Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the supportive and positive reviews. I had been a little bit scared to post this story because of the subject matter. One can suffer from depression and fake being happy especially around one's children.

I am also glad that I am not the only person who finds it believable that Scarlett could suffer from a deep depression and PTSD. She would suffer because she would not have the emotional skills to deal with her grief or the trauma.

Chapter Two

When they arrived in Atlanta Rhett and Bonnie had feathers and paint on their faces. Everyone was smiling at them indulgently. Scarlett just offered Rhett her cheek. He kissed her and she linked her arm in his. Rhett got a porter to get their trunks to the carriage. On their way to the house Wade and Ella told Rhett and Bonnie all the happenings of the last month. When they were quiet for a minute Rhett asked Scarlett, "What are the going-ons of the county?"

Scarlett gave him a perfunctory smile and said, "Nothing. Precious, what did you do while we were away?"

Bonnie then launched into a string of sentences that were totally incoherent to Scarlett but Ella understood all of it and asked questions in the right places. Scarlett smiled at Ella and thought, 'She is so wonderful.' Rhett was secretly staring at Scarlett. She didn't look much better than she had a month ago. She was still too thin and frail. When he looked in her eyes it scared him because there was nothing but emptiness there. He couldn't imagine Scarlett without her fire. They got to the house and everyone got out. Rhett just lifted Scarlett out of the carriage.

When she was on the ground, she looked at him and said, "Thank you." Wade had waited for her and she took his arm. He helped her up the stairs into the house. Scarlett patted Wade's arm and smiled sweetly at him. She smiled at him like he was the most important person in her world. She moved slowly into the house. She was moving like an old woman. Rhett guessed she was scared about falling and hurting herself more. After they were in the house Scarlett stood in the foyer for a long while staring at the staircase. She had to catch her breath after she saw the staircase. Her heart was pounding and she was sweating. She took deep breaths and waited for them to have their calming effect. She smiled when she thought, 'Where is Ella?" As she was thinking this Ella slipped her hand into Scarlett's. Scarlett squeezed Ella's hand and they both just stood there. As she was standing there calming herself, Mammy came down the stairs to greet her. Mammy fussed over Scarlett and Scarlett smiled an indulgent smile at Mammy. Scarlett didn't shoo her away which is what she normally would have done. All that fussing helped Scarlett calm down. It made her feel good that someone cared about her. Finally, Scarlett said, "I am going to lay down and take a nap. Would you have a dinner tray sent to my room?" After Mammy nodded her head, Scarlett and Ella walked to the servant's staircase and went upstairs. Wade followed his mother and sister to the other staircase. Rhett gave Bonnie to Mammy to get her ready for dinner. Rhett just continued standing there staring after Scarlett.

Scarlett laid down on her bed. She had neither stays or a corset on and she had decided to not ever wear a corset again. It hurt too much to wear a corset. She no longer wanted to be the cutest thing in shoe leather so she didn't need a tiny waist. Before long Pansy had brought her a tray with her dinner on it. She ate the fruit and half of the sandwich and then put the tray outside her door.

As she had stared at the staircase, she knew she didn't really know what had happened. She knew she and Rhett were fighting and she had lost her balance. She had almost died right there over a stupid argument with Rhett. It was something to do with the baby. The baby she had wanted and lost. That made her want to cry but she managed not to cry. Instead she thought about her dying, she knew the only people who would miss her would be Mammy, Ella, Wade and Melanie. She knew Bonnie would only miss her briefly because she had no relationship with Bonnie and she could not blame Rhett. She had not tried to have a relationship with any of her children. When Wade was a baby, she had been too young to be a good mother to him, with Ella she had been another burden on her already full shoulders, and when Bonnie was born it was the first time, she had been having fun in years. She would work on developing a relationship with her living children. That she had energy for. When she was with them, she didn't feel so sad.

She had asked God several times a day why she had been saved. She didn't want to live. One day while she was pondering this question, she had seen sweet Ella and had known that the reason she lived was to love and protect her. She hadn't wanted another child when she got pregnant with Ella but she did love the child. She was all that was left of Frank. Ella didn't have anyone but her mother. Ella only had two sorry aunts. The one on the Kennedy side, her Aunt Martha, had not seen Ella more than three times in her entire life. She would not take Ella in because of the cost. She knew Suellen wouldn't either because Ella reminded her of Scarlett's stealing of Frank. If Scarlett died there wouldn't be anyone to take her in. If she died Ella would have no one and where ever she ended up she would probably end up being abused. Melly would take her and Wade in but if Melly died then they would be left for Ashley to raise. None of her children were going to be raised by that worthless piece of humanity. She didn't know of any man she would want Wade to emulate but certainly not that spineless creature Ashley Wilkes. Bonnie had Rhett to love her. Rhett might take her children in but they would always be second to Bonnie. She didn't want Wade emulating Rhett Butler either. She didn't want Wade to think that it was alright to talk to one's wife the way Rhett talked to her. She didn't want Wade to think blatantly cheating on your wife with a whore was acceptable.

No matter how bad she felt she would stay alive for Wade and Ella. She was all they had. Every day she would spend time with Wade and Ella no matter what. She had started telling them she loved them. The first time she said it they were shocked and didn't know what to say but now when she told them they said it back to her. It made her feel so good.

She wished she had the energy to try to make new friends but the truth was she knew she was not a likable person so she wasn't going to bother. She finally cried herself to sleep.

After she woke up from her nap, she went to the nursery to check on Wade and Ella. As it turned out all three of her children were there. She sat in the easy chair and just watched them. She kept a smile on her face the entire time. Wade and Ella would talk to her every now and then. It was a relaxed atmosphere. They were getting use to her being around and now that she was no longer yelling at them, they found her easy to be around. Bonnie had come over and asked to sit in Scarlett's lap which she had allowed. Scarlett did wish Bonnie would stop squirming because every time she hit Scarlett's ribs it hurt but Scarlett was not going to put her down. It was the longest she had gotten to hold Bonnie her entire life.

Bonnie threw herself against her mother and said, "I missed you." Scarlett thought that is worth all the pain.

Scarlett said, "I missed you, too." Scarlett hugged Bonnie even though it hurt so much. Soon Bonnie wanted down and reluctantly Scarlett let her go. Wade was telling Scarlett all about the book he was reading and when he finished talking Scarlett said, "I would like to read it when you get finished. Will you lend it to me?"

Wade was beaming and he said, "Of course."

Scarlett stood up and said, "I will see you at supper."

All the children smiled at her and said, "Bye."

Scarlett went to the back staircase and went downstairs. She went to Rhett's library and started looking for a book. She found one that seemed interesting and decided to read a few pages to see if she was going to like it or not. When she heard the clock chime the five o'clock hour, she had read two chapters. She thought, 'I think I will like this book.' She went up the back staircase and into her room. She rang for Pansy and got ready for supper. She sat in her room reading until it was five to six and she went down the back staircase and into the dining room. She was sitting at her place just staring out into space. Rhett and the children came in the room noisily and Scarlett looked at them. Rhett said, "Where have you been? I have been looking for you."

Scarlett said, "I was in my room."

Rhett said, "I looked there."

Scarlett just stared at him. She didn't feel the need to say more. Rhett finally said, "Mr. Wilkes would like to buy you out of your part of the mills. I told him you wouldn't sell because if you did then you wouldn't be able to tell him how to run his business."

Scarlett said, "I will sell to him. When does he want to do this?"

Rhett stared at her. No questions, no unkind comments, no wondering where he got the money, no hesitation. What was going on? Rhett said, "It seems he has come into a windfall and he would like to use the money to buy the mills completely."

Scarlett said, "He would be better off selling his half of the mills instead of buying my half. C'est la vie. When?"

Rhett was still perplexed but he said, "I will arrange it for tomorrow afternoon."

Scarlett said, "Great. I want to sell the store too if you know of anyone wanting to buy that."

Rhett said, "Why?"

Scarlett said, "I no longer want to work. I don't need to work. I would rather spend time with my children." And she smiled at all her children individually but she didn't even look at Rhett. Rhett asked lots of questions to Wade and Ella about their activities at Tara. At last Rhett turned his questioning gaze on Scarlett and said, "How is Suellen doing?'

Scarlett said, "Fine. We bought her a horse and buggy."

Rhett said, "Why did we do that?"

Scarlett said, "I needed a mode of transportation while I was there. I couldn't ride a horse and Will needed the wagon for his daily farming. I will pay you back if you think it was a useless expenditure."

Rhett said, "No. That is fine." This was strange too. Scarlett usually didn't tell him about purchases she made. He had to ask her about them when the checks came in.

Scarlett stood up and said, "It's time to get ready for bed. Let's go."

Wade and Ella got up and walked out of the room with Scarlett. Suddenly Bonnie jumped off Rhett's lap and was running after them. He heard Scarlett saying, "I can't pick you up right now, Precious. Give me a couple of months until Mother's ribs are healed." He didn't hear any crying or wailing so he guessed Bonnie was alright with having to walk. He sat there and waited for the crying to begin that meant Bonnie was putting up a fight about going to bed. And he waited. And he waited. An hour later he went upstairs to find the hall light on, the door to the nursery open and Bonnie sound asleep in the spare bed next to Ella's bed. Rhett walked down the hall and saw Scarlett's door open with the light on. He walked in like he owned the house. Scarlett was sitting in her bed with a book. He cleared his throat to get her attention. She held up one finger then in about thirty seconds she turned to look at him. That is all she did. She didn't speak. She didn't smile. She just stared at him with her blank eyes. Rhett said, "How did you get Bonnie to sleep?"

Scarlett said, "I sang them a couple of songs then read about three stories."

Rhett said, "I guess you found a sliver of maternal talent in your body." Rhett looked at Scarlett and she didn't react. Her eyes were still blank and dull. She turned her head back to her book and he said, "The Wilkes will be here tomorrow at 1."

Scarlett didn't take her eyes off of the book but she said, "Alright."

Rhett said, "Good night. I'm going to Belle's"

Scarlett said, "Good night." She never took her eyes off of her book.

Rhett left the house. He wanted a couple of drinks and maybe a few hands of poker. He also wanted some female companionship. He saw Belle but he didn't have a conversation with her. This was the first time he had been here for any length of time since he had run away from Scarlett all those months ago. While Scarlett was sick, he had stayed at the house. When she was at Tara, he didn't want to leave Bonnie alone for that long with only Mammy to take care of her. Now that Scarlett was home, he was going to have some fun. He was on his way home by eleven and in bed by twelve without going upstairs at Belle's. He saw Scarlett's door was open but he was sure that wasn't an invitation for him. He didn't know why he hadn't gone upstairs but he didn't want to. Actually, he knew why, he wanted his wife not some whore. Soon she would make him mad and he would be over those feelings. He was almost asleep when he heard her crying and wailing. He laid there willing the sound away and suddenly it was gone. He got up to see what had happened. He got to Scarlett's door and he heard Ella say, "It's okay Mother. He's in heaven."

Then he heard Scarlett say, "I know but I miss him so much."

Ella said, "There, there, there"

Scarlett said, "You are the only person who cares for me."

Ella said, "Wade and Aunt Melly do too."

Scarlett said, "That's true. And Mammy, of course. Come get in the bed. I sleep best with you beside me even if you do steal the covers."

Rhett heard Ella giggle and the bedsheets rustle. Then he didn't hear anything at all.

Rhett laid in his bed and thought about what Ella had said. Did he treat his wife so badly that even simple Ella didn't think he cared for her? What about her not mentioning Bonnie either? Did they think Bonnie didn't care either or did they excuse her because of her age? When was the last time he had done anything nice for his wife? When was the last time he had said anything nice to his wife? He was angry because she hadn't called for him but why would she if she thought he hated her? Had he done too good a job of hiding his feelings? And who was she talking about that was in heaven. He knew it wasn't her Pa although she did miss him, she wouldn't be having a nightmare. Maybe he could find out from Ella. He finally went to sleep.