DISCLAIMER!
This chapter will make fun of a certain "Fire Force" character some people like. Please avoid spontaneously combusting into Infernals and starting a flame war for the good of the internet! Latom!
The Anime Director
Chapter 2
Tamaki Kotatsu's Meeting
Anime Director: Tamaki Teriyaki Kotatsu, my number one #bestgirl! I tell you what, girl, you stick with me and you are gonna be the number one most popular anime girl in all the internet!
Tamaki: Well, I'm grateful that you want to help me, but I'm not really sure if I'm exactly cut out to be the most popular girl on the internet before I even debut.
Anime Director: That's where you're wrong Tamakaioken. You and I are gonna set trends, shatter records, break clichés, make everyone in the community like you! I'm already worked with Miss Green Apple on the opening sequence. We're thinking you fly in with your fire powers, kick the butts of a bunch of infernals, fight on the same level as the main character himself, thus shutting down every boy's pre-concieved notion that an anime girl can't be a hero!
Tamaki: Ooh! I like this!
Anime Director: And then on the first episode where you're introduced, we're gonna have you walk around in your underwear before the protagonist "accidentally" touches your boobs! Directly! BOOM! Female empowerment!
Tamaki: Wait…WHAT!? That just negated everything you depicted in the opening! Showing me getting groped is not empowering! That's just parading me around like a piece of eye-candy!
Anime Director: Eye-candy! I love it! In fact, I'm thinking we lean in EXCLUSIVELY on this one gimmick! You, my girl, are gonna have a lucky lecher lure!
Tamaki: And what the actual flip is that!?
Anime Director: So glad you asked! Sebastian get in here and show Tamaki her new wardrobe!
Sebastian: *Walks into the room with a rack of clothing filled with pieces that are all little more than glorified swimsuits, if that.*
Anime Director: We've been working with our ecchi department to create the greatest in state-of-the-art self-removing clothing.
Tamaki: *turning very red* Self-removing clothing?
Anime Director: Aint no straps, belts, or logic that can hold these clothes down on your body, baby! All you've gotta do is come into contact with a single atom and BOOM! Clothes gone! We get a shot of all your best traits! We've even got some homing virgin-killer sweaters and hentai aprons that latch onto your signature so you don't even have to change in the middle of a shoot!
Tamaki: I didn't sign up to do hentai!
Anime Director: Sex sells, Tamasexy. How are we supposed to last even one season without the fanservice?
Tamaki: I don't know, by actually focusing on a decent story?
Anime Director: Woah! Those are some weird syllables you're uttering. Couldn't understand a word of what you said. So anyway. Let's talk about your powers. Fire's nice. It's hot. I'm lovin' it. Ever consider turning into a catgirl?
Tamaki: Catgirl?
Anime Director: We polled our audience and there is no doubt about it. The Neko is IN! In fact, we're thinking that the less you talk and the more you meow suggestively, the better!
Tamaki: Will I at least get some character development?
Anime Director: Baby, your characters are SUPER developed! Just make sure not to flash the audience when we blow up your clothing. It's not like we're actually porn!
Tamaki: I don't think…I mean…I wasn't asking about my…*sigh* look, I'll work with the fanservice role, I really will, but please tell me that I'm at least going to have some bada** moments in my fight scenes.
Anime Director: Oh Takoyaki, just you wait! We've got BIG plans for your first real fight scene! (And by that I mean you getting wrecked by Rekka before Shinra flies in to save your sorry damsel-in-distress nekomata tail interspersed with some more gratuitous scenes of groping and kissing).
Tamaki: ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME!?
Anime Director: Woah! Woah! Woah! What did I say about talking!? Nya and pose like a begging cat from now on! And what are these shirt and pants doing here!? Sebastian! Get the catgirl undressed!
Tamaki: Nya? *Gets knocked out by Sebastian before being dragged away*
Anime Director: All in a good day's work. You my girl, Tamaki, are gonna be the absolute best part of this series! Sebastian! When you're done with her, send in the lead costume designer for Highschool DxD and Monster Musume. Yeah, we're going to have to make some more MAJOR cuts in the clothing department.
Ending A/N: Thank you all for reading, reviewing, and enjoying these little skits I've been doing as a bit of relaxation between my more serious works (please check those out if you haven't done so. There are a several mindless parodies, but a few a gems I've actually tried to polish into something meaningful). Without further ado, let's respond to your reviews!
PinkRose2006
Anime Director: Oh baby, let me tell Yougi! This series was Kaiba my best work! I really put my whole Heart of the Cards into it!
Doom King of Latveria
Donjusticia: *Sweats nervously* Uh…YEAH! I've…uh…TOTALLY never heard of Dorkly! This whole series comes EXCLUSIVELY from my own brilliance and is not a TOTAL rip-off of those hilarious skits!
Any Reader with Half a Brain: Donny is a moron who can't come up with anything original.
Donjusticia: PLAGARISM NO JUTSU! *throws down a smoke bomb and runs away*
Epsilon Tarantula
Thank you for reading this crap. (Really, it means a lot, even though I KNOW this whole series is stupid and lazy in comparison to some of my other works). This guy actually (reluctantly) helped beta-read my stupid skits, even though he DEFINITELY had much better things to do with his limited time, so everyone PLEASE thank him.
That's all for now.