-"You almost got me with the cheese." Weiss looked ready to puke again.
"That maggot-infested atrocity was the most disgusting experience in my life."
.
We were enjoying some heart to heart, after all, we were now Husband and Wife.
-"Why didn't you just call it quits then?"
.
She fetched her scroll and showed me a document. The title said Thesis on Crazy. It was ripe with my ancestor's deeds.
-"Reading the great lengths your family will go to preserve their promises, an idea struck me. Why fear a ruinous divorce when I can snag a man who is UNABLE to break his vows?"
.
I was reluctant and it showed on my face.
-"You ate the maggots to marry me? You ate the maggots to avoid a divorce?"
.
She turned green at the gills and made a quick trip to the sink.
After rinsing her mouth, she took her place again in the bed and laid her head over my shoulder.
-"New rule for our marriage. No mentioning that accursed cheese ever again."
.
I couldn't help it.
-"What about the Chicha?"
.
Weiss tapped her lips with a broken fingernail.
-"Truth to be told, that wasn't so bad."
.
-"Then why did you subject yourself to the che-"
.
She rounded on me with murderous intent.
.
I corrected myself.
-"-eek of this fine specimen of Valean crazyness?"
.
-"35 Billon lien."
.
I blinked.
-"You cannot expect me to pay that bride price."
.
She smiled and caressed my cheek.
-"My sweet naïve dolt. That would be the low estimate of my loss in the event of a divorce. Even with ironclad prenuptials, there's always the possibility the court will dismiss them."
She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
"But you, my dear Lieutenant Jaune Frederick von Arc? An Arc never goes back on their word."
She smelled herself and made a face.
"This one will clean herself and then we shall continue this talk in a more suitable place."
.
I was left in the bed, reading her scroll while Weiss started to sing under the shower.
.
I have been played.
I have been played from the beginning.
My head hit the wall and dust rained on me from the ceiling. I coughed up and saw the green light blipping on my scroll.
Buddy, we really hit it off with Blakey. We plan on announcing it on the night of Beacon's Ball.
Cardin.
.
I smiled despite of myself.
You guys will change the world. I imagine the look on ….
My brain came to a halt.
And a slow giggle assaulted me. My cheeks hurt and tears leaped free.
.
I grabbed Weiss' scroll again and perused the contact's list. Father.
The imposing figure of Jacques Schnee eyed me critically across the screen, without any effort to hide his contempt at my appearance.
-"What is the meaning of this?!"
.
I display a full-blown smile that would have creeped out even the Cheshire cat.
-"Hi daddy. About the bride price…."
.
Mr. Schnee leaned back. He patted his cheek with a finger.
-"Trying to avoid it? Tut, tut ...what a shame."
.
My smile broadened, even more, almost splitting my face.
-"What if I told you...I know how to deal once and for all with Faunus' conflicts? Wouldn't that be ...priceless?"
.
My now father-in-law arched an eyebrow.
-"Guaranteed?"
.
My inner self was cackling while my outer self only noded.
-"Arc's word."
.
Jacques Schnee, the owner of the Schnee Dust Company and Remnant's richest billionaire, took a bottle of brandy from below his desk and gave it a large pull.