Love At First Sight
Chirpy might have been a chocobo, but he knew a lot about love.
There were different kinds of love. There was the fatherly love Sazh had for Dajh. It was what made the older man's eyes go all misty whenever another year rolled past and Dajh got that little bit taller and broader at the shoulders.
Then there was sisterly love. He had a lot of examples for that. There was Fang and Vanille, Lightning and Serah, and Averia and Diana. Sisterly love was why Lightning let Serah boss her around, and why Fang never seemed to mind Vanille's mischief. And only sisterly love could possibly explain all the strangeness Averia put up with from Diana.
And of course there was romantic love. Chirpy saw lots of that too. Every time Vanille and Hope came around, it took everything he had not to throw up from all the googly eyes they made at each other. And the less often Serah and Snow decided to get all cuddly beside the chocobo pen, the better.
And then there was that… weird kind of love between Fang and Lightning. Chirpy had seen a lot of married couples during his time at the ranch, but none of them acted like those two. If he didn't know better, he'd have sworn Fang and Lightning hated each other. Most of their conversations were a mix of veiled threats, name calling, teasing and physical violence (Lightning was a skilled proponent of the head whack and the left hook, whereas Fang preferred to pinch cheeks and go with the overhand right).
But despite all the strangeness – and it was strange, even to a chocobo – it was clear that Fang and Lightning did love each other. They even had two of Chirpy's favourite children to show for it (Claire rounded out the top three since Dajh wasn't really a kid anymore).
But despite everything Chirpy knew about love, he never thought he'd actually find it for himself. Sure, he wanted a few chicks of his own – all chocobos did – but he wasn't like most chocobos. The other chocobos thought he was strange for liking people so much, and to them kids like Diana weren't cute and friendly; they were just shorter adults who made a lot of noise. Maybe it was because he'd spent so much time around people when he was a chick, but he couldn't help how he'd been raised, and he wouldn't trade the adventure he'd been on for anything.
So imagine his surprise when he finally ran into another chocobo who liked people as much as he did. He didn't know her name, but the first time he saw her, she was over in one of the other pens with a group of visiting school children. Unlike the others, she didn't seem to mind one bit when they reached out to pet her, and she even gave a few of the more daring children a ride. The children were awed by how friendly she was and Chirpy… well, he was just awed. He'd never seen such a beautiful chocobo.
Her feathers were deep red with vivid yellow tips. It was almost like the Maker had caught the sunrise and the sunset and draped them over a chocobo. Her eyes were a warm blue, and her beak was a sleek, graceful curve. Even her claws were pretty. It took him a few seconds to realise he was staring, and by the time he noticed, his heart had begun to pound.
Uh oh.
Unless everything he knew about romantic love was wrong, he was in some serious trouble.
Other chocobos might have been put off by the idea of courting such a lovely chocobo, but Chirpy was made of sterner stuff. He'd faced down all manner of horrors with the former l'Cie, so trying to talk to another chocobo couldn't possibly be that difficult.
Wrong.
His first attempt to talk to her had ended in pathetic failure. He'd waited until he could join her in the other pen, and then he'd sidled over to squawk what he hoped was a suave greeting. Things had gone well right up until the point she'd looked at him. Then all he'd been able to manage was a strangled squawk that sounded more like a parrot before he tripped over his own feet and fell onto his face.
At least he'd gotten her to laugh – and what a lovely laugh it was.
His attempts to get to know the other chocobo better continued in more or less the same fashion – with him making an idiot of himself – until salvation appeared in the form of one of his favourite people: Fang.
"Yo."
Chirpy wandered over the edge of the pen and looked around. Normally, Fang came with the girls, but neither Diana nor Averia was there.
"Kweh?"
"They're not here today, Chirpy. You see I got a call from one of the handlers. They said you were acting strange, making funny noises and falling over all the time. Since Sazh and Dajh aren't here, I thought I'd drop by and see how you were." Fang hopped onto the fence and leaned over to pat Chirpy's feathers. "So, care to tell me what's going on?"
Chirpy took a few moments to think things over. Should he tell Fang about his problems? True, she wasn't a chocobo, but she never seemed to have problems attracting men or women, even when she wasn't trying. Of course, she didn't want anything to do with those men and women, and even if she did, they wouldn't have gotten past Lightning. So maybe Fang could help him. Casting a meaningful look at the beautiful female chocobo on the other side of the pen, Chirpy explained his problem as best he could.
"Kweh… kweh kweh! Kweh!"
Fang stared at him in silence for a full minute before she burst out laughing. Her laughter was so loud, one of the ranch hands turned to look until she waved him away. The nerve of her! Chirpy did his best to push her off the fence, but Fang managed to keep her balance.
"Sorry, sorry… it's just… well, I didn't even know chocobos could have problems like that." Fang bit back another snigger. "I thought you just kind of picked out your mates and well, you know."
With a huff, Chirpy pecked her in the leg. "Kweh, kweh!"
"Fine, I get it." Fang held up one hand and rubbed her leg with the other. He hadn't pecked her hard, but it was enough to get his point across. "You're not animals – well, you are – but you've got your own courtship thing going on and all that."
"Kweh." Chirpy nodded sagely. "Kweh."
"So you want my advice?" Fang grinned. "All right, the first thing you need to do is talk to her."
Chirpy rolled his eyes. He'd tried that already. "Kweh!"
"You've been going about it all wrong. Don't worry about trying to get her to fall in love with you and all that. Instead, try to get to know her."
"Kweh!"
"Your tongue gets all tied up and you trip over your own feet?" Fang smirked. "Welcome to the rest of the world, Chirpy. People in love have been making idiots of themselves since the dawn of time. Heck, one of the reasons I teased Lightning so much when we first met was because I couldn't get my brain and my mouth to work at the same time. Instead of saying something nice, all I could do was tease her. I'm lucky she didn't stab me – well, she tried, but I'm lucky she didn't succeed."
"Kweh?"
"No… I don't think teasing that other chocobo would work for you. Lightning is kind of strange that way." Fang patted Chirpy on the shoulder. "Look, you've got to try and relax. She's new here, right? Then she probably needs someone to talk to. Start simple: ask her about where she's from and what sorts of things she likes. Let it be all about her. Most people like talking about themselves. Well, unless they're like Lightning."
Chirpy sniggered. "Kweh."
"Yes, you're right. Lightning's hair does make her look a bit like the hedgehog she acts like. Now, get over there and give it a try. I'll be right here for moral support. Remember, we faced down the fal'Cie. There's no way you can't find the courage to talk to one pretty chocobo."
"Kweh!"
That got a roll of Fang's eyes. "Fine, one beautiful chocobo."
Fifteen minutes later and Chirpy felt like he could run on air. After a bit of hemming and hawing, he'd finally managed to string a few coherent sentences together to the other chocobo. Her name was Chocolina, and she had the voice of a silver bell. It turned out that she was from the same part of Cocoon as him. When Cocoon had fallen, she'd been raised by an explorer and had accompanied him until he'd decided to retire a few weeks ago.
Over the next fortnight, Chirpy spent a lot of time with Chocolina. She didn't seem to mind the fact that he liked people a lot, and she always had time for one of his stories about the former l'Cie and their children. He couldn't wait to introduce her to the girls.
Finally, the day came when Lightning dropped by with Diana and Averia.
"Chirpy!"
Chirpy looked up as Diana and Averia raced toward the pen. As usual, Averia was in the lead right up until Diana jumped onto her back and demanded a piggyback. In yet another display of sisterly love, Averia agreed and somehow managed to climb to the top of the fence with her giggling burden.
"Kweh kweh?" Chocolina asked.
"Kweh." Chirpy was very familiar with the two crazy human children. "Kweh."
A smile crossed Chocolina's face. So these were the Diana and Averia Chirpy had mentioned. Based on some of his stories, she'd half-expected Averia to be an ogre and Diana to be a raccoon. Careful not to move to quickly, she ambled over to the girls and gave them a polite sniff. They smelled of grass and sunshine and a few other things she couldn't quite place. They also smelled of… treats?
"Who are you?" the littler girl asked. "You weren't here last time we visited."
"Kweh."
"Her name is Chocolina," Lightning said as she ambled over to stand beside the pen. Chirpy came over and she reached over to run her fingers through his feathers. "She's new here, I think. Your mommy mentioned her, remember." She gave Chirpy an amused look.
"Oh." Diana squinted at Chocolina. "Is she the chocobo you like, Chirpy?"
It was almost enough to make Chirpy cry. He loved Diana, he really, really did, but she had absolutely no talent for keeping secrets. Averia leaned over to clamp one hand over Diana's mouth, but the damage was already done. Chocolina looked over at him with wide eyes.
"Kweh?"
"Diana, we were supposed to keep that a secret!" Averia hissed.
"Oops." Diana looked at Chocolina and held out a treat. "I'll give you this if you pretend you didn't here me."
Chirpy wanted to bash his head on the fencepost, but he couldn't, not with Chocolina right there. With nothing else to lose, he decided to go for it. "Kweh… kweh kweh."
For what seemed like forever, Chocolina stared at him and then… then she moved forward and rubbed her cheek against his.
"Kweh kweh kweh."
Chirpy froze. She liked him back. She actually liked him back. Suddenly, it didn't matter that Diana had blurted out his secret – Chocolina liked him back.
"Kweh!"
X X X
Lightning grinned at Fang. "It turns out that Chocolina likes Chirpy too."
"That so?" The kids were in the living room watching television and talking about their day with Chirpy while she and Lightning lingered over a glass of wine at the dinner table. "I knew he'd be fine. Our Chirpy is one cool chocobo."
"The kids seem to like her. She even took them for a few rides. Chirpy carried all three of us for a while too."
"He was probably trying to show off." Fang took another sip of her wine. "I wonder if we'll have to worry about him having chicks anytime soon."
"Maybe, but we'll have to call Sazh then. He should know if he's going to have grandchildren."
"Grandchildren? I suppose that's one way of thinking about it, since Chirpy is practically a son to him."
The girls hurried in from the living room.
"Mommy, is Chirpy going to get married?"
"Married?" Fang looked at Lightning for help, but the other woman merely leaned back and poured herself more wine. Traitor.
"Yeah," Diana said. "If Chirpy and Chocolina like each other and want to have kids, they have to get married!"
"Actually…" Fang trailed off, but it was too late.
"Actually what?"
Fang glanced at Averia. The older of the two girls understood that people didn't always get married before having children, so maybe she could field the question in Fang's place. No dice – Averia was giving her the exact same look that Lightning usually did. Fang had dug her own grave, now it was time for her to lie down in it.
"You see…"
"What?" Diana frowned. "Don't people have to be married to have kids?"
"Well…" Fang winced. "It's like this…"
What followed was one of the most awkward conversations that the Yun-Farron household would ever bear witness to. On the upside, Fang managed to avoid using the word 'bastard'. If she had, Lightning would have killed her.
X X X
A few weeks later, Fang was checking the mail when she came across a finely decorated envelope. The invitation inside it began:
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Chirpy and Chocolina…
X X X
Author's Notes
As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
I've been working on a research paper recently, so I was in the mood for something a bit more light hearted and this was the most light hearted thing I could think of.
For those of you wondering where it came from, we need to all the way back to the first few chapters of Ordinary Heroes. When I first started writing that, Final Fantasy XIII-2 wasn't out yet, and we didn't know anything about the gender or real identity of the chocobo chick from Final Fantasy XIII. Since I liked the chocobo chick, I decided to come up with my own name and identity – Chirpy was the result of that process.
Then Final Fantasy XIII-2 came out and suddenly the chocobo chick was male and named Chocolina. I could have changed everything then, but I decided to stick with Chirpy. Now, a number of reviewers have pointed out this discrepancy, and quite a few of them have also asked me if I intend to do anything about it. I guess you could say that this chapter is my answer.
Chocolina's appearance in this chapter is modelled after her appearance in Final Fantasy XIII-2 (at least in terms of colour). Her accompanying an explorer is a nod at her tendency to, well, appear in a lot of places and times in Final Fantasy XIII-2.
On an unrelated note, in the next month or so, I will be releasing three short stories on Amazon as eBooks (the term short story is deceptive, since they are each between 15,000 and 20,000 words long). One is a high fantasy, another is a darker fantasy, and the third is a paranormal Western. If you want to follow what's going on with those, I'll keep you updated on my blog and deviant art (see my profile for links – I've started a separate blog pertaining to original fiction and writing related stuff). I've also got a post up on my blog talking about how you can learn to write better by looking more closely at what you read (i.e., reading to learn as opposed to simply reading to enjoy). Check it out!
As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.