[A Serious Author's Note: Ugh, my aching brain cells. I got writer's block, hence why I stopped my other story for now and this troll fic was born. I would like to congratulate those who managed to survive the first two chapters of this story so far. Enjoy the train wreck!]

Chapter 3: This Is How I Disappear

I was sitting at a table with Onion who decided to treat me to dinner that night since I was hungry, broke and alone in a strange place and he felt bad for me, I guess. We had some watery soup with potatoes that tasted like water and a loaf of bread as hard as a rock. The food was terrible and it made me homestuck because I missed the taste of instant ramen and cereal.

I was still wearing my black corset with my black miniskirt and fishnets but with Omund's black fur clock over my outfit (it was really cold out and he was nice enough to let me borrow it.) I was surprised he was a gentleman but I freaked out a little because maybe it was the nerd cosplayer equivalents to wearing your boyfriend's sweater. Except it wasn't a black MCR hoodie from a concert but a weird DnD cosplay cape instead. I suddenly remembered my BF Damian waiting for me back home. We met at a concert last year and it was love at first sight, like he was my dark soulmate. We were supposed to meet at the MCR concert that night and he must be worried sick about me. I cried because I thought about him, and my red eyeshadow got smeared by my tears so it looked like I was crying tears of blood.

"How odd. Since when did tavern wenches start coming to Winterhold?" A man with a rough voice said from the table next to mine, interrupting my desolate sobbing.

I looked in his direction and I gasped! He had grayish brown skin, pointy ears, red eyes, and silver hair in a mohwawk. He looked like a gothic version of Legolas from Lord of the Rings, even though he was also wearing a dorky blue wizard cosplay outfit similar to Onmund's. His costume looked so convincing that I thought he could be a real elf!

"What did you just call me!" I barked at the handsome gothic legolass. I can't believe he called me a tavern WRENCH! That's like Shakespearean for a cheap b!tCh! I decided I don't like him even though he looked kind of hot.

"Hmph!" The jerk elf cosplayer ignored me, which made me angrier but Onion comforted me so I stopped and sat back down. I stuck my middle finger with blood red nail polish up at the pointy eared nerd.

"Sorry about that, Raven. Please don't mind Enthir. He can be a bit rash sometimes." Onmund said nervously.

"WTF, you know that jerk?!" I shooted.

"We go to school together..." he repleid. "Now please, don't make a big deal out of this. You don't want to get on his bad side."

He looked at me pleadingly with his limpid blue eyes, so I gave in because he was cute and I didn't want his classmate to bully him anymore.

"So where exactly are we? Where's Winterhold?Where is Skyrim?" I asked Onion. He looked at me like I was a mediocre dunce.

"You really don't know? You must not be from around here. Skyrim is the northernmost province of Tamriel."

"Tamriel? Is that a county in Europe?" I asked, trying to remember my geography class. I wished I paid more attention to those boring lectures.

"I've never heard of Europe..." Onmind repleid. "Tamriel is a continent..."

"But there are only 7 continents and Tamriel isn't one of them! Don't tell me we're on another planet!" I said jokingly.

"We're still in the planet Nirn on Mundus if that's what you're wondering about..."

"OMFG you're crazy!" I yelled at him. He was either demented or he's taking his LARP cosplay way too far. I had to get out of that place, so I ran out the door!

It was dark, freezing and blizzarding outside. There was 2 feet of snow on the ground and I shivered in my revealing black outfit. It looked like I was in a weird countryside of Alaska where all the houses were tiny log cabins except for a big castle at the horizontal. I don't think there are any castles in Alaska tho, so maybe we were in Europe! Then I looked up at the sky and saw...

TWO FCUKING MOONS!!!1

Omg this must be a weird comma dream! There's only supposed to be 1 moon, not 2! But one moon was huge and the other was smaller and they were laughing at me from the sky behind the aurora boarials.

I pinched myself to see if I could wake up but nothing happened. It was real! Could I really be in another planet,?! On another dimension?!