Dreams
Within the next few days, Saix was getting less and less restful sleep, and that was due to the insanely vivid dreams he had been having. About Izzie. It initially made him angry because he was missing out on sleep he barely got anyway-sleeping late, waking early, and not sleeping well during that time. Then, they made him mad because most of them were utterly mushy.
Some nights, he was in a dark environment, but could make out the faint linings of tall pine trees in the distance. The only reason he could see their needles was because of a radiant light coming from the girl standing near them. Three guesses as to who that girl was. The light seemed to be coming from her skin, making her body luminescent like a pearl, and when he called out to her, she would turn, look over her shoulder, smile, and then vanish, leaving him in complete blackness. While deciphering their meaning was frustrating, those weren't the dreams Saix minded. The ones he did mind were the ones where they were…doing stuff. Kissing, touching, saying very gushy things…but never anything too dirty or graphic. After those dreams, Saix would wake up embarrassed, flustered, and cross, and could never get back to sleep, no matter how much time he had left before he had to get up. It wasn't even the actions of the dreams that made him feel awkward, it was the words.
Saix was far from a romantic creature-even when he was human, anything remotely romantic made him gag-but the things his dream self said were beyond cheesy. He didn't even want to think about it.
Today, as he awoke from one of the cutesy dreams, he let out a long groan, turning and burying his face in his pillow. The air conditioner made a soft whooshing sound, making the sheet that was hanging haphazardly off the bed sway back and forth. After a moment, he uncovered one of his eyes and looked at the clock; three-forty-seven in the morning. He sighed, and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling above him. He had only been asleep for a little over an hour, and had to be up in another two. Grumbling incoherently, Saix threw the blankets off himself and stood, running a hand through his slightly tangled hair. Blinking blearily, he walked over to his dresser and pulled out an old white T-shirt to put on so he wasn't walking around the castle in just a pair of pajama pants, and exited his room.
The hallway was darker than normal, the dull lights that were on during the day off for the night, and it was quiet. As Saix passed Xigbar's room, he heard guttural snoring coming from within. Didn't help that the door was wide open. He sighed, and reached to grab the doorknob, but not before catching a glimpse of the Sharpshooter's rear end only covered in a pair of old and tattered tighty-whities. He was hanging half on, half off his bed, his right leg practically touching the floor, and Saix shook his head, pulling the door closed.
"If he is hungover tomorrow I'm gonna give him the hardest mission I have." He continued plodding silently through the castle, moving from the floor the bedrooms were on down to the kitchen and dining area.
As he entered the kitchen, he saw the light was on, and as he rounded the corner, heard a song playing on the radio kept by the stove. When he looked, he saw Izzie sitting at the small table, a rather thick book in front of her. She was more than halfway through it. He didn't say anything and continued over to the fridge, opening the cabinet beside it. The cabinet contained a multitude of different alcoholic drinks, from rum, Luxord's favorite, to whiskey to vodka to wine.
"Can't sleep?" Izzie asked as she turned a page in her book. Saix made a noise as he pushed the bottles around, making them clink together, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey-strictly his, no one else was allowed to touch it. He was pleased that the level hadn't dropped since he last had some. As he placed the bottle on the counter and opened another cabinet for a shot glass, he felt a small gust of wind. "Aren't you a little young to drink?"
Saix lifted his eyes to look at Izzie, who was now sitting on the counter next to him. "I'm twenty-four," He replied dryly. "And even if I wasn't, I can do what I want."
"You saw me standing by the wall corner of main street. And the lights are flashing on your windowsill…" He glanced over at the radio.
"What are you listening to?"
"It's Duran Duran," Izzie replied. Saix gave her a blank look, pausing in lifting the glass to his lips.
"Should I know what that is?" She let out a breath, moving her eyes to look at the bottle next to her.
"It's a band from the eighties. I like music from that decade."
"Mm." Saix didn't really listen to music. He got enough of it from Demyx's sitar. As he threw back his shot, Izzie said,
"I've noticed you've been irritable lately. And that's saying something for you." He put the glass down firmly and glared at her.
"I haven't been sleeping well. Guess who's fault that is?" Izzie raised her eyebrows.
"You're blaming me for not sleeping well?"
"That's what I'm doing."
"You gotta be kidding me. How am I to blame for your poor sleep?"
"Well if you hadn't made me say all that stuff a few days ago, I wouldn't have even thought about it, and nothing would've changed."
"What changed?"
"Everything!" He planted his hands on either side of Izzie's legs, leaning closer to her. As he inhaled to continue speaking, he stopped short. He had never been this close to her before. He had never noticed the incredible, intoxicating smell that came off of her, from her hair, her skin, her breath…It was near hypnotic. It was sweet and floral, like hyacinth and jasmine, with cotton and honey undertones, along with something he couldn't put his finger on. And it was that particular scent that clouded Saix's head, made him forget what he was trying to say. "You…changed…everything," He mumbled.
"Well so did you." She replied in the same tone. This was so strange. How could he feel so damn nervous? His pulse was quickening, he could feel the throb of his heart in his chest, and his face was getting hot. "Is that a bad thing?" She asked softly.
"No."
Nearly the moment he got the word out, he meshed his lips with hers, gripping her hips and her waist. She let out an adorable moan, her hands moving to his face and slipping back to tangle in his hair. Her legs parted, allowing his body to fit better to hers, and she wrapped them around his waist. Her skin was cold and hard, but at the same time, she was soft. Not in the classic way, her skin didn't give the way a human's or Nobody's did, but it still felt like satin, like satin covered steel. Out of the women Saix had touched, Izzie was the softest. She was the only one that felt right. He slid his hands along the buttons of Izzie's shirt, plucking them open one by one, and the moment he got the last button free-
Saix's eyes snapped open.
For a moment, he was confused. The music that had been playing in the background was suddenly gone. The room was dark. And he was lying in bed.
Slowly, he sat up, looking around, and saw he was in his bedroom. He had been dreaming again!
"Are you kidding me?" He groaned, plopping down onto his back. Did he dare look at the clock? Apprehensively, he glanced over to the alarm clock on his right, and saw it was three-forty-seven. No way was he leaving his bed.
A few hours later at eight in the morning, Saix was standing in his usual spot in the Grey Area, pulling the mission briefs for the day from his clipboard. Xaldin walked up to him, and he handed him his mission for the day.
"You're not sleeping well," He said in a disapproving tone. Saix glanced silently at him. "You know we all need adequate rest in order to preform our duties. Fix it."
"Oh, I just need to fix it?" Saix said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "If only I had thought of that before." Xaldin narrowed his eyes, snatched the paper from Saix, and walked over to one of the couches to read over it before heading out. Jeez, was it that obvious?
He sighed, and allowed his eyes to trail over to where Izzie and Iris were sitting. It looked like they were speaking, from the way they moved their heads, but he couldn't see their lips move. They must have been speaking too quickly.
"Someone's got heart eyes," Saix's shoulders jolted a bit when Axel's voice sounded from right next to him. He didn't even hear him approach.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Saix grumbled, flipping through mission briefs before finding Axel's and handing it to him. As he took it, he smiled smugly.
"Please. Could you want her more?"
"Shut up."
"Now, are you telling me to shut up because you're embarrassed, because she can hear me, or because I'm wrong?"
"Keep talking and I'm gonna slit your throat in your sleep."
"You love her, you want to marry her." As Axel sang, Saix jabbed his fist into his side.
"I am not joking."
"Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots." Saix glared at Axel as he turned with a smirk and went over to a chair. He plopped down on it, draping his legs over its arm and began reading the information for his mission.
"Morning." Saix jumped again as the pealing voice of Izzie reached his ears, and he frowned deeply.
"Will you people stop sneaking up on me?" Izzie giggled, her arms looped innocently behind her back. Since the dreams started, Saix found himself noticing the little things about Izzie he never did before. The way one side of her mouth hiked higher than the other side did when she smiled, the small, barely-there freckles on her cheeks and nose, the impossible length of her dark eyelashes…He had thought she was beautiful before, but now she transcended beauty. She was a completely different word that he wasn't sure existed.
"You've got dark circles under your eyes," She said, pulling him out of his reverie. "You wake up every night after only being asleep for an hour. What's going on?"
Oh, you know, just dreaming about you every single night, saying stuff that's gonna eventually give me diabetes and coming this close to doing it.
"Everyone has issues sleeping every now and then." He replied, looking back down to his clipboard.
"Well, you shouldn't be sleeping only an hour a night. You're gonna end up burning out."
"What do you suggest I do?" He'd meant that as a rhetorical question, but Izzie replied,
"I don't know…warm milk?" Saix dropped the arm holding his clipboard; it slapped against his leg.
"Isabella, I'm twenty-four, not four."
"Hey, warm milk helps people relax. You never know."
"You know what might also work in the same aspect? Whiskey."
"Saix!" He ignored her as he pulled Zexion's mission brief and handed it to him. The teenaged Nobody looked from Saix to Izzie as he took the piece of paper, a small smirk on his lips. Saix had half a mind to shove his hand over Zexion's face and push him away, but settled for glaring at him until he turned back toward the couches. Little brat. "Maybe I could help you,"
Izzie's voice caught his attention, and he looked back to her with a skeptical expression on his face.
"And how could you do that?"
"I could sing to you. Or shield you until you fall asleep." At this, Saix barked a laugh, the hard, sarcastic sound startling Izzie and making a few of the others glance at him.
"That is probably the stupidest idea I have ever heard," He told her, shaking his head in disbelief. She put her hands on her hips.
"And why is that?"
"Do you honestly think I could sleep with you watching me?"
"Well it's not like I'd just be staring at you. Besides that-"
"No, Isabella." Saix thoroughly shut her down as other members began heading out.
"But-!"
"I said no, and that's final. Now let me work."
Izzie huffed, but spun on her heel and marched back to Iris, plopping down on the couch. Saix narrowed his eyes. That was a little too easy.
Later that night, after everything was done, and long after everyone else had gone to sleep, Saix stood next to his bed, staring at it like it was his worst enemy. He just knew trying to sleep would be pointless. He had half a mind to go chug half a bottle of Nyquil. That oughtta do the trick. No…because then he ran the risk of sleeping through his alarm. So, sighing deeply and already acknowledging his defeat, he leaned to his left and switched the light on his end table off.
And, like always, his eyes snapped open about an hour later. He turned his face into his pillow and groaned, laying unmoving for a few long minutes before yanking himself up and turning on the lamp.
"That's it, I'm getting the Nyquil."
"It's bad to abuse medicines like that." Saix, who had barely gotten on his feet, spun around, and standing by the door, leaning against his dresser, was Izzie, her posture casual. But something about her was different. He had become used to seeing her looking like a model-perfectly styled hair, expensive clothing, designer shoes, and always accessorized-so the sight of her now surprised him. She had on an oversized T-shirt that fell off one of her shoulders to reveal the thick strap of a tank top underneath, and a pair of old, worn sweatpants with some sort of logo that was mostly gone. Her hair was in a bun that sat on the top of her head, some pieces falling out and hanging around her face, ears, and back of her neck. Somehow, seeing her dressed like this made her even more attractive. Still, Saix crossed his arms, frowning at her.
"How long have you been there?"
"Does it matter?"
"Does to me. Why are you dressed like that?"
"You don't expect Iris and I to be dressed to the nines all the time, do you? Usually after everyone goes to sleep, we dress down." She straightened herself and strolled over to him, her arms looped innocently behind her back. "Having difficulties here?"
"I know what you're thinking, and I thought I told you earlier I don't want any help."
"But you need it. Do you know how bad sleep deprivation is? It can cause serious accidents, high blood pressure and heart attacks, it impairs judgement, and it can dumb you down, just to name a few." Saix huffed, turning his head to the side. "Lay down."
His eyes snapped to look back at Izzie, his eyebrows raising high on his forehead. "Excuse me?"
"I said, lay down. You have four hours until you have to be awake, right? Well each minute you spend standing around is each minute shaved off time you could be using asleep. Chop, chop." Now Saix smiled, but it was a rather mean and sardonic smile.
"No." Izzie moved her hands to her hips.
"I'm sorry, when did you turn into a three-year-old boy?"
"Right around the time you turned into my mother." They stared each other down for a good while before Izzie took a step toward him.
"Lay down."
"No."
"Lay down."
"No."
Izzie shook her head a little, muttering, "Testardo."
Saix frowned. "What-Ah!"
Suddenly his world was flipped upside down as her arms wrapped around his legs and she lifted him off his feet. He bent over her shoulder, his face bumping into the back of one of her knees and his arms brushing the floor. Saix was so much bigger than Izzie, so he forgot that she could physically force him to do whatever she wanted. "You brat!" He yelled. "Let me go!" He struggled against her, kicking his feet and clawing at the floor with one hand while knocking against her leg with the other.
"If you had just listened, I wouldn't have had to do this."
"This is ridiculous! Put. Me. Down!"
"Certainly."
She flipped him forward, tossing him down onto his back on his bed; the moment he began sitting up, she was on top of him, her hands snaking around his wrists like steel cables and shoving him back, holding him down. He scowled up at her.
"Isabella Santoro! Let me go this instant!"
"No, Saix." He let out a fierce growl and struggled underneath her, but she was as unmovable as a statue melded to the ground. "I'm not moving until you swear you'll try this." She told him.
"Ugh! I'm gonna get you for this!" Still, Saix gave up, letting out a sigh and going slack under her. "Fine. Get off me."
Finally, her body unlocked, and she bounced to the other side of the bed, gathering up the sheets and draping them over him. He watched her as she curled up into a ball over the covers, her head resting on her arm, and she lowered her eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Wait,"
She looked at him. "What?"
"Are you going to shield me?"
"That was the plan, yes."
"But it hurts you to do that."
"Yeah, but it's worth it."
Saix stared at her, pressing his lips together. "You're crazy."
"Think what you want, but be quiet and let me do this."
He sighed and turned his eyes to the ceiling, his hands balled into fists on his stomach, and a few moments later, orange tinted his vision. He felt when Izzie's body tensed, but when he risked a glance, he saw that her face was blank, her eyes closed. The shield enveloped him like a big, warm blanket, the phantom arms wrapping around him and the low hum reaching his ears, gentle and soothing. Like before, that same indescribable feeling of peace and calm came over him.
This was the deepest part of Izzie. At her core, she was a calm, loving, open person. Whoever decided to pair her up with a train wreck like him was sadistic, Saix thought. Slowly, hesitantly, he looked back over to her.
Her face was still a mask of calm, but her body was rigid, her right hand balled into a tight fist by her head. "Stop," Unable to take it anymore, he reached over and shook her shoulder. She opened her eyes, but the shield stayed around him.
"Why?"
"I'm hurting you, that's why. Stop, right now."
"Saix, just turn over or something."
"No!" He began propping himself up, and Izzie's hands flashed out, pressing on his chest and keeping him on his back, her arms locking when he struggled against her. "For the love of God, Isabella, if you value my sanity at all, you'll stop it. Didn't you say you could…sing or hum or something? Why don't you try that instead?" She stared at him for a minute, then sighed, the shield drawing back into her body. Saix let out a relieved breath. Thank you.
"Will you at least close your eyes?" She asked.
"Yes." He did as she asked, settling back and shutting his eyes. It was quiet for a moment, and then Izzie began to sing. She didn't say any words, just a series of "na's", but there didn't need to be any lyrics. Her voice, soft and lilted, was nothing short of angelic as she hummed the gentle melody to him. He felt his eyebrows relax, and the tense muscles in his back released. He hadn't realized until now just how tired he was, for suddenly, it was all he could do to stay awake; he wanted to keep listening to her voice. As a feeling of weightlessness came over his body, his mind began getting fuzzy, and just before sleep took him, he thought he felt cold fingers stroking his cheek.
The sudden harsh screeching of his alarm clock jerked Saix awake, making him nearly topple out of bed.
"Shut up, shut up!" He snarled, his hand snapping out and slamming down on it. It silenced immediately. Sighing, he leaned his head back on his pillow. Then he remembered-His head snapped to the side, but the space on the bed next to him was empty. He extended his arm, running it over where she had been laying, but then he remembered she didn't have body heat. Of course there wouldn't be a warm spot left. He sighed and buried his face in his pillow.
Fssh.
The day was rather uneventful. Besides avoiding eye contact with a certain little vampire, everything had gone rather smoothly. Saix wondered if it was because, even though it was only four hours, last night was the best sleep he'd gotten in ten years. He stuck his toothbrush under the running water and began brushing his teeth when he heard the mechanic sound of his door opening and closing. Poking his head from the bathroom, he saw Izzie, sitting pretzel-legged on his bed and flipping through TV channels. He twisted off the water and wiped his mouth.
"Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?"
"Waiting for you," She replied nonchalantly as she came to a show she apparently liked. Something about six friends in a city called New York. Saix gave her a look.
"You seriously think we're gonna do this again?"
"You seriously think your sleeping pattern would change after one night?" She shot back coolly, her eyes fixated on the screen. Saix snatched up the remote and turned the TV off, earning him a dirty look.
"This is not gonna become a regular thing," He told her, his voice sour. "I'm not getting in bed if you insist on staying here tonight." Izzie stared up at him blankly.
"I can always hold you down and sit on your chest, if you want."
"Ugh!" He threw his hands up, exasperated. "You're aging me, you know that? I'm gonna have grey hair by the time you go home." By the time you go home. Those words sent a twinge of pain through both himself and Izzie.
As he sighed, Izzie pulled herself to her knees, staring up at him with huge, puppy dog eyes. "C'mon, Saix. You did fine last night, and today you were in a much better mood. Having me here helps you sleep. So…" She lifted her shoulders and her eyebrows, and Saix shook his head, but moved to the other side of the bed.
"You know, the body has seven trillion nerves in it and you manage to get on every single one of mine." He grumbled as he climbed in, making it a point to turn his back to her.
"Oh, quit your griping." She sounded amused.
Saix awoke, dazed, not fully conscious, to a dark room and the feeling of something cold and hard on his arm. Adrenaline, along with his flight or fight instinct, was coursing through his veins. Believing the threat was still there, he swung his arm, trying to punch at it, but something else cold and hard grabbed his fist.
"Saix, wake up!" He recognized the voice. Lovely and sweet, but marred by worry. It wasn't something he had ever heard in these types of dreams. He could only hear the tortured sounds of his best friend screaming, the metallic clang of cell doors, the sound of the Keyblade that took his heart coming into existence…He thrashed about again.
"Get away!"
"Saix! Saix, it's me! It's Izzie! Wake up!" Hearing her say her name brought him abruptly back to reality, and the haze that was clouding his vision dissipated.
Izzie watched, concerned and confused, as Saix's eyes finally came back to full alert and his body went slack, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Against his ribcage, she could hear his heart going a mile a minute. She wanted to reach out and stroke his face, his hair, but instead fisted her hands against the sheets. She didn't know if he would want to be comforted, and with the knowledge she had about him already, the chances weren't good that he would.
"Are you alright?" She whispered as he pulled himself to a sitting position.
"This is what I was worried about," He mumbled.
"Saix?" His heart rate slowed a bit, and he got his breathing under control.
"I have nightmares," He whispered to her. "About…that day. The day I became this." Izzie swallowed thickly, her throat tight.
"Is that…why you were so resistant to me being here?"
"I didn't want you, out of all people, to see me weak,"
"Saix, you don't have to be strong all the time-"
"You don't get it, do you?" He yanked himself to his feet, raking a hand through his hair and ignoring when he yanked some strands out. "I have to be strong. I'll lose my mind if I'm not." Izzie stood as well, flitting over to him and reaching for him, stopping when he flinched away.
"If you keep up the façade you'll get tired," She told him. "You'll crash and burn. You don't have to pretend around me, tesoro. Do you believe that I would think less of you if you acted vulnerable with me?" Saix didn't say anything, which she took to be his answer. She shook her head. "That's ridiculous. Look, I won't push you, Saix, but you have to understand that I will never expect you to keep up your front. I will never judge you or think less of you, no matter what you do. Remember that."
Saix closed his eyes. There were a lot of things going through his mind that he wanted to say. Some of them so mean he actually hated himself for thinking them, some of them so completely unlike him Izzie would have no idea how to react. So he said, "You're annoying." Ugh. Wrong thing to say.
But Izzie smiled, reaching a hand out to brush his hair back. "You know you love me."
That word, love, made his heart skip a beat, even though he knew she didn't mean it that way. He glowered at her, but it was half-hearted.
"Doesn't make you less annoying." He told her. She merely lifted one of her shoulders, her nose wrinkling cutely.
"So will you let me shield you the rest of the night?"
"Isabella-"
"Just for tonight, Saix. Please?" He sighed, but relented, moving to lie back down. He squeezed his eyes shut before she could shield him, unwilling to watch her tense in pain. For an agonizingly long time, nothing happened, and when he was surrounded by warmth, he couldn't help but relax.
Next thing he knew, it was morning.
…