6: Bench

Temari didn't really know what was going on. She was having a bad day, she knew that much, but something about this was different. She felt emotionally tired; she felt like all the energy she usually had to care about her work and getting things right had been sapped out of her. In all honest she was just sad and couldn't explain why; it was just one of those days. She sat on a bench facing the lake and thought about a conversation she'd had with Ino on this very spot a year ago.

"I'm just thinking about my dad. I can't help it; I know everyone thinks I'm back to normal but…" she trailed off, sniffling. "Just because I don't show I'm sad all the time doesn't mean I don't feel it."

Temari knew exactly what she meant. She too had lost loved ones and countless friends over the years; maybe that's why Ino had stopped her on her walk. "I understand. Sometimes just sitting and clearing your head can be the best thing to do. So just sit and think about yourself for a while, okay?" Temari said simply. She wasn't known for being kind but she gave good advice at least.

"Yeah. I wish I had someone to sit here with me though." Ino sighed. Temari rolled her eyes and took a seat next to her. "Hey Temari?"

"Yeah?"

"While I've been sitting here I've been thinking: how do you know if you love someone?" Temari raised an eyebrow at her.

"You seriously think this is something I think about?" Temari asked, looking her dead in the eye. She'd never admit it but she did in fact think about love and what it meant in her spare time.

"No, no I'm just saying. But you know what I've just realised? I think if I loved anyone I would've called them to sit here with me. And if they loved me they'd come and sit with me for no apparent reason. They'd sit with me just because I asked."

"I hope you're not trying to tell me anything here Ino…" Temari said sceptically.

"Haha! You wish. I'm not saying it wouldn't be fun but that's not what I'm getting at. I'm just saying, if there was anyone I was that close to I'd want to call them right now wouldn't I? But since I don't really want to call anyone in particular I guess I'm not in love." Ino looked off into the distance longingly, and Temari realised there was some truth to what she was saying.

As she sat on her bench looking out over the lake she toyed with the idea of calling someone to sit with her. When she asked herself who she'd call only one name came to mind. She was too proud to call her brothers, and she didn't really have a lot of friends in Konoha anyway. She didn't want to call Ino; she was a good person but honestly Temari didn't want to analyse why she was sad. She just wanted someone to distract her.

Her finger hovered over the button to dial Shikamaru's number but she hesitated. Did she really need company? Did she want to admit to herself that he was the person she would call? Ino's words kept ringing in her head, and Temari knew she didn't love Shikamaru or anything. They were good friends and colleagues and that was all. She turned the screen off and tucked the phone back into her pocket. Then she pulled it out again thinking she was stupid. Calling him didn't mean anything in particular, it just meant he was good company. Then she put it away again; how was she going to explain to him why she wanted him there? He'd probably just call her stupid and make her feel even worse. She groaned and ran her hand through her hair.

"Everything okay?" a smooth, tired voice drawled from behind her. She shot her head round, way too fast for it to be normal – that was the last voice she expected to hear.

"Shikamaru," she looked at him dazed for a few seconds and then straightened herself up, "what are you doing here?"

"I was just out to clear my head a little and I saw you looking stressed over here so I came to check it out. What's going on?" When she heard him ask a second time she realised he really, genuinely cared. She smiled softly.

"Nothing, just had a long day. Wanna sit?" she scooted over on the bench to make room for him.

"Sure." He sat down next to her and they both looked over the lake, perfectly reflecting the pink, dusk sky. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he said unexpectedly.

"Yeah. You'd never see anything like this in Suna."

"Well that's a given, Suna's a dump." He smirked and glanced at her for a reaction.

"Oi! Don't you dare, Suna's beautiful in a different way. Would you ever see a cactus here?"

"Temari, I mean this with love, but no one has ever wanted to see a cactus before. Cactus means desert, and desert means bad," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Desert means home. Have you ever even been to Suna?"

"No but-"

"Exactly!" They continued to argue until the sun finally set, when they headed their separate ways. Maybe she didn't actually call him to come and sit with her, but, Temari thought as they said their goodbyes, maybe someday she would.