Note: This story was written long before the full details of the plot and characters of Lightning Returns were revealed. As such, it contains massive amounts of speculation, pretty much all of which turned out to be incorrect. But, hey, that's what speculation is about – coming up with something you think is cool only to find out you're completely wrong. But give it a shot – it's actually pretty amusing, at least that's what I think.

X X X

Serah Goes Evil

"Stop hogging the popcorn."

Vanille smirked and continued to hold the popcorn just out of Serah's reach. There was something distinctly amusing about watching the younger Farron try to look intimidating. Sure, the other woman was actually quite dangerous in her own right, but she lacked Lightning's talent for violence.

"No. I made it in the microwave, so it's mine." Vanille grabbed another handful of popcorn. "If you want some, you're going to have to kill me first."

"That can be arranged."

Despite her words, Serah didn't move. Instead, she continued to watch the romantic comedy they'd rented. With Snow and Fang out helping with an expedition, Serah hadn't been in the mood for staying at home alone. She would have hung out with Lightning, but the older Farron had a late shift with the Guardian Corps. Cue Vanille, friend and companion extraordinaire.

Unlike a few certain other people, Vanille didn't mind watching a fairly mindless romantic comedy. Nor did she mind Serah gushing over how romantic it all was (Lightning tended to make noises that vaguely resembled retching while Fang couldn't be shut up when it came to pointing out all the mistakes and dumb things people did).

In truth, Vanille was just happy to be spending more time with her friend. Serah and Snow were planning on getting married soon, and Serah had been spending almost all of her time with the friendly blonde. It wasn't that Vanille was jealous – well, maybe just a little – and she totally understood why Serah was spending time with Snow, but she missed the time they spent together mucking around and shooting the breeze.

A smile tugged at Vanille's lips as she put the popcorn down on the coffee table. Serah hadn't moved, but they both knew that she was going to. Like any self-respecting Farron, Serah could not let Vanille's challenge go unanswered. She didn't have to wait long.

With a speed that would have made Lightning proud, Serah tackled Vanille off the couch. Serah might not have Lightning's formal training, but she'd learned a lot from her sister over the years, and she'd had a few of her own adventures to boot. They hit the ground with a thump, and Serah immediately tried to get into position to pin Vanille down properly.

But Vanille had learned how to fight on the mean streets of Oerba, which meant she could fight dirtier than anyone in the world except maybe Fang. She managed to swing a leg up and hook it over one of Serah's arms. In a flash, she grabbed Serah's other arm.

"Gah!" Serah tried to roll with Vanille as the red head flopped onto the floor and yanked Serah's arm straight. "That's cheating."

"It's not cheating." Vanille patted Serah on the cheek with her foot, prompting another vicious glare and attempt to bite off her big toe. "It's called an arm bar, and you should have seen it coming."

"I still think it's cheating." Serah tried to use her other hand to push Vanille off. She had no such luck. "We were supposed to be having a friendly fistfight, and you had to go and bust out the grappling."

"Hey, Fang and Lightning grapple all the time." Vanille poked Serah in the face again. "It's basically their way of having sex when they can't find somewhere private."

"Ugh." Serah made a horrified sound. "Please don't tell me about my sister's sex life."

"You don't seem to have a problem telling her about yours." Vanille chuckled. It was Serah's way of getting rid of Lightning when she was hovering too much. However, she could only use it when Snow was away – and hence out of strangling range.

"I guess." Serah poked Vanille's leg. "Now, let me up."

Vanille let go and hopped onto her feet. She also did a little victory dance around Serah. "The rest of the popcorn is mine now, you now. After all, to the victor go the spoils."

Serah's lips twitched. "Jerk. Fine." She smiled. "I've missed this."

Vanille sank back onto the couch. She took another handful of popcorn and nudged the rest toward Serah. "You mean getting your ass kicked?"

Serah punched her in the arm, but there was no real force behind the blow. "I mean us hanging out." She paused, expression sober for a moment. "I've been neglecting you, I guess."

"Ah, no biggie." Vanille waved it off. "Consider what just happened punishment enough." She grinned. "So, what's my bridesmaid's dress going to look like?"

Serah sputtered. "Vanille!"

"What? We all know it's going to happen sooner rather than later."

"Yes, once I work out a way of keeping Lightning from killing him. But seriously, Snow wants to wait a little bit until we've finished the house we're building. An apartment is nice, but we want to have a family and…"

"An apartment isn't as nice as a house. I can see it already: a few kids, a white picket fence, and a dog or something. Or how about a chocobo? You can get them a smart one."

"You mean like Chirpy?" Chirpy was Dajh's chocobo and a great deal smarter than most people. "I don't think there's too many like him."

"True, but you can always look." Vanille waved one hand at the screen. "How long did you say this movie was? I think I'm going to pass out. Nothing has happened."

"Vanille! I think it's very romantic."

"You would. You're romantic enough for two people, which might explain why Lightning is such a stick in the mud sometimes."

"My sister is not a stick in the mud… well, not all the time." Serah sighed. "And it should only be another hour to go."

"Good." Vanille paused. "You owe me more popcorn for this. And sugar."

"Fine, fine."

As the movie went on, they continued to exchange meaningless banter of the kind Vanille had sorely missed. At some point, however, Serah began to nod off. It made Vanille chuckle. So, she wasn't the only one bored. She considered waking the other woman, but before she could, she found herself nodding off as well.

X X X

Vanille sighed as something warm and soft pressed against her. The scent of roses filled her nose, and she bit back a moan as gentle, insistent hands worked their way up from her knee to her thigh. A whisper rustled past her ear, and lips pressed against her cheek.

"Vanille…" A voice at once familiar but different brought her back to consciousness. "Vanille…"

Wait. This wasn't a dream. This was real. Her eyes snapped open, and she had a split-second to register the fact that Serah was in her lap, feeling her up, before the pink haired woman's lips were on hers.

Serah's lips were soft – so much softer than anything Vanille could have imagined. Despite herself, Vanille moaned and Serah moved smoothly to deepen the kiss. The Farron tasted of strawberries, and Vanille felt her mind go fuzzy as Serah smirked into the kiss. A moment later, Vanille went limp, groaning as Serah grew more assertive. She wasn't asking anymore, she was taking, and Vanille was letting her.

Wait.

This was wrong.

Vanille stiffened and tried to push Serah off. The other woman refused to budge and something close to panic settled in as Vanille wedged one arm between them and finally managed to shove Serah off her lap.

"What the hell?" Vanille half-fell, half-ran off the couch to put distance between them. She'd imagined how things might have been between her and Serah a few times, but at no point had Serah – the one in her imagination – ever done anything like cheat on Snow or take advantage of Vanille while she was sleeping. "What are you doing Serah?"

The Serah that rose sinuously from the floor was beautiful in the mocking, teasing deadliness that seemed to seep through her frame. She was a coiled spring, ready to fire, and as she sauntered forward, a swing in her hips, Vanille backed away. She didn't know what had happened while she'd been asleep, but there was no way that could be Serah.

"Serah?" The woman in front of her grinned. "I suppose you could call me that. But I prefer Lumina. It makes things much easier."

"Lumina?" Vanille clenched her fists. "What's going on? Where is Serah? What did you do to her!"

"Relax." Lumina smirked and struck a coquettish pose. "Serah's still in here somewhere, you could even say that I am Serah. Only, I'm a little different." She giggled. "What's wrong, little Dia? Scared?"

Vanille didn't want to admit it, but she was scared. Serah was one of the few people in the world that she didn't ever want to hurt, but this was quickly getting out of control. Her phone – wait. Damn. It was still on the couch. Lumina eyed it and tucked it into her pocket. "What do you want?"

"I can think of a few things." Lumina eyed Vanille hungrily. "I'd like to see my ice queen bitch of a sister lighten up. I wouldn't mind seeing the world burn. And well, I'd like to have you while I'm here."

Vanille was up against the far wall of the living room now. "What are you talking about?"

In a flash, Lumina crossed the distance between them. Vanille was suddenly pinned against the wall, every inch of Lumina rubbing up against her. Despite the situation, Vanille couldn't stop herself from groaning. This was still Serah's body, and she'd always liked Serah's body.

"I know what you've thought about." Lumina leaned in close, and Vanille turned her head away. "You wonder what it would be like between you and Serah. Tell me, little Dia, do you touch yourself? Do you pretend she's touching you?" She lowered her voice. "I'll let you in on a secret. Serah's thought about it too. She loves Snow, but she loves you too." She twisted the dagger. "If she'd met you first, it would be you she'd be marrying, not Snow. Do you like that thought, Vanille? Do you like the thought of marrying Serah?"

"Fuck you!" Vanille growled and tried to break free, but Lumina twisted around the blow and shoved Vanille onto the ground. She watched Vanille scramble back onto her haunches.

"I like the sentiment." Lumina laughed, and there was madness stirring behind her eyes. "But the only one here that's going to get fucked is you. Get it?" She laughed loudly. "And I bet you'll enjoy it too."

Lumina lunged forward, and Vanille stumbled away. This was different from her scuffle with Serah. Lumina fought very similarly, but there was a ruthless edge to her blows, a lack of control that hinted at someone used only to killing. Vanille did her best to hang on, but she was losing. Finally Lumina had her pinned down.

"Let's see." Lumina had both of Vanille's wrists pinned in one hand as she used the other to stroke Vanille's belly. "Shall I start from the top or the bottom?"

Vanille squirmed. She couldn't get free, and she didn't have any leverage. This was bad. Really, really bad. Desperately, she bucked upward. Lumina jerked forward, and Vanille drove her head up to catch Lumina's jaw. It wasn't a perfect head butt, but it was good enough. Lumina let go with a harsh cry and staggered away. Vanille got to her feet. Lightning had a practice gun blade nearby – blunt – that she'd tried to train Fang with one day. Vanille grabbed it and whacked Lumina over the side of the head with it.

The pink haired woman went limp.

Vanille dropped to her knees. She needed to get Lumina tied up or something, and she needed to get Lightning.

X X X

Lightning was used to coming home to weird things when Serah and Vanille were involved. However, Vanille's panicked call of "Get the hell over here, now!" had her scurrying back as quickly as she could. She had not expected to find Vanille holding her practice gun blade like a bat with her clothing askew and Serah bound and gagged to a chair.

"Am I interrupting?" Lightning had always wondered if Vanille and Serah had something going on. This did little to change her wondering.

"There's something wrong with Serah."

"Yes, I can see that." Lightning waved one hand at Serah. "She's tied to a chair."

"No!" Vanille waved the gun blade around. "We were watching a movie and then…" The next few words came out in a rush. "She tried to jump me. I mean… she was… and then…"

It took a few minutes for Lightning to coax the story out of the redhead. By the time she was done, Lightning's eyes were ominously narrowed. This wasn't like Serah. She stalked over to her sister and yanked the gag out. The voice that came from Serah's lips had her jerking back.

"You're looking well, sister. Fucking the huntress must be doing wonders for your mood."

Lightning's jaw clenched. Vanille was right. This couldn't be Serah. They'd fought before, but this kind of… of maliciousness was never something Serah had shown. "Vanille said you called yourself Lumina. Who are you and why are you here?"

"I'm your sister, Lightning. But not as you know her." Lumina giggled. "You saw, didn't you, when you sought out Etro. You got your friends back, but you saw the flow of time. You know there are other worlds. Other choices. Other Serahs."

The implication of the words sank in, and Lightning stepped back. "You're not from here. You're one of those… those other Serahs."

"Yes." Lumina giggled. "I must say, I've missed having you all around." She grinned. "You're all dead where I come from."

Lightning's fist clenched. "Give my sister back."

"Or what?" Lumina chuckled. "You'll hit me? We both know you can't do that."

"Give her back!" Vanille growled and grabbed Lumina by the shirt. "Give Serah back, you bitch!"

Lightning had to drag the red head off. "What do you want?"

"To watch the world burn."

"It's not going to." Lightning shook her head. "And we're going to get rid of you. I'm going to get my sister back."

"You can try –" Lumina's face twitched. "What?" She wasn't talking to them. "How are you –" She slumped into the chair unconscious.

X X X

"I don't appreciate what you did." Serah punched Lumina in the gut and then kneed her in the face. It wasn't pretty, but this wasn't about fighting pretty. This was about winning. She'd seen everything Lumina had tried to do, and she was pissed. Right now they were brawling in an endless expanse of white – her mind presumably. "You hurt Vanille, and you were trying to hurt my sister."

Lumina staggered to her feet and laughed. "You're a naïve little idiot. You think your happiness can last? How long before it all falls apart? How long before you turn on each other?" She smirked. "Your Dia is going to get jealous eventually, and what will dear Snow think when he finds out? Maybe he'll want to join in."

Serah roared and charged forward only to walk into a kick to the side that doubled her over. Lumina grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the ground. For a moment, Serah saw stars, and she clawed for Lumina's hand. Finally, she swept one leg out and tripped Lumina over. She rolled onto top of the other woman.

"I don't know what happened to you, but you're not hurting my friends." She head butted Lumina in the nose. "But I can tell one thing. Whoever your Vanille was, she never taught you to fight dirty."

X X X

When Serah opened her eyes again, it was to find Lightning and Vanille staring at her. Vanille, in particular, was holding the gun blade tightly. Serah bit her lip. She'd never wanted to hurt the redhead like that.

"Wait! It's me."

"How can we be sure?" Vanille clutched the gun blade like a bat.

"Because I'd never hurt you like that." Serah's eyes softened as she begged Vanille to believe her. "And because who else is going to put up with your popcorn hogging habits?"

Vanille relaxed. "Serah…"

They untied her and it wasn't long before Serah was explaining what had happened.

"What if she comes back?" Lightning asked quietly.

"Then I'll beat her again." Serah looked away. "You don't understand. She was… empty inside. She'd lost everything. I beat her because I still have you guys, and it's why I'll beat her again if I have to."

"So you're not going to try and jump me again?" Vanille asked.

"No."

"Good."

"Look." Lightning rubbed her face with her hands. "Why don't we get dinner? We can order in."

Serah nodded. "Sure, but what are we going to tell Snow and Fang."

Vanille chuckled quietly. It was good to have her friend back. "How about the truth? An evil Serah from another dimension tried to jump me before the real Serah beat her head in while fighting her in her mind."

X X X

Author's Notes

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

On my computer, I have a whole lot of unfinished and partially written stories/ideas laying around. When Lightning Returns was first announced, I tossed around ideas for a lot of possible stories. Only one of those – Alpha and Omega – actually made the cut and became a proper story.

Every so often, I take a trip down memory lane and go trawling through the big pile of unfinished/partially written stuff that I have to see if there's anything in there worth taking a second look at. You'd be surprised what I find in there. I've even found alternate versions of chapters that I've completely forgotten about (oops…). There's even a half-finished story there about Lightning trying to court Fang in what she believes is the "traditional Yun" way… which I probably am going to come back to.

Anyway, during my stroll down memory lane, I noticed a file called "Serah Goes Evil 1". Now that isn't exactly the most inspiring title, but the 1 at the end indicates that it's something that has seen at least one revision. I couldn't actually remember what the file was (I couldn't really remember writing it), so I decided to have a look. What I found was the chapter you've just read.

This happened back in February, and I posted it over on my Tumblr saying that I'd post it up elsewhere when I had the time. Surprise, surprise, I forgot all about it (again) until someone asked me about the story yesterday. Oops – it looks like I forgot to post it everywhere else. Oh well, I've taken care of that now.

And, yes, I do know that my guess about Lumina's identity was wrong.

Finally, I also write original fiction, mostly fantasy. If you want to read something humorous, give Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf a shot. You won't regret it. If you're in the mood for something more serious, try The Last Huntress. You can find links to both stories (and the rest of my original fiction) in my profile.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.