it rhinovirus? Is it MERS? Come on, kid. Work with me."
Go to medical school, they said. Work with Luis as an attending, they said. "It's a variant of the Lindblum pulmonary infection that ran through the planet about nine hundred years ago." The intern flashed a timid grin that silently said, "please don't give me any more of your scut work".
"That infection wiped out one-third of humanity. Twice."
The intern retained his smile.
Luis growled and stomped off down the hallway. In all fairness, the exchange could have been worse. At least this time Luis didn't tell him to throw pain medication into the patient's mouth and chart whatever amount landed as the correct dose. "It's not even an opiate, newbie!"
And this ancient pulmonary infections wasn't even influenza. Just like before when Gaea's countries went by different names, the first victims to fall were the elderly and chronically ill. He knew Junon kept a record in their medical database, which meant a phone call and special pleading on his end so his attending physician might one day pat him on the back and tell him 'good job'. A long shot, perhaps.
He did not notice Luis trying to call his aging mother.
Mystic: *pours a shot* Five points and free nasal swab to anyone who can guess all of my rip-offs and references in this bitch.