Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for the reviews. I am so honored that you have taken the time to review and make suggestions on my story.

Scarlett would never have the emotional skills to get herself out of a melancholic state of mind so she is going to make a new friend. A friend who will be a natural therapist. You will meet her at the end of the chapter.

Rhett and Scarlett both have a real problem with saying 'I'm sorry.' We will need patience in regard to that.

Chapter Five

After Rhett overheard Scarlett's conversation with Mammy, he asked her if he could move back into the master bedroom. Scarlett stared at him and said, "Do what you want to do. I don't care." Not the welcome he would have wanted but more of a welcome than he could rightly expect. That day he had all his belongings moved back into the master bedroom.

Melanie was dragging Scarlett to all the sewing bees, committee meetings and visiting again. When they were in the carriage going or coming from these events Scarlett had a little life to her. She was trying to be happy for Melly's sake because Melly worried so about her. Scarlett wasn't fooling Melly but Melly didn't know how to help her. Melly knew she was melancholic over the baby. Melly also knew that Scarlett was suffering because of all the ugly things people were saying about her. Every time Melly had brought the subject up Scarlett had assured Melly she was fine. Melly didn't know what to do to help her dear sister in law.

At the events Scarlett didn't try at all. She just sat there and let the conversation flow around her without participating. Everyone noticed how lifeless Scarlett was but nobody said anything to her but they were certainly talking about her.

Around the first of October about six weeks after her return from Tara she was sitting on the sofa at one of the sewing bees. She was practically hidden from view by the back of the sofa. Scarlett heard two women talking about her. Anna May Bartell said, "I think the reason Scarlett is so lifeless is that she got caught and now she is having to pay the price for her sins. I don't believe anything happened between Scarlett and Mr. Wilkes. I don't believe it because Mr. Wilkes is too fine a gentleman."

Opal Williams said, "Do you think Captain Butler believes something happened?"

Anna May said, "I definitely think he believes his wife was unfaithful to him. Why else would he leave with his child and be gone so long. I didn't think he was coming back. Probably not the first time either. She has always been a fast piece."

Opal said, "I heard she was pregnant and Captain Butler threw her down the stairs to cause a miscarriage. He knew the child wasn't his. You know they sleep in separate bedrooms."

Anna May said, "It makes you wonder if Bonnie is really Captain Butler's daughter. She looks so much like Scarlett anyone could be her father."

Both women laughed and Opal said, "Shame on you, Anna May." But they didn't stop laughing.

The women walked away still talking. Scarlett reached for her handkerchief. She would not let them see her cry but she did give a bitter smile. The only positive thing about this whole affair was her baby wouldn't be thought of as a bastard. She knew that there was no doubt in anyone's mind who Bonnie's father was but it really hurt that people would joke about it. When would people ever stop talking about her?

As they were riding home later that day Scarlett asked Melly something she had been wanting to know since she had woken up after her fall. Scarlett said, "Where was Rhett when I was so sick?"

Melly looked at her with a startled expression and said, "He was in the next room. He was waiting to hear how you were." She didn't mention that he was drinking heavily.

Scarlett said, "Why didn't he come see me when I called for him?"

Melly said, "No one heard you call for him."

Scarlett said, "Why wasn't he in the room with me? Why was he in the other room?"

Melly said a little embarrassed, "Dr. Meade banished him from the room because he was so emotional."

Scarlett said, "Rhett was overly emotional? No, I don't believe it. Rhett never loses control of his emotions." Then she paused and said, "If he was it must have been because of the baby."

Melly said, "Darling he loves you. I know he has a strange way of showing it but he really does."

Scarlett said, "Oh Melly you need to stop reading those romance novels you like so well." Scarlett just shook her head.

Melly said, "Darling if you don't believe me ask Mammy. She was there also."

Scarlett turned to Melly and said, "I love you better than I love my own sisters. You are the greatest gift God has ever given me."

Melly blushed and said, "I love you too. You are the sister of my heart."

Melly didn't say anything else the rest of the way home. Melly wondered how two such proud people could not see they loved each other.

Later that day Scarlett wondered if she could salvage her reputation. Not for her sake but for Wade and Ella's sake. Probably not. Rhett had put the final nail in her coffin of her reputation when he ran off after spending three days at Belle's. If he had taken an ad out in the paper, he could not have said it any clearer to the good people of Atlanta, "I don't believe my wife is innocent." Maybe she, Wade and Ella could move out West and start anew. Or moved to London or New York where money could buy her a reputation. She certainly didn't have a future here.

The next day Scarlett found Rhett in his office and said to him, "Before you went to Charleston you offered me a divorce if I gave you Bonnie. I accept. If you give me half a million dollars, I will take Wade and Ella and leave your life forever. You can have custody of Bonnie. She will never even know I am gone."

Rhett said, "Scarlett I do not want a divorce."

Scarlett said, "I will leave thus preserving your reputation. You can tell everyone I abandoned you."

Rhett closed his eyes and said, "I do not want a divorce."

Scarlett stood up and said, "The offer is on the table if you change your mind." She walked out of the room.

Rhett got up and poured himself a drink. And another. He had threatened her with a divorce to torture her. He had not been serious but she was serious. She wanted a divorce. He indeed had done too good a job of hiding his feelings. He didn't need to worry about her ever realizing he loved her. How could he convince her that he didn't hate her but in fact loved her?

After her conversation with Rhett Scarlett had sought Mammy out. When she found Mammy, she made the older woman go out to the back yard with her. Scarlett sat down on the lawn furniture and offered Mammy a seat. Mammy had refused because it wouldn't be proper. Scarlett had so many questions that she couldn't get answers to but she would get an answer to at least this question and said, "Who is Phillipe?"

Mammy said, "Phillipe? I don't know any Phillipe?"

Scarlett actually smiled. Mammy couldn't tell a lie either. Scarlett just stared at her and said, "I know he was someone special to my mother. She was calling for him on her death bed. If you don't tell me I will find someone who will. I bet Aunt Eulalie would love to tell me or I can just go to Savannah and find the local busybody who will be glad to tell me all the horrible details."

Mammy sighed and sat down on the bench. She pleaded, "Miss Scarlett." All Mammy saw were hard, cold, green eyes looking back at her. Mammy sighed and said, "He was your mother's true love."

With that statement Scarlett felt her world collapse. The pain was so sharp and intense. Her mother had not loved her father. Her world shifted again. Her sainted mother was not such a saint after all. She felt herself begin to sweat and she was having trouble catching her breath. She focused on her breathing until her breathing returned to normal. She pushed down the urge to vomit. She told herself, 'Just get through this and you can collapse later.' She pulled herself together and said, "Go on."

Mammy told her that her mother had fallen in love with her cousin but he wasn't good enough for her according to her father. Ellen had always been her father's favorite. He would not let Ellen and Phillipe marry because Phillipe was wild and poor. Phillipe had gone to New Orleans to make his fortune but unfortunately, he had died there instead. The day she found out he was dead was the same day Scarlett's Pa had proposed. Ellen gave her father a choice he could support her marriage to Gerald O'Hara or she would go into a convent. At that point Ellen didn't really care. Her father decided that his daughter being married to an Irishman from the backwoods of Georgia was better than her becoming a nun. Ellen never spoke to her father again. She was just fifteen when she married Scarlett's Pa.

Scarlett thanked Mammy and got up and walked into the house. She now knew why she was a bad mother. She had not had a good example of how to be a mother. Her mother had done her duty. She had borne her husband six children, run his plantation, tutored her daughters on how to be proper ladies and had never felt anything. Her mother had died the same day Phillipe had died. Most of Scarlett wished her mother had gone into the convent. She smiled to herself when she thought, 'Careen and I did the same thing our mother had done. Made a life altering decision at too young an age.' She was nothing. Yes, her mother had been a Robillard but as far as most people were concerned, she was just the daughter of an Irish peasant. Most people had always thought she was just a fast piece. Now she knew why they thought that of her. She wished Rhett would let her go away. Anywhere would be better than here. She hurt so bad. Everything she had believed was false.

Later that day before supper Rhett found her rolled up in a ball in the middle of her bed. He could tell she had been crying. He found a quilt and placed it over her and arranged to have a tray sent to her room for supper. He wondered what had happened to upset her so much. He knew it wasn't their discussion about a divorce. She had been too calm when she had spoken to him. He would try to find out what had devastated her but for now he would let her sleep.

That night as they got in the bed Rhett asked Scarlett, "What upset you this afternoon?"

Scarlett replied, "I don't want to talk about it." She said it so firmly that Rhett knew the subject was closed. He did not want to shatter the fragile peace between them so he didn't try to badger her into telling him. She then laid down and curl herself into him and she definitely welcomed his embrace. Rhett held her close and got lost in his thoughts. Rhett still didn't know what to do to help her return to her former self or what he needed to do to repair her reputation. He had never felt so helpless in his entire life.

Life went on Rhett trying to brighten Scarlett's mood with little success, Scarlett spending a lot of time with her children, Scarlett being extremely polite to everyone, Scarlett going to ladies' events with Melanie, Rhett rarely going out at night and never going to The Painted Lady, the children enjoying being with their mother, and Mammy scolding Scarlett for not eating enough.

A week after Scarlett asked Rhett for a divorce she was sitting alone at another sewing bee while everyone was getting refreshments. A lovely woman sat down next to her and said, "It is so hard when you have a miscarriage because most people think you should be able to shake it off and just try again."

Scarlett stared at the woman and said, "That's right."

The woman said, "I'm Cora May Baker. I experienced three miscarriages before we stopped trying. Each time it hurt worse than the time before."

Scarlett started to tear up and quickly dabbed her eyes and said, "This is my first."

Cora May said, "Good job. Don't let those dragons see you crying. Come to my house tomorrow and we will talk. I think it will help to talk to someone who has been through it."

Scarlett looked at the woman and giggled. She didn't know why she had giggled. It was the way Cora May had said dragons. It struck her as funny. It was the first time she had giggled in so long. She didn't remember the last time she had giggled. Maybe when she and Rhett had been in New Orleans. The woman was in her late thirties and she was very attractive still. She had brown hair and brown eyes. She had known of Cora May since the war. They had worked at the hospital together. They had never had a single conversation together. One thing she knew about this woman was that she wasn't a gossip. Cora May had been very kind to her through this entire scandal with Ashley. When people talked about other people, she never joined in.

Scarlett said, "I think I need that. Where do you live?"

Cora May said, "121 Pecan Street. Come around 3 tomorrow." Cora May got up and walked away.

The next day when Scarlett left the house by herself Mammy was happy. It was the first time her little lamb had left the house by herself since she had returned from Tara except for her morning walks.