AN: I did not think you guys liked this story so much and I am sorry that I have been away from this story. This chapter has been finished for a while I don't know why I didn't just upload up. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 12

Three Months Later….

After a long day of rehearsing, Olivia finally had some downtime. The first thing she did was take a well needed shower. Then she fixed herself a glass of wine which she knew would further relax her. Before falling asleep, she made sure to call Fitz back since they've been playing phone tag all day. The line rung about four times before someone picked up or so Olivia thought.

"Hello." Michelle answered Fitz's cell phone sounding too comfortable for Olivia's liking. It was well after school hours, so Olivia's first thought was why the hell is Michelle around Fitz this late in the evening. Olivia's second thought was why the hell is Michelle answering Fitz's phone.

"There better a hella good reason why you're answering Fitz's phone." Olivia immediately snapped. Her mind instantly reverted back to the many times other women answered Lance's cell phone. Olivia is not about to go through the same heartache Lance put her through, God rest his soul.

Instead of answering Olivia, Michelle just snickered as if this was some big joke. Olivia hear some shuffling and if it wasn't Fitz taking his phone, Olivia was on the first thing smoking to Oakland.

"Liv- "

"Fitz why the hell is she answering your phone? Where are you? It is well past school hours?" Olivia fired off question after question not even allowing Fitz to explain.

"I'll check her for that. I am actually still at the building we had our monthly parent and community meeting. Do you finally have time to talk to me?" Fitz sarcastically asked flipping things back on Olivia.

Olivia rolled her eyes hating that he's been in this bratty mood for about a month now, "Fitz don't be like that you know that I am preparing for my tour. I call you every chance I get." Olivia explained.

"Yeah and you're interrupted every 2 minutes. Besides that's not the only thing that has kept your attention away from me." He didn't even try to hide the jealousy in his tone and that didn't go unnoticed by Olivia. She knew this would happened and she tried her hardest to avoid this very thing from occurring. She thought she was doing a good job at keeping Fitz feeling secured, she guess she was wrong.

"Fitz I didn't call to argue with you. You complain we don't have much time to talk, yet all you wanna do now is argue. And to be honest I am tired of arguing with you about my dead ex." Olivia irritatingly huffed. Fitz is going to drive himself mad trying to compete with Lance. Fitz doesn't even realize he have nothing to compete with, Olivia's heart belong to him and only him.

"You're tired of arguing about something that is clearly affecting our relationship." Fitz accused.

"Affecting us how? Fitz what are you even saying right now." Olivia felt her blood pressure rising by the minute. This man is going to drive her to have a heart attack.

"You know exactly what I mean Liv. I've seen you twice since you left and don't even pretend like it wasn't awkward. While we were together, you were silent lost in your own thoughts majority of the time. Sitting there watching you still grieve over his death, hearing you call out his name in your sleep, bothers me. If you don't think his death is affecting us than clearly you're blind." Fitz has been holding this in for a while and it saddens Olivia that he felt like he couldn't express this to her sooner, or maybe he have and she's been too far gone in her own head and thoughts like he said. This is what she didn't want with their relationship, lack of communication. This is where here and Lance went wrong. Now that it has crept into their relationship, Olivia wants to dead it before it becomes an out of control weed that destroys them.

"I never took into consideration how this whole situation has made you feel. You're right Lance death is affecting us and I don't want it to because I don't want to lose you." Olivia made clear hoping Fitz understood where she was coming from.

"You need therapy Olivia. He was a part of your life for a long time and you're not just going to get over that. You need to talk to a professional to help you through this, especially before your tour." Fitz suggested.

"You really think I need therapy?" Olivia asked. She feels like she does, but of course Harrison and her team are advising her against it. The only people pushing for her to go to therapy are her parents and now Fitz. Harrison and her team doesn't want her in therapy because they're afraid somehow it is going to get leaked to the public and they don't want Lance's death to affect or become the headline of Olivia's tour.

"I really think you do. Liv you've been through a traumatic experience you need to speak to a professional to help you through this, that's the only way you'll be able to move on with your life." Fitz explained

"You're right…I'll set up an appointment with my therapist…. now let's talk about something else. How was your day?" Olivia asked switching gears.

"My day was hectic as usual. There is some neighborhood beef happening right now and of course it is spilling into the school. I'm tired Liv…I'm tired of watching my kids fight, argue, and threaten to kill each other, as if they already aren't targets outside these walls. I am trying to do everything in my power to stop the violence happening in King, but I get zero support from the parents and I don't know if I can look into another one of my student faces and see the disappointment." He sounded stressed and defeated and it killed Olivia that she couldn't be there to support him.

Olivia's heart went out to Fitz. His job is demanding, underappreciated and tough and she commends him for actually being a principal that cares.

"Babe you can't save everyone. They need you to keep your sanity. I know it's rough especially when you feel like you have no one backing you or showing you their appreciation. But I appreciate you and I back you 100%." Olivia encouraged.

"And that's one of the many reasons why I love you. How was your day?"

"I love you too. My day was filled with rehearsing and auditioning the rest of the dancers. This tour is gonna be the death of me Fitz like seriously." This is the exact reason why Olivia said she hates touring. People don't see this part of touring.

"I know how much you hate touring, but you got this. You're gonna kill this tour like any other tour you've ever done in the past. Your name is O-L-I-V-I-A P-O-PE." Fitz teased mocking Usher's song 'Nice and Slow' when he spelled out his full name.

Olivia burst out laughing at his silliness.

"I want to take you away after your tour." Fitz said catching Olivia by surprise.

"Please take me away far away from L.A." Olivia begged.

"Oh don't worry we'll be far away from L.A." Fitz assured.

"Good…" Olivia yawned.

"Get some rest, I'll call you in the morning. I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia ended the call.

She decided to dial up Dr. George, the therapist she was recommended to see after her departure from Triple Threat.

"Olivia what a surprise, how are you?" Dr. George greeted.

"Hey Dr. George, I am doing okay, how about yourself?" Olivia greeted back.

"Ah I can't complain, to what do I owe this phone call from the legendary Olivia Pope."

"I am in great need of your services again Dr. George." Olivia replied.

"You know that's not a problem, just send me your availability and I will accommodate you."

"You're the best Dr. George."

"Anything for my superstar."

"Alright, talk to you later."

"Okay Olivia, enjoy the rest of your day."

"You do the same."

Olivia ended the call feeling a whole lot better. If anyone can get her back on the right track it's Dr. George.

X

"Michelle can I speak with you for a second?" Fitz asked as he walked past her desk.

Michelle stopped packing up her things and followed Fitz back to his office.

"What's up?" She asked closing the door behind herself.

"Why did you answer my phone when Liv called?" Fitz curtly asked. He had a migraine and just looking at Michelle made it even worse. His staff, students, and Michelle were all working his last nerves and he feels like he is about to explode.

"Because she kept blowing up your cell phone so I took her out of her misery." Michelle answered as if she did Fitz a favor.

"Don't ever answer my phone again, you were way out of line doing that, and then you answer when Liv of all people is calling. Do you know she will beat your ass if you keep testing her?"

Olivia was back in Oakland about three weeks ago, she stopped by King to check in with the students and Michelle acted shady towards her the entire time. Olivia didn't allow Michelle to bring her out of character, but told Fitz the next time Michelle tried her, she was going to beat her ass. Olivia doesn't let her superstar status gets in the way of her having to beat someone's ass if need be. She's from Oakland and she lets it be known every chance she gets.

"You think I am scared of her? I will end her career so fast. I don't even know why you're still with her when it is obvious she isn't over Lance. I told you that you will never ever fit into her world Fitz. The man is dead yet everyone including you can see how much she loves him and that she is still in love with him. Everyone on Twitter and Facebook sees it, so why don't you?" Michelle retorted.

"You can go Michelle." Fitz dismissed her. Had she kept talking Fitz probably would've went off on her and God knows what would've happened.

"Stay in denial all you want. But just know you had something real in me." Michelle shrugged and walked off.

Fitz shook his head and sat down behind his desk. He pulled up Twitter on his MacBook and typed Olivia and Lance names as hashtags to see what popped up. He became enraged upon lying eyes on Olivia at Lance's funeral looking like a widow instead of an ex-lover. She looked distraught and heartbroken. She was dressed in all black with a pair of black shades on that hid her obvious puffy eyes. That night when she called him Fitz couldn't believe how swollen her eyes were. If that's not bad, Lance and Olivia have a ton of fan pages on Facebook. That's a different kind of pain seeing pictures of Olivia and Lance when they were still together and in "love". Fitz had to stay off the blogs because they ran so many fake stories on Olivia not being able to cope after Lance's death. One outrageous story falsely claimed Olivia was hospitalized twice for fainting spells.

Fitz have to give Olivia credit. She has been trying her hardest to assure him that he has nothing to worry about. Still Fitz feels like he is somehow competing with Lance. Not to mention once he and Olivia's relationship becomes public, the competition will surely heat up, and Lance seems to already be ahead of Fitz by at least 10 steps.

"Fuck." Fitz gritted shutting his laptop.

Fitz called his mother. He needed some advice.

"Hey Bubba." Tereasa answered causing Fitz to cringe. He hates his childhood nickname.

"Hey mom, are you busy?" Fitz asked.

"Never for my children, what's going on?" Tereasa asked.

"I am competing with a dead man. I am losing her mom. It's been three months and she's still grieving." Fitz exhaled.

"No you're not, you're overthinking things like you always do Fitzgerald. Lance was before you, you have to come to terms with that like I told you. She was in love with another man before you, so yes her still grieving his death is normal. Get your head out of your ass and be there for her. Show up for her. She calls me all the time and express to me that she wish you were more understanding of what's going on, and the fact that she is madly in love with you and how she is afraid of losing you because of this situation." Tereasa bluntly replied. This is why Fitz loves his mother and comes to her for advice. She always keeps it real and blunt no matter what. His father is too laid back to care. He doesn't handle conflict well and usually agree with whatever Fitz's mom says.

"I talked her to earlier and told her maybe she should go talk to a therapist since his death is clearly affecting our relationship." Fitz informed his mother.

"Fitz this isn't about you though, this is about her. She lost someone you didn't. While I agree with you for telling her to go talk to someone, you shouldn't have prefaced it as because it's affecting your relationship, that was selfish. You should have prefaced as her going to talk to someone for herself and her own sanity.

Fitz thought about what his mother said and she was right, that was pretty selfish on his part to suggest therapy because it's affecting their relationship. Olivia brings out the worse in Fitz when it comes to that green-eyed monster jealousy.

"You're right mom, thanks I have a lot of shit to work on I see." Fitz replied.

"Absolutely, Bubba don't lose this girl because of your jealous self-centered ways Fitzgerald." Tereasa warned.

"I won't mom. I gotta go, I love you."

"I love you too Bubba."

After work, Fitz drove to the bar to meet Jake for some drinks.

"What's up buddy." Jake greeted Fitz.

"What's up man." Fitz greeted back as he slid into the stool next to Jake.

"Another stressful day at the job." Jake finished his shot of Tequila.

"Tell me about it." Fitz waited for Jim to bring him his shot of Crown Royal it was that kind of day.

"How's the superstar?" Jake asked referring to Olivia.

"She's good, she's preparing for her tour." Fitz took the shot of Crown Royal requesting a double shot.

"How's she been holding up?"

"Not too good. To be honest with you, I kinda checked out so I can't even tell you how she's been actually holding up because I haven't been paying attention. I was letting my selfishness get in the way of me being there for her and after talking to my mom I feel like shit." Fitz confessed.

"I get it. It has to be rough seeing your girl grieve over her ex-fiancé. That will cause any man to feel how you felt. But you have to remember that she's with you not him. I am sure prior to his passing, she wasn't even thinking about him. With him dying so suddenly it's going to hit her hard for sure, but she'll get over it, and you two will be right back where your left off. But you can't check out bro, you have to show her that through anything you have her back if this is long term." Jake advised.

"You're right." Fitz nodded his head.

X

One week later…

"Harry I have an appointment with Dr. George tell the remaining dancers I am sorry I couldn't be here, but that I wish them luck and thank them for auditioning." Olivia said to Harrison as she grabbed her Louis Vuitton Tote bag from off the chair.

"What are you going to see him for? You're fine, right." Harrison replied looking at Olivia oddly.

"No I am not fine Harry. I can't keep walking around like everything is alright and it's not. This is already starting to affect my relationship with Fitz and I don't want it to affect me on tour." Olivia explained.

"He put you up to this?" Harrison questioned referring to Fitz. The bad blood between them still exists.

"It doesn't matter who did, I'm ready Ju." Olivia said dismissing Harrison as Julian led the way out of the auditorium where auditions were taking place.

"I'm happy you're going to see him Liv." Ju commented before they walked outside.

"Me too Ju." Olivia replied as she pulled her Chloe shades over her face to block the sun and flashes from the cameras.

There were some fans outside wanting pictures and autographs. Olivia smiled for a few pictures and signed as many autographs as she could.

"Wow I didn't expect to see you this soon." Dr. George said to Olivia as he met Olivia outside of his office. He hugged her and kissed her cheek.

Dr. George is an older Black male in his late fifties with a body like a thirty-year-old. He has long locs that reach the middle of his back, a salt and pepper goatee, and the brightest hazel eyes Olivia has ever seen on a person. He is a very handsome older man that is easy on the eyes.

"I told you that I was great need of your service." Olivia replied with a smile.

"I see. Come on in and make yourself comfortable." Dr. George said.

Olivia walked inside of Dr. George's office, while Julian waited outside of the door watching the comings and goings of people in the small intimate office.

"So, what's going on Olivia?" Dr. George asked sitting on the couch across from Olivia.

"I don't know why Lance's death is affecting me so much Dr. George. This man has caused nothing but pain in my life, but yet I feel so guilty about his suicide. I feel like it is my fault." Olivia admitted.

Dr. George nodded his head. "Tell me more about why you feel guilty about his death?" Dr. George pushed.

"I guess I feel guilty because he always said if I left him he would die…I never thought he'd actually meant it. Lance knew just what to say to make me feel guilty about leaving him, but once I finally put my foot down and left him for real he goes and does this. I just wish we would have had the chance to have one more conversation. Things ended so bad between us and I have to live with that for the rest of my life." Olivia choked up thinking about their last conversation which really wasn't a conversation, but Olivia telling Lance to basically fuck off. She was so angry at him for cheating for the umpteenth time that looking back she wish she would've told him she forgives him for his indiscretions, but they can't be together.

"I see. Olivia you were in a relationship with a man that manipulated you. He knew just the right words to keep you in his trap, because he knew you had a weakness for him and he used that to his advantage. Olivia all you did was wake up and realize that you didn't want to be manipulated anymore. You left a toxic relationship and there is nothing to feel guilty about. I am sure you wish it was on better terms, but it didn't work out that way. And you cannot blame yourself for his death, you are not at blame. Lance had demons before you, and after you, unfortunately you couldn't save him. I don't think anyone could for that matter." Dr. George preached and Olivia felt every word he spoke.

He knows all about Olivia's relationship with Lance. Olivia tried a thousand times to get Lance to come with her to see Dr. George and he always declined. Just maybe if he would've agreed earlier, it could've possibly helped him face the demons he was facing.

Olivia nodded her head. "I just wish I had some sort of closure you know. I think that's what I am missing the closure. He left this letter behind but I can't bring myself to read it and I know it sounds dumb because I said I need the closure, but I don't even want to know what's in the letter." Olivia tearfully expressed. If she would've gotten the closure she needed from Lance, maybe she would be able to accept his death a little easier.

"Okay so how about this, you write him a letter. After you write him a letter, visit his gravesite and read it to him. Then, you read the letter he left you. That's a goal I want you to set for yourself before you go on tour."

Olivia thought about. Can she really do this?

"I think I can do it." Olivia replied. The more she thought about it the more it sounded feasible.

"I know you can. After you write your letter to him and you read the letter he left you, if you need to check back in with me, you know I'm available."

"Thank you Dr. George." Olivia stood up from the couch feeling much better than when she walked in.

"My pleasure Olivia." Dr. George stood up as well.

The two of them walked out of his office. Julian led Olivia back to the awaiting car and she requested to be taken home. Feeling her personal cell phone vibrate, Olivia pulled it out of her Birkin and saw that Angela was calling.

"Hey look who decided to resurface." Olivia teased.

"I know I am such a bad best friend." Angela whined.

"It's fine you've been working, how was it?" Olivia asked. Angela was called to Jamaica last minute right after Olivia's birthday to participate in a documentary on skin bleaching. This is why she couldn't accompany Olivia back to Oakland and witness all the craziness that happened while Olivia was there.

"It was actually better than I thought it would be and now I want to learn so much more about why Jamaican women turn to skin bleaching. I feel like we only scratch the surface of this issue." Angela replied and Olivia could hear the enthusiasm in her tone of actually wanting to learn more on this issue.

"I think you should delve more into this issue because it's a serious issue affecting our sisters when it shouldn't. And with us both being in the business, we see it all the time. I am down if you need my insight on anything." Olivia genuinely offered.

"You're the best, where are you now?"

"On my way home from seeing Dr. George. Are you back home?"

"Yeah and girl I am beat."

"Well you get some rest and let's link up later for dinner."

"Sounds cool."

"Alright girl bye."

"Bye Liv."

While at dinner, Olivia and Angela caught up on everything. Olivia talked about her relationship with Fitz and how Lance's overdose has affected it. Olivia also told her that she is seeing Dr. George to help put Lance's death behind her and Angela agrees that that's what's best. She also cannot wait to meet Fitz. Olivia returned back home exhausted from the day. All she wanted was rest. After taking a shower, she retired to her bed to finally get some shut eye. She has the next two days off before she is back in full swing for rehearsals.

Knock. Knock. Olivia sighs and gets out of bed. Sleep has become a luxury she just cannot afford anymore.

"All I want is sleep! Is that too much to ask?" Olivia snapped as she snatched her bedroom door opened.

"Hi." Fitz charmingly smiled with that one brow cockily raised.

Olivia rubbed her eyes thinking she was hallucinating. But Fitz was still standing there in the flesh.

"Oh my God what are you doing here?" She jumped into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist squeezing him as if he might disappear.

"I've been an asshole to you and for that I am sorry. I took some time off from work so that I can be here for you through therapy…you tour…and whatever else you need."

"How did I get so lucky?" Olivia felt the tears threatening to spill. The fact that he showed up for her means the world.

"How did I get so lucky?" Fitz repeated as he winked and carried Olivia inside of her bedroom kicking the door close behind him.

After stripping out of his clothes, they laid together in her bed. She didn't want sex, though she craved him. She just wanted the closeness. She asked him to hold her and he did. That night she got some of the best sleep she has in a long time. If she could stay in his arms forever, she would. Fitz offers a comfort Lance never could and she wish Fitz could see that there is no comparison between him and Lance. Had she met Fitz first, she would've never looked Lance's way.

Hey babes, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! I think I am going to end it in the next chapter or the following chapter not sure yet. As always leave your thoughts!