[Luke]

I groaned as I woke up.

My limbs felt heavy, like lead, and it hurt to stretch. I scrubbed at my face to get rid of the crusty remains of sleep, but I had to wince at the feeling of sandpaper rubbing on my eyes.

I felt like a wreck.

My breakdown yesterday was taking its toll on my body, a headache pounding behind my eyes. I groaned again, shifting to press my palms into my eyeballs, trying to stave off the pain.

"You awake now?" A high pitched voice spoke.

The sound was not friendly. My headache spiked again.

"Yes," I said, muffled into my pillow. "But I don't like it."

"Who does?" The voice snorted.

I tried to burrow myself back under the blankets, but someone yanked them off.

I blinked blearily upwards, trying to see beyond the blinding white lights. A figure, young and small, with dark black hair stood over me with my blanket in their arms.

"Wake up Luke, we have so much to discuss." Nico said, a smirk on his lips.

A girl that looked a lot like him stood at the foot of my bed, arms crossed. This must be his sister, Bianca.

"Don't be rude Nico. Give him back his blanket, he's here in the infirmary for a reason." She chided.

Annabeth spoke up from the other bed where she was cuddling with Percy. "No, no. He deserves it. Steal his pillow too, Neeks!"

Nico happily obliged, and I moaned in pain as my head slammed down onto the bed from the lack of support.

"That's what you get for trying to kill us." Annabeth said, tone mocking.

"Wait, he tried to kill Nico?" Bianca asked, horrified. "Nico, push him off the bed."

That got me quickly sitting up, trying to escape the revenge plot of the Di Angelo siblings, a "Don't-!" on my lips before I could think of how that is such a monumentally bad idea that is.

Nausea hits me, my head spins and my sight goes temporarily black- like I've just sat up too quickly with an iron deficiency. I immediately fall back, moaning in pain.

"Shit," I hear Percy say. "Luke, you okay?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, attempting to answer. "Fine… I deserve it…"

"Damn it Luke!" Annabeth replies, "That is not the right answer! Let me get Chiron."

"No!" I yell, regretting doing so when my headache spikes.

"Dude, you look like you just held up the sky. What happened?" Percy asked, concern painting his voice.

"He had a breakdown, cried a lot, had to be knocked down and restrained, and didn't sleep until his father told him to. He's also the only one of us who was dead before we came back- I'm pretty sure that took its toll too. He's had a bad day." Annabeth answered, sounding slightly sympathetic.

"I'll be fine." I said shakily, "I deserve it. It'll pass soon enough."

I heard someone standing up and the soft padding of feet. The sound of a cupboard opening, something being taken out, then someone sitting down on the bed.

Percy offered me a glass of nectar. "My therapist told me that no matter how much you think you deserve it, nobody deserves to be in pain. Drink."

I reluctantly took it, but when the golden liquid reached my lips and I started feeling better, I gulped the drink down as fast as possible.

Percy took the empty glass from my hand. "Better?"

"Yeah." I whispered, playing with the mattress. "When did that happen?"

"When did what happen?" Percy said, confused.

"He's talking about the therapist, seaweed brain." Annabeth answered, "And we've been going to therapy since we were 17- it's been helpful."

"Oh, yeah. The nightmares have gotten better and I don't want to commit un-alive anymore." He said cheerfully. "You desperately need some too. We'll see if she's practicing already."

I… couldn't argue with that.

Nico piped up. "Does this mean I have to give him back his blanket?"

Percy sighed. "Yes."

Nico handed my blanket back with a pout.

I wrapped it around my shoulders, slowly sitting back upright. "So, what do we have to discuss?"

"For one," Annabeth started. "Is double checking if you don't go insane again and try to murder us all and the gods. Another is whether or not you know what Kronos is up to right now."

"I'm not!" I immediately babble, panic rising up my throat at the thought they would leave me. "I'm so sorry, I never should have- He just was so persuasive! I just wanted revenge- Father never was- And Mother was- I hated- They hurt me! My family! I wanted to- wanted to- I-"

Percy, still sitting next to me, grabbed my arms to try and calm me down.

"It's okay, Luke! Calm down!" He tried to make me breathe. "Come on, in and out, breathe."

My panic was blinding me.

"He tortured me! I just wanted- remembered! Family! Please- I just- please!" There are salty trails going down my cheeks, "I'm sorry! Please don't- I'm sorry!"

Annabeth appeared in my line of sight, "Luke! It's okay, you have to calm down, we aren't going to hurt you for this!"

Faintly, the sound of a door opening and people entering the room could be heard.

Chiron galloped into my sight, Lee and Sally right behind him.

I didn't care, I continued to gasp out apologies in between sobs. The guilt seemed to choke me, eating me inside out, drowning me in horror for what I've done.

This is the first time in years that Kronos isn't in my head, whispering poison in my ear, souring every pleasant moment, making me doubt every smile, every laugh, every word, gaslighting me, killing me slowly and I didn't even notice!

I never noticed.

I'm always a puppet.

I just wanted to stop being used.

I wanted to mean something.

I gasped as something cool and pinching hit the skin of my neck.

My vision swam, but I could see the blurry outline of Percy and Sally yelling at Chiron.

Annabeth was holding my hand, cradling me as best she could with her small frame.

The hand that I killed so many for her…

… so many that aren't dead yet.

Bianca was waving a bronze knife at Chiron, standing proud at the foot of my bed, pushing Nico behind her.

My eyes felt heavy.

They drugged me.

I want my Father…

He'd fix all of this.

… I don't remember the last time I wished for my Father.

A/N

This is a quick reminder that I am petty. I realise that Luke wasn't perfect, but it's completely understandable for his turn to the Dark Side. Don't be all up in the reviews complaining that it's unrealistic that he's been redeemed, I get enough of that on Ao3.

Moving on, I am soft for Luke. I was listening to Murder Song by Aurora and wrote some poetry while doing this, so I may or may not have cried a bit while writing. You have no proof!